I miss her
And all the things she didn't know
And the mountains
Covered in the snow
I miss the way she stood
I miss the way she danced
How she could loose herself
Easily in a trance
I miss the way she cried
On the floor at night
Waiting for them to tell her
Being broken was alright
I miss her kaleidoscope hair
A secret screamed out loud
Something she was ashamed of
While saying she was proud
I miss the shy smiles
Hidden behind books
And the ones he gave back
When she caught his look
I miss her
And all the things she didn't know
And the mountains
Covered in the snow

I hate the word love
I hate how it's used
Tied to lust
Tied to abuse

I hate the word love
I hate how it's used
Tied to pain
Tied to you

I want to be your light
       You aren't my light, you are the electricity that turns me on
I want to pretend that I can
       You don't have to pretend, I love you as you are, won't have you
          any other way
But
       So
I can't shine like your night sky
       You might not shine like stars but you are the only thing I see
I can't even fake a smile
       *You don't have to fake a smile, just your hand in mine is all I need

I remember learning Augustana's Boston
Because you made my keys alive with it
As Luck ran about your legs
Luck died and we did too, in a way

I am the undead, and you are the ghost
In wisps you appear, in whispers you speak
You haunt in place of love

I prefer to devour hearts
I cry out for help, but no one can hear me
My lips are sown shut but they forgot my eyes

I've forgotten how to play Boston
So I guess that means you won't
                           Come home

HOW DARE YOU YOU *******
WHO ARE YOU TO HAVE FEELINGS

He likes to pull out his heart from time time to time
He looks at it and weeps as it beats silent and the world turns
He kicks me when I'm down leaving calico purple patches
He tries to rip apart the one who brought him here
But for us both he mostly settles for the words
He doesn't care until we wrestle his heart out of him
Then he ******* cries like he's sensitive

GROW THE HELL UP
THE REST OF US HAVE

The Trial Run is trying to separate herself from the intoxications
brought by men but stumbles down the sidewalk home...
I stopped pounding my words into his back because
he doesn't have time to be broken by me anymore...
The Elder creates his faux world because
everyone but me has exiled him out of the real one...
The Proper splits and I watch it happen to him as it happened to me,
still happens, angels and demons we hide inside...
The Child runs after the **** ups seeing rainbows
but devoid of color because he think's that's what age means...

There is nothing to do here
But dress in black
Black and leather
And walk around in the dark
Bumming cigarettes and love
Off of people
You pretend not to know

Shh, shh, shh,
Shut down.

Ask him how well
It worked out
When we broke up,
Then he wanted me back.

How he showed up crying.
He's the only other one
I've ever called my Polaris,
And he called me his Firefly.

Late nights in my basement,
Giggling quiet because
My parents didn't know.

Ask him about
When I chose him
Over my Bird,
And he felt like air.

Ask him about
When he took it
Too far,
And why I don't wear
Miniskirts anymore.

Ask him about Valentines,
And why his new girlfriend
Hates me.

Ask him
What I'm like
When I lose
Predictability...

please don't forget to remember me hunny
when I am gone and can't hurt anymore
when I at last go and my blood can no longer flow
I'm so empty I'm amazed I can bleed
let me fade, fade away now
just stop breathing
I'm so hurt, afraid of everyone leaving
let me laugh, laugh hard
like it's the only thing I have left
because this moment -- this is it
and I'll be ****** if I let it go
if I let my sorrow show
so I'll pretend enough to
make them believe
this is me
this is me
or at least who I was, back when I was happy