I see brittle coffers
offering arms, legs,
and eyes—

palms, flesh,
and brittle bone—

trading sky
for a sliver of moon,

measuring heartache
on rusted scales,
trying to balance
what’s already broken.

While those behind
windows and curtains
and silence

take quiet note
of what you become
with time.

there's nothing but silence-
or maybe,
silence and nothing.

is there a way to feed on the silence,
if not-
would i be hungry forever ?
i seek solitude in disguise,
served in solace-
with a hint of serenity in embers.

but i am sure,
it must feel alone-
for we haven't seen each other
in a while.

it's so exhausting to walk so many miles.
only to find scars and a barren land,
i hope someday i would understand,
why i see a man-
when i stare at the night sky.

the time swept the tides,
and now i see no moon-light.
only street-lights grace this oasis -

made of star-dust,
but a heaven no more.

pillars of concrete emotions,
rise through the air.
who ate the sky, i wonder,
who could ever dare ?

it's not yet five in the morning,
but it feels so close.

i left my dreams to die, again-
and yet i feel no remorse.

there's nothing but silence-
or maybe,
silence and nothing,

but i still breathe,
and then some more.

alone and cold
on a warm summer day
bleeding my ever breeding thoughts

caught in a storm
a thousand miles away from home

breaking down
every brick and stone

for there are no windows
here in this room
where the gloom blooms
another melancholic day

far away from reality
in midst of a whisper

dying every so slowly
as the cells in my brain wither

waiting for a winter
to bring me back to
the room temperature

so i can shed my skin
and paint myself with ink
on these empty pages of a story
that i'll never write

night after night
just turning the pages

bright lights and confused
pretending to die with every breath

with monsters in my head
and poison mixed in my soul

reading words
of those other poets
that'll never know of my name

such a shame
for together we could've
completed each other

without ever saying a word.

I'm aware of what isn't, I'm still a peasant, memory's not pleasant,
my brain's not present, I'm in the presence of another's essence,
I'm here with a vengeance, on my mother's breath, I pray for my father's death,

I'm not here for lessons, I'm not here to listen, I'm here with a vision, no goal but on a mission,
lost my soul and now I don't have the heart take make a decision,
the thing about love is that it cuts with precision, if you hate enough you can join the legion,

take a revision, come now, take a test, all the maths in your head, add all the mad in your head, all the sad in your mind filled with education,
the time holds still, you'd rather be blind, not par taking in the anticipation, participating, precipitating without a reason,

you change colours every season, collecting the wreck, wrecking the tech, rolling the tapes until the ends connect, aware what is, but still missing what isn't,

if somebody tried to break your neck, would you help if it was in a way that is considered to be decent ?,
if it was pleasant, would you be the peasant that cries in the absence of his kings presence, isn't that religion ?,


I see, I feel, as if I'm not seeing the real picture, all these scriptures and spiritual teachers whisper, the same, it's now in fashion, to have a passion, to be insane.

if I'm ever back in the region, I'll send a message through the pigeons, a safe passage for the superstition, last page reserved for the delusions, ask hate, if it means the same if you create illusions,

you're prolly havin' a fun time if you're not part of the solution, **** this world, it's just seven continents and one ocean, full of walls, doors that never open,

wage a war but don't show any emotions,
don't heal if it's broken, it's just awoken,
I'm in a commotion, with all these monuments inside of me full of torment, I'm done with answers I don't ever want to question, I'm done with erosion, my veins are full of poison,

I'm aware of what isn't, I'm still a peasant, memory's not pleasant, my brain's not present, I'm in the presence of another's essence, I'm here with a vengeance, on my mother's breath, I pray for my father's death,

I'm not here for lessons, I'm not here to listen, no, I'm not really here to be fed and see. I'm here for the kingdom, when I'm dreaming in my bed, I'm in a prison, talking free, I'm prolly what Polybius was envisioned to be, a random mathematical equation,

something for everyone to see, something for everyone to feel,
anything for anybody who's somebody, but not everybody is free enough to see what i see, in my prison, where i got past the last season, after killing me, after filling me with theories those are prolly my only, I'm so lonely, even in my thoughts, caught in my rot, with nobody to free, you see I killed myself a long time ago, I don't know who I am anymore, before I was sure and now not anymore, I have less and I want more, cashless but I want the store, faithless but I'm *******, so hard to explore, and sooner than later after I explode, I'll still be a stranger prolly a Polybius export, Polybius in my blood, strange things and places I implore, stop wearing those faces, I'm weird enough in my own, I don't want you to own my lore, I'm prolly a Polybius, impervious to imagination, obviously what's obvious isn't how it's all supposed to be, innocence is so vicious, infectious, prolly oblivious, it's my Polybius, so ?

it's a mad world and it grows, it glows in the dark, it doesn't matter how far you run, who you are , how far you are, what you've done,  it won't ask, it's prolly Polybius, no ?

rest with me on
the rainbow

come with me
to the sun

i see you alone
by the window

waiting for us
to get young

we'll make love
in the meadow

burn everything
that hasn't come

i see you staring
into the shadows

waiting for one
of us to return

In this dark and demoralising time
Herds of sheep walk along in a line
Deaf and numb reeling in despair
Look at the pawn shops , they've sold their minds
Instead buying a propaganda of lies
Too blind to see , too dumb to realise
They are the Soldiers of faith
The army of hypocrite eyes
And they march on , left and right
Straight to the moon
In the shadows they hide , as they walk to the doom
Puppets in the hands of the lords
Rage and fury are the new gods
As they open their infant mouth in their names
As they bestow their misguided enlightenment
To be a part of this game
They are filled with words and a thousand sentences
They feed on the present and forget the consequences
And leave their caves only in the time of unification
A part madness , a part hallucinations
And they march on and oh they march on
The soldiers of fate , the army of hypocrite eyes
Straight for the moon
And not even one stands up to steer them of the inevitable doom...

sun in the sky you're a lie
you're not really there
fire cannot fly

it's all a lie
made for me
bought for us
to love
and make idols in sand

of forests and man
animals and insects

it tastes so bland
but the flavour inflicts
and colour infects

my will to understand
everything complex

but not the way
you would imagine

my mind
has never been in fashion

it's still wrecked


there's no mirror
and nothing would reflect

no cause or effect
everything blank

in weird shapes and sizes
planned to forget


the sun rises,


so many things
with so many vices

it's so hollow
and we still buy it

we will, and find it
to remind the scientists


this world is more than science's
concrete and the blind kids

children of the millennium
with nothing to free

nine to five, five to nine
no questions for thee

stuck in a mind
with no one to find
in an endless sea

the sun is a lie
it cannot fly

just close your eye's
and see

nothing comes
to mind—
only years
long gone

through snow
and rain
in summer’s fire
and winter’s hush

laughter echoed
tears fell
mountains stood still

seas we crossed
films we lived
and all our
innocence

now just stories
letters
memories

how deeply we yearn
for what we
already hold

i'm in a war zone, with rage in my bones, with stick and stones, so sick and tired of the ones gone,
i feel so alone, on my own, with brick and fire, building myself a safe haven,
where i won't be mistaken, for mistakes and scratched lines,
i'm too attached to my mind, i don't see the outline, I don't care for time,
it's just a needle going back and forth, and before you tell me I'll grow old,
i'm already dead, and I know you already know,
if somebody cut open your head, it'll be as ugly as mine,
if somebody cut open your heart, it'll be as cold as mine,
this world taught us we'll be fine, it'll rip us apart before we ever see the shine, sun-shine

there's sun to shine,
in sun shine,
there's nothing to be afraid of,
you see them lying,
you see them crying,
you see them be lost,
oh, you see them crying,
you see, there's only one kind,
the one nobody minds,
there's only one sun to shine,
in sun shine-
there's nothing to be afraid of,
nobody's dying,
everything will be fine,
act surprised, they don't know
what you are made of.

and I'm not the king, oh no,
I'm not the slave,
I don't have the comfort of knowing,
I'm just growing old,
so rotten and cold, maybe it's forgotten,
and I am back in autumn,

so hold onto this torch for me,
and put me on fire if someday I do not wake, that's why I put my voice on tapes,
I don't have a choice, there's only noise
and it does not fade,
put me on fire if I do not break,
if I do not wake, if I do not hate,
put me on fire if I do not fade.


let's talk, just you and me, let's talk-
just you and see, let's take a walk,
count, one, two, three and down,
one for free, drown for thee,
there's nobody else,
who has seen the hell, you claim to be
handful of scars and nothing else to see,
mindful, any day could be your last,
don't ask too many questions,
there's no need for emotions,
there's no need to bleed on vacations,
don't worry about annihilation, for the duration-
sorry, but only the man with gold deserves standing ovation,
and you can't get in, all the tickets sold,
this place is wicked,
the face is sick and wet,
with all those tears and years it was fed lies, they say in heaven nobody dies and everybody is happy,
and anybody who's anybody gets what they like, rich folks,
with their fancy hair and dyes,
ugly teeth, can't you see,
they are as empty as you and I,
it's all the same, and we shouldn't take no name,
we don't know what's sane anymore, we act surprised,
all we do is write stories and complaint, maybe we're all the same,
maybe it's just one huge game, there are a few but not many who can tame,
that beast inside of us, full of love, don't mention the stuff in your veins,
put things in motion, and everybody is now chasing erosion, like some form of poison, pacing up and down in their minds,
inside, in oceans,
outside there are these walls,
can't be broken,
there are no doors, so, therefore
there's nothing to open,
I'm just awoken, and maybe I'll go
back to sleep,
sing for me, dream, scream for me,
grin for me, take the smoke in for me,
choke on your thoughts,
caught up in your rot,
you ought to be ashamed you see, doing things your mamma, did not
want to see, tell me,
is this what they wanted you to be ? but **** them right ?
they don't see what you can see,
they cannot hear what you wear, they cannot
feel what you feel,
so, steal away all their time, don't mind,
they were never the equation, and you were never patient, they are ancient,
that's how you were raised, the weaker gets eaten up by the invasions,
nobody is anybody just names on a page,
this world is nothing, it's everything, it's a cage-
and I'm not the king, oh no,
I'm not the slave, I don't have the comfort of knowing,
I'm just growing old, so rotten and cold, maybe it's forgotten, I'm back in autumn, so hold this torch for me,
and put me on fire if someday I do not wake, that's why I put my voice on tapes,
I don't have a choice, there's only noise
and it does not fade,
put me on fire if I do not break,
if I do not wake, if I do not hate,
put me on fire if I do not fade.

across the mountains and high seas
i want to travel as far as the moon can see
and still a little more to numb my thirst
as far above the sun as below the dusk

until the night howls and winter combusts
all around the spring singing of hurt
until the autumn grows loud enough to rust
until the day burns and stars submerge

wandering down the ways uphill a bliss
where mermaids drown and the gods sit
somewhere far where the flowers hiss
and all the pieces are where they fit

there where the clowns cry and live
from nowhere to across all the towns

carrying not an ounce of pain or a crown
in temples of Angkor with nothing to give

at the end of a rainbow and rain profound
the hollow windows and barren grounds
from rotten whispers and forgotten blitz
where demons prowl and angels ****

very depth of hell and under the ground
i'll travel as deep as a melancholic sound
under my skin crawling all the way down
the thunder and my sins all in a 'round

where the lights are dim and bound
with my plastic grin and elastic faith

down the road where none can be found
i'll wait there and sin with all my hate

so come for me before i go to waste
so come for me before it gets too late

so come for me before i close the gates
so come for me and come with a blade

so come for me before i fade,
so come for me before i name my price
so come for me before i wake,
so come for me before i take my life.

I have one brain
one heart
two eyes
to see my path
and once again
I am,
falling apart.

counting my tears
until I'm free
abiding by my years
as the clock strikes three
bringing the hammer down
on my time
if I make it till four
I would live more than
I ever intended to be
I cannot see
if I'm still alive
been like this
since i was five
maybe i have died
I do not know anymore,
and it's all just a dream, a lie,
I cannot do the maths anymore.



I am afraid of
the man in the mirror
there's a strange
silence to it
this place is different
there's no sun rise at six
no tomorrow that exists
and by seven
it will be night once again.

if I'm not awake
by eight
don't bother ever again
I won't be running late
cats have nine lives
so cruel for them


ten.

somebody save me,
have me; love me;
tell me i'm living for something,

hold me, unfold me;
it's cold and lonely
by myself; tell somebody
to solve me, dissolve me
into pieces and find me
before i make a castle with
no doors or windows,

inhale walls and fences,
to fail my days for empty nights,

to sail on sand, in search
of an ocean, that bled
when i pulled out my broken heart;

take me and give me up
to the waves, as i age;
before any realisation,

give me a page and let me
be lost at the sea,
miles away from any
civilization.

Man made religion and now religion makes a man
Man controlled religion and now religion controls a man
They say religion unites when it only separates
It preaches peace only to render us desperate
It teaches us to be kind , to love , to do good everyday
And all we ever learned is to destroy And hate
man killed religion now religion kills the man

melancholy sits on the
pavement, on a cold autumn day.
enjoying the music of a
thunderstorm, and screaming.

dreaming about the winter
yet to come, become grey.

submerged in the tunes
of a dark morning that is seeding,
beyond what any words can
convey or design.

watching the elements
of the sky growing and leaving.

how silently this picturesque
of almost nothing,
captures the lonely corners of my
unfathomable inflammable mind.

Stan was born in a shady street, a ruined home and a **** lab
Grey was born in a posh home, boulevard street, with all one can have
Stan was raised in dirt, popping pills and dealing by the age of seven
Grey was raised in heaven, with a personal butler at the age of eleven  
Stan was ***** at fourteen,never had a childhood, and even lost his teens
Grey first ***** at the age of fifteen, dad settled it out of court, made it a routine
Stan vowed to change his life, and came out clean when he caught a line
Grey went on without a care, hurting others all the time
Stan lived in poverty, saving every bit for a better future and life
Grey lived like a king, spending a fortune every night  
Stan wanted to go to a college, studied hard, got through, but didn't get the scholarship
Grey went to the finest college, never studied and bribed every teacher of his
Daddy paid for the tution, for the place he stayed, and every wish he could have
Stand went in depression, unable to turn his life around, but he never went back  
Grey was reckless, taught to cheat and lie his way to the top
And even though stan never had a chance, he always helped others the first chance he got  
Grey went on to finish his college and make millions through his dad
Stan struggled to survive, never giving up when things turned bad
Grey married a model, and divorced her when she got pregnant and refused an abortion
Stan married a ******, when he got her pregnant and ruled out an abortion
Grey went through wives, cheated and ruined lives of many
Stan stood by his wife, loved her, and held her when the days where rainy
Grey became a dad but refused to acknowledge her daughter
Stan was proud when her daughter was born and vowed to give them all a better future
Lily was all stan could ask for, he never let her leave his sight
And Mary grew up with no dad, and no one by her side
Lily grew in poverty, but her parents gave her all she needed and more love she could as for
Mary grew up on dads monthly allowances, could have all she wanted and then some more
Lily was all stan could think about,and saved every dime for her
Mary felt alone, whenever she stared in the mirror
Lily went on to be an honorary student and the brightest in her class
Greys habits finally caught up with his daughter at last
Stan was proud, the day lily got in the best college in her state
Mary never made it out of high school, paying for her dads mistakes
Lily graduated with honours, and cried on the podium when she spoke about her dad
Mary hated her father and held him responsible for all the problems she had
Lily went on to have a successful life, but never forgot her father
Mary became an addict, and grey came to his senses soon after
Grey tried to help her, but Mary was long gone
Everything came crashing down, and he found himself alone
Stan was loved by many, an honest man with a heart of gold
Never forgot where he came from, and helped anyone who came to his door
Grey never helped anyone and soon his business crashed
Spent some time in jail, when he couldn't pay the tax
Stan died a happy man, with his family and friends by his side
Grey died an old man, alone,  with no one by his side
Lily gave birth to her son, in a posh home, boulevard street, with all one can have
Greys granddaughter was born in a shady street, a ruined home and a **** lab

Stan was born in a shady street, a ruined home and a **** lab
Grey was born in a posh home, boulevard street, with all one can have
Stan was raised in dirt, popping pills and dealing by the age of seven
Grey was raised in heaven, with a personal butler at the age of eleven  
Stan was bullied at fourteen,never had a childhood, and even lost his teens
Grey first broke the law at the age of fifteen, dad settled it out of court, made it a routine
Stan vowed to change his life, and came out clean when he caught a line
Grey went on without a care, hurting others all the time
Stan lived in poverty, saving every bit for a better future and life
Grey lived like a king, spending a fortune every night  
Stan wanted to go to a college, studied hard, got through, but didn't get the scholarship
Grey went to the finest college, never studied and bribed every teacher of his
Daddy paid for the tution, for the place he stayed, and every wish he could have
Stand went in depression, unable to turn his life around, but he never went back  
Grey was reckless, taught to cheat and lie his way to the top
And even though stan never had a chance, he always helped others the first chance he got  
Grey went on to finish his college and make millions through his dad
Stan struggled to survive, never giving up when things turned bad
Grey married a model, and divorced her when she got pregnant and refused an abortion
Stan married a ******, when he got her pregnant and ruled out an abortion
Grey went through wives, cheated and ruined lives of many
Stan stood by his wife, loved her, and held her when the days where rainy
Grey became a dad but refused to acknowledge her daughter
Stan was proud when her daughter was born and vowed to give them all a better future
Lily was all stan could ask for, he never let her leave his sight
And Mary grew up with no dad, and no one by her side
Lily grew in poverty, but her parents gave her all she needed and more love she could as for
Mary grew up on dads monthly allowances, could have all she wanted and then some more
Lily was all stan could think about,and saved every dime for her
Mary felt alone, whenever she stared in the mirror
Lily went on to be an honorary student and the brightest in her class
Greys habits finally caught up with his daughter at last
Stan was proud, the day lily got in the best college in her state
Mary never made it out of high school, paying for her dads mistakes
Lily graduated with honours, and cried on the podium when she spoke about her dad
Mary hated her father and held him responsible for all the problems she had
Lily went on to have a successful life, but never forgot her father
Mary became an addict, and grey came to his senses soon after
Grey tried to help her, but Mary was long gone
Everything came crashing down, and he found himself alone
Stan was loved by many, an honest man with a heart of gold
Never forgot where he came from, and helped anyone who came to his door
Grey never helped anyone and soon his business crashed
Spent some time in jail, when he couldn't pay the tax
Stan died a happy man, with his family and friends by his side
Grey died an old man, alone,  with no one by his side
Lily gave birth to her son, in a posh home, boulevard street, with all one can have
Greys granddaughter was born in a shady street, a ruined home and a **** lab

the prison is
deep

her walls masked
in sewed flesh

there is only
a sliver of light

that comes from
the womb

awakening the
night

brewing many
storms into potent
thoughts

hide them
well

lest they pierce
through the skin

make a home
of murals

unwritten letters
to no one

that you keep
inside

let them return
to dusk

decay into
the rose tinted
sunsets

there are no
photographs
to remind you
of anything

nothing has
happened for
years.

to wake with
a heavy heart,
sinking into
the bed sheets —

battling
the abyss,

the long days
yet to come
gathering dust
in the corners
of this room.

sunlight spills,
scattering ruins
dangling by threads;

storms rise,
rage,
and disappear.

shadows linger
in the folds
of the curtains,

the clock ticks —
a slow, tired drip
into the silence.

hope is a moth
beating itself
against the window,

a soft persistence
against an endless sky.

still, the body breathes,
still, the heart remembers
the shape of light.

I wish all those wishes weren't his,
That there was something else, anything other than this,
That he wasn't how they claimed him to be,
I guess he just wanted to be missed,
And maybe nobody could see
Now he's missing from every place that belongs in arms of his.



Can he feel?

You don't.

Don't you feel ?

I don't.






Not anymore.








Yeah,


So now go and tell him why he can never make no friends,
To stop reading empty pages, the torment is not going to end.

Soon it's going to be so dark, what is he going to do then ?
Don't ask him, or he'll come along in, can't you tell ?.


What are you going to do when,
He tells you that he has no friends?
And how lonely he has felt.

All these years without any hope,
When he starts talking about the rope,
Do you think it's gonna end well ?




Maybe this is what they say
When they tell you to runaway
Before it's too late
And you're addicted to the wait

When there's no one to love
No one here to hate


When you've given up trying
So you're looking for a blade
And you see your sorry self crying
Looking back at you through the mirror
full of shade.



Don't you wish to runaway ?

bad kids don't die young and
tomorrow's just another day we fail

bad kids don't buy guns but
they swallow bullets as they wail

sad kid don't be shy, son;
they'll take you away just like the winds

look at that sad kid,
he don't - won't have none

still he wants to play
with them shells and ale


mad kids don't break them,
there's this jail with no walls and doors

bad kid - but he don't hate pen
swords and blades don't cut it anymore

sad kid don't be shy, son;
they'll take you away just like the winds

hey, mad kid - why don't you try some,
three's a crowd, fives a doubt and six a sin.

hey, sad kid - why don't you buy some,
take it in and they'll fix your grin.

hey, bad kid - you won't die young, and
they'll take you away just like the winds.

In today's society we do not get sad because we are sad, but because we were expected to be sad. It's ingrained in our minds. What's good and what's bad. Think about it, we get sad when we think we're on the bad part of the society ( normal people like me obviously, everyone better than me stay out of this please. Your superiority complex hasn't subdued yet or maybe it can't because it's genetic and in that case I am sorry. No Matter how insensitive I've appeared because I just don't care... And also it has a very rock-n-roll-hey-i'm-an-******* vibe to it) and get happy when it's vice-versa. So, is happiness and sadness a human creation ? I don't mean in a biological sense ( philosophy, bro ? ), I mean more as a modern day concept. Why are we sad ?, Relationships, cosmetic issues ?, Jobless, underpaid, couldn't get the new iPhone ( **** those seriously). Most of us are just being sad because everyone before us were sad, on things that don't matter, on things that makes no sense when you look at the stars at night and see how big the universe is, or unless someone points out its not realistic, we need to be realistic ? Realistic all the danm time ? That's not human, human is to dream and imagine and create. Sadness is beautiful too, that's why great poets were born. But the fact is, sadness today is sold and bought, given names and even made fun of.. today sadness is as superficial as happiness. It is, it really is. There's no worth to our sadness, it means nothing. It's in our head because someone put it there. It's not natural anymore that's all I'm saying and it kinda bugs me. Have a nice day. It's okay to be sad if you are a man. Yolo.

This aged body,
in new clothes.

Battered seas,
under the yellow sun.

The violet light
of violence.

If stars could
tell a story,

would they not speak
of degradation—

of ruins,
of a civilization,

of my heart?

The science
of lonely men—

grief that cannot
be shared,

confined to
history books.

Empty pages of
old photographs,

collecting the dust
of the world,

fading in ink.

thoughts breeding in my head
stop bleeding or i'll be dead

stop repeating or i'll forget
what i never knew

before it's too late
let me sleep, let me rest
or i'll fade

let me dream lest
i'll be just like you
always awake  


forest seeding my regret
please don't scream yet

let the animals
first reach the boat
tears drain down
my throat

before the fear rains
and drowns us whole

let me dream lest
i'll be just like you
without a soul

without a whole
wandering in parts
torn apart

so hated,


sitting on an empty stomach
so isolated.

Sound of rain filling empty spaces of this cold dark room,
As i sit alone, wondering if the ensuing struggle can clear the sky
The night is lonely, as the clouds have hid the moon
And i find myself awake as thunder spits out white lies

I stand by the window, staring at the beautiful darkness
As a void slowly fills itself and quenches its thirst
I feel complete, yet i can't fight the approaching nothingness
And help myself from feeling isolated in this season of hurt

I can feel the fragrance of ice cold water kissing the land
To be made into puddles of dirt that will dry out tomorrow
This carnival of nature does something to a man
Brings out the tales and forgotten passages of his sorrows

And yet i feel the pain disappear behind the shadows
Detached, they slowly conquer depth of every invisible wall
Eyes laid upon the shape-shifting reflections in the mirror
synchronized with the bright lights, as the rain falls

I hear beyond the lurking darkness, in flashes all i see
Breaking away from this world, a traveller all i want to be
Roar of the gods and the cries of the slaves
Out of prison, every looming thought fights to be free

Winds bring forth a message from the whispering trees
As they stand alone, shivering in thunders breath
Howling at the olden lanes, down pours a sea
As every cross-road holds in itself a waterfall of death

And i watch every droplet fall and crash in pieces,
Some make their way to the corner of my eyes
As they trickle down to the edge of my lips
I smile, for i know i will be alive for a while

Sweet scent of the dying moments hypnotise me
As I swim blind towards the memories ocean
Engulfed in a blanket of solitude and calm
I let myself be shred to pieces as i walk out in the open

i still miss you more everyday,
now that you're not here and m-ine.
such a fool, that i thought you'd stay
but i was so young at that t-ime.

now i don't have much to say,
since we went our way and left us behind.
sometimes i still find tears, and pray,
but i know love's not an exact science.




[ but then, there's this moment of silence,
  and all i can think, is of you, and the
  violence;

  there are so many of us here and we're
  dy-ing,
  breathing in ink, waiting for her to make
  us fall in love.                                                 ]




there's something in the morning sk-y,
that makes me want to keep shut my  eye,
if i don't dream i know i will die,
if i don't ever scream you won't know, that i tr-y.

now everything else is just escaping my head, and i'm wondering about l-ife-
if i'll ever understand it, before it leaves me for dead.

i don't need this day, i want to go back to bed, i feel so wrong-
i wish all my troubles would go away, if i keep my eyes shut for a little long.




[ but then, there's this moment of silence,
  and all i can think, is of you, and the
  violence;

  there are so many of us here and we're
  dy-ing,
  breathing in ink, waiting for her to make
  us fall in love.                                                 ]




back to home and i feel so lonely,
what do you do when you lose your only ?.

i've seen the movies, and i know there are so man-y,
but if i had to choose i won't choose an-y.

for all of my heart is whispering in one vo-ice,
if i'm really made for it, do we really have a ch-oice ?
is there something else out there for me too, other than this all void ?

is it just the pain, or am i,
am i too old to take a fall ever again ?


[ but then, there's this moment of silence,
  and all i can think, is of you, and the
  violence;

  there are so many of us here and we're
  dy-ing,
  breathing in ink, waiting for her to make
  us fall in love.                                                 ]

i cut myself today
into tiny
pieces of hurt

there's so much to say
but i've sold all my words

sold all my love
and i know what i've done

living inside my flesh
i don't know what i've become

i don't know myself

and i don't want to be inside
someone else

without shiny things
without any wealth

scars smile wide
as i write on myself

colour myself in a different creed

i do not bleed
there's no ink
to breathe

and i cannot leave
this prison made of me

what i cannot be
these walls
touch and see

the window is broken
the door wide open

but i cannot flee
out there
it's all an empty sea

and i'm already so lost
so ready to pay the cost

and leave before
they catch me dreaming

like a fish
who forgot it's alive
and still breathing

i have to stop
or i'll fade before
i can stop reading

between the lines
eating on my mind

walking on acid and wine
staring into the mirror

it's so cold and sharp
and it whispers

to me
about everything that withers
back to winter

and i'm so old with no heart
it's so easy to forget
how the dark still lingers

but the blood's still red
as it flows down a river

and i'm drowning,


laying underneath my bed
with monsters in my head

nobody has ever found me


and i'm still crawling
angry and howling

i don't know why

searching for a way
back to my myself

as the moment dies.

standing on the edge
waiting to fall
tears don't speak of the ill
they don't whisper at all
in silence i break my part
how many times
have i begged you apart
don't you hear me
when I'm screaming your name
how is it
that we're strangers again
with nothing to speak
words don't mean the same
too tired to leave
slowly falling in love with the pain
i remember when we used to
forget everything else
and since I've lost you
i'm somebody else
picking up the pieces
that no longer fit the same
holding my breath
until you leave once again
for another eternity

breathing heavy
one two three

i have an urge
to rip apart the world

**** them brothers
and sisters and lords

none is mine
to keep

here i weep
in my melancholic ruins

where september reigns
against the cold

untold scars
simmering in my veins
turning me blue
and red

my head
full of dread
the dead
and everything that
comes in between

i can sing a song
but there are no animals
on trees

whole kingdom is dead
and buried

beneath the hurt
screaming in my heart

i must admit
i'm only a bad dream
and nothing more

if it all comes to an end
today

i'd be glad
to disappear

until the end of time.

the ghosts will never bother you
shadows won't ever follow you
them tears you've swallowed through
will come back one day to haunt you

your brain is insane and veins blue
been so sane with the same view

you've been lost and the world is new
no names but no promises too

been so in love till i grew
so many things I never knew


so alone with the walls shut
*** on an empty stomach
won't let me love you

been so in love without a clue
what *** on an empty stomach
can do to you

For I want to be
kissed by the sun

not the candlelight

There isn’t room
at this table
for the both of us

I want to sleep
deep in the forest

close my eyes
and not be alone

A bed for two
only lasts the night

I want to take my heart
hold it in my arms

and not give it back
this time

To laugh and sing
and dance

to let them know
it’s just a silly little life

but it’s mine

my mind is exploding,
I'm having an attack
fending the darkness against my back
so much crap i have had
but i am so sorry
my bad
it was me who put me inside this pit
not the people who never gave no ****
as i was burning alive
fire running through my life
I'm trying so hard but nothing no longer fits
It's a mess
man in the mirror screams at me to look at myself
i keep my eyes closed but i can't get rid
oh man, i hate this kid
i hate his face
i hate how it fits so perfectly on mine
how he sits cold and lonely all the ******* time
telling his story in weird voices and stupid rhymes
talking like a curse,
a heart to purge
growing cold with time
my head is aching
I'm so numb waiting
every time i see the sun shine
it starts raining
and every morning i say goodbye to the stars fading
my scars aging
there's no one out there for me waiting
I'm lonely
i hope i better be
for i wasn't meant to love
i'm not complaining
but its makes me sick
that i can never live with what i don't have to give
I'm still weighing on a blade razor thin
wearing a mask painted with a grin
but no one ever looks in the eyes
crooked and grim
he's a sin
it's a sin
but he won't let them in
the mute can't sing
i remember a time when i wasn't this cold
but now the kid's old
looking back at no-one and nothing