loneliness is disquieting
it is an isolated battle
between you and the world
yet all you see
is a crowd
full of uninterested people
unaware of your war

i told you not to kiss me
because your blood was full of alcohol,
and you couldn't think straight.

i told you not to kiss me
because I was intoxicated with feelings
and I wanted to kiss you as well.

i told you not to kiss me
but you whispered things.
and we got closer,
so close, that for a second,
i thought we were a single person

i told you not to kiss me
because when our lips met
and our hands touched
there was no other place that felt like home,
than you

and now your kiss is inked in my bones,
and my lips carry your name.

i told you not to kiss me.

I was always more of an autumn girl, there was something so poetic about watching the leaves fall, maybe that's why I always hated spring. But then you appeared, on that hot april night. So full of leaves. You told me I was an unbloomed flower. So you water me with laughs and sweet words, in a couple of days I started blooming. And then I understood how wonderful spring was.
I now see flowers so differently and with so much respect, because it is so hard to bloom in the time we live in, we are so full of toxic people and words that stick to us like poison ivy, yet you made it look so easy for me.
you told me that I should bloom like a wildflower, no matter the place, no matter the season, no matter the circumstances, you have the ability to brighten up someone's path.

(b.c.)

there was no air in the room,
but somehow,
he made her breathe
                 (b.c)

it’s so frustrating because i know you wanted to be with me, on those days you drove almost an hour each way to see me and you kissed me so often and held me so tight and always pulled me closer and i could feel your eyes on me when i wasn’t looking, and we spent day after day like this, just being together and pretending that time could stand still, but at the same time, i feel like it was all just something for you to do while you were home, even though you deny it. i remember starting to tear up one afternoon with my head on your chest while you slept, because i knew it was just a matter of time till this was just a memory. i can’t picture you actually missing me, i can’t imagine you actually wishing i hadn’t said i was done with grey and in between. i feel like i’m so insignificant to you. like you have no feelings, like you couldn’t care less, this is just life, people come and go. and i know that, i know this is just life, and that people come and go, but it hurts that it’d never cross your mind to ask me to stay, that i was fun while i lasted, that you never wanted to make me yours. i’ll fade soon. i want to matter more to you. you’re a thinker, i’m a feeler, you hate that i’m so black and white. but i’m selfish and i want 3am texts that you can’t stop thinking about me and that you need to see me again soon. but that’s not who you are. and it’s unfair of me to want you to feel that way when you don’t. and it’s really okay, because if i extended my hand to you and you took it, i don’t think we would’ve gotten very far anyway. i loved being so close to you, but i’m excited to hold someone’s hand who doesn’t want to let go, to kiss someone who wants to kiss me forever, to not be anticipating an inevitable end, to be able to trust someone fully with my heart, to have someone that wants to hold it. and i don’t need that, i don’t need someone, i don’t need anyone. but if one day it’s what’s meant to be, i’ll let it be. i don’t want to be careless with my heart again. i don’t know why things happen the way they do, and i don’t regret you for a second, and i still think the world of you, but i’m too emotional and i fall too deep to give that much of myself again to someone who never asked for any of it in the first place.

even though the air wasn’t real,
you made it feel as if I was breathing.

you left words that felt like glass,
but they were plastic.

I still wonder why would you make me feel
like gold,
when for you I was just something
that  shined.

an eclipse,
a magical yet temporal event,
where the sun and the moon collide,
but it is temporal,
it lasts long enough for them
to realize they do not
belong together.
and we were an eclipse;
you were the sun,
and I was the moon,
when we collided
we created art
                            but
                           ­           we
                                              we­re
                                                       temporal

                                                     ­                        (b.c.)