Cuts of grass
leaves in the wind
   a moment to be free

Breathe, heavy sigh
a corpse of time
   death but long slept eyes

Oversharing life on feeds
overshadow foreshadowing needs
    it will all end in the usual tears

A love for I—selfish
a love undeserving—relish
   loving honestly, what is a blemish

Feast your eyes on food for thought
and with sweet nothings sought
   afterwards do keep their word

Life is a written poem
a river of those words flowing
  to know where we are, to keep on going

The self delusion, of inclusion
I skip a few steps to a conclusion
Being walked over; what's the conclusion
With just a hint of acceptance,- still a bit clueless
And a bit full of myself, but mostly foolish
Trying to live life twice, with a bucket list full of ice;
There's always that cold stare in my eyes; all jokes aside,
Society is always just a ride, and a few nights before,
I had lost my license for having a drive, still putting
All the many, many leftovers of my mind to the side
An appetite for destruction; a self destructive path,
All walks of life, and a few steps into showing my wrath
Sometimes a bit too dark; forgetting the oil in my lamp
But I get too comfortable in loneliness,- on depression's lap
I sold all of my wounds, but wound up feeling a loss,
At every cost of being too holy, as the holes in old socks
A really stinky attitude, stingy for showing any form of love,
I held on my arm, armed with a crude remark, just for who you are
And like this piece, everything seems to be happening far too long
////
////
////
For the old me and for us both, it's time to stop!

A master calls on an international call,
as your visa card declined; no more flying in all your love dreams
Using a MasterCard to pay for smiles; but your smiles are fairy tale,
with all those Cinderella moments of wanting to go to a ball
Go out in the world, and have your heart stolen by a Robin hood,
for you once had a rich worth, but love treated you in poor tastes
And you never found the right steps to fall in love again,—never
fitting into that glass shoe

You were a snow white in pieces,
with a dress stained in blood; not as pure as before
Your prince charming left you in creases
pressed on you—as not all first impressions are like
that waking kiss. It’s often best to remain sleeping

As human instinct holds onto a past with a hand of hook,
we’re pirating on old joys. I love to recall the honeymoon period of
relationships. When the honey was still sweet, and sweet nothings
blocked my ears from all the buzzing bees.
I enjoyed that type of love, where we’d communicate constantly,
and speak to each other across a room, with just a look

My only want, is to love someone not for their value
in my life, but what value they have for themselves
And not on the ways they’d  show me a beautiful appearance
only in secret, — I won’t love you in secret!
Let down your hair, so I can climb the towers of your thoughts,
my only Rapunzel; it’s only for me to play with your hair
And firstly loving you as a friend, before I ever made you a wife
I’d cherish the treasures of your eyes, the gold hidden in a sight,
never buried from the world, — I won’t love you in secret

As love is fairy tale; only for the few to author
a better conclusion

Narrating their values, fears, and boundaries,
and in this composition of expectations,
least expect that happily ever after final kiss

Cos love is a risk, an untameable beast
that takes less of those outward appearances,
and rather what you’re willing to put in

      ...XOXO, choose and make out how you want the story to go.

Father God,

Shedding light on the matter—the stillness in being in
your presence, is faith to move still mountains.
Let my flesh not be aroused into all manners of the world.
But as I seek new compassion in the romance of reading your
Word—speak through me as your living poem.

Let man behold the promises of you, set in my destiny's
stone. And lead me onto that road; Lord set me straight on the
righteous path you send me to go.

Discipline my heart of it's wickedness, aligning my spirit to
the chords of your love. I'll be your song—a melody symphony
of the Son making a new dawn.

Burn my lips of their scorn, and rest the words of blessing on
my tongue. Let my hands not work to work a way into Heaven.
But let my labour be genuine, my first fruits yours, and always
be thankful of the strength you gave to do all.

And as I lay my head, may my dreams be as sweet as your love.
My dreams also bright as the stars, and that my day's successes
be as righteous as you are. I praise you as the first, and as the last.
Guide my future, teach me in present, and forgive me of sins past.

I bring forth to you this day, and thank you of it whether good,
bad or moderate.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

Always stuck inside a world
******* me over; loves
to fornicate
The mouths with nothing better
to say; just words forming hate
And their eyes filled with ******
violence; it's always focused hate

As I was close to meeting death's deadline,
not even given two weeks notice
They assumed I was too weak to notice
as the smell of death was red, like a
resting bed of roses; in a garden
grave I lay
But maybe nowadays I'd be seeing songs
about how graves turn into gardens
Still it's grave for me to say, I'm still on
that path of feeling saved
As I could probably count all my prayers,
and dig up that dusty Holy text in my drawer
that's like the book's final grave

I figure that the figures counting
out another day
Are what we figure gives us a little
hope of being figures to this world,
That still live to see tomorrow by
heaven's sake

In the tender years of my youth, at the age of sixteen, my prayers
soared high, burdened by doubts and fears, I yearned to remain
unseen - I recall the torrents of tears that cascaded when I was
merely ten, for it was in those fleeting moments that I unearthed
my strength within.  

I envisioned a future self, brimming with wisdom by twenty-one,  
a life meticulously charted, a race already won; I dreamt vividly of
a wedding by the age of twenty-three - as a spectacle to impress my
brothers, who loomed like giants to me.  

Once, the shadows were a terror from which I would swiftly flee,  
now they serve as a sanctuary where I sometimes crave to be free.  
I once believed friendship was a vast, bustling expanse, yet I find
solace in the few friendships, where I can truly take a chance.  

And my life remains still unfinished, unfinished as this poem…

The seed in the ground is surrounded by dark –
Under the dark shadow where it’s born,
It waits in hope, every day, every hour
The flower that can only dream of what
It’s meant to be, still as a seed

And the day will come, where it’s hope
Isn’t so dark; for hope begins in the dark –
As you only value a spark when it clears out
The dark; there where life is; you can find
Hope in the most unlikely places

We bear in our eyes, struggles heavy in tears
Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and years
Close to the edge of a breaking point
But once that beautiful hope finally comes out
Won’t you ask, “where have you been hiding”

Love isn't always euphoric –
Authentic love is a profound joy;
Unwavering support, those who
Stand as pillars in your life

Supported by one's feet, but...
Love isn't always euphoric –

   Some pillars do fall!

The song of your heart calls
my ears by your chorus.
I've heard the cries of a new litter,
Cries of their mother's milk,
yearning to be heard.

So I've heard a familiar cry of my own
in my soul.
Darling do you hear my love's  
calls and yearns?

Under the glory of the Sun,
we've been burnt to the very hurt.
It hurts to be alone,
never to taste love on the lips.
Instead we've tasted a lust of
power and sin.

O darling where to begin?

From the first stretch of time,
The first depth of love,
the first Man and Woman.

An apple of their eye,
but not of each other.

Serpents will whisper desires in our hearts.
Far it being the desire of one another.
My sights of you seemed to change.  Yet for long I've seen you exposed.

It all went so wrong.

What does the future now hold
for all man kind?
What does the Lord hold
for us in his great plan?

The tears of yesterday
have become the air of today;
-memories gone in the wind
Maybe you forgot how to breathe
taking so much of yourself out;
-you must of forgot how to take things in

Don't worry- you'll cry a lot,
just to live a little.

The moon and the stars are awake early tonight, singing a rather familiar song to me,
Where is the sun, probably playing hide and seek behind the mountain tops. That we all can see.
So let's dance around the Heaven's night skies well we all still young,
Before the sun comes around to bring another day and more age, before we lose all this time of fun.

Better tell the moon and the stars to sing it once again,
We'll all be singing together in Heaven one day, I just don't know when.

You count the stars, I'll kiss the moon,
you lose the time, I'll pray right now, till we both gazing at sunlight's noon.
Then you count the stars some more I'll wish my moon a goodnight,
We'll both lose the time but let's pray about it for a little while, I know we'll be quite alright.

And you better be telling the moon and the stars to sing it once again,
Because we'll all be singing together in Heaven one day, I just don't know when.

While we wait for that day, I'll light up the skies with this one match stick at hand,
you pick your star, I'll light the flame and we'll fill the skies more than ocean's sand.
Dance around the moon a couple of times, till the sun comes out,
till we grow so tired, till our feet, they ache, till the Sun knows what we all about.
From Sunday to another Sunday, we'll do circles around the moon and the stars, till the Heaven's would feel like joining us,
Then we'll dance some more and some more again, till all our time has come to pass.

Till we all telling the moon and the stars to sing it once again,
Because we'll all be singing together in Heaven one day, for our Father God knows the time, he surely knows when.

And time may chase us down from far behind, but we'll be too far ahead, And we may have one night to do this all, but I would rather do this a thousand times instead .
So I'll enjoy it all, all that it is,
And we'll be dancing in the moon's and star's tune, so come now, everybody please.

Tell the moon and stars once again to sing that song,
We'll all have a party in Heaven,
We'll all be moons and stars,
We'll all have a go to sing along.

Till all our earthly time is done, when our bodies have turned to dust,
The Heaven's skies will sing, so in these few moments, we'll make our moment last.

Learning on how to pray—kids without suits or ties
Trying to make tradeoffs for mercy, with our
little pocket change for tithes

"I need to change" I say on the Sunday
"don't forget about that sermon," by Monday
trying to keep my weight all on the Tuesday

Forgetful as always on Wednesday
thirsty in my spirit and my flesh by Thursday
planning out how to sin on the highs of Friday
my throat is too dry for asking for forgiveness by
the end of Saturday

So glad to make it back again to another Sunday

To love to be loved
letting being known that I'm only trying
Still don't know how much time I have
to fill up one of my cups
Still being charmed by these scars
still chasing the rush, like a dog chasing cars

And still it's not over until you've said it's over
posing questions- am I still worthy
and not just a poser

Yes, I am still worthy, in the openness of
my faith; my God that calls me closer
Here's the closer, the curtains soon fall
towards the end. A never-ending endeavour,
we live in a world only to last a moment
And in heaven we'll be golden forever, and
ever, Amen.

Screen testing, screen testing – I start my days wondering how I’m
supposed to play the role to my life. I have a TV screen for my past,
to better watch my back. Most days I’m too caught up on channelling
my fears, for whatever reward I believe – they'll never pay me back;
they're just all looking for payback.

My overthinking sometimes, works overtime – trying to be a good
figure; putting words into action, to be an action figure. How would
you figure, that out of the bunch of men, you could stand out of the
rest?

And wouldn’t it be funny if the woman of my dreams told me, "you
need to rest" – only taking her advice, if she's the better dream out of
the rest.

For not all men can swallow their pride; others survived gallons –
but in short, a man would do it for the right gal. You tell him, "you'll
never get that girl," his pride starts to see a challenge. A greater pride,
chases tale to make it a talent – that man seems challenged!

Every day is a just balance of challenge – wealth we scavenge, our
dreams live as memory stores; we store up what we value the most.
We look at tomorrow for what's in store; born out of love just for most
of us to go and create war.

Speaking highly of yourself, often speaking down on someone else–
speaking life into a child's life, speaking ill on them when you grow
so sick of them. In the end, we are just words.

Oh, is the sweet and delicate embrace; such a tight
and warm hug, but it had smashed my bouquet of flowers.
I picked you out of the bunch; I wandered down a forest trail
brushing with death- a kiss by her lips. And around me, was the
sight of your experienced skins; carpeted with yellow leaves, blessed
by the caressing sun. The cool of your eyes- is a walk by the lagoon,
your warm bud of tears falls into my eyes, and swell it up, to bloom.
The Sun rules over our lives, that Moon quietly covers our pain with
those nights of laughter; the canopy of our dreams, quietly fall away
as like the leaves. My tongue bares roots, and my words do try to promise
flowers- with every saturated thought, shaped out as petals opened wide.
The first time I saw it, I was entirely unaware of what waited below my lows.

To— step out of myself, was the place our story had begun. And to this,
each tree I see around me, reminds me of you- the first tree I as a child,
were brave enough to climb.

Do as you thrive,
-Oops,
I must of seen the temptation in your eyes,
While catching a bit of summer in your smile
****, never thought it could be much brighter
Inside;- still for a while, I'll give it all a second chance,
Having you for seconds, in time and a meal of love
Still I'll put you first, grinding my gears in my mind
I'm always a better takeoff in second

-Wait, wait,
Don't you ever rush me to say, "I love you"
That's a bit of a touchy subject, for someone who hasn't
Been touched in a while. But it's good of you, to touch
Me on my left side, which is the right side for an honest smile

Honestly,
I'm not looking to be your next guy, the other guy, the new guy,
Or even at least YOUR guy,- just call me a friend, for being perfect
Friends at the start; give me some time to get a little close to you
I'm still opening up my heart

Skipping stones, and skipping rope
while skipping past all the cringy memories
All from the days of skipping a few classes,
sometimes skipping ahead in movies to the exciting scenes
As all the time feels like it's skipping away at the pace of
these days,

—Death in the end, has nobody in this life to skip

There's a party I'd like for you all to attend,
partly- to spill yourself over; it's all in my head
And I'm so in over my head, like the thoughts
of getting to the top, with a sprinkle of fame
A bit of extra money toppings, and not being deserted
once they forget your name

Fill up a couple of balloons with oxygen to speak your dreams,
out of breath by the tenth one; saying things in haste
Everything blows away in the wind,
when you eventually lose all of your breath
I could be a bit depressed, but I'll move on from the feeling,
so anyways  I do digress...

Pour out a line of drinks in that chlorine smell,
compare them to the pools of tears I drowned myself in
I had a stroke of ideas, with the chest to commit to them all,
a bit of breaststroke, and I'm still learning how to swim

There's a couple of snacks and snakes,
one to bite into and to bite back
Have a bit of a hiss after every person you kiss,
tell a sweet lie in between pretty lips
And tell them you had a good time, with a bit
of awkward thanks

Play some music, and tune into your negative emotions,
motivate yourself with someone else's motivating quotes
And to quote, "Just one small positive thought
in the morning can change your whole day.”- Dalai lama
I wonder what thought of quote I have at night,
once it's the end of that day

It's always so loud,
especially it all being a party in my head!

Maybe I’m a wind-up toy robot, blindly walking down this path,
maybe I’m a pullback toy car, moving forward by taking a few
steps back. Maybe I’m a box of random Lego pieces, building up
a life, without an instruction manual, maybe I’m just a firecracker,
exploding with less passion – so I sometimes add fuel.

Maybe I’m the one trapped in the castle; quietly hoping the world
doesn’t see a man battling his own dragons, as a damsel, maybe I
don’t know how to fight for myself, cos I was shown that fighting
as a believer isn’t a good example.

Maybe I’m looking for love, just because everyone seems to be  
falling in love, maybe I’m trying to fit my hand in everything,
to protect myself from failure – wearing all the title gloves.

Maybe, maybe, maybe – but all the maybes aren’t always the
possibilities we want. So maybe I should instead be more definite
on all the needs I want.

What is the definition of one man's sanity
In a hope of finding something clear in his clarity
And yet to be a custom to something of not
Tying the endless lopes of a never ending knot.

Often there's a lot of things in life I can't really handle,
Burnt out like an old waxy candle.

Asking myself where you place your own loyalty at
Be it the love, girls, money or fame, tell me where your own clarity at.
If this be the last days on this Earth what would you have done
Who or what would be the last you hold in your arm till it all became to none.

And what would be the point at a cutting's edge.
Where would falling man hang by the close peeks of the ledge.
What close cards are you holding to the dealt hand
What's the fallen tears you're hiding in the Ocean's sand.

Often so in life there's days I could be feeling so rich
Yet old days I feel drowned out in an empty ditch.

Buying fake love yet for the moment feels so easy to get
But my mistake would be for taking it all as real. Placed my heart out there amongst the playing set.

But I couldn't bare to be alone,
Living in a big house all on my own,
Have no close friends call me on the phone,
Blowing birthday candles, eating my ice cream in an empty cone.

I just wouldn't want to be alone.

Sometimes though I could drive myself to be paranoid
Working the hardest of days on my heart but never be employed.

I'd hate to think that I ain't at people's level or in their atmosphere,
Or to think that I could be all that's left coming out of the Earth's rear.

This could be an endless Black Paranoia.

I don't mean to embarrass
While all the good times has Us..
I know this night could probably grow jealous..
Drinking with the girls tonight, while I hang with the fellas.

You were caught by my eye
No words when you passed by
Failed that much to say a word, failed that much to say HI.

I was stuck right on you
While the night lights were on,
Your face repeated to me a favourite song

Walk up your walk to say this much, but I just made a confession..

I don't understand how I can stay by myself
Not wasting my time for something else
Spending my hours all on your health
With the little money of both wealth.

But if we fall down, then we can fall down together
They'll see me as a fool in love, they'll never see me clever.
If we fall down then let's fall down together
They'll say we'll never last that long, but we'll do this till forever.

I don't mean to embarrass
But I'm feeling quite polite to your manners
We just here for a good time, will you gladly have us
It's just me and the fellas.

But I just don't want to embarrass.

Ghost fires,
blaze away at the spirit
At the core
is the very essence of child
A fallen being,
also a flame yearning to rise.

The ashes of old
have come to be grey,
And in beauty
the growth of a Rose.

Bright and red
like the flames that conceived her
Rising to kiss the sky,
but knows to defend herself.

To the world,
a sure thorn to it's side
But to it's people,
an example to live with a spine.

From Fires that created,
she's a blazing storm of worth
From Earth that holds,
she knows her very roots
And Water that calms,
life in her does surely flow.

As is the life of her.

Tranquillity and wealth; boundless treasures can feel almost
like a torment—a magnificent chandelier in the heavens
merely flickers like a cluster of torches.

Triumphs and setbacks; would the spotlight still shine on
those who remain oblivious to your struggles?

A.. a nation of great, surely this is our land.
Amongst us all is it's people, all many jewels of different colour and brand.

F... fought for this very freedom we bare today, that we got from fighting so long and hard.
Many chained and shackled, many fallen heroes, many more of them still bared.

R... righteous shall a nation like us stand through the test of time,
Hold dearly to yourself this land of many colours, aged to perfection like a glass of the best tasting wine.

I... in darkness we have fallen so many times, losing the worth of our very jewels.
Faced by the very controls of this man, all their policies and all the government rules.

C.. can we not stand strong together my brothers and sisters, stand strong and block out all our enemies as a great nations wall.
The world at many times may try to tear us down, but my dear Africa shall we not walk tall.

A... and as the days may pass a thousand times,
Yes we may lose many people, many lives but don't get caught up in all the lies.

For this is your home, were your mother feeds your mouth for your stomach to be so full.
So do not seek another hand to try feed you and take her place , don't play the other fool.

Speak proud of your nation, bless it well with your words,
For many spoils follow us, so many hopes and dreams flying in our airs like our beautiful birds

So my dear jewels of her Nation Great Africa,
May this Africa day be always the best.
Speak well of your nation, for you were born to be her people and surely not part of the rest.

This is, Our Africa

Stuck in the places'
Stuck in all of the memories,
Memos or diaries, making a mental note
To a metal heart of steel you somehow stole

And maybe I would like to see it all
A perfect view of you; by this naked eye
Of your most vulnerable parts
The box, the pillows and haunch,
Buried in, resting peacefully with all I've carried for the day,
All of which is now left behind

What limits us to the night
But just time running another marathon on the clock?
The running sweat of an out of breath experience,
My thoughts tied with yours, and tightened by these feelings

Triple D's,

Die for feeling so alive in you
Dye my past experiences in the colours of our skin's touch
Dining on you like my very last.

                      ALL SO NECCESARRY, AND A MUST

Falling quietly into your arms,
still the loudest echo of falling love
Swept of the ground;
as closely to my steady feet, I can't brush off feelings
Or find a reason not place volumes of my pride,
announcing who you are to me
But I often feel as a selfish sinner to say,
"you should belong to me"
And I am like a mirror in your room,
reflecting on your beauty, as the first to see it in the morning,

To be a night-gown that covers you in warmth and comfort,
a resting pillow to the dreams still twined in your hair
And you being a thought resting on my head, of a brain chair;
feeling rude to stare, as you climb into my eye's sight
of your beauty step by step, of your glorious stairs,

Despite you not seeing me, above all those others chasing,
their desires of power they wish they could own, to own you
To enthrone you; those who once sat on their own thrones,
they have polished themselves, for you to sit on top of their heads
I doubt you care; as like a child with someone else to worry
responsibly for their younger's responsibilities,

Still would you ever consider to indulge in me,
with the dews of my eyes and sheering shy smile
I do try and try, till my tired is tired of being tired,
and my spark dies out for the night- lit again by seeing
you another day, and I continue on being fired,

But in the eyes of a looker-on, I'm fried;
spared no sympathy for showing such a simp in me
In the pits of my emotions, falling deeper and deeper,
and I pray in the end that someone would pity me.

The ear bends to sound–
as does the ground, to the man
in the weeds; tangled by their doubts.
Wet eyes, as the sea; stained cheeks
I follow an emptiness with the fullness
of hope; to the bending sounds of knees

click, click!

My body starts to feel like wet pavement –
a couple slip ups, for the mind to easily recall
Anxious slow breaths, exhaling and inhaling
I cry out, “I don’t want to do this life anymore”

Taking a moment to clear out that sound,
bending backwards; but why for them, at all
These inner voices, are all so FREAKING loud  

Wait no, my insecure self, is just talking to itself.

You don’t know how to party;

this is the part where you admit that you only love me partly –
and this is why we’re feeling each other with no emotion. And for
the interest of love: you’re a bank that’s hardly open. Some days
you’re such are keeper, other times I’m your secret keeper – so dark,
so deep, the secrets that you keep; telling me how to taste all the
lies on your lips.

Burning me inside; dreaming of your fiery lips – there’s that filth
in driving my thoughts into you; taking ourselves to a gearing fifth.
You and I are both ******* up sometimes, like this world – where
man screws mother nature; treating her like a ****.

And that's why we’re not the love for each other; when the love
we have for one another, comes from a place of where we’re both
still trying to understand who we are to each other.

We forgot the part, where we're supposed to be lovers!

We live under tears,
of a spirit' paradise,
in the force of darkness,

a cloud above of all fears,
tiny thoughts in history,

the past changed by present,
as it decides the futures to reside.

We are the dreams undreamed,
believers of things unseen,

great beings in our spirit,
only trapped in earthy skins,

Fallen short at our birth,
a black vein of sins,
but we're all redeemed.

We are strangers of this world,
visitors into it' reigns,
footsteps for children that follow,

As we walk in the todays;
for all our young,
to have a better tomorrow.

As we are more than skins,
bones, hearts, and brains;
in spirit, we are more.

As within soul,
there's a vigour of joyous growth,

though we feel less in this world,

In the realms far ahead,
we're all beings of endless more.

I’m unravelling, caught in the whirlwind of my thoughts; and if
I take my last breath; I’ll seal it with a prayer. I’d ponder,
“Where have you wandered, where have you fled— was that a
thinking cap or merely a shattered crown?” Seeking sanctuary
for my restless mind, as we all drift gently away from all the
burden of days

Drawing the curtains, teetering on the brink, weighing down
under the weight of endless days; I’m a heart-shaped fortress,
striving to guard love, yet I loathe it when some of it finds
a way to escape.  

I would grow weary of clinging tightly if my grasp was the
sole reason for their turmoil. They’ll entomb your tale within the
verses, preserving the melody. It’s a heart-wrenching feeling,
striving to hold onto those, we’ve lost. In the quest for what
remains elusive, we often lose our way in love. Yet, may God
grant them the resilience to continue holding on.

Vultures fill my skies, preying on me.
Don't pray patience, already have enough of that.
Behind the disguise of the vultures in my skies, I'm only seeing black.

Preying birds while I don't pray much for mercy.
Having the weight of the world on my shoulders. Don't wait along for me.

For right now I face against myself and the many demons trying to hurt me.

And we both take to this heart of mine as work of art,
No wonder why we both prey for it's prize.
But to us both we're on fallen grounds, both hoping to rise.

Preying thoughts while praying on Love to rescue me.
Vultures in the air tonight. Wasn't it already dark enough.

But I hope no man to follow in these footsteps, better yet don't follow me.
Not looking for the pain inside of me to be the honesty of my mind, just looking out for Love.

So don't prey on me.

It seems my emotions must find their rest,
Yet slumber eludes me-, a constant test.
As torment resides, reflected in my gaze,
Slowly turning to ashes-, tomorrow's haze.

Once, I was lost in dreams, in a forest so grand,
But now my skin feels naught, scorched by the land.
As the same scorching heat, consuming the trees,
Leaving me numb, devoid of all pleas.

As reality peels off my eyes, like a fleeting tattoo,
Where nothing feels real-, a transient view.
Mirrors shattered, in a mind of fragile glass,
A fractured reflection, and a mask that won't last.

Sorrowful tears, with impure intent,
Washing away all, as they're freely spent.
Like water beneath my sink, dripping away,
Taking with it all, in a sorrowful sway.

Vultures I rely on, hoping to evade,
Becoming their prey, in this world's cruel charade.
For it's easy to be devoured, my dear,
In this unforgiving world, where shadows leer.

If I could die,
I could die for you someday.
When the worlds on fire,
burning in flames of denial,
Can I at least do something?

I really wouldn't mind,
to be on fire.
So just stay alive.

I really wouldn't mind,
if you could rise when it's all falling.
Just find the time,
the time to stay alive.

Tears slip down my face like rain,
My eyes the wettest they've ever been.
Only in the night do they find release,
Aching with pain that will not cease.

But in the darkness, the moon appears,
A comforting presence to calm my fears.
It shines a light on my troubled soul,
And reminds me that I am whole.

Within my mind, a house does stand,
A place of wonder, a dreamland.
Imagination runs wild and free,
A world of endless possibility.

My heart is not a heart at all,
But a forest, both big and small.
Seeds of passion grow and thrive,
But weeds of wickedness do strive.

And in my soul, a fire burns bright,
A beacon of warmth in the night.
But a devil lurks, waiting to pounce,
To extinguish the flames, to denounce.

Sometimes I'd cheat on myself just to get the feel,
Pinch myself if I'm dreaming to feel what's real.

And I can't deny
How often I'd fall quick to lie.
Still I try the best to move past that. I do try.

While acting camera shy
Behind the lens I'll often cry
I can't deny.

While the days will wait on my arrival,
They'll wait that long enough it's best to idle.
For I spent most time designing myself by vinyl.

By then pinch me if I'm dreaming that often. But I'll pray never to wake.
For the Lord's sake
Add more flavor to my self raising Heart to then bake.

Pinch me then
If the first pinches aren't working that much. We're probably by ten.
Still I'll pray never to wake by then.

I'll ignore the hurt,
Pray for wakeness to be foreign to me.
By then
We'll be at this course of this dream  once again.
Try me that much and I'll show you what's the True worth.

I've somewhat been a fool,
as it always seemed foolish to be in love
But still if I could never get enough
of falling another day in love with you,
—I'd proudly be so full of myself.

When the day ends;
you make me wish the sunlight could stay,
Longer hours with you;
we don't spend enough time in the day.

Hourglass figures; individuals who invest countless hours crafting
a glass figure. When life tosses you around, you’re bound to shatter –
so meagre!

You repugnant creature, crumbling and oozing into this vessel, as
the grains of sand cascade within all the time you thought your
beauty had bought. You gaze at it, chasing the dazzling glow of
notoriety, unaware that such brilliance will gnaw away at your very
bones, leaving you broken and cold.

Within the heart of every renowned star lies a tumultuous inferno,
a labyrinth of madness that serves as your ultimate reward.

I’ve lost the art of praying for love;
Instead, I’m constantly praying for cause
Cause what’s the point of a lover’s love,
Without it coming alongside a real cause?

Cause you may say you love me
Professing your love with all your heart –
But in return; you go, and break my heart
Being the cause to my unstable mental state,
Being less of a state – more of a mental break.

So, please, apply your brakes, before you
Lay your heart bare before me – dreading
The thought of chronicling you as one of
My many, many mistakes; as your pretend
Love, served as that very cause.

These are all of the wrong things we shouldn't
do- like two people stuck in the back room,
Still kissing as kids in the back of a classroom;
the lessons I had chalked down in my mind
Maybe we were a bit too bored,
in a morbid dream, of the subjects of life we'd ignore
As I saved up my battery life on being any more
social; in between naughty late night texts
And saving up a little extra money to make a late night call,

"Maybe if I got a good job, I could afford a girl,"
a usual statement I had long before
Though nowadays I can't afford any more time,
to work up the nerve to talk to girls at all
But it's a bit of a lie, when you hang out with the guys,
making fools of selves; filling up the time of a long night
-Those morning after' start to fill empty,
trying to swallow down a few words like a necessary pill
It all starts to feel like those daily supplements
fussing about all those other things everyone fusses about,

I started to feel like the empty space above this line,
blanking out with that pretty smile in my eyes
Hoping they at least seen some of the charm I had,
while looking so intimidating, when I had nothing better to say,
The awkward type of thinking how I could have kissed someone
a little more better than I did yesterday,

A beginners luck kind of life; waiting for it to be your last,
as I think to myself, reminding myself, rewinding myself
back to those days, of chasing hypes in the highs of youth
-****, I can't pretend that I never enjoyed such a rush.

Blinds descend upon the windows of my soul,
protecting my thoughts that are delicate as glass
Behind me, beyond myself – I gazed beyond
My façade.

I ventured past the exterior— the interior,
yearning to be recognized as a blossom,
and not merely as a
Stubborn ****.

Would someone kiss me, and not make believe –
to make me believe, that their touch won’t
Last me that long.

I’ve known a version of myself
one that’s been way too sad
For long.

To what end,
do we keep
Looking for hope
In empty songs?

"Singing to myself"

So kept at odds
a life in a mirror; reflective ways
cracking, cracking smiles to see
a fragile side. To make love in front
of a mirror, yet she's the only one to see
herself cry

His breath is vile, heavy smoked
and coughs in between—spitting exhaust
Speaking pleasurable remarks,
but all but unpleasant words in her bones

She should of spent the night sleeping alone
shouldn't have answered his call
shouldn't allowed herself to be called a *****
shouldn't have forgotten about his wife at home
shouldn't allowed herself to be a side piece
a piece of guilt in her side; she has no peace
being chased by a dog, why they called her a *****

"No, no, you're just my side chick
a reason enough when my wife has had enough"
"No, no, you're just my side chick
I'm serious about you, but we're just having fun"
"No, no, you're just my side chick
I'll feed you and your family, and buy you a house"
"No, no, you're just my side chick
she's not around with the kids, but move in caution"
"No, no, you're just my side chick
I won't pay for another child, here's a number for an abortion"
"No, no, you're just my side chick
I can't always be there for you when you're lonely"
"No, no, you're just my side chick
wrinkles on clothes, ***** texts; don't air out my ***** laundry

"You're just my side chick, my side chick"
said an old man to a young naive girl.

You deserve more of
what you get,
Little glances at you
more than enough to make any fall
Tis be like a season of love
long before the spring of roses on Valentine's.

Though I'm still not the biggest
fan of the time
You've blown into my thoughts,
controlling my hearts AC
Forced to adapt

But if I cross my eyes
before you cross my mind as always.
You might see the X right
on my heart.

So you could treasure my
love, cherish it for the worth
Gladden me babe
to gladly be in love with you.

The price of a critically known, costs me being
secretly alone. Torn in all of the successes,
and what it took on all the stages I now perform.
Oh where is my soul, where is my soul?

Children of a whole lot of broken homes,
too broke for the things they can't afford.
I just wanted to buy things I could hold,
a little successful wealth to call my own.
Oh where is my soul, where is my soul?

A crying voice in a cheerful poem,
a choking **** disguised as a rose.
In my heart—all cracks and holes,
and I hope you don't see into it, to question it's morals.
I'm a thousand hurts, in a few hundred acclaimed poems.
Oh where is my soul, where is my soul?

A desire to love; desired to have been loved,
to an open hand joy, not trapped in a glove.
Not laughing at myself, as being less than enough,
feeding on my pleasures, and but still to starve.
I have no place for my heart—but just the scars pus.
Oh where is my soul, where is my soul?

Really I don't know!

a butterfly that would represent
my suicide; is the butterfly effect
that will affect so many people in my life.

🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋