I'll be the last man standing by you
All the others lying dead afield

I am the only survivor to you
I'm the only reason you remain real

I'll be the last man to love you
I'll be the last man you kiss

There will be no one between us
There's no one you will miss

Help me ! Help me !
You know me better than I know myself

Take me ! Take me !
To that all special place

I'll be your last man naked
I'll be your unmasking

I will leave your body shaking
Make you beg for more

I will be your comet rising
Come and ******* pleasure

I'll be your last man standing
Watch me more than measure

I'll have regrets
the day I die
I'll have unanswered questions
that around me fly
I never went up to the moon
I never saw Napoleon's tomb
I never crossed the oceans deep
Nor stood on top of Himalaya's peak
I never thought we'd say goodbye
but time just slipped on by
And now I sit here feeling sad
wondering if life has me had

It doesn't matter anymore
The memories's weight
I can pull no more
I'll just lay down and die
and to this world I'll say goodbye
Then as I walk into the light
I will be full of fear and fright
But it will all be okay
Happens to us all on any given day

I look at the sun
and it's rays
make me shiver
Still I remain numb
in the rain

The pen and the paper
My Lord and my maker
Disintegrate
before my eyes

Like a song
pleads for it's words
A poet must be heard
Before the light
within is lost

It comes with a cost
One must be lost
Still the lines must
go on and on

Some day might
there be peace
Let happiness
increase
Still the words they
must fall like the rain

Each letter feeds
my heart
Let the words
never stop
I will be here
on the page

My , how I loved the night
Oh , the sweet breeze of mystery
The warm breath of summer on my neck
Oh , how I loved it so
Oh , that could I go
but not a possbility anymore
The excitement in a strangers face
The closeness of companionship
The embrace and kisses
of give and take
where has my desire gone

Oh how I loved the night

I'm a wandering wanderer wandering through windy winding ways
Where every constraining concept Causes
Pure panic packing pain

For what or why you whisper
Are the utterances undertaken
And I feel your consternation
Construing certain captivation

So I must lastly leave you lonely
Before the tides turn to tale
I will pitily part presently
Before I am wildly whisked and whaled

I was invited over with my best friend Ken
To play some pool , do downers , and drink some gin
Susan and Lea were live-in Lesbians
All of us real good friends
from a long time ago ,
you know , from a way back when
We had a blast playing pool
I was hot hot that night
I was wiping up the table
Made every shot in sight
By one a.m. my head began to spin
I lay down upon the couch
Then said goodbye to Ken
Then all turned quite except
for the scampering of mice
Then something else I felt as
Lea stark naked was sliding in
She started stripping off my clothes
Soon all was skin to skin
She licked and ******
scratched and pinned
She ravaged me like a beast
I could not satisfy her whims
No not in the least of them
She made me toast
Jellied up my behind
Buttered up my navel
I thought I had died
or surely lost my mind
After hours of lustful bliss
We fell asleep until when
she woke me up and said
"My car , can you fix it again ?"

Imagine time
as having
no end
Just a tiny dot
that loops around
and spins and spins

I imagine red rain
waking the Maginot line
All of my disdain
falls silver in shame
accordingly

I was caught helplessly
hoping
that the harlequins
would run basking
in the gooodbyes

Standing by the stairway
where I was choking on the promises of hello
a graceless lady stood suffering

Such are the stories that are seldom told
Those that are squandered
on existence
and those that are rejected at the cost of innocence

Were we looking forward
at our past
and found some comfort there
. . . what we imagined there

Bleeding me in the cuts of frustrations
Scabbing the shame
Forgiving the failures
. . . and the pain

always the pain . . .

can't you see

what's it doing to me ?

You knock on my memory
But I heard not a word
So you go forward
flying as a drunk humming's bird

I tangled in briars
But your long thorns
slashed me
wither a care

You stepped over
my body
Annoyed ! How could
I dare

Winter is cold
but so frozen your love
It comes with no promise
only shifty in nudge

You are a star
without any light
A delusional antagonist
looking for fight

I may not
Nor trust again
I will not be tokened now or in the time then

I was of the South
Born in my ways I could not control
My path of rocks and stickerbriars
Led no where , I had no where to go

"I'm going back to Selma !. . . Selma !
And I had no reason just before
I'm going to Selma ! . . . Selma !
And I just don't know what for"

Do I really have the courage ?

Maybe love is a broken window
With cold air blowing in
Maybe salvation is just a desire
And it will be there at the end

Do I really know ?

Losing love is just the other part
And how do I depart
In Selma what is there to find ?
I'm sure it can't be kind

Take U S 80 , between I -20 and I -65
If I leave now I can be sure
To be there to see the sunrise
From the Edmund Pettus Bridge

****** Sunday , March  7 , 1965
Beaten trying to cross the bridge
God's rights marching upon trampled sights
Home to take back from the giver

Easy to forget Selma 1965
All to easy to forget the hate
Leading to Memphis April  4 , 1968
And to more than a simple mistake

Will the shooting ever end ?

January 20 , 2013 Jackson , Mississippi
Blackman shot , MLK celebration parade
The blood flows from Birmingham , to Selma
To Memphis and Mississippi's charade

Still I'm going to Selma .

"I'm going back to Selma ! . . . Selma !
But I have no reason why
I'm going back to Selma ! . . . Selma !
I think it will be just to cry"

written January 20 , 2013

I'm in Heaven
here upon Earth
Laying on the rocks
Under sunlight
for all that it's worth

There's a caressing wind
that fondles my hair
I'm so far distant
from all of my
Earthly cares

Cotton candy clouds
kissing blue blue sky
All I can say is
my oh my oh my

Low clouds come bustling in
Grumbling about being here again

Driven by the Crack of lightning's whip
Winds whip tugging at your grip

Apprehension comes dragging tension
The Crash-Boom for added demension

Raindrops commit suicide on the glass
Bulging in the panes break at last

Stirred in to added confusion
Missing roof is no allusion

Swirling winds puncture your skin
As the walls become vacant beens

Swept away from your stance
Poor you , you never had a chance

Leave your imperfections
that I might know that you are human
That your stumblings
might resound a warmth unto my heart

Thy errs find grace
and forgiveness
in the steps I tread
before you

For I was no better
nay worse
than the efforts of your globe
of conjecture

My golden orb
fails in warmth
As I dreams of avenues
and cobblestone alleys

Of love of those
I know not any more
**** , this curse of time's
finagling abomination !

Yet I find hope
in the rebirth and youth
Let two souls come together
and remake the world anew

As for my glory
It comes down to reason
and the hope
that our imperfections remain intact

.

There is no stillness
in the night time wind

No measured moment
of  cardinal release again

There is lightning
off to the south by southwest

The thunder's low rumble
gives me no rest

My penchant for silence
hangs by my neck

The event horizon tells me
I am subject to eternal elect

Peace never comes by
begging  by name

So all of my hope is virga
falling in vain

It's unwillingness
forces my bends

Intensified due to the
inchoate winds

I want a sunset to the end of my day
I want to dance with a moonshadow
I want a river to enter my lake
I want an earth that quakes

I need a life hummingbird blue
I need a spiritual blessing
I need the warmth of a stranger
I need  just the mystery of you

I see the questions as unimportant
I see that there is nothing
I see that there can be everything
I see all that in the stranger of you

Innocence  displayed
Like a little girl touching dandelions
. . . a butterfly left behind
lingering on the doorsteps of winter . . .

Time , Time , Time
. . . so elusive , so undefined . . .

we have tried (so) true
(only) we fall so short

Love . . .  an instance in time . . .
. . . so passionate (in it's) displacement
We hope for but it lays like the cross
. . . at Jesus's feet . . .

We bury time , we bury love
We bury ourselves in search of both

The little girl without a sense of time
Knowing only basic love . . .
Tenderness of care . . .
and dandelions

Maybe we are the dandelions of time
Petals of love . , . surrounding each
in it's time . . . falling  . . .
one by one . . .
Like kisses given and taken

Lost to time , in love ,
till the doorsteps of winter
close in and freezes the moment

. . . all alone . . .

Love  . . . time . . . dandelions
Little girls . . . and innocence . . .

Run away as fast as you can

When a man takes away
the innocence of a girl
he leaves her
as  a woman
of age and knowledge

There's the mechanical scrape of the belt on the fan's shaft that sounds like a cricket in the night

. . . it no belongs

The soft shuffle of shoes on cement sidewalks late at night reminds me I tread lightly alone

. . . and it no belongs

The late autumn breath chills my bones as I envy the stars from where I once roamed

. . . I no belongs

See the armies of leaves vanquished , brown and blown ? They are my kindred spirits in arms

. . . that no belongs

Shadows dancing desperately in the night , find no sanctuary in the light . A question of balance is added to the scales ,

. . . I no belongs

Waiting !
For your next message
Wondering what
Wondering who
Your long overdue

Promising !
While I cruise
CNN news
While I read between
Your lines

Breathing !
All of me
Is so hard to do
When I'm caught
Waiting on you

Interstate
Internet love sick song
Leaves  me
Tap Tap Tap
Blue

Silence rules over my domain
As soom as dusk and darkness begins

And in the shadows I hide my fears
Ignore the number of my mounting years

And the echoes in my heart cry out
Lost and terror stricken in doubt

In the naked light of night

See how a fool will ever be
Always looking back to see

Stumbling over all his dreams
Making up excuses as a ways to means

And all the faults they will show
Like the coal dust in snow

And in the silence the light will bend
Naked in the night once again

I always feared thunderstorms
Lightning has killed many trees I loved

I understand that lightning
is a necessity as it replenishes
the nitrogen in the soil

But it destroys to create life

Tonight the thunderstorms roll
The thunder remains high
just growling low
as the lightning skips from cloud
to cloud

Then all at once
a bolt hits close by
and the thunder
kabooms . . .
rattling windows
Making your heart
skip several beats

The wind picks up
the sirens go off
and you chek out the radar

You breathe a sigh of relief
as the approaching storm splits
and goes around you .

It rains hard . . .

Then it stops . . .
so has the wind

Aloft the clouds
are race horses
galloping away as fast as they can

They have business elsewhere

Now all is quiet
a feeling of relief
soaks in unlike
the water running
rushing down the sides of the street

An after the storm moment
of peace when the air feels as clean
as the thoughts you . . . you don't have

I once was like you
made of muscle and blood
and skin and bone
But my days have come and now they have gone

And I'm left out in the dark to wander round lone
No longer to smell the sweet things
Not even a song

No heat , no cold
no voice of my own
I have no place of residency
to call my place home

All that I have
is a dark holes embrace
Forever now my time
is lost in its space

I am no more than the thought in your head
And that will be gone when you too are dead

So I am condemned with
no senses at all
No tumbling or floating that I can recall

Trapped in the nothingness that's greater than Hell
Just that of my consciouness and the memories that tell

I opened the door
To let you in
Just maybe we could default
And start all over again

But now all I can see
There is nothing new to me
Nor will there ever be
A better sound from thee

So I am left
With the choices I made
And I think to myself
I'm the one that's been misled

Foolish pride and utter contempt
Was all the while you beguiled
My greatest sin was to think
That there was truth behind your arrogance

Every sunrise brings new light
Each moment a truth grows strong with new insight
When in fact I turn , reaching back
Only to see you have already gone

I pick dandelions
in the early spring
when I think of you
She loves me . . .

I cut the rose blooms
in the summer morn
And I am pricked
by the remembrance of you

I walk in the autumn gold
as I shuffle with the agony
of the memory
Yes I do

Now in my winter's demise
I wrap the cloth of your smile
around the cold heart's desire
that I once had for you

There will be no dandelions
this spring
No roses this summer
No leaves of autumn's color
Without the smile of you

Twenty-four notes
Eight lines of three
With my silver trumpet
I bade farewell to thee

The sky was blue
The air was (so) cold
The flag was presented
After the fold

Soldiers from every branch
Stood at attention
Raised their rifles and fired
As it was standard convention

That's when I played taps
The ancient rendition
Not a sound could be heard
Storied conviction

I played taps
With a silver trumpet
On a cold day in January
And I can't forget it

I ran the race so I could win
But only lost before I won
I crossed the line to be the first
But came in last in every way
You don't have a clue as to know about what I have to say
Just remember that when you have done it all
There's nothing left  
except to pass away

I raise my glass
Before the fast
I raise my glass
Before the last
I raise my glass
To all my lovers
To all those known
And undercover

I toast the days
We never had
I toast dear friends
That now lay dead
I toast the mystery
Of all our lives
And to the Big one
That lays ahead

I will miss the
Moon and stars
I will miss the
Muscle cars
I will miss
Nary a war
That claimed the youths
Who've passed through
Heaven's door

So I raise my glass
To all our health
So raise your glass
Be blessed in wealth
So raise our glass
'fore the clock
Strikes the twelfth
Before our time
Is no more

I open up your letter
and I read your every word
I found them quite unsettling
for it was just yesterday
That they put you in your grave

Should I keep these empty pages ?
After all now you have gone
*** MARKED FOR A MAKEOVER
"I can change and bring you
a brand new beautiful song ."

But your chorus has been depleted
There are no more a capellas
The voice of the turtle will remain mute
As you prefered living inside your bony shell


Then I said to you , "Now do I really give a hoot ?"


So I threw your letter into the can
That's where the trash belongs
I know I will never forget you
With that thought I will be moving on

I didn't want to
Wasn't planning to
It just happened
like spontaneous combustion

or maybe like Ken used to say
It was osmosis

The thought came to me
One I used to have when I was a kid
When running through the Queen of the forest
One I long ago dismissed
That there was joy in make believe , happiness in magic

A silver sliver pricked my thoughts
Told me hey you , you are not what you're ought
Then kicked pixie dust
in my face

Strange I wasn't angry
Strangely I felt elated
I felt rejuvenated
As magic lit up my way

Everything turned new
Blues were no longer blue
Nor was I inclinded to stay in bed

I know what you're thinking
What's got into his head
Where is he going with all that's said

Exactly !

I remember all the best
deep when in my midnight's rest

Now I remember the warm moist kiss
that brings tears to my aged dry eyes

I remember riding bicycles under October's cloudy skies

Knowing now there's no answers to all my whys

Now there is no chance
No turning back
No need be looking back for just a glance
Because you won't be there

So the memories have been written off the page
But the recovery has all been staged
Turn your head and say
to the ghosts of another day . . .

   "I wish you well ."

Just as when we were
all so naive in our wildest dreams
We never thought or stopped to learn how to grieve

Now all I can say . . .

       "I wish you well."

I remember all the best
Deep in my midnight's rest
Now I remember the kiss
that brings tears to my eyes
I remember riding bicycles
Under October skies
Now there is no chance
No turning back
Or looking back to glance
Because you will not be there

So the memories have been
Written off the page
The recovery has all been staged
Turn your head and say
To the ghosts of another day
I wish you well
Just as when we were all so naieve
In our wildest dreams
we never thought to learn to grieve
Now all I can say . . .
I wish you well

I rode in the black back seat
at the age of three
From Wichita to Selma
in this land where nothing comes free

Across Texas , Arkansas , Mississippi
under stars I dreamed
While a heartbeat
was ever following me

Strange the things we choose
to remember and recall
Are the things maybe trivial
But are another brick in the wall

I lived in Panama City
until I was twelve
Swam with sharks and rays
Fell in love but on it I won't dwell

I ran with wild mustangs
in the wilds of Spokane
Climbed up the Rockies
Trekked the snows in a winter wonderland

I slept in the desert under
the most gorgeous stars
Ate mushrooms and peyote
trying to figure out who I are

But there's no place
No place , like the one
Where you were born

No place
on earth
Can lead you away that's far

There's no where
Like the dirt running
through your veins

There's no place
like the place where
you got your name

I rose before the dawn
As Jesus did of long ago
But I rolled away no rock
Begging all my sins to go

The chirpping of the birds
Tends to let me know
That soon the sun will come
And the night will surely go

But in the stillness
Of my father's ways
I am counting down the blessings
Bestowed upon me today

And as the coming light
Lightens up my darkest days
I find that eternal peace
Has entered into my ways

I sailed away from the
Bay of Dismay
Of my recent past

I left the land
of the midnight's voice
I buried the remains

Now I long to return
To dig up all
That could remain

But I would imagine
Not even worms
Would be in the remains

It's been
Way too long
To learn how to sing

Since cancer cut me down
I only hope I will fly
With my broken wings

No I will not return
For the truth died there
As the bell of life so tolls

Is HP an old folks home. Some are younger poets that are in pain and the rest are old poets that are a pain ?

Is it whiskey watered down or
watered down whiskey ?

Does it take a cloudy day
to have clouds in your eyes ?

Is a hands on job a snake handler or someone who is handy at their job ?

Is a highway ****** madness
or a lowway when it goes under an overpass ?

Should books be read before they are burned ?
What about people ?

Those who shout
"In the name of God !"
Don't know his name

Which comes first
an afterlife or afterdeath ?
For they can't exist in the same entity at the same time

And finally for the most important of all ; do cats stray out of curiosity or does curiosity make cats stray ?

While I'm just staring off into space

Through the interior of a ghost

In the midst of mists

Closed eyes in my bliss

Atop the cliffs above the sea

Strolls at night on the river's levee

In a crowd on Beal Street
listening to the blues beat

Laying in the bottom of a rowboat
Looking at stars as I float

How I hate isolation

I scramble my words like my eggs
Sometimes they are whole
Sometimes hardboiled

I pluck my words off the vine
Super fresh only in my mind

Sometimes it is potted meat
Some call it instant karma

More so lately all my words seemed canned
So it is with words of spam

I switched browsers from Chrome to Duckduckgo and I have no more problems with my screen hopping around or trouble posting poems .

Sitting for hours in the dark
even all night long

Two days didn't eat
I'll have that black coffee now

Days turned to weeks
Forty pounds gone , still no sleep

My mind's stuck , like an LP skip
Saying over and over . . . over and over

Inside the black is dimimg fast
Shivering my skin is as cold as ice

More coffee , my how fine instant tastes
Spins the wheels on mental race

The sun sets once more upon the stage
I bow acknowledging the audience

Thunderous applause inside my head

I think it's time
Surely its come
To open the door
and begin to run

I thought I wanted to write a poem
mistakingly I guess I'm not .
Thought I could create something
masterful
I guess that idea is shot
Like false labor pains
I  thought it was going to come
But the pains just faded away
Now I know it's naught
My muse used to dance and sing
After midnight by the clock
Lately it's been going to bed
around eight thirty or nine o'clock
So I'm left out by myself
trying to do my best
But my best is pathetic
it simply can't pass the test
So now I say goodnight my friends
As I leave you with this mess

I threw my poem to the wolves
They then tore apart
every word
They swallowed down all the thread
then they languished
for soon they fled

For this was nothin̈g new
Just another sitting
on a Sunday church pew
For every poem has its cross to bear
Before it's cruxified
and rise in air

It might be painful
It might be disdainful
It might be lightning
It is so frightening
Could be the thunder
That has my number
It could be Jesus knocking
concerned about my mocking
It could be my future
or my lack of culture
It could be those fried reasons
maybe it's Jackie Gleason
It could be the hollow
that always seems to follow
me into the night
so black without any sight
It could be a light
from my star at height
tumbling through the heavens
or bread that is unleavened . . .

All I know is it just happened
while I was here just napping

It's complicated
like riding a bicycle
rolling dice
falling in love

It's dedicated
like a song
a book
to a heart

It's laminated
like a card
a pass
pictures of you

It's terminated
like a library card
love
then life

I heard it in a song
I felt it in the breeze
It held me all night long
Called to me from across the seas

The spirits be unleashed
I hear it in their moans
Will their agony be released
They can't find their way back home

Never to be body done
Barb wire and reds for breath
From beginning of the bone
to the door of death

spiritually uneasy
just looking for a way back home

The wind blows across the bay
You say it's time to let it go
I turn to face the force
You're right , inside I know

I bend to the sand
let the grains run through my life
I stand straight , face my fate
Embrace the strife

Like a book overdue
A page ripped out
A heart mutilated
A charge turned to rout

The wind has increased
The clouds roll in
And I know what happens
to houses
Built on sand

If in nothing
   then in all
Must I sin
   to be saved
Must I wrong
   to be absolved

Forgiveness comes
   at such a cost
Must I pierce the heart
   to come in lost

In the darkness
   in the light
In the confusion
   of the night

You can call it incoherent
   incompetence
You can call it a
   deterrence
  
Just don't call it a
****** innocence

I call myself
I fall myself
Too tall of a mountain
to climb
to be bookshelved
without a reason


I paid the price
There's no doubt
the flames burned out
All that remains
are the ashes doussed

All alone in the dim
Where all my fantasies
seem so slim
Where all chances
have evaporated
Full of nothing to the brim

Missing the someone's
whispers of night
Takes out the control right ?
But the "you" memories are made
The music played
The sorrow displayed

The ache soothed by
the medicinal *****
Watching the moonlight
fade away as it moves
Finding all my madness
in the black of blues

It was a long way there
The struggle conquered
Acceptance and congratuations
were abundantly spread
The offers poured in
So many were the choices to be made

The years were productive
The appreciation spread
The satisfaction warmed my heart
I had it made all the way to my grave

It was a long way there
but now I see
It's much longer coming back