When you touch me I don't know how you feel
When you speak I see only what I can't hear
You give your love and I so want it real .

I want to live in your milky way
Hide behind your stars peeping out
Fly through your galaxies with you
Be a super nova when we kiss
And be the speed of light going no where
Sleep under planetary rings next to you
I want to be your universe
You are my cosmos

The slow deep breath of reciprocating remorse
The unforgettable we can't account for nor atone
As the warmth from time's tale
turned as cold as marble , the choir sang ,

"A Whiter shade of pale"

My hand is home to all my dreams

There at three a.m.
on a dark and empty street
I was out walking
The demons kept my sleep

The music I recognized
Coming down from the open window above
The Eagles "Hotel California"
A song I dearly loved

It was the winter of 1977
Perhaps the coldest on record I know
All I remember was the cold and accumulations of snow

Mike had just bought the album
Invited me over to share
After we were blown away
The music cleared the air

We played it over and over
Every song on it was so great
The chill that hung in the air
Made it easy to relate

I walked back home after midnight
In the cold and frozen snow
Not realizing it was a  -10° below

The cold soon penetrated
I became concerned for sure
I was having my doubts and my skin was turning bluer


To make the story short
I ran to the door the last few feet
I fumbled with the keys
And fell inside into the heat

So now all of those memories come flooding back to me
There's someone up above and they can never leave

So I ease on down the way
out of range of the sound
And I am thinking to myself
To the words I am forever bound

"You can always check out
but you can never leave"

He died from a massive
insult to the brain
from alcohol poisoning ; Dylan Thomas

I say he was already dead
and couldn't stand to go on breathing
So he put an end to it the only
way he knew how

Poisoning : slow , so if your're reluctant
you can bide your time
and ease into it
You know , cross that line between living
and dead
You can do it and not even
be aware that you've done it
How easy

The only question is why ?

But I already know why

New York City . . . the where

I know :
The how
The where
And the why

He was really murdered you know
He was condemned by committee
Sentenced to death by poisoning

There was a general consensus ,
The refusal to mourn the death , by fire ,
of a child of London

I'm looking for salvation
by the wounded hours of night

I'm thinking of a giant to the ****** of my plight

My pen lays as idle as the silence of the slain
As I've aged I wonder if I will ever write again

The thoughts go tango to dance that subtlely divides

The words are rudely gathered then told they've been denied

Someone dared to ask me
if I lived in
a graveyard
of shattered dreams

After a moment of silence all I could say was , "Yes ,  so it is as well it seems."

The paper island exists far out on an inky sea

The words have stowed away on boat and sailed far away from me

Taking place where you calumniate
with hidden mask behind interface

An embolism hidden behind your lines
Where a falsetto lies your charm

How you create isobaric pressure degradation between your monodical screaming mee-mee's

Creator of sheol , abode of the dead poets
So supine in way and thought

Where will your Valhalla be
You valetudinarian
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Caluminate - to utter maliciously false statements .

Interface - a shared boundary across

embolism - a swelling of a blood vessel due to blockage

isobaric pressure degradation - lines drawn on a weather map marking increasing or decreasing air pressure

Sheol - the place of the dead

supine - failure to act due to moral weakness

Valhalla - Norse hall of God's where slain hero's are received

valetudinarian - one who shows unduly concern for their health

There in the tears of joy
Sings a round moon assuming
Calling to me come home
and be free
Never so astounding
the love flows unfounded
My dear one
won't you come home
Time is fleeting
for those that lingered
now hear they
are weeping
Oh , my dear one
be strong , have faith
let your soul come on home

I'm going down on river . .
going up in fever
I'll be sending you shivers
all night the long

See how I make quiver
When I tease her
Oh Mighty ! she say
how I please her

Ha Ha , how I kisser
my , my , my ,
um-um , how I
feeler

I my full moon fever
swimming on my river
Slowly pulling me under
as I drown in love

The page . . .  tearly splattered
The nerves . . . completely shattered
My pen bleeds ink upon the page

The world just collided
All fates now be decided
Still my pen bleeds ink upon the page

There will be no tomorrow
Just the thoughts of impending sorrow
And my pen will still be bleeding on this page

I should have done it better
The page is getting wetter
Since the faces bleed tears like ink upon the page

I will not be for hallowed
When I lay prone and fallowed
Still my pen will be bleeding in the dust

And when the ink is gone
And the words run along
Only then will I lay my pen aside

Until then my pen will keep on bleeding on the page

She says she is too short
Will have to stand on stool
To kiss my lips

She says her afflictions
Different only in that
They are all too great

She says I can find
A better edition
Of any year I choose

That all the combinations
In searing truth
Are just to much to take

It's this , then that
And all of the rest
She say's I should detest

But when
I hold her in my arms
I know I found my place

You are a hard ghost to pin down
my will-o'-the-wisp

If I approach you . . .
you recede
If I back up . . .
you approach

But you never let me touch you
My marsh lover

A light unto my heart
Burns where I cannot touch
Cold flames of blue leave me
No traces of heat upon my lips

My heart shivers from lack of loves inferno
The strength of my skin
Cannot be measured
The merit of my bones
Cannot be weighed

Nor will my love be finite
Caged or displayed
My lips seek soft wet kisses
That reign down on my soul

My thoughts slip in and out
Like low whispers of light
That are challenger deep
in darkest desires

Sometimes I go way out of my way to decipher , uncover , research what a poet has to say . Sometimes I hit the croquet ball through the hoop . Sometimes I miss and fall flat on my face . But I attempt to return the effort the author went to to write the poem . But I seem to have made too many unhappy and will from now on limit my spill . This will be my last post for the immediate future . Thanks to all my Hello Poetry friends . Peace .

She stands in the wake of my tsunami
Amidst all my destruction and desolation

She claims she is like no other
As all my sea are receding

Frightened vengence my hand played
Shattering all perfection's glassine way

She is standing upon my shattered dreams
Reaching with her aching arms

There is blood between her toes
If in pain I'll never know

Still she stands and is saying ,
"Come , it's time to go back home"

My world is not of the written word
It cannot be numbered
held captive on a so called page

My world is liquid
as sea , rain , snow or ice
It can be hot , cold , or entice

My world is cloudy
It thunders after it flashes light
My world is wrong , my world is right

There are no words that bind my life
I won't be delegated
to exist in the black on white

I will not be staved
by the limited sways
of the written words upon the page

Neal Cassady
February 8 ,1926  -  February 4 , 1968
San Miguel D'Alene , Mexico

Dead from extreme exposure
Four days short of forty-two

Only fitting , next to a railroad track
He had many words to haul back

The wolf sleeps next to the silver rail
Howling at a silver moon that fell

I see here he drove a ******* Cadillac
Through the San Francisco streets

With the top down
Smiling free , it was meant to be

Life is a quasar

If there
    is
no way out

No path
    of return

No tunnel
     at the end
of the light

It'll be alright

Just when
    I thought
I was going
    somewhere

I find
    myself
Once more ribless
    to someone who
I thought
    cared

Desoulment

I turn back
    into
One lacking

Resurrected without
a soul

Out of the starry night ,
By the way the moon glows
the monuments are lined up in rows upon rows

They glisten eerily though through the birch bark and oak
they be the condemned lost souls
now as ghosts flow

On the beach at night
with the sands and bonfires
To the woe weary waves
telling the shore all that transpires

The whales sing first
to one then another
Then asking of me  
are we not all one brother

Overnight hanging
on the shelf of a cliff
face to face with stars
and meteors so swiff

I hear the owls
in the forest below
telling to me , Yes
We know , we know

So no matter where it is
or when that I go
I am never alone
For everything everywhere does tell me so

.


Pack it up ,



      yesterday you were seventeen . . .



now you're an empty sixity-eight . .



. . . and a little late to be running behind . . .



Highways , mountains , rivers and all those stars . . .


     all those lonely stars


I'll be leaving sometime after the midnight's bell


the dew will tell where I go



The future is my next step


my past recorded in wet grass


keep moving on


everyone needs a reason to believe


I'm running on empty


I'm running out of time


Running out of love


and now I am running some more


Let them know you've forgotten about your losses


And all your gains were washed away in rain




When you have no roots you run



chasing the last sunset of hollow yellows , grays and pinks ,


before the evening chill sets in


"What never was , will be no more ."

I asked her to do me a favor :
1. Could you lay down and die ?
2. And be coverd by hordes of ******* flies .
3. Step into the path of a Greyhound bus ?
4 . Go to Africa and swim with crocodiles is a must .
5 . Be the first to go to Mars ?
6 . The last one to leave thar ?
7 . Can you swim the English Channel ?
8 . And then stay ?
9 . Don't get me wrong
10 . I never liked you anyway .

Flees around the corner
for what would the marble be without the pressure

Flees around the corner

(will be red instead of green holding up an AR-15 instead of a torch)

Give me your bloodied
Your poor dead souls
Your huddled masses
Crouching in fear
On the concentration Camp's floor
Become someone's
Wretched refuge teeming
By the score
Send these now to me the Homeless
Bullet riddled  bodies lying on the floor
I lift up my spotlight
To see the young and the Old lying in the door

Like new summer wine
We were green in our time
And the yellow rose
never smelled better

But like the weeds in the road
Armadillos , horned toads
The truth was spelled out in the letter

You know some days are just fine
Others will find that your lying
But most of the time
you're barbed wiring

Well the rains came on down
Washed away most of the town
I found you boarding the bus to Dallas

You said you gave it a go
It's time to go with the flow
Then I watched the bus
dissappear with sadness

Well the high plain's never tame
Life's not long there for the lame
And one can drown in the dust
of your sorrow

You can ride on and mend
But you will never be able
to bend
The land or the will that's known as Texas

So goodbye my dear friend
You can write but I'll never send
I'll be waiting for you
at the nexus

Siting in the silence
of my dreams
In the depths
parched dry
by their screams
they lie

Every chance
they were used
and abused
Bludgeoned
and egged on
all for nothing

I remember
I remember
I remember
I can't forget

The days sat on the hills
like a pumpkin patch in January . blackened , short , with no hope in Hell .

There are no women in Heaven
No moon , stars or Seven Elevens
There are no men in Heaven
No gays or lesbians
Just resurrections

I feel the space that I can't touch
You are invisibly everywhere
I see the way that you think
But I can't say it's real

There will no longer be a coming in
Just the feelings I have stored within

Soon now you will fly away
Leaving me to my love's decay

I wanted you to have my all
But chains bound me to my call

If I could but I know I shan't
Cradle your love now so faint

Sometimes when you cut the ropes
You sever the ties you had with hopes

What you said was God ordained
Now you say , Oh God , I'm refrained

As love is abandoned in the sea of dispair
I watch it slowly disappear

And I know it will drift there for evermore
In the center of my heart's aching core

There will no longer be a coming in
Just the feelings I have stored within

Now you will soon fly away , leaving me
In my land of snow and ice in May

I wanted you to have my all
But chains bound me to my call

If I could but know I shant
Cradle your love , growing now so faint

Sometimes you cut the ropes
Sever the ties you had with hopes

What you said was , "God Ordained"
Now you say , "Oh God , I'm refrained"

As love is abandoned in the sea of despair
I watch it sink and disappear

And I know it will drift there for evermore
In the center of my heart's aching core

Nomad ,
a wanderer ,
never remaining static .

One at home
with their environment .

At peace with their creator .
Probably made
from shooting stars .

I have no more connections
No letters ever sent
No kisses in the evening
Just valentines
never sent

It all stands to reason
Too much will sink a ship
A brickwall stands the best chance of survival
If you drive too fast and hit

A room without an exit
Is a dugeon unfortunately
All of my emotions locked up in my heart
Has become too much for me

I fear the dark waters wading
Full of monsters tormenting me
They are good at hiding daylight
They bring the shadows down on me

One that I can touch and taste
smell or even see
Sometimes out of nowhere they even call out to me

Sorry I keep getting distracted
Day dreams come cheap or free
But they collect dues down the road
that much I can guarantee

So if I put all those unforgettable
miseries inside the letters and mailed them off to me

They would come back marked return to sender
No known address that be

My labor of words
My words of labor
Far into the night
looking for the common denominator

Like a sculptor
and his chips of marble
Words fall from my thoughts
Off my tongue they
will tumble

Envious of those whose words can progress
Eloquent in manner
their efforts so blessed

I only dream of a maybe ,
some day
But it seems all of my efforts only change
straw into hay

Perhaps no such work
will ever exist
Still I move on
I endure , I persist

I don't want to write anymore
The need walked away
and left me with
a balance of zero
All the fire and searing pain
are now cold wet embers
in the morning dew
The lines of love
have turned yellow
in their newspaper ways
Cold dead headlines
that hold no importance
I will bury
the lifeless desire
in old notebooks
that will be shelved
and forgotten
When asked
if I once wrote poetry
I will scoff
and say ,"Who Me ?"
For there is no longer
a reason

I was not the original son
A first page
A number one
I was always the period
At the end
The quotation marks
That were left undone

I was the pause
That separates
That feeling you get
That you came too late
The one who stood
outside the door
When inside were passed
Out the fates

So I've come
To walk around
Those now living in the ground
Where in the dark there is no light
None to much to talk about
Just my breath the only sound

I have come here
To settle down
Upon this space
My hallowed ground
My favorite stone
upon which I sit
Beside the ties they left unbound

With the Dead
I hold my court
There are no groans
They don't exhort
The chase is done
The horns have sounded
Hark the chords of a la mort

Until dawn
A captive audience
I hold down
My midnight's deviance
Until first light
Threatens with
Complete radiance

It's not a science ,

it's more a faith .

The feeling I get

when I sing ,

' Amazing Grace '

If not for nothing
there wouldn't
be anything

It's not that I have
nothing on my thoughts

It's that my thoughts
lead to nothing

I really have nothing to say
It's the echo ,"Number nine , number nine."
As I stand remembering the words ,
"Steel and Glass , steel and glass."
"While my guitar gently weeps."

There was "Lucy in the sky with diamonds."
I thought I'd never be the same
"Happiness is a warm gun."
"And we all lived beneath the waves
in our yellow submarine."

The battle is over
my blade is broken
all of my arrows
have long been spent

Blood runs like a river
my flesh burnt ,
bones broken , flesh cut ,
stabbed and divided

And on my knees
I face my Victor
asking no grace
I the conflictor

Waiting for the inevitable
every second labored
would you do the honor
end it now and not later

There are no tsunamis
on the cobalt seas of Neptune

No major earthquakes
on the surface of its numbered fourteen
moons

The winds howl at more than twelve hundred miles per hour

And has days so short coming in at just sixteen
hours

Though three times larger than our Earth . It is just a rocky core drowned in a sea of liquid spinning fast

There is Hydrogen , Helium , and Methane gas
And like it's bigger brother Saturn it has six rings just revealed in the recent past

I have no desire to go bask now in its seas
I'll stay at home on my planet Earth thank you if you please

Poets are made of bone , flesh and skin .
They swim in their folly
thinking in the end they will win .
They are having the best waste of time they've ever had
Locked inside their rooms
that have no walls
Saying nothing , nothing
Nothing at all


Prime time never arrives
Their latest masterpiece
Is so , so , so contrived
Best hope is they will die
long before they fall
After all . . .
It's nothing , nothing
Nothing at all

It was the best waste of time
they ever had

I am the father
to the son
who will become
the grandfather
of my soul

What I have
proclaimed today
leaves a statement
for the future
someday to be told

and when the wind
is released
it stirs ancient dusts
uncovering
a continuum to bind

Like the sins
that are covered then
we reach forward
back in time

to the father
found in me
will be the son
found later
down the line

"Now I lay me down to sleep"

Knock
Knock
Knock
(Go away , quit knocking)

"I pray thee Lord my soul to keep"

Knock
Knock
Knock
(I'm trying to sleep here , do you mind)

"If I die before I wake "

Bam !
Bam !
Bam !
(Oh Hell alright ! Give me a sec .)

"Bless me lord my soul to take"

(What in Hell do you now want ?
Heaven ? ? ? For Jesus Christ kid ?
Down the hall and up the stairs.
And tell him Satan sent you !)

muttering under his breath
(can't even keep up with his own lost sheep
for Christ's sake)

SLAM ! ! !

The papers lay bare
the ink unbroken
The desire languished
I am not joking

I have not a word
there's nothing to say
Time to quit writing
It ends as of today

So long fellow poets
The time seems so short
I lost my desire
And I now know it

Carry on will you
There's much to be said
Don't lose you your way
"Goodbye",
is all that he said

You have to be odd
to be number one

We go ocean making moves
On the breech
Of the beach tonight

I wandered through the years
Avoided all the tracks
with cracks
Jumped the puddles of tears
Left the lost lips
the smiles
hugs and goodbye dears
and the one too many beers
Now I embrace
October's chill and shine
where all leaves change
and glow
I softly kiss the sun
and walk hand and hand
glowing in its grace
There is the gentle assurance that good days will be few
But I will pirouette on my good knee
with outstretched arms
(that tend to disagree)
and shout to Heaven
with unrestrained glee

If one is the loneliest number
Then one in October
and I make two