My tender lover
how I miss your warmth
two young bodies colliding at the very edge of world
I wish I could be like you
have no hard feelings
look at the pictures and feel absolutely nothing
I know you hate when my nostalgia comes around
but my love
all these poems are written in your name
you promised that you'd stay
And I promised I'd be here
through the poor and bad
cold heart and all yeah that's what I said
But you iced me out, thats what you do
I never come running this is the truth
you turned your back and never looked again  
I suppose I never imagined I'd be the receiving end
of your frostbite
how am I supposed to have no hard feelings
it doesn't make sense when the memories keep repeating
you once told me you were my home
these days
I find myself drinking alone
and writing you poem after ******* poem
Now I lay in my bed,
drunk, cold and stripped down to the bone  
because the only one man I ever did loved
struck me right in the heart
he didn't think twice
so maybe I'm desperate
just a little unwell
but don't tell my love, no hard feelings
after you dropped a ******* bombshell

Our love is a ghost
lurking among the shadows
pouncing about in the darkness of my mind
I knew you were special
but I never knew the inner workings of your soul
would intertwine themselves between the deepest places
of my mind
These days I only see you in the dark
your face is a scar only to be recovered
in the early hours of the quiet morning
I can't take the silence
because as soon as the quiet starts
the voices begin
they are deafening
your voice is on repeat
I toss and I turn
but I cannot shake the feeling of your body laying close to mine
tears stream down my face for no reason at all
it's been months
your gone so why are you still here?
our love is a ghost
my life has become a never ending haunting
an old home movie that runs on repeat
I've missed the quiet since the day I met you
in the darkest of moments I find myself dreaming
we never crosses lines at all
what a sick turn of events
our love turned to nightmares
and the dream is that
we never even existed

- you cut too deep

It would be unfair to allow you to move forward
as I'm stuck here in our memories
It would be a great unjustice
to allow your heart to be whole as mine remains shattered from your slippery hands
I meant what I said on that very first night
you'll never forget a girl like me
you see holding a girl with fire as a heart
keeps you warm but when it burns it's sure to leave a scar
I want you to know I won't let you forget me
I'll lace myself in every past memory
I'll connect my heart into every relationship you dare to hold
Maybe I should've warned you that girls like me have a bite louder than their bark and when we snarl
we mean business
If I were you I'd keep your eyes wide
because I solemnly swear
I'll never abandon you from sight
every corner you turn
every time you glance over your shoulder
the remains of a girl once loved by you will remain
I won't be easy to dust off your shoes
just remember my love
you were the man who dared
to love a girl like me
and it was your mistake to promise a forever
to a girl who would believe you

I secretly hope
on the long nights when it feels like the sun will never beam on your face again
that
you'll think of me softly
I pray you'll imagine me reaching for your fingertips
lacing them with my own
maybe you'll remember
me grazing your cheek with the soft part of my small hands
scooping away the tears with my fingertips
doing my best to take all your sadness into my own palms
or my quiet kisses on your delicate cheek
the soft whispers of " I love you"'s and "don't give up on me"'s
the words that you didn't hear with your ears
the words that traveled in a straight shot to the inner workings of your brilliant heart
I hope on these nights
you remember who loves you most in this world
who always will
I hope for the better part of forever, I'm there with you
reminding you someone out there wants the same things you do
My last hope, is believing
that I can still keep you safe
that I'm still your refuge
when the air turns bitter

1
You were my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first grown up moment
older, seemily sophisticated
you had this idea that the world was lucky to have you in it
a god complex like no other
and let me tell you, you had 15 year old me,
convinced
I felt lucky
I felt old and sophisticated
and although
you were just a bump in my road
I'm thankful I knew someone like you
I think of you from time to time
I remember you with giggles
and innocence
as well as with ice cream and tears
oh how sweet and naive a 15 year old can be
#2
You've always been my favorite.
stood tall, sweet
you thought I was the best thing that ever happened to you
I swear you would've tried to move those mountains
just to see me dance with a smile
you loved me with pure intentions
and a sparkle in your eye
I'm sorry I ruined that love story for you
you deserve a great love story more than any of us
to the first boy I ever loved,
it felt like magic. didn't it?
heart flutters and forehead kisses
faded all too quickly
I think of you from time to time
I hope you find the girl who holds your great love story in the palm of her hands
oh how sweet a first love can be
#3
I call you the lion in poems
you took whatever innocence I had left in my fragile frame
I never had seem evil with my own two eyes until I met yours
you gave me a pit in my stomach and a fear in my heart
you showed me some actions can never earn forgiveness
and some people are so ugly
they don't deserve love
I think of you from time to time
especially in the nightmares
I hope you shutter at the thought of my name
thanks for teaching me how to bring a power hungry man to his ******* knees
I won't forget that lesson
oh how sweet a corrupt man can be
#4
my muse
you have been the subject of my words since the day I laid eyes on you
brilliant, brave and bold
you are the root of any and all
of my inspiration
how could anyone not fall for you
no one ever warned me about the sad brown eyes
and the sulky smile
no one ever told me the greatest loves
make for the most epic heartbreaks
you are a wicked man my love
but if there's anything this heart of mine beats for
it's a troubled boy begging for a home
I let you in, no trouble at all
it's getting you out, thats been a little more difficult
I think of you all the time
days on end, minutes on high
my mind is polluted with the images you left for me to find
I hope you know,
my baby is you. till the end of time
oh how troubling a life saving love
can be

There is a pit that has made a home in my stomach
it's been living there, growing there
since the day you laid your hands on me
the day you slid your hands to places they had no right to be
the night you took advantage of the position
you knew you had
ever since then there are words that make my head foggy
and there are boys who can put me **** close to cardiac arrest
just by looking
for a little too long
you called it miscommunication
you called it regret
you called it asking for it
I call it assault
I call it waking up at 3 AM every morning
in a cold sweat, another nightmare
I call it scrubbing myself raw every night in the shower
trying to rid of the skin cells your fingers grazed
I call it jumping whenever my kind boy reaches for my hand
out of love
you are a man made of dirt
you are a lion
so why are you preying on butterflies
I don't know when I allowed you to tear off my wings but I am reclaiming them
today.

Lying on the edge of the world in the middle of your bed I swear I feel infinite. Baby, Please, can we stay like this forever? Looking in your eyes has me going crazy. I trace the freckles on your face and run my hands through the wet curls laying on your head. With tangled fingers, shimmered minds and glowing hearts. I never knew love could feel like this. Like the whole world stops spinning just so me and you can pause and dance. My life has begun to feel like a movie ever since I found my place on your arm. I can see the light leaks of old film just looking at your soft face. Oh love, I find myself having to refrain from taking you far away to an old hillside town, I don't mean to be selfish but oh god how I wish you were all mine. my brown eyed baby, no one will ever compare to the radiance you have shown this vacant soul. Amour Amour my darling.

Oh how you'll never know how much I miss you
I should have held you a little longer every night we shared
I should have snuck a bottle of your cologne to spray through all my clothes
I should have let you kiss me when we were fighting
I should have hugged you tighter
I should have hugged you tight
our ribs connected so we could never part.
I should have gone to war for you
that night
I should have turned you around
made you stay
Why'd you leave lover?
Now theres a permanent icy spot
on the left side of my bed
on the left side of my heart
& you my love
you were my right hand
all the better parts of me
are intertwined in my mess of loving you
no one comes close lover
no one comes close

On cold mornings
I always take a few minutes out of everyday to picture what it would feel like if you were still here
I imagine you laying next to me
holding my hand
kissing my forehead
on really cold mornings I swear I can still feel your touch
but when the minutes are up
I open my eyes
& you're there
& I'm here
its heartwrenching and horrendous
but that is the reality of this fairytale

one night you asked me if I remembered what it was like to be in love with you
I laughed to myself because
baby
how could I forget?
you standing there, hands in your pockets
the smile whenever you laid your eyes on me
the t-shirt you wore under your clothes, everyday,
because it was once your fathers
the scar behind your left ear
that appeared after fighting for your sister
How could I forget?
dancing barefoot on the cold kitchen tiles
laughing so hard we could feel it in our hearts
smoking in your car, blasting music
making future plans to run away
I knew then I had it all
I know now, forgetting will never be an option for us
How could I forget you?
I could've sworn you put the sun in the sky and the stars in my eyes
there's no forgetting a love like ours