I used to think I was different
special
weird
but I'm not
I read and paint
I sew and write poetry
I look after little kids
and I love
I'm a gay 15 year old with a girlfriend
I watch anime and read fanfic
I roleplay and cosplay
but so do my friends I am just like them
I'm not different
I am a cookie cutter
just like everybody else
and after telling myself I was weird for 15 years
its hard to be normal
I don't know what to do
I want to be different
but I'm not

I'm naked sitting on my bed
Wrapped in an old leather jacket
Bad thoughts running through my head
I lay there and think **** it
Maybe I'm not ment for this planet
So I let the tears frame my face
My body as cold as granite
As I quietly slip into empty space

I woke up with a thirst for blood

                  I woke up wanting to see that flash of silver

Followed by the beading red

                  I woke up with a thirst for my blood

If I give in I'll hurt you

                   I'm sorry I hurt you

Cut me open.

Remove the demons from me.

I don't want to be their friend anymore.

By seven I knew I was different

By eight I thought I was weird

By nine I thought I was fat

By ten I thought I was ugly

By eleven I started to hate myself

By twelve I thought I shouldn't exist

By thirteen I wanted to die

By fourteen I began to selfharm

By fifteen I planned my death

By sixteen I was long gone

I will rip my veins apart
and then my mind will be at peace
for a while

My wrist will pour blood
I need it to bleed
or bead

I am counting the seconds
till this can happen
5..4..3..2..1..

I am now content
with the results
but I'm getting dizzy

I can hear sirens
the sound is getting stronger
is it coming for me?


(lcb)