here i am again,
trying to fill the crevices you've left
not on my heart alone,
but on every piece of my being.

"don't hurt yourself, don't hurt yourself."
it almost sounded like a lullaby
that barely echoed through the labyrinth of my psyche.
i am in so deep, i am so lost.

"i'd stop, i'd stop."
the words in my mouth almost tasted like a lie,
the darkness became amplified
as i let out a muffled cry.

my misery is a silent lullaby
and i sing it alone.

perhaps i'm still here
to make sense of what isn't,
of what we aren't
and leave the truth behind.

i know you're leaving
but i'm looking at the other way.

when my heart bleeds ink,
and when my pen sheds blood, please
know it's about you.

i am alone yet again,
wallowing in thick melancholy
letting the darkness seep onto my mouth
and onto my ribcage it accumulates,
turning my chest into an empty void of despair.

all alone, i gasp for air
but nothing seems to pass through
this black hole i created for myself.

all alone, i am afraid
afraid that this emptiness would swallow me whole
and leave me cold and numb, lifeless.

i am alone yet again,
and i'm out of breath.

when the shadows chase
the sunlight away,
i am wide awake,
listening to the clock
imitate the every beat
of my pounding heart.

every tick, every tock
my heartbeat becomes
fainter and fainter
then it stops.
at that second i know,
our time is up.

you and i are two different souls,
living on two separate worlds
that collided once
just to be parted
and never meet again.

the soft glistening of your eyes
always makes me think you're about to cry,
but then you start to smile and the rain becomes stars,
and the stars become crescent moons
when the thin folds of your skin crease while you laugh.

i'm struck in awe as your eyelids gently flutter,
making me think of butterflies who flit
their delicate wings to latch onto their favorite flowers.
your eyelashes aren't that thick and long
yet they possess the kind of beauty that only you own.

the bags under your eyes are beautiful too,
it's never a flaw, it's a symbol of hard work you've always shown.
your gorgeous irises that displays it's chocolate brown-ness
whenever the sunlight gently kisses your face,
the warmth of their glow melts everyone who catches a glance at you.

your eyes are the windows to
a whole different universe that exists inside of you.
they are the windows to your soul.
oh, how i wish you'd at least want to have a glimpse at mine
as much as i wish to delve into yours.

it was strange how your ethereal face,
your innocent smile,
and the sparkle in your eyes
could hide a devil inside.

you've tucked me into a blanket of thorns,
thinking they're sheets of clouds.
you've shown me the stairway to heaven but drove me to the edge,
into an abyss of loneliness and despair.

you're a wolf in sheep's clothing,
a demon under the guise of an angel.

it was strange how your ethereal face,
your innocent smile,
and the sparkle in your eyes
could hide a devil who would be the end of me.

when the sun sleeps
and the moon smiles,
the darkness starts to embrace me
but you show up,
you bring me light
and your smile attracts fireflies.

if you ask me if i'm fine,
i won't lie and i'd say no,
i am not.

if you ask me if i've found someone else
i'd smile and i'd say no,
it's still you.

if you ask me if i still feel the same way,
i'd smile and i'd say yes,
it never changed.

if you ask me a question,
i'd always have an answer that
i've always had stuck in the back of my mind,
and that answer is you.

so please ask me,
because i won't.

ask me please,
ask me if i still love you.

if you would,
i'd say i do.

but even if you won't,
i'd still do.

you are still tearing
me apart and yet, you are
not aware of it.

the clouds are my eyes
and the raindrops are my tears.
do you hear my cries?

isn't it fun to
believe in things that aren't
real? fate. soulmates. you.

if only my unreciprocated love
would cause me to throw up flowers,
you'd wake up to a garden and
see the beauty of the pain you've caused.

i have ran out of
metaphors. i just want you
here. i'm missing you.

my ink-stained fingers
are starting to itch for your touch
these lanky arms miss
encircling your plump waist
my heart no longer feels home
at my own chest

it's strange that i long for
those i've never known

when i look at the skies, i'd remember you,
and when i close my eyes, i'd still see you.
for when there is darkness, there is you who shines.

you have penned your name
with the stars; i can't look at
the skies anymore.