My fingers hover around the letters,
Like a longing of love.

My mind static with less emotion,
Grounded every time.

I can't.

It won't
               work.

My mind is-
     An empty hoard.

I arrive, weary, weak, wonderous
Daily work of a woman, it seems
It's not over, never over...

She sits in her spot,
beneath the shine of the evening sun.
A deep inhale, soft expulsion of my sanity.

I smile into her glare, a calm resolute
To the coming war.
Her eyes like daggers enflaming every flaw.
Of those things entombed within,
That bite, scratch, and gnaw.

And oh how my skin does crawl!
Oh how I yearn for the day to dance upon her in celebration of a life well lived...
Well over.

I love her, in all her 90 ways
I love her much more on her better days

Yet my heart can be fooled
When her monsterous drool
Exudes from her voice
As nails on a chalkboard
Giving me no choice

Her songs of songbirds
Vultures to my fate

You see, sweet little flower lady
Seems tame, makes me to blame
A crazed woman, who only has me
to suffer the sins that she has carried.

Behold -- eternal damnation
burns
towards you.
A second of comfort, hand outstretched,
cupping,
               cradling ****** constructs
your eyes remain void; fresh and yet frozen in time -

-- in space;
in memory.


The flashes, the strikes
-- the burning yearning agony;
the sharper the breath the blunter.

The penetrating throb -
the dismal brightness before you,

comforts --- cradles.

I had to sit up to stretch my back.

      Starting to think I'm unfixable.
Always thinking unthinkables.

I'm sorry, I'm drawing a blank.
I say that too often, but I mean it always.

Always.
-to bring you up from darkness.
-to kiss your wounds.
-to drown in my own puddle of pity.
-to take a breath to soon.

And here I am.

My - own - little - slow - motion hurricane that rips - me - limb - from - limb as I cry and pry my - way - out - of - the - coffin that you have sown - my - lips - in...



I'm sorry, no.
NO **** that I'm not.
I'm not sorry that I yearn to love.
I crave to be loved and no one should feel as empty as me.
NO ONE!

So I'll give you the skin from my body to show a stranger that I give a **** that they live.
Then I'll slink away to shadows,
I will cleanse myself of his sins.

I gave up
and I gave in.
I caved from the pressure,
and most benign of stress.

I fractured,
I broke the plate.

My cornucopia of delicious,
has no nutrition for my soul.
Meekly I settle for meager.
Weekly, I’ll settle for less.

At least this way I can breath within-
     -the full expansion of my chest.
     This way I can safely save-
          What little sanity I have left.

So to you, maybe I’m a failure.
Maybe it’s true, but monetary designations do not reign in my mind.

For love and life defines the greatest of wealth.

There she lay, naked and restless.
Ground crawls in the hours of twilight.
A change is rising, she can sense it--
Like riderless horses,
                 She flows.

Raging, thrashing, she growls and groans.
Tremors of emotion, ripples like the cold.
Keeping it together, the cells vibrating,
The tempestuous mounds roll.

In the absence of her violence;
Once the turmoil has tired,
She lay in a green valley filled with wallflowers.
        Here is where she sleeps.

Alas, the peace never lasts.
In the stead of a victory,
The lesser lay in shambles.
  Oh how glory has fallen.

How
Can you love me?
Broken and shattered.
You brought your own dustpan
And swept me, to a pile,
And off my feet.

How
Could I have been?
The blind one,
The lost one,
The bleeding and beaten one.
And still found.

How
Did you know?
That the love you shared,
Would heal,
The fractured chasm,
Within me.

How
Can I still be inflicted?
If only for moments,
From the poison
From the delusions
Years ago.

With all my faults
With my repugnance
With my doltish ways

You found, and find me
Shine light on my shadows
And bring warmth
To my heart.

Oh how beautiful your petals,
how lush your blossom.
Such a tall strong stalk
and wandering tendrils of roots.

No lack of sustenance,
could wilt or wither thy pressence.
The face of your flower demanding the attention of the suns.

Yet beneath your supple color lies
such toxicity known to the few.
You sow the seeds among
neighboring gentle flowers.

Planting their self doubt while
poisoning their colors.
They wilt and die at your feet.
Oh Narcissa, how divine.

Storm clouds kiss tenderly
The mountains that pierce the sky.
A source of life to which green grows
Falls, hurtling to their life's end.

But what is time to a drop of rain?
Born of the cumulonimbus,
Soaks to the ground where bodies lay.
Where bodies decay...

To answer this, wade to a pool.
Fingertips brushing, causing waves
On the flat, calm surface.
It's time is never ending.

Where death brings it's savagery.
Where it takes hold and rots,
Newness is born from roots of evergreens.
Fallen as the spirits that came before.

How can you be so naive,
             To believe there is an end?
Rain drops mixed with stardust.

That is all that walks, breathes and conceives.

Angel of whispers perched so gently,
Singing the song of silence,
And weeping.

Sweet little devil,
Shut your ******* trap.
Your voices high and low, like bees.
Your tempted grin gleaming in the cacophony of darkness.

Ants crawling like spiders nests... like ten thousand billion legs,
Piercing at my skin, within my mind.

The drum of my heart,
Keeps time with quickened breath.
Futile and furious.

Clawing against the thin air that has me trapped.
Pinned down in a celestial body.
Marked with nothing but showing it all.

Help me,
To understand
     How
To articulate
     And
To conclude.



And deflect this utter

Panic.

It burns.
Life has singed the top of our souls.

What a wasted wasteland
of waist high valleys.
Tasteless are the tempest
of tepid orange sunbeams.

Yet here we are,
You the broken winged dove.
I the child with rats nest hair.
Scream not, -silly -soiled bird
None could hear it but I.

—Lounged against the
shallow shards of
Hurt and Love.

Warily the hand that cradled your gentle head reaches the nape of my neck.
Clawing at unseen seams hidden behind
An oil slick of course hair.
A light emerges and you flutter slightly, feathers of white puff against the warming air.

As the skin gave way the world grew,
Anew-the shadows stretched across
barren disinterested land.
Valleys filled with blue,
and evergreen trees took root!

The sudden winds made your eyes water with the sand and dirt that blew against,
        pushing you against my breast.
As the calm settled again,
the world,
filled with benevolent vibration.

For as the mask was removed
The beauty had grown.
As the world was rejuvenated,
So did the broken, heal.

Oh what a freedom it is!
To let the light shine!
Oh what comfort it is!
To see your shadow is not alone!

So take flight my renewed dove,
Speak not of your sorrows.
Preach of life’s miracles
Sing a song of love.

Vortexes within my head,
And the filament behind my eyes
     is burning out.
How did I get to this?
Sitting my *** down in metaphoric ****.
Silently screaming with snapshots of
my face both ripping and tearing away.
My bones break and calcify with horror,
as dread melts away the calm facade.
The dirt smell of an open grave is welcome
and shunned as my eyes open to light and life.

But my feet are buried in the coffin and fingers tear at the grass.
I’m screaming out for hope and others only laugh.
Thosesome people just want to see the world burn closest cannot see it, while others look away.
Maybe it would be better if I just light the match.

Burn burn burn.

It's funny how the world spins
Even though we walk amongst pins
The needles buried beneath our skins
Our one of few hopes to salvage sins.

Agree to disagree
Though the world's not better off
Mask up, tone down
Zealots will forever scoff

So pray for your neighbor
Hold out your hand
The waves lapping against the Harbour
As the rats bring about the plague.

The ***** bites...
They warned me and they didn't know.

The tangled locks, looked longingly through the darkness and purred against my palm.
Lovingly she swooned and pushed closer to embrace,

Delicately her lips pursed.
Hastily enraptured and red with lust.

Gently she smoothed away the gleam in the dim-moon-light. She moved against my push,
and pulled me from my weakest point.

She
Left
  No
   Stone


Alone.

Her love dropped to my throat and there...

I bled.

Is it really that black and white?
To choose a side,
is it red or blue?
Whats true for me,
or whats "best" for you?

Where have all the flowers gone?
Burned to dust in California.
Drowned to death in Lousiana.
Blown away in the Central states.

We are left with heartbreak,
                    and rage....

We reap what we sow,
isnt that what they say?
Is this why Violets lie in my wake?

So where have all the flowers gone?
Raise your eyes and see,
count our stars.

Love is free.