Close your eyes,
And listen deeply,
The wind is weeping,
As he is fading.

The memories of us,
Slowly passing by,
Leaving no trace,
Of reminiscence.

Even the wind;
It wept,
Ceased - vanished,
Forgotten yesteryear.

Dark night,
Cars pass,
Lights on.

Can they see me through the windshield?
What would they see?
Red eyes,
Wet face,
Blank expression.

Unbrushed hair,
Pushed behind my ears.

Who am I to strangers?
11pm
Driving around,
Aimlessly,
Because I can't keep it together anymore. 

Especially at night.
If I reach out,
No one answers,
I guess I just stopped trying,

Or maybe you did.

He’s falling for me
Falling farther than me
Planting himself at the bottom
Thinking I’m going to join him

I’m looking over a cliff
A cliff overlooking his meadow
A meadow for me
For him
For us

A dark sky rests ahead
A layer between us
while I’m resting on the cliff
and while he’s planted down below

He’s in love with me
In love with me
Making plans for our future
Thinking I’ll be his future

The storm hasn’t arrived
The time is inevitable
I’m closer to the edge
And soon I will fall

I don’t want to fall
Into the meadow
I want to stay put
And back away from the cliff

The height is our barrier
My barrier
To say the least
Though it’s invisible

Above me rests a plan
A plan far above me
I can almost reach it
If I back away from the cliff

No barrier exists
In his eyes
In his eyes
My heart cannot be shown

We’re miles a part
My words pull us in
Pull us closer together
My words, “I love you”

His words, “I love you”
They mean very little
Our words, “I love you”
Pushing me off the cliff

I’m standing on the cliff
Overlooking his meadow
A night sky approaches
Where all is seen is hidden

I’m standing on the cliff
I’m inching toward the bottom
One more step
I shall fall

I’m falling
Falling for him
And when I reach the bottom
I shall not wake up

I'm young and obliviously unworldly,
I cry and plead on my knees,

There's a black cloud up in my air,
But I smile, despite all this despair,

I've been shattered and knocked down,
But I still walk -with a halo being my crown,

"It's not about happiness but the worst days" they said,
"When you will learn to fly and not mourn instead."

I'm a secret you're strangely thrilled for,
The old mystery which could never go forth,

They pulled me to the ground but I rose higher,
Whenever I walked out of my shelter, my eyes were drier,

I keep a scabbord which you can't see,
Filled with sobs, words and vengeful dreams

Tonight,

I looked at the stars like I do every night,

and I cried.

because this time,

I remembered

that some of them are dead.

and I realised

just how envious I was,

that I was not as beautiful as a star,

even though,

I too,

was still there.

yet also

so

very

dead.

I’m obsessed with pain
Because pity comes with
Fighting my own made-up fights
“How do you know what I go through!?
How can you possibly understand!?”
I wish I could say those words
Yet they remain locked in verse
Every waking moment I rehearse
Front to back and back in reverse
Cause maybe if I keep yelling
To myself
I’ll start to believe
My own delusions
This confusion
The illusion
That I’m in pain when really I’m not

I want to hurt so that I can say:
“You’re hurting me, please go away.”
And yet I always stay