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 Mar 2018 silas
Em Quinn
her face reminded me of winter,
beautiful and serene one moment,
cold and unforgiving the next.
upset is not enough of a word to describe what it feels to be heartbroken.
 Mar 2018 silas
replay
 Mar 2018 silas
just when you think you've moved on
you find yourself back at square one
with an evolved mindset and mentality
ready to do the same thing that forced you to change
once again.



-z
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 Mar 2018 silas
Brenna Comer
i’m caught in a metaphor
a convoluted whirlwind
of words
and emotions
 Mar 2018 silas
z
i let myself drown
 Mar 2018 silas
z
when people are in love
they often say
they simply fell
tripped over their own two feet
face forward
and into the arms of their beloved

i did more than simply fall
onto the ground of your love

you, for me
were an ocean
and i dived
headfirst
roughly
harshly
almost painfully
into the waters of “you”

i knew i could not swim
but i did so anyway
i was drowning
entangled in you
surrounded by this being of “you”
engulfed in this feeling of “you”

and i did not know what came over me
but i let myself drown
i did not try to swim back up
because if i went back to land,
releasing myself from your grasp
that would mean losing the feeling of “you”

and after
submerging into the depth
the love
the passion
of “you”

how could i ever leave?
 Sep 2017 silas
Nat Lipstadt
Why I Always Carry Tissues

To My Children:

I'm laughing at myself,
As I am prone to do because
Why I Always Carry Tissues
Is the title of a poem
I write for you.

There is a story here,
Of parenting, and responsibilties
That transcends yourself, defines me,
Vis-a-vis you,
then and there, and maybe now.

When you were small,
I took you by the hand,
The cement canyons, trails & rivers
of West Eighty Six Street,
Together, we would ford.

Periodically, as Fathers are prone to do,
Your hand, from my hand,
I would release
So you could fall down,
All on your own.

It bemused me that I could see
Three or four paces ahead of thee
Exactly which crack,
Upon which you would trip,
And come crying back to me.

Back-to-me.
That was then.
And now,
Yes, no more,
Back-to-me.

But I always had tissues
to dry your eyes
And no surprise,
I still do,
Always will.

These days, they,
more likely used to dry mine,
As I have forded that Styxy river,
When crossed, you spend more of the day,
Liking Back more,
Then looking ahead.

No matter, by right and tradition,
It is still my mission, that
when you need, when you bleed,
as I know you surely shall,
These pocket tissues will be there
Ready, willing and able, fully capable,
of snatching away your tears.

When you need,
When you bleed,
And you surely shall,
These pockets of mine,
Of tissue made,
Are waiting for your tears,
And you, to fill them,
For without them,
Their raison d'etre is unfulfilled.


These used tissues are my history book,
Re the art of loving, and the arch-i-texture of life,
Of tears and hearts,
And concrete spills,
That need knees to be complete.

That is why you will find me, without fail,
Ready, willing and able, holding my
White Badge of Courage at the ready,
Waiting patiently, for my mission to be redeemed,
Missions known as parenting schemes.

The scheme is clear, even if
my tissues you no longer request,
You will let your own babies
fall n' fail, then take their tears
Put them in your pocket,
keep them forever wet,
Like my memories of you
the ones I cherish best...

Perhaps a tradition
We will start,
Unsightly bulges in our pocket rear,
Where we will store our packet of saver-saviors
Removers of our dear one's fears.

If we are truly wise
Those tissued memories
We will keep,
Die among them contented,
Knee-scraped deep
When tears fall...



2008
1. Written in 2008, updated today 7/2013, adding a word here and there.
2. When I wrote this, there were no more babies in my life; now the next generation, a new set of boo-boos
3. Yes, I still, always have tissues on me someplace,
a habit started over thirty years ago,
when my children where toddlers.
4. The poem I love the best.
 Sep 2017 silas
anon
2:43 AM
 Sep 2017 silas
anon
And I have to change

Nobody understands me
They don't get it
They don't try to
It's just all
Or
It's nothing

I give so much
And get so little
When I back off
They back off more
When I go forward
They step backward

I feel like I should quit
Maybe I should give up
Stop trying
Become who I was

Quiet
Embarrassed
Careful
Shy

Didn't say hello
Didn't speak her mind
Just let everyone else
Dictate my every thought
But that's not who I am

I've changed
                                        
                                               They've changed

They should understand
I'm a new girl

It should be better
Not worse

I should be respected
Not ridiculed

So then what's happening
What left me like this

So alone
So afraid

That every time I try to sleep
I end up crying
I end up hurt
And they don't bat an eye
Because I changed

I'm harsh
I'm different

If I tried I'd be better
I could be

Quiet
Careful
Shy
Embarrassed

And maybe they would notice
That the strongest
Are the weakest
But they don't

So by playing the weakest
I am the strongest
I am stronger than they know
Stronger than they will ever be
Stronger than they think I am

But
I'm not
I'm not strong
I'm weak
I cry at five am
To forget everything they've done

I scream when I'm alone
To try and get back
Hoping that

Maybe

Hopefully

They will understand
They will hear me

Scream
And
Cry

And they will understand
That I've changed
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