A laptop light, a half eaten cereal bar, and a major suicidal tendency.

I haven’t left my room in three days.

The demons in my mind have escaped my body
and barricaded shut my doors and my heart.
I sit here staring at creatures that do not exist
crawling up my walls and laughing in the shadows.
The only sound is of sombre songs playing on
repeat, attempting to **** my sadness with tears,
and the scribbling and tearing and screaming of
pages as I scratch my soul onto them
covering my arms in blood and ink and tears
praying that eventually I will succeed,
and my pain will finally assent from my body
onto paper, and lay there eternally in long thin letters
that I can ****** into the void for all the other souls
begging for help at 3 in the morning to hear, and I will
finally be free, to sleep.

Up? Or down?

My body levitates between two worlds
As I stare at the blank blue that throws me
Off this earth.

In that moment I am nothing, and everything,
And as I am suspended in time my
Mind is suddenly aware.

Aware of the rustling white noise that
Lies within silence, which hides the many
Voices of the beyond.

I can hear them now, they’re getting louder
But I know you can’t, so you ask me if
I'm ok; of course I am.

I am aware of their unreality  but
Still, I am wary not to let them know
That *I know they are there.

So I return to the floating ocean
Above, or was it below, me and am
Once again, drifting.

________

I have a knife
It can sculpt death
Can slash a pulse
Can slit a neck

I have a knife
It can score an anger
Can bring life a real danger
Can cause cursed that stays forever

I have a knife
It can curve peace
Can tear an anger
Can split a fear

I have a knife
It can draw love
Can mark caress in the blood
Can blade hate into a hug

I have a knife
It has an eraser
It can write an emotion to feel
For my knife .... was a pencil...


Written: August 2, 2014 @ 9:00 am

Mysterious Aries

I hope you can still taste me on your lips and feel me on your fingertips,
Forgive me for not seeing how you could fall out of love quicker than a coin flips,
For me it was as real as feeling your hand against my face,
But I guess within your arms was simply not my place,
We knowingly had but numbered set of days,
To set our emotions on fire before going our separate ways,
And now that I know how it feels to everyday miss you,
I hope you also wish you had not bid adieu.

Face turning blue

What are you gonna do?

Breath and heart stopping
Now Look at you

Everything you live for is now gone

And everyone who loved you will see you

For the ******* that you are.

There was this season for many reason
A failed ambition or bad decision
Too much subtraction, no single addition
Pictures of low resolution, everything in demotion
But surely... Life must go on...

Days of self damnation because of wrong position
Flowers  that need attention for admiration
Head that was full of delusions that needs calibration
Victims of disqualification without any consolation
But definitely... Life must go on...

Minutes of demoralization, hours of depression
Roads of devastation no clear relocation
Eyes shed in repetition because of hard reason
Goodbyes to all special persons for their final destination
But simply.... Life must go on.....

Written: October 23, 2014 at 11:35 PM

__________

To forged a smile everyday

And joined the crowd and be okay

My face tattooed the image of clown

To hide a man who's so feeling down

__________

He laughed but he cried
A clown whose real eyes was dried
A mascot who always tells a joke
But how he wished that his neck be choke

She laughed but she cried
A lady whose heart was ripped
At daytime life of her persist
But at night she wanted to cut her wrist

He laughed but he cried
A boy whose been deeply bullied
A smirking kid at home
The saddest child when he's alone

He laughed but he cried
A writer that has a lot of pride
To his readers he play and giggles
But his life is full wiggles

They laughed but they cried
They are lonely but they smiled



Written: October 3, 2014 @ 9:30 PM
Mysterious Aries