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Cheighny Dec 2017
Page One



I'm not sure what's worse--
                  Losing my mind
              or
Losing you

Either way,
I'm no longer myself.
What a
beautiful
misery to
need you
so...

Fervently.
Cheighny Dec 2017
Chances are we'll never stick.
Not like glue.
Not like anything you
Could hope for.
I'm not a psychic
But if I were
I'd tell you everything
You wanted to hear
And nothing more.
Because you come first;
Always and forever.
That's not to say
That I'd have it any other way
But it would be nice
If anyone knew
What I actually felt
For you and only you.
But again...
That's only what I
Want to hear.
And this was never about me.
Only what I wished
For us to one day be...
But as each day,
Week
Month
Year
Passes, you begin to wonder;
Will that day ever really come?
Or am I ****** to a lifetime,
An eternity of praying for you?
Fingers crossed
That those promises made
Will be kept?
...
And if not...
I'll look into my crystal vision
And I'll tell you what you want
Because it's your happiness or mine
And as I've said before
I choose yours
Every time.
Cheighny Nov 2017
I am about love

So are you, so naturally

We found each other
Cheighny Nov 2017
I love it here
The dark pressing in on our car
Your smile in the driver’s side
Breakdowns never felt so lovely
I never thought I’d love the road so much
Even more than I did before
Crossed legs and holding hands
Opioid laughs and careless daydreams
Wind rushing like our bloodstream
Hazards on and headlights flicker
We’re free,
Just like we always wanted to be
No longer too young
We’re free
Free
Cheighny Nov 2017
I don’t love him
But oh, does it feel nice to be loved
To feel the warmth in his arms
The beating of his heart
It’s killing me to feel this way
Because I miss your love
Miss the smiles you gave me
The way you made me sing
But when you can’t love unconditionally
Why bother at all?
I don’t love him
Like I love you
Don’t want to be with him
Like you
But he doesn’t care about being with me
Being seen holding hands
He just wants to love me
And what’s so wrong with that?
He’s caring and kind
Things you always were to me
But the shadows that we hide in
Are screaming at me
I just want to be with you
Happy and alone
But that’s so ******* hard
When you refuse to let it show
Cheighny Nov 2017
It’s nights like this
Hyped up on the high
Of post-sadness
And you

My music running laps in my brain
You keep me up, though
You make me like this
I get you tomorrow
To hug you
See you
Maybe even kiss you
But probably not

I do not want to go to sleep
Because it ends this
Feeling of euphoric silence
Because the music in my head
Is so blissful

I don’t know really
Am I sad!
Happy?
Alone.
Who knows
I do not

I should close my eyes
And let this go
And give into it all
But I am stubborn
I need this darkness
A lamp as this is too bright for me

I miss you
Now I sound insane
As if I didn’t before
Oh well
Goodnight nobody
Cheighny Nov 2017
No matter how many times you tell me you love me,

I’m never going to believe you;

Because how could you,

A specimen of imperfect perfection,

Ever adore a mess like me?
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