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Bluedyedroses May 2015
Put me to sleep

Let my
                                inner
thoughts rest.

   I'm getting to the
                                point
of no return

My demons are
                                being
put to the test.

I need to get  
                               out
of the world

Even for a
                      moment
before sunrise,

   A breath of  
                      freedom
in the air

    But it's  just a dream.. Wow

What a surprise.
Bluedyedroses May 2015
"You like that?"
I breathe into his ear
He moans in ecstasy,
has nothing to fear
The pleasure's all mine sir
For I can ****** you, make you forget her
It's the way I move you, touch you, feel you, it can't be described
It's something you don't want to lose,
If you did you would die
Not in truth just a little inside
You would crave it, want it, need it
And it always feels right
You don't need gin, whisky, ***** or ***
Just let me push you to the bed
And pleasure you to kingdom come
Bluedyedroses May 2015
The dust collecting on the window sill,
Makes me think of time
The days and hours accumulating,
It was the most dangerous crime

I had you warned but you didn't stray,
So I can't be put at fault
Starting to become someone else,
Routine every day like some type of cult

Like a sunset everything must end,
Even though we adore the mystical beauty
Sitting here lost in my words and actions,
While you were lost paying Call Of Duty

More days passed with nothing but anger,
Your fists showed exactly how you felt
Even if they weren't directed at me,
I had to pick up the cards after they were dealt

So many tears, shouting, and lies
But you always got your fill
Anything you needed I was right there
Well...not anymore, because I dusted my window sill.
Bluedyedroses May 2015
I saw how you glanced, looked, then stared
You wanted her,
But I maintained your attention
Tables turn and you want me
But ******* I'm paying no attention
I wanted, thought about and craved none other than him. I did then and I still do...
Physical things are what we are
Too bad I lost both of you.
Bluedyedroses May 2015
Slide your hand up my thigh
You're making me blush.
Just the tips of your fingers
Why do they call it a "crush"?
Every inch you move over
I cant take much more
Lying under warm covers
And your scent, i adore
I'm losing myself
And i know you enjoy this
If I call you Master,
The night ends in bliss
Bluedyedroses May 2015
You can smell the alcohol off my breath
The burn is soothing,
This life leading to an unforgettable death
The beat of the drum gets me moving,
Going around the clock on **** and cigarettes
Waiting for a surprise,
"What did I do with my phone?" She forgets,
What will tonight bring? Will she have to tell more lies?
Stale smoke never lingers
Because she clears the bowl,
Hoping for the rush to flow to her fingers
Way up in the sky on could9, ten bucks is the gateway tole
Bluedyedroses May 2015
"Are you okay?"

I loath the question

"Why yes I am"

It's easy to say, but I'm pretending to be

So please don't interrupt my performance.

I'm not being quiet if I have nothing to say

Should be glad I withhold half the things I do anyway

But they ask me all the time, every minute of every day!

But I'm like.. **** it

Nothing's different, it's all the same, same, same.
Hats off to the ones who make the change
Bluedyedroses May 2015
There's destruction in the air..
Coming from my fingertips and landing on a blade
Only, the blade is a pill, and no it's not just one
10, 9, 8
Just sit and wait
7, 6, 5
**** I'm still alive
4, 3, 2
Guess I won't be making this one through
Over the lips and through the gums, look out stomach, here it comes!
Bluedyedroses May 2015
After all this time you confessed
Your true feelings you kept locked away as if they made you possessed

Tell me how I am supposed to feel?
I had this shattered perception of myself
But honestly speaking you're making it heal.

You can tell me anything you want
Who the **** am I to judge?
Nothing will make the feelings I've developed move an inch
Nope, they won't budge.

I just hope your opinion of me didn't fly off the tower
Everyone loses their mind in love, it makes them extremely bitter or sour

When I said everything will be sweet and safe
You had a doubt in play
But with you I feel trust and safety
I have no fear, and just live for that day
Bluedyedroses May 2015
A woman is most vulnerable when her nail polish is drying

Even then..

She can still pull a trigger.
Quote I read a long time ago
Bluedyedroses May 2015
And she said to him
Fate, is not what we were
Or what we have become
It is where we are going

He looked down at his shoes
Shifted his weight
Looked up at her longingly
And his eyes were saddened

He asked where she was going
She couldn't say
Because of the answer
And what he wanted to hear

Both were completely different
Bluedyedroses May 2015
It drives me ******* crazy
When I don't know what to say
More so even
When you look at me that way

How my mind aches
When I don't know what you're thinking
All I ask for is a word of release
To keep me from all this sinking

Black hole, quicksand, however you put it
There's no limit to the tracks that my mind can run
Every second of every minute

Say something! Do something!
I'm just idly standing
Then there it is again, that look
And I'm not reprimanding
Bluedyedroses Jun 2015
Just go, you clearly don't know what you want from me
Just leave, no words or thoughts like it's so ******* easy
Just now I thought something could finally happen
Just stupid old me for giving in after a bottle of Kracken..

Now I can't, I don't know who you are
Now I want and miss how you could take me so far
Now  I just feel empty and so ******* alone
Now I sit and wonder why you couldn't just pick up your phone..
Bluedyedroses May 2015
I can't remember
She said with a frown
The days are so blurry
Can't tell you what happens now

I don't remember
She said with a giggle
The days have faded
She is stuck in the middle

I want to remember
She said, eyes full of tears
The years now are haunting her
All night her dreams are full of her fears

Its all coming back, in pieces and fragments
Only now, the days are too small
She wonders silently
Am I truly capable of loving anyone at all?
Bluedyedroses May 2015
"'Mom, I'm tired.."
I said, as I walked slowly towards her
My arms weighing me down
Hanging by my sides, T-shirt no sweater

"Go take a nap sweetheart"
She replied in a sweet, soothing tone
Wish I had said something more
Cause where I'm going, there isn't a phone..

I've withered and got down to my goal
It's a shame more people didn't realize,
No one took it serious enough
I never felt like I was the right size

I couldn't feel anymore neither happiness nor pain
If this is what it took then I'm glad the job is done
I loved you all so much so please forgive me
But I think this nap will be my last one
If my illness takes me before I'm ready to go, at least someone somewhere out there will know

— The End —