I lost you.
I really ******* lost you
You liked me and I liked you.
I then yelled and fought with you.
My mistake I cannot take back.
And now you're changed,
Forever, it's sad.
Sad to know we could have been.
Sad to know that we did-n't.
Sad to know it was all my fault.
Watching you fall because of shout.
A shout that meant more than a scream
More to you than it did to me.
1 year later it's hard to see,
The person you grew up to be.
It could have been different if I had acted
Differently upon my actions.
But I didn't.
1 year later and it's hard to see,
I've become
My own worst enemy.

It's 3:43(AM) obviously.
I'm in bed waiting to sleep.
Curiously thinking what to dream,
As reality slips from the restricting seams.
It seems the seams keep me to dream,
As I develop serenity.
Peace of mind is all I need,
I hope I get enough sleep.

The noise is crisp
The feeling is smooth
The air is thin
With each breath I take
I walk away
I stay inside
It will begin
I lock the door
I am trapped
It's already here.

It's hard to live with
Guilt
Fear
Remorse
Regret
Etc.

It's easy to live with
Happiness
Ease
Joy
Excitement
Etc.

It's nearly impossible to live with nothing.

We live to feel loved and when we don't we feel sad,
But what happens when saddens becomes all to familiar?
What happens when we become empty?
I'm trying to figure it out as I try to fill myself with other peoples happiness.

I want a significant other because I want to go on dates and kiss and love!
But I'm lying.
I just want someone to be with me so I don't have to feel so sorry about myself.

I feel so empty.
I feel alone.
I feel numb.

If I'm empty how can I feel numb and alone?
Sad and depressed?

Then I ask myself how can an empty jar be filled with air?

Is it empty?
Am I empty?

I don't get it.

None of this matters.

Thoughts through my head as I lay in bed,
Waiting to be dead?

Thats not right.
Though who am I to say that?

In reality I'm just a jar, a vessel,
Waiting to be filled with something.

I know I will be dead so I'm not really waiting to die.
I'm waiting to be filled.

Fill me?

Please?..

I'm dying...

I think I can write poetry
But I do not know it, see
The words just flow through me in vein,
Different phrases, different sayings.
I do not always understand what they mean,
But I guess that defines poetry.

Speeding my way down the road,
I notice a car in front of me;
It slows.
Stuck behind while I'd like to fly by,
In this moment I seem to realize,
I must stop and live to be alive.

Still stuck behind this car and the exit,
More poetic than realistic.
Behind a 1990s Chevy Cavalier.
My least favorite car.
I hate it dear.
I see the bumper sticker that reads "life".
Was this chance?
Or was it fate?
Do I get off?
Or is that a mistake?
A million choices to be made,
Although one life is to be saved.
Do I keep driving,
Or do get off?
For this I must give a lot of thought.

I prefer the night,
Dark over light.
Nobody else in sight.
But I can say I wish I was accompanied.
By something other then my thoughts.
Some one to share them with,
So to talk to.
Somebody I can kiss or be close to.
I need a soul beside mine,
To keep me company
3:49(AM)

Paranoia
Is RUINING my night.
My chance to escape,
My break from the light.
I love the night,
Just dark,
No light.
Why am I so paranoid tonight?
What's in the dark
Fearsome when it larks.
Why am I scared?
Why is it that I fell I'm being stared? (at)
My time,
My peace.
Why is this getting to me.
For I should not be afraid,
More the less feel shamed.
This is my time.
Me time.
Please-let-me be time  
Please-leave time.
JUST LEAVE ME BE.

Solace and to be alone,
Both I wish to not know.
When I sleep,
When I dream,
I see you right with me.
My dreams become reality,
As I awake and you I see.
You are the other half of me.

I need you in my life,
I need you in my sight.
I stand by you,
You stand by me;
As long as you do,
I'll stay happy.

Forever and ever.

You were somebody to me,
You always have been and you always will be.
Perfect or not,
I'll always love you
For you loved me so.

People surround me,
Left
And
Right.
People I know,
People I don't.
Nobody is significant until they interact?
And even at that it should not be correct.
People have issues, people are happy.
People live their lives good or not.
Then they die with only significance to leave behind.
But they didn't interact with me,
So I don't care.

Why?

I don't even go to sleep because I'm tired, I go to sleep because I know that the sooner I do, the sooner I will be with you

Believe it or not, I like you more than you like me. You're the prettiest thing my eyes have seen.

My mind can't keep you out, for I have no idea how I do without,
Somebody as great as you who makes me feel the way I do!

With that I know you're the one,
Who I'll start this journey with that soon come!
The journey of you and me,
Show me the way,
I will follow thee.

I'm the devilish ******* you wouldn't want to meet.
I'm the ignorant kid who won't accept defeat.
I'm the nicest if guy if you think I'm sweet.
But it's all a lie if you don't go and see,
How the world changes people like you and me.

It's a ****** up place in the real world,
But there's no place I'd rather be.
For this place is my home,
The only home I know,
And this precious life is our only treat.