If you look at me now,
See how I appear so small,
Crawled back up here from hell,
Were you dropped me off.
I am thirsty from the heat,
And the effort I put out,
Just to make to this place,
Above hopeless and lost,
Feeling a fraction better,
No where near the man I was,
Partially because I will not,
Open myself back up,
I’ve experienced a sort of trauma,
Dealt with loss the best I can,
Developed into this man,
Looking upward from the bottom,
Seeking the right way up,
Until I finally reach the summit,
See the sunshine,
Feel its warmth,
At last a healthy human being,
That’s not afraid of love.
Climbed this far,
For myself.

release me
i am shaking with broken wings just beneath the rafters of your home
shifting shapes and twisting arms to find a basement in my bones
stuck in boxes with no top to hold the mess that i've become
another scar, a second lover or tale that's just begun
and this is how it will begin: your mess will fill my broken ends,
our stories start the same, my friend - we suffer for our own commends.

i didn't want to freak you out, but i have to say:
everyone you love will tear you down
and before you know it, you will hardly remain--two empty cigarette boxes and a well-worn frown.
-aprilxcv

I have got an infinite number of places to go,
the problem is where to stay......

You see these wings?
They’re my wings.

I didn’t paint them on my eyes,
strap them on for a pageant, play, or Halloween night
I didn’t tattoo them on the small of my back
to feel the sting of satisfaction of an image I can’t see

My wings,
are right between my shoulder blades
with spreading feathers like a warm hug after a long winter’s day
when you come home to the one that loves you
and they stoke the fire and stroke your cheeks
until they fall asleep at your feet

My wings,
have tips that stretch around the world,
brushing the cheeks of crying children
lifting the chins of the concerned, confused mothers
and smoothing the hair of the disheveled, drowning fathers

And it breaks my heart that
my wings,
have always been there
from the moment I clutched the bars of my crib
screaming my mother’s name in desperation
to the moment I released her hand
in a promise to be home at midnight
on my first date with a boy
who had smiled at me in Spanish class

And my wings,
were here when the same boys that smiled
turned to a new wind,
and took flight without me
My wings,
were here every single day I couldn’t roll out of bed
couldn’t make it on time
couldn’t call my mama back
and couldn’t find my **** way home

My wings,
have been waiting
for me to finally believe
that they’ve always been there,
and when the world feels like too much

my wings,
*wake up.

You're gone and no amount of music will bring you back to me.

ever since you left
i've replaced water with *****
it's dripping through my fingers
and is falling to the floor
it's coursing through my veins
still i drink a bit more

the flowers in my stomach
died the same day
i forgot you can't water them
with alcohol, anyway

so here i am still trying to escape
this is it, this is goodbye
i hope this time i forget your name.

If I ever got to the end of the rainbow
Or that one wish upon a star
To me my only, hopes and dreams to wish
Is for you, anywhere , that you are