It's raining
And I'm watching planes take off and leave and
I'm sitting on trains that run endless loops
And I could be anywhere and
Instead I am here.

It's still raining and
I'm still watching planes take off and land,
And I'm still sitting on trains that
Run in endless loops
And all I want to be,
Is with you.

"So I'll probably **** myself,"
I said to you,
"But not until I'm 21 and can stain my lips red
And drink for real
And get so drunk I'll dance right off a cliff.
The rocks at the bottom will hug me so tight I'll split right open.
And then I'll never be able to hide any of it
It'll all be there for you to see.
Bleeding out."
You looked at me and all you said was
"Okay."

I woke up alone,
In that King Sized bed,
Panicked that you had gone.
And then I realized
You had been gone
For a long time.

A house isn't a home when
You're not around it.
A plane isn't a bird when its
Grounded.
You've left my heart confounded
You can't stay but I can't go
What is left I don't know
I know this story
Its sad but true
You'll never choose me but
I'll always choose you.

This is the story of the lover who felt everything, and the lover who felt nothing.
In the beginning, it was just she and he,
And she felt the flutter of butterflies, and new beginnings,
While he felt nothing.
And then it all became tangible, and they were together,
For a short while,
And she felt excitement, nerves, and promise,
While he felt nothing.
And while the laughed and made love,
She began to fall while he felt nothing,
And when she fell all the way,
Deeply, completely, ridiculously,
He felt nothing.
And when everything crashed and burned,
And she felt shattered, empty, and cursed,
He felt nothing.
And when there were small bubbles of hope,
She felt smiles,
While he felt nothing.
And when they started to drift yet again,
She felt longing, and sadness, and missed her friend, her love,
And he felt nothing.
And in the end, even through the lowest of lows, the lover who felt everything was better off.
Because even as she is on her own,
And growing again,
He still feels nothing at all.

Crack my spine grind my bones
My body has never been my own
Set fire to my skin
Watch how it makes me dance
Whisper in my ear, as if I have a chance
Take what little is left
Use it for your own
I'm already your puppet
My body is not my home.