I've given real life
Forty plus years of my time
I'd rather just exist
In an altered state of mind

©2024

Of course I went and messed up again
That's how everything for me comes to an end
What did I think was truly going to happen?
Especially when
My shoulder demon is my only friend
I can not even comprehend how it all began
Was I destined to be a heathen?
If we have to go back to the beginin'
Just leave it there and not mess with poison
I've been here before again and again
It's a trend that might hypothetically completely break me
Regardless of how well I can bend
They can't break the broken

©2024

Don't have to acknowledge the sty
When we're all blind from an eye for an eye
~•§•~
There's a broken heart in every lie
A loose thread in every tie
~•§•~
Look and you'll find failure in every try
The hardest question proposed or answered is,
"Why?"
~•§•~
Why does what I apply
End up needing an alibi?
~•§•~
Ignore those that only supply
Some self serving reply
~•§•~
Life is something you can't defy
Walk your own path and fry
~•§•~
Don't worry if you can't fly
Only gods live in the sky
~•§•~
They're probably getting high
Just to f*cking get by
~•§•~
Ghosts can still cry
But the dead inside can't seem to die

©2024

I cry in the rain
So the tears look the same
While blurring the stain
Helping to hide the shame
From the masculinity
Attached to my name
Who's to blame?
Society?
Maybe,
But it just adds to the pain
That follows the grain
Of this hardened exterior
I can no longer maintain

©2024

"How can she be so awful
Then walk around almost proud?"
I say to myself but out loud
While the only thing around
Is this lingering black cloud
So did I even make a sound?

©2024

Can't hide the rigors
Of anxiety and fears
Even knowing what it harbors
Can't cloak their effects from mirrors
It figures
Such a force can disfigure figures
Right under the skin it lingers
The worst possible time is when it appears
Rears up to rip down the facade and veneers
The you you knew is what it devourers
What good are middle fingers,
When only directed at yourself?
For now,
I guess,
I'll have to put that question on the shelf

©2024

The only thing one tends to see
Is the person I don't want to be
Silly me
Obviously
The fruit has spoiled on this tree
Despite me
Or in spite of me
I keep coming back but leave empty
Mostly disappointment only
Ignoring the warning from the Canary
I can't stand steady
Amongst a broken levee
I don't have the energy
To be angry
Or for that matter, happy
Both weigh far too heavy
Forced to take a knee
Taken from me
Is the thought of ever being free
Of me
Not even a possible maybe
My full name and bio in permanent ink on generic stationary
There's no further in front of me
That's what's really scary
Trust me

©2024