at high noon
at a small college near the beach
sober
the sweat running down my arms
a spot of sweat on the table
I flatten it with my finger
blood money blood money
my god they must think I love this like the others
but it's for bread and beer and rent
blood money
I'm tense lousy feel bad
poor people I'm failing I'm failing
a woman gets up
walks out
slams the door
a ***** poem
somebody told me not to read ***** poems
here
it's too late.
my eyes can't see some lines
I read it
out-
desperate trembling
lousy
they can't hear my voice
and I say,
I quit, that's it, I'm
finished.
and later in my room
there's scotch and beer:
the blood of a coward.
this then
will be my destiny:
scrabbling for pennies in tiny dark halls
reading poems I have long since beome tired
of.
and I used to think
that men who drove buses
or cleaned out latrines
or murdered men in alleys were
fools.

you pushed me
you kicked me
you broke me
you killed me.
now I'm back
from the depths

now I'm alive

all the names you people ever called me
intertwine with the thoughts of suicide
I could never be what I today
without the broken reflection in the mirror that you made
butterflies fly through empty carcasses
ones that use to be drugs with teeth and heartbeats

Because I'm alive

My words inject right through your paper thin skin
they make home in your freezing heart
because home is where the heart is
People empty their ashes into the sea
and the water wants me

But I'm alive

And whoever you are
the one who kicked my burning bruise
the one who spat in my open wound
you're dead to me
no more will you flow through my mind like ribbons in the wind.
Because I'm alive.

You passed me a white lighter
and said, "here's to bad luck"

Well this is how it usually goes
We talk after 3 months,
And i tell you things that no one knows, just to crash into tree stumps

Cause we'd disagree on whats right for me and you'd lecture me on crap,
But i laugh cause you're so into it
And i'm a big kid counting on that

But what can i say to you?..
Without it being much?
I could break your heart in two..
But would that make me tough?..

Our love goes round a roundabout and i'm chasing you down the street,
With a cupcake in one hand
And in the other, a poem you said you'd read
But you just won't take me seriously
Cause you think i'm soft, naive
But i just wanna be more than what you see
Yeah i'm a traveller (not lost for sure..)
An anchor in the sea

I'm waiting by the phone and
I'm threatening to leave
And i see you're trying your best
To cover your emotions up from me

So i guess this could be it for us
But i'll bug you every other night
So its best to turn your phone off
Just until i find mr right

Though you will always be my dear
To love so hard would be, my fear..

Yeah thats the thing that hurts you see.. i wanna love you perfectly,
but you always bring the worst in me!!
so how can you be so perfect for me?..

..Just send me out a signal
When you're stressed, Text SOS
And i'll be there at your rescue
Cause to me you were my life-vest
And in another 3 months
When we catch up
I'll tell you my brand new crazy dreams
I just wanna be more than what you see..
Yeah so cut the rope and set, this anchor free :')

I'm a little disturbed by the implications
of dreamcatchers in cars.
Are we that prone to fall asleep
behind the wheel?
Are we that scared of our nightmares?
If life is a dream
does a person who dies near a dreamcatcher
get caught,
a fly in a web,
in the dreamcatcher and wait to be devoured
by the nightmares inside.

If you're attacked by a Lion
Find fresh underpants to try on
Lay on the ground quite still
Pretend you are very ill
Keep like that day after day
Perhaps the lion will go away

i've never seen so much red in someone so blue