Once again I'll call your name
When my foolish heart quakes with pain
Mocking embrace, I push away, longing, aching for your company
I wither and decay with emptiness
Glass shattered eyes, bleeding so softly
Selfishness, hollow smile, cracks the foundation
Bleeding me dry
You walk through my halls and tear me down
******* some would say, but you feel like home to me
Winter mood illuminates, a foolish display
The last thing i do, regret
Silver tongue, crystal eyes, follow my piper
With my fear and shield of lies, completing my failure
Now my sins show the way to lasting impressions
Fading colors you have shown me
And your arms have led me astray
But you were always like home to me
I've seen through to what's within
Lost and alone you said I was what you were looking for
So why do I feel so empty
It all seemed so real, but I am nothing in your eyes now
Reaching out, you pulling away, never letting me in
I see you live your life, like a fool I stand here waiting
In letters, words, and pictures
You profess your love to me, but alas it's all lies
And the malice I should feel for your deceitfulness
Somehow always escapes me
And in the shading between all the words you said to me
I know I'd be left empty
Because you are home to me...

I once knew a man who called me trash,
and after that, worthless,
with some lovely expletives in between.

I was hurt, yes,
but the truth hurts,
does it not?

I nodded my head,
I knew the truth.

The truth...
the truth was a lie,
and my lies were truth.

All was fine,
and I was worthless.

The truth was a lie,
and my lies were truth.

I no longer know
what is real and what's not.

All was fine,
and I was worthless.

I crave a love so deep the ocean would be jealous.
I loved the stars so fondly even the moon looked back at me.
The truth is I dont need someone in my life to tell me that I am special, god told me I am.
He wants me to give love and all I get back for that is tears on my face and scars on my body.

Its not complicated to be the girl nobody truely cared about.
You may be miles away but my demons aren't.
They would never mistreat me and mistake my tears for a smile.
The prove of being ugly isnt a sign of the stars, it comes from the heart.

I have cried a lot of tears knowing nobody would cry for me.
So maybe this time it is good to be alone in the dark.
Try to pull yourself out this time and make a promise not to tell a single soul
about our little secret. Not that someone would really care.
They see your outside not knowing what is going on, on the inside.
I can't drown my demons they know how to swim. They will catch me sleeping.

I was the girl who never was afraid of anything in the world. They called me fearless.
I always was a good actress, being the lovely and popular girl never was a hard role.
Being a dissapointment is another thing. My life is fail wasted with a bottle of *****.
My life isn't going up because my thoughts are falling down and wanting to be dead,
never was this of big deal this year. I am scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all. I never was good with my emotions anyway.

The blades make me feel comfortable and the cuts make me feel like an outcast.
I always knew I was different from my friends, they never called me this but deep down
inside I knew I was the ******, the outsider and nobody really did like me.

When people want something from you they will do anything to get that thing.
Even if it is just to get their needs, yes I am talking about man.
Being a doll in one of this stupid games always was my biggest struggle.
I am a believer in love, knowing I will never get it. because nobody really cares.

The blood makes me feel alive. It reminds me that I am not dying. not yet.

I always wonderd what heaven looks like, even though I am going to hell.
Being a good person is the hardest thing I am dealing with in my life.
May god forgive me for the things I have done and for the things I am going to do.

My head is going to explode soon.
Tell Satan I said hello.

In the silence of a day like today
In the wake of yesterday's dreams
Forgetfulness feels like noncompliance
In a world where defiance still seems
Like a benign inaction of innocence
Though it feels like a stabbing of spite
Willing to kneel to your Goddess
Yet unable to yeild to Her might
There is no weakness to worship at Her altar
It takes strength to relinquish control
Relax and trust in the knowledge
Acquiesce and watch it unfold
There is freedom in the smile of an angel
There is love to be had all around
There is power in making Her smile
Don't be the sadness beind every frown
Inaction, as innocent as it seems
Breeds disappointment that infects every smile
And all those little requests
Will stop being wanted after awhile
See, for all the deeds left unfinished
And all those tiny tasks left undone
Will chisel away Her hearts desire
Leaving Her another invisible no one
An empty shell of a Goddess
Whose glory, in your heart will remain
While She curses her very existence
Languishing in true-love's refrain

she stood outside the apartment
finger halfway up her nose
scratching with her free hand
a **** loosely encased
in patchy, ***** blue jeans
ratty sneakers with holes where
her toes and dignity poked through

usually a whiner, a brayer
a donkey among gently purring cats
calling down thunder and racket
like a motorcycle tearing circles through a lamp shop

today, of all days, she swayed

silently
in loose waltz time
to soft piano of a long-dead Frenchman
curling down from speakers
mounted in windows
across the street

her misshapen hips and flexing calf muscles
lifting her up in a rude en pointe
somehow made elegant
by a quiet ballad, a soothing moment
on a hot August morning
in Main Street
of the hinterlands.

2/12/2015

If something is sold out for good ,then                                                                   It's absolutely good ,but                                                                                           If a nation is sold out for any reason,then                                                              It's completely going to be a hostage                                                                     For ever and ever ...                                                                                                  ___________________­

The human mind is running
the latest software upload
of this paradigm shifting program~
that calculates genetic algorithms
into vast patterns of random regularity
birthing the seeds of intelligent transformation
by out-solving itself upon a flowering field~
of continuously evolving functions
displaying fractal solutions of subtle nuance~
braced in between a boundary of infinitely opposed edges.

...the Universal Mind does this in every dimension for an eternity.

I simply cannot complain about the aches in my brain
out of a shear respect for the absolute profundity of the situation.

/
We know the truth of this history
If the time is upon us to sin
We can refuse to
But the charges do not

Men move toward the classic way
To love
To Light
To Dream
To Release

One thing I want to say
to Claudius:

Not a War
Not a ******
Take away any child smile
Anyone can't be happy

Who Murdered Love
Anyone can't bring peace
Who does not love the flowers
He may even ****

Valentine,
My dear Valentine:

On that day you captured
Thought so
Is not something else,
Love is the only way of Salvation

Human life like a hill track
Somewhere in ups and downs,
This prompts the love constantly Friend
And So "Hate is the only word for Claudius"

Though You put to Death,
Hundreds of thousands of years later
Yet Love glistens in the hearts of millions,
Everybody a Valentine One

And Today I say,
Say with my thousand friends

"Long Live the Love
  Long Live Valentine"
/
@ Musfiq us shaleheen