Why am I so nervous?
My body is mechanically cautious
Inside this shell is a throbbing Heart time-bomb.
Rapid ticking tempo,
for reasons I don't understand
but already know.

Dance away from me.

Be so beautiful,
the human landmark you were meant to be,
yet I'll never see.

I was manufactured to be a small piece of your past,
your own family told me young love doesn't last.
As more of a threat than a statement,
I just received and digested it.
Proving them right,
my last regret is wasting time putting up such a fight,
I ****** up when I should've calmed down and listened up.
I found who I used to be,
was always there inside of me,
but before she could grow,
she needed to experience that pain to know.

Humiliate me
Titillate me
Infiltrate my mind

Why are psychic vampires so seemingly kind?

Day of Realization
Age of Information

The mind can be both morbid and innocent,
at the same time.
Back-brain treachery,
is human nature, not a crime.

Be the masterpiece in progress,
while the World is but stationary.
A model is pretty,
but knowledge is legendary.

My open wound,
infected.
Heartbreak manifested.
I picked you like a scab,
a catalyst in a lab,
accelerating my own processes
to that of your own.
Your warmth,
so protective,
made my shelter a home
-but what you want is not me,
but a molded version.
So dance around that issue
with scapegoats and diversion.

I know you'll do better,
I'll run into you years away,
where there's love and warm weather.
Someday-

Tears of Growth
Tears of Pain
We Intrigue and Disdain
so come forth with me,
face the love that we have slain.

I will always be here for you,
Despite this state of forced separation.
It's temporary,
but necessary.
This was a dire situation.
Kids in time out,
so elementary.
So let us find our own destination.

I'm done with these games.
Futile war efforts,
battle of names and blames.

I can forgive,
but I don't forget.
I know that sometimes time and change,
is the best cure for regret.

I know you're full of sorrow,
but love,
there's always another tomorrow.
Humble your Mumble.
Make it bright,
Promise me telepathically
this won't **** your spirit to fight.

Understand my reasons,
know that feelings do fade with the seasons.
Memories don't,
even foggy and fragmented.
Distance yourself,
far away for a time and you'll see they're all segmented,
glued together by sentiment.
Parallel puzzle pieces make a picture,
every number and scripture.
Please take my advice, as yours I haven't forgot.
Use your notebook I gave you,
write down every recurring thought,
or in time's web they'll be caught.

Bottled Up
Never to Escape
Let it out
**** the Ego
Accept your Fate

You're dwindling and drowning,
unable to see that you're the only one who can save yourself.
I can only guide you for so long before losing sight of my own path.
You know hate is an illusion, all feelings are passion.
Do the math.

I know how you're feeling.
Situations are Fleeting,
you just have to enjoy them and relax.
Even when your head is spinning and reeling.
Breathe
Make a Joke
It will pass

Just because the present is in shambles,
doesn't mean it will last.
Remember to not forget that.

I am an emotional sponge,
your laws I cannot abide.
I know that I have to,
but I don't want to hide.
I won't.

My shame is gone,
sunny sights and warm nights,
my eyes are set on.

I hold no animosity for the fleshy shell across from me.
Shared in past, separate in present,
set free to live different futures
and represent it.

I will appreciate you,
celebrate you from afar,
every smile you crack
I wished for on a star.

You'll never believe me,
but hurting you wasn't my goal.
I struggled too much on my own,
to teach you how to free your soul.
I'll never regret what we had,
or forget the happy times and the sad.
I will always love you,
I would write it in the sky,
but until we are singularly whole and happy.
Goodbye for good,
goodbye goodbye.

lost across an ocean of light,
The stars are diluted,
the faiths still all fight.

I've been trying to tell you what you already know,
we're all small, even standing tall,
but our knowledge can grow.

Say something, or say nothing.
If you won't leave with me,
I'm still going.
I just need you to know.

Goodbye childish fears,
the faces of my peers.
Bittersweet,
Strangers to meet,
I'll learn their names and faces,
maybe they'll consider me an acquaintance.
It's not like anyone knew me anyway,
the intricacies of the human mind separate and connect us that way.

Goodbye to all familiar,
I've tossed my inhibitions out the window.
Tears will refrain darling,
I'll write and visit by train,
you'll always be my love and my pain.
This town will always be the same,
as soon as I knew I could not remain.

Goodbye ****** town,
of mediocre opportunity,
I'll fly to new limits and discover the beauty.

I know that you'll miss me,
maybe someday again you'll kiss me.
So vile, human representation of pride,
tone down your need for control,
hold on and buckle up,
life is just a ride.

I just want everyone to be happy, why can't I be?
My head hurts,
as my heart parts from my body,
is this what's left of me?

Detached numbness I feel,
is this the calm before the storm?
How will I go on,
without your presence as the norm?

I am a rubberband,
pulled tightly by those who care for me.
I bend and pull in knots,
when will I snap completely?
Inevitable, but I socialize my way into solitude,
mournful of my own attitude.

You're such a good person,
it's my fault
it is my fault.
I never wanted you locked up in a vault,
though I'm now safe
from your preying on my insecurities,
my mind is still busy and full of formalities.

Everyone thinks I'm better off waging war,
but I just wanted peace.
Still, you needed to be gone,
you weren't even on my lease.
The feelings still shake me that I cannot release,
Regret and Remorse
Your love a drug highway,
I GPS'd the course.
Driving forever,
Stranded
The love ran out,
I searched and I pleaded
but there's no fuel about.

Don't ever forget that I care,
even if to you it seems wrong.
One Day I'll convince you,
in Rhyme, and in Song.

I will remind you,
it wasn't farewell, but goodbye.
When I told you I loved you,
it was never a lie.

I still just want everyone to be happy, why can't I?

Arms outstretched,
every bone and nerve-ending.
To all that have felt my presence,
good vibes I'm sending.

I have known you
You don't care about me
I have loved you
You taught me about me

Feet grounded, fingertip branches sway.
Motions I yearn to be making,
Force of Wind keeps me Dancing
Night and Day.

In the sky
It's a face you can't forget, with no name.
You could hear it, scream it at the tops of your lungs,
and it would never sound exactly the same.
You could even frame it,
when there's no one to blame.

Find me and tell me Everything,
Find me and tell me Anything.

I have known you
You don't care about me
I have loved you
You have taught me about me

Build me up, to take me down.
Love me tough, then run around.
Had me fooled more than once or twice,
Knowing what I do now would've been nice.

I have known you
You don't care about me
I have loved you
You have taught me about me

Find me and tell me Everything,
Find me and tell me Anything.

Here I stand at the foot of an empire in ruins,
and Here I was expecting an apology-
how silly of me.
What was I thinking?
What are we?

Human, an advanced animal,
yet not exempt to be territorial and hostile.
Tactile.

Our differences make us change,
I grow brighter but you grow sadder
and virtually stay the same.
Your problems consume you and feel strange,
but they're as common as your misconception
that anyone else is to blame.

I need you, but if this is effort
I don't want you.

I'm stationary,
wondering all the while-
Why the pants of liars,
don't actually catch fire.

Three Strikes, and I'm out,
Here's to baseball and wet dreams,
and to the bridge you'd be living under had it not been for me.

Two years of this confusion,
but the trauma of physical encounters haunt my neurovision.
You strike the picture of innocence,
the once untouched pure essence.

I just want to be alone so bad,
you've shown disrespect for all we had.
I say I'm not listening,
but truthfully I heard.
The real problem is,
I don't believe a word.

Neither of us are stealthy,
but this isn't healthy.
Nothing I do is good enough for you.
So you guilt me into living in captivity.

I need you, but if this is effort,
I don't want you.

Oh Fate, you cynical *****.
Destroy me,
Take me down then laugh it off,
Show me what I mean.

Over and Over
I tried
Over and Over

I'm Hollow

Over and Over
I tried
Over and Over

It's Futile

The only pain you shall know,
is the pain of feeling nothing at all.

Under a sheet
Against the wall
Up in the fort
Beneath your Feet

Once you've played the game of love with Fools,
you'll see they're playful engineers
and you're simply their tools

Fire Breathing, Lawn-chair throned King
Building pillars of self esteem,
just to knock them down.
With a chuckle and a laser beam-

Running in circles
Stop
Running in circles
Stop

You let it be, and balance on a wire
Your heart the size of a grain of Rice,
but tell me,
Do you still think Ignorance on Fire,
is better than Knowledge on Ice?

Waiting for the perfect time is the same as making an excuse.
My Impatience with you is profuse.

Power Couple never left a worse taste in my mouth,
this just feels unnatural when you go North I head South.
You wanted me forever, my words you'd never seem to recieve.
My kind demeanor gave you hope to stay,
but don't forget I still told you to leave.

Fisherman Face
Hazy Eyes
I have no mental space
For your lazy lies

Nobody has a clue what this ride is that they're upon.
Life would be easier if you'd just hang on.
Find faith in yourself, and refuse to let it stray.
Sometimes things won't work out, and that's okay.
So go ahead, love that memory til it's long gone.

Move along.

Don't be afraid of being alone,
but those who hate it.
Now that your true colors have shown,
I cannot keep my distaste secret.

Parasite
Long Fight
Sleepless night

Please I'm asking,
just get out of my sight.

Fisherman Face
Hazy Eyes
I have no time
for lazy lies

Waiting for the perfect time is the same as making an excuse.
My Impatience with you is profuse.
Self Medicate and Evacuate.

Shaking to my shins and rocking my bones
The rhythm rips through us from dusk to dawn
There’s a thrill that we’re sharing here on the floor
Your heart against mine my hand against yours

Just keep up and let myself go
I can feel the love
But I don’t even know you

We close our eyes as the set hits ten
Our hips are rocking, fingers clenched
All alone along this pressing crowd
Let’s just sing together and let’s shout out loud

Our steps trip up and we’re tangled together
Might never find you again so let’s try to remember
This moment we had in the fire and fury
The music’s in my blood and I know you can feel it too
While the lights wind down we share our last goodbye
The first press of lips and we’re done tonight
And I’ll never forget these hours lost
The press of your skin as we turned and tossed

Always let go, or an anchor will leave you drowned
Face forward and ahead where love can be found

Eyes closed but with feelings I see
your spirit and body dancing in tune with me
surrounded by zombies on their phone
I whisper so softly that you look like home

Chest to chest, arms flail and fall
you throw me up against the wall
although you may never find me,
we may share the memory
of dancing hips and longing grips
an anatomical harmony
I'd massage your head,
to thank you for loving me
Wrapped in a blanket, secret hiding space
I'll never forget the sly smirk on your face

He said Talking to you makes me feel like such an *******,
and I replied with the fact that I'm not doing anything, maybe it's just you.
If the shoe fits and it looks nice, I'm not telling you to take it off Cinderella.
Don't you have to be somewhere at midnight?
Not trying to be rude, I just don't have the will for this fight.
Just please, please, let it go tonight.

Am I doing the right thing?
Somewhere down the lines got blurred, and I should go home, if I knew where one was, or for that matter anything.

I run my vacuum late at night,
I have no other time I know for others it's not a delight.
I just don't see why it's not socially acceptable,
to understand not all people have the same schedule.

I guess I'm a hoodlum,
just because I sleep all day and work all night.
I'm just a dumb kid, and nothing I will ever do is right.

Truth is I'm so **** tired, and too old for this.
Don't ever let anyone guilt you for a single moment of bliss.

Sometimes people want to be alone, and that's okay.
but in a break up someones always gotta be painted to be the bad guy.
You didn't do anything wrong, but you started it.
You might as well end it.

Who stabs someone only halfway?
Pierce the heart, push that blade in all the way.
Don't be shy now, there's no time to cry.
You know they'll still bleed anyway.

He said Talking to you makes me feel like such an *******,
and I replied with the fact that I'm not doing anything, maybe it's just you.
If the shoe fits and it looks nice, I'm not telling you to take it off Cinderella.
Don't you have to be somewhere at midnight?
Not trying to be rude, I just don't have the will for this fight.
Just please, please, let it go tonight.

I'll always miss the light in your eyes,
sweet distance I've cherished from you and your lies,
but you're not Malicious, it was me who was lost.
I'd hesitate and stumble not knowing the cost.

My heart's still beating so fast-
Stationary Vibrations
That I thought wouldn't last.

and I'm not even moving, anymore.

Is this not over?
My stomach feels like a washing machine,
as I await a gain of closure,
but from action. If you only knew what I mean.

A rainy night like this, so dark and familiar.
My intentions are 180,
yet I still lack an emotional filter.

What's done is done,
but my mind won't stay in line,
it wanders, and wonders.
Did I even make you ponder?

Message from a bottle, a bracelet to give away,
an apology off my chest,
and an instrumental sentiment to replace what I had bust.

Although I'm still hectic,
I've learned through times chaotic
that there is controlled madness,
a deep understanding found in the most lingering sadness.

I will always forgive you, even though I mean nothing to you.

I'll always miss the light in your eyes,
sweet distance I've cherished from you and your lies,
but you're not Malicious, it was me who was lost.
I'd hesitate and stumble not knowing the cost.

Now photos haunt me like corpses,
memories frozen in time.
Souls at some point in their lives
both melancholic, and sublime.

Trying to be free spirited,
is harder with a heart of lead.
I shut down, quiet but responsible
for the thoughts in my head.

My biggest weakness,
I don't leave things in silence.
Even if they're past pretense,
you can't humiliate someone who has no shame.
I'm so done with this game,
but I can't stop playing for fear of not breathing.

So I'll isolate in my leaving,
and wait til I rot down to my core.
No matter how many books I read to escape,
I'm still haunted by the symbols within the lore,
a foretold romance gone black and full of sorrow.
Give your mind a break, but emotional scars will still be there tomorrow.

There is no cure, that is for sure
to rid me of this sadness.
I've perhaps died in another dimension,
or reality and my life is purely bogus,
a dying dream.
You were thing the only thing as real as you seem.

Although I'm still hectic,
I've learned through times chaotic
that there is controlled madness,
a deep understanding found in the most lingering sadness.

Keep every journal, fill every page.
So one day you may read them to the world on stage.
Resist avoiding cofrontation or live your life in a cage.

How can someone expect to go anywhere without any baggage?
You can't help the world until you've learned through your own damage.

I will love and respect every rock, stranger, and tree.
I will love every enemy who'd never forgive me.
These forces shape you and me, every miracle and calamity.

Maybe at the end of it all, our souls just evaporate into sunshine,
and we've been fighting for no reason all along;

If you want a rainbow,
you need to tolerate the rain.
You want power?
Learn to love your pain.
Accept no other definition of life but your own,
but keep an open mind.
Without evil you wouldn't recognize peace.
If you never know hatred you wouldn't know kind.


You say I make you light as air,
when it's just you.
You are the wind,
I am a river running alongside.
With passionate fire,
we could make clouds for the whole world to see.
Our DNA may dance in different patterns,
but we are still connected.
Our brainwaves might be different,
but we're tuned into the same station.
All is in motion, seen or not.
All that we are is all that we've got

If you want a rainbow,
you need to tolerate the rain.
You want power?
Learn to love your pain.
Accept no other definition of life but your own,
but keep an open mind.
Without evil you wouldn't recognize peace.
If you never know hatred you wouldn't know kind.

Take imagination from the Human species.
See a bird with no beak or wings.
A book with no creases.
See a kingdom with no peasants or kings.
A car with no engine.
Imagination is passion, passion has personality.
Strangers are real, love is necessity.
Hot like fire, burning with desire.

If you want a rainbow,
you need to tolerate the rain.
You want power?
Learn to love your pain.
Accept no other definition of life but your own,
but keep an open mind.
Without evil you wouldn't recognize peace,
If you never knew hatred you wouldn't know kind.

Trust issues are probably the worst weakness a person can have,because most will go their whole lives believing it's strength.
Didn't anyone ever tell you secrets are only secret when they're between you and your grave?
You shut people out for your own mistakes, then act like it's brave.

Ignorance can be found in those who look down on intelligence, and is created by those set in their way.
Negativity breeds it,
Hate feeds it,
Silence makes it stay-

I guess your mind's too far closed to ever really hear me,
I tried, you lied.
You like to think your opinion is law, the one and only,
I'm not surprised that deep inside you're sad and lonely.

Ignorance can be found in those who look down on intelligence, and is created by those set in their way.
Negativity breeds it,
Hate feeds it,
Silence makes it stay-

So I'll leave, I'll go.
**** on my name,
I'll be too busy to know.
Hung up on trivial issues,
he, she, we,
I'm over here just chillin,
me and myself
all I need to be happy.

Ignorance can be found in those who look down on intelligence, and is created by those set in their way.
Negativity breeds it,
Hate feeds it,
Silence makes it stay-

No one is just strange without reason,
you just lack empathy.
I don't tell you how to live your life.
I don't need your sympathy.

Social hierarchy is not a priority.

I am a glorified earthworm, born to live and fertilize the soil.
We are the same, separated by ego,
**** it with grace, and proceed to be.

Starwebs in the night sky, long legged Milky way,
strollin' on through,
spinning galaxy webs for the world to see.

Your ship is powered by time itself.
Not on predicting it's movements,
but by being able to live in the now.
Without Question.

Our feelings seem as though they're always changing,
but really all feeling is Passion with different personalities.

The same, in many forms but different names.

I feel you crawling on my skin like a million germs,
quietly trying to **** me out of sight and sound.

Years long gone you say I'm out of your head,
I'm just not in your present our mental hookup's not dead.

I'm wired like a machine, working, and pacing, and blowing off steam.

You say I killed hope, but she's alive and well.
She's what keeps me afloat.

Though I stilI long for your presence, and the way you counted on me,
but look at you, you're like ** Nanny McFee;
You stay while I need you, and when I want you, you leave.

So I'll leave you with this.

Alert self protection,
fend of anythang that may hinder your personal development.

Satisfy your needs undisturbed,
devote yourself, and recharge.

Crisis proof, existential survival,
create your stable solid base for life to thrive.

Important sense of well being is joyful fulfillment of desire.
Take the earthy thoughts I left you and start a fire.

Vigorous effort.

Be inspired, allow yourself to give your all
and resolutely fend off injustice and make it fall.

Nobody looks each other in the eye;
Poverty thrives so the courts don't run dry.

I see an old man with his walker in the rain alone,
can't find a ride with his ****** trac phone.

Everyone's too 'cautious' to give help or receive it honey,
but there's no limit when you have a lot of money.

America.

I see a couple cry in the rain before they're torn apart,
I guess nobody told them a dollar has no brain or heart.

Arrogance tried to **** kindness, but it's not dead only dormant.
Only because those who lack it make others their doormat.

Media.

Bleak concrete.
I stand filled with numb emotion as I see legged fish, swarming a landmade ocean.
Drown, Drown, no one will hear a sound.

So smoke your cancer and eat your heart attacks,
and don't forget to tip and pay your tax.
Deep in the gut cemetery of weeps and wallows;

Do you think the whale counts every small fish as he swallows?
Perhaps not, but I like to believe he does.

Tears on your grave for you will never see her birthday cake.
You are the embodiment of the mistakes I've made, and will make.

I'm pretty messed up, but you've never seen a mirror.
When all's said and done I'll still be surviving over here.

Better off alone, I was better off alone.
So I'll let you drown. Go back to the ocean you escaped from.

I hooked you like a fish, but you were made of scales, filth, and disease.
So I let you back with pure ease.

I'll see a hungry day without you, I'll never feed into your manipulations.

I was the new toy you changed your mind on and put back on the shelf,
and that is why, I'm better off by myself.