Anji - Hello Poetry

Anji Feb 2018

On the best days, I can see:
Diamonds in the pavement,
Birds proudly singing, red-breasted and ***** in the trees.
I taste the beauty all around me slurping a juicy, lip-dripping peach
While waterfalls come tumbling down mountainside echoes rumbling
As we slip on soft rocks and wade
Into crystal running streams,
Where minnows glide and waterbugs slide
On the surface while
Wet rocks rest
In the sunlight sparkling.

On these days, I don't have to think
"If I want to be happy"...

I can just be.

"I like that it’s a nature poem. I don’t think many people write those anymore." - mom

#nature #happy #best #good #day #be #joy #waterfall #outside #mom

Feb 2018

haley

people i lost last year (and how i lost them)

i. the curly, green-haired
leo with the cry-baby tattoo
on her left calf; fish net stockings and
loud guitar playing and
menthol cigarettes. driving through
the park at 9 pm, ***** shots,
the white house with the a-frame roof,
hugs that made your heart feel as warm
as she did

crying as i left my room again to be
intertwined with a girl who did not love me, but i wanted to;
months pass, lonely car rides with
one-sided conversations and
seven years gone,
quiet disconnection
that made you feel as cold
as i did

ii. brown eyes, brown skin,
round glasses and chicago streetlights.
holding each other close on the subway
lakehouse parties in the beginning of spring and
pisces season and tarot readings and
soft kisses on the train.
holding hands at the aquarium,
sweet poetry and calm and
a sense of oneness that made you feel
important

hurt for the third time
a panic, a loss
i held their heart in my hands and
let it fall
harsh
unimportant
i still carry the guilt on my fingertips

iii. short hair. freckled cheeks, i
fell in love with the way the skin
crinkled around her eyes when she smiled.
an apartment, a home built
around our lips touching
wrapped in blankets on the couch,
dense smoke and her hand on my leg while she
drove. chinese food and
waking up against her chest and
laughing so hard
my ribs hurt

crashing. her anger withering away my
heartstrings; pain and
crying alone in the bathtub
moving away
drunk tears on the interstate
punching my thighs
in place of the way her
words made
me hurt

feeling extra lonely these days. they come and go.

#friendship #loss #lgbt #queer #lgbtq #free #verse #prose #grief

Feb 2018

cat

your lips..

your lips
remind me
of the words
my hands
wish
they had the courage
to write

#poem #poetry #lips #remind #remember #courage #hands #write #love #lust

Anji Feb 2018

Love Him Like Poetry

I want a man whose heart is so full -
Rainwater dripping from the pitcher on the drizzled grey of yesterday,
A soft sound in the great symphony of the wet garden,
Bejeweled and glistening,
Pianoforte drops
Upon the wet leaves
Falling.

I will know him by the way he writes, the kindness in his eyes -
Flashes of him in my professor,
In myself, caught laughing like a child,
In the quiet teenager who is becoming an
Unlikely philosopher, frontal cortex in heat,
With the implications of existence
(He’s awake in the early dawn, a furious Jacob,
wrestling with his God)

And he will be a Seeker of Beauty:
“There is no medium unworthy”
He will tell me, but never in words,
Crouching for perfection’s grace among leaves and dirt
Like a widow beneath rainbow fractals
At early morning’s mass.

He will be effortless, like the unspoken love
Between two old friends, bookends
Scattering crumbs of baguettes in the park
To clicking beaks, and dancing pigeon feet.

Burying himself in pages, when he thinks no one sees
(Was that you there, on the subway?
Dark eyes, fixated on the lines,
Crinkling with understanding?)

Both of us adventurous spirits -
“Let’s run away, you and me” and we will
Melt with ease into cityscapes, so transparent, adaptive,
Young and free,
Like the wood moths becoming one
With the aspen in its serenity,
We light upon
France, Spain… Italy.

I know I will find him
In my own verse.
Will discover him
In pages that I’ve turned.
Will recite his thoughts back to him, and will
Love him like poetry.
I will know him by heart.

"That’s cool. The first stanza is kinda awkward, though, maybe I hadn’t gotten into it yet. Good imagery. Makes my brain hurt. But that could also just be because I have a migraine." - mom

#love #poetry #stanza #him #like #mom #anji #tuesday #dailypoem #poemaday

Anji Feb 2018

Mother's Candle

My mother is the reason why I obsessively buy books
But never read them.
She taught me to value learning, to seek knowledge and truth.
This afternoon she comes in carrying “Botany In A Day”
While all of the great classics of history sit dusty on the shelves.
(Speaking of shelves, and dusty, unopened things)
I bought her a sandy pink candle for her birthday.
She loves candles. But never buys them, never burns them.
One night I lit the flame - she came over to me:
“Why did you do that? The smell is going to give me a headache”
But you love candles, I say, if you love them why don’t you light them?
“I’m saving them.” For what? I ask, when is this special candle day?
“Angela, just leave the candle in the drawer, please.”
And I think that sentence sums up her entire relationship with me.

"that’s true. I always save everything for special occasions which never come." - mom

#mother #candle #relationship #books #thoughts #feeling #emotion #home #adulting #special

Anji Feb 2018

I Almost Bought You Flowers

I almost bought you flowers,
And I almost wrote a poem.
I almost stopped to ask you earlier
If you needed a ride home?

But I didn’t buy those flowers.
And I didn’t write that poem.
Instead, I sat in silence, and thought about you
That whole lonely ride back home.

That’s depressing, did you write that? well. Sounds like poetry to me. - mom

#depressing #unrequited #sad #love #relationships #flowers #emotion #poem

Feb 2018

starchild

NiGhT sKy

I used to share a room whith my father
he would go outside and sit in his shed
Or
he would go out with friends
and get drunk

anyway when he was out
every night
I would stay up till midnight
and I would watch the stars and the moon

They'd like to sparkle and glow
iluminating the dark room and the outside
I always like to have a conversation with them
As I heard the clutter of conversation between stars

I always had my personal conversation with the moon
the moon would always give me complements
on how the light reflected on my pale skin
that nobody else liked
On how my personality was different
Which nobody loved
On my interesting take on the world
which everybody put me down for
And on my funny and different mind
which everybody called me dumb

On the first night of me doing this
the moon and stars forever became my friends
Id count everyone of them
id name everyone of them
Every time they appeared
Id say hello to each one before we began talking
We always has the funnest of conversations

And then midnight comes around
And I say to all of them
Good morning
Because I know they go away when the sun came up
So I said good morning because midnight is the start of
A new day
(I never liked the sun for chasing away my friends)

And id do this every single night and still do
But around the time I began kindergarten
I began to truely notice that some stars have disappeared
but there would be new and different ones
So I named the new ones
and welcome them
and things changed a little
Everytime a new one would come in
Id just name it and we'd continue our conversations

And there was this one star
Very unique
It was off in the middle of the sky
all alone no stars but far off around it
and it shined brightly
of course the other stars weren't avoiding this little star
In fact they were trying to go to the poor thing
but the sky had its own plans so it stayed alone

All that night i had a fun conversation
And at midnight I went to say good morning
but i forgot to name the poor star
so right when the clock struck 12:01
I named the star "Hayden"
and I said to Hayden good day
And he sparkled and I went to bed

The next day I went to school
and I felt how Hayden felt
alone
that day were having hot chocolate
and watching the nightmare before christmas
it was into the school year and a day before winter break
I was sitting in the back alone
watching the show
and this boy.... he walked up to me
and sat next to me and he said
" interesting movie huh?"
I just sat there and stared in amazement
And I shook off the look and just said "yah"
I'm going to spare you the rest of the conversation and just say
we became good friends
at the end of the day we shook hands and I said
" my name is Tommy."
And he said
" its nice to meet you Tommy ... my names Hayden... its nice to be your friend."

I walk away in amazement

but that night Hayden isn't in the sky
And never was again
And me and Hayden at school were friends
all the way up to fourth grade
He turned around and stabbed me in the back
He betrayed me and left me alone
And I never saw him again

I was truly alone again
Just had the stars and moon as friends

And new stars continue to roll in
And I continue to name each one

But I wonder
what happens to stars?
do they become suns
do they just explode and destroy and disappear
like he did?
And I say to myself
" not all stars disappear
not all stars will be that way
but we know
Stars are your friend when no one else is"

See everyone is a star in there own way
each different
and In a different location
But you gotta know
were all in the same sky

And as the moon lights up my life
And my room and the outside
I think and know
I'm glad to have the nigh sky as my friend
Cause when I'm dead
I don't wanna go to heaven and have fun
I don't wanna go to hell and watch those he wronged me
Burn
I want to dance and walk around the night sky
and truly meat the moon
and each star
Sun (even though if they chase away my friends
They deserve something to)
Nova
Black hole
Comet
Meteor
planet
I wanna meet everyone in the sky I saw
all of those who were there for me when I was alone
The night sky is mine
and my friends home
Don't worry
No one is alone
for the leading moon
isn't days doom
its happiness
and my true. happy. home.

=)
I love you all.... I love my friends and I love those of you who like my poetry.... you don't have to like my poetry I'm not one of those people. I love you all anyways.