Do you miss her
The Hell's Mistress I used to be
Pretty smiles
Prettier lies

******* you with my eyes
Skinning you with my words
I miss the power that came
In lying to everyone
This angelic facade is suffocating
I miss slipping off the mask
And slipping into your head
Making you my puppet
Then getting bored
And making you wish you were dead
Shoving my knife in your back
When you came
Walking into my life like it was yours
Following my breadcrumbs
Swallowing them whole
Who would have thought
You can hide arsenic so well
With just a hint of sugar
And a short enough skirt

Do you miss her
The Black Widow in my web
Eating you alive
To fill the void inside

You burned me  
We smelled like Mary and Jane
I laughed hard
Dug my nails in deep
As I writhed in pain  

I was too quiet
But I screamed too loud  
You didn't care
We were like fvcking kings    
Living in a cloud

You tied me up  
So I could stay resting in bed
Lied to me
Betrayed by a kiss too is how  
Jesus ended up dead

It's like when you hear a song playing on gas station speakers at 1:30 in the morning and you swear you know it even though it is as foreign as wearing your left shoe on your right foot

It's like starting over a game to see if you get a new ending or find a new easter egg except you haven't started over and you're still staring at the credits

It's like being on a plane for your first flight and having the engine give out when you've just left the runway and never flying again

It's like holding onto a candlestick while burning liquid wax spills over scalding each of your fingers but the fame is too beautiful to put out

It's like being neck deep in the ocean with the spray coating your face and being unable to discern if the salt you taste on your lips is from your own tears or the waves threatening to drown you

It's like always falling asleep before sunset and never seeing the moon making you believe she was never real in the first place and everyone just wants you to look foolish

you                                      
made                            
me                        
beg                
for          
you  
...
and
you    
walked 
away

I feel like my heart is breaking more than it ever has
And I'm afraid somehow I'll forget you
And I won't be able to fix it
And I don't know how to fix this
I was so foolish
But I don't want a do over
Because then it will really be over
Or it won't have ever started
Is it really better to have loved and lost
How many breaks can a heart take
Shattering shouldn't be a repeatable phenomenon
But with you it is
Everything with you destroys me
I am utterly demolished
And it is so lovely to be wrecked by you
I just hope you never stop bringing me pain
Because the day I stop hurting
Will be the day I know I've died