Have you ever wondered what it's like to **** someone?
I have.

I imagined it being an exhilarating experience.
One I will never forget.

Of course, you have to make sure you do it properly.
You don't want to get caught, do you?

I remember her watery, crystal eyes.
Her violet wrists and ankles.

The way her hair stood up when I touched her.
The way she winced whenever my cool blade touched her.

Was she panicking?
Probably.

I remember her gasps for air.
Her hoarse, croaky voice.

One stab.
A velvet sea laid out in front of me.

Two stabs.
Red, glittery hands.

Three stabs.
It's getter harder to see.

Four stabs.
I fall down.

I smear the blood on the wall.
As if it were a cry for help.

I wanted to do this so badly.
Why am I now regretting it?

Guilt swarms my body.
My head aches.

Have you ever wanted to **** somebody?
Because I have.

Today's the day I ****** a blade into my stomach.
A crimson waterfall.

My final words are yours to read.
On this ****** sheet of paper.

Today's the day I shivered with a blade to my wrist.
Hesitation, but the urge to die.

My final words are yours to read.
On this creme coloured wall in red writing.

Today's the day I
died.

I've seen the gates of Heaven.
Pure.
White.
Gates.

Angels are beautiful creatures, aren't they?
They fill some with lust, desire...
They fill me with something nobody else could give.
Love.

I knew when our eyes connected.
You were something special.
You have my glass heart in your hands.
Please don't let it go.

I've been hurt by angels before.
They've taken my heart, handled it with care.
Then smashed it using all their force.
It's taken forever to pick up the pieces.

But by the way you touch me.
Kiss me and tell me I'm pretty.
I can tell you're different.
I can tell you're heavenly.

Black circles under crimson eyes.
Pale, porcelain skin.
Large white wings.
The heart of a saint.

You sink your fingers into my heart.
Squishing and spreading it around.
You dig your own heart from your flesh.
Bloodied fingertips connecting love.

With two hearts together.
You smile at me.
I am certain now.
You can teach me to love again.

White and Fluffy,
Cold, but embracing

The dream,
The nuisance,
The beauty




Yet, I can't find it here.



It's cold

Tracing the lines on your thighs.
I look into your crystal eyes.

Our bodies stick together during humid nights.
Your eyes are stories; bright coloured lights.

Connecting your freckles like constellations.
I try not to give into my temptations.

I reach for your hand under the black sky.
In the dark, nobody can see you cry.

Rest your head on my shoulder and let it out.
I hate how you say you love me with doubt.

We've all got problems, issues of our own.
Nobody needs to go through that alone.

I love you, I touch you every night.
Your neck covered in love-bites.

The only problem I have is loving you.
When you leave, my soul turns blue.

My body radiates like sunlight with you near.
So please, stay tonight, just tonight, my dear.

who was it - walking down the school corridor?

a Spanish teacher?

an honors student?

a football player?

you'll never know; you didn't care.

did it feel good,
mister shooter?
to pull the trigger on

a mother?

a best friend?

a boyfriend?

to take the lives of family and friends and lovers of innocent people?

was seeing those who have hurt you
suffer by your hand
worth a life behind bars?


16 years old

yet you think you have the right to take away life?

Your eyes
As black as the night sky
Completely consumed
By your search of certainty

In this crowded world
Full of uncertainty
Please let me hear
Your name...

There is only one certain thing
On my mind
I want to be with you
Till the end of time

If you are ever scared
Just call my name
I'll be there
Holding you till you feel better

I want to protect you
Whatever is the cost
One day, we will find
A place that belongs just to us.

Do you know who supports you today?
It's yourself from yesterday
No matter how far you've come
You're still mid-journey

Every past is becoming a trace
Pain, sadness, happiness
You bring them all
All of them are your stories

Do you remember your dreams,
That you drew on paper that time?
Raise your hand a bit higher
Just believe in your own light

Everyone has their own struggles
Someday, they will become your strengths
Just do your best for 365 more days
And don't forget the path you've chosen

If you ever ask why
It's because you're still alive
It's because you still have a dream
It's enough.

I like to write
Plans, stories, everything
I like fancy notebooks
I like blank paper

I went to a bookstore and saw a notebook
It had the word "Positive" on its cover
In which I thought I could write my sadness
Such that I could become more positive

HEY, YOU'RE WASTING MONEY AGAIN!!!
B-but it may help me!!!
ARE YOU EVEN MOVED BY THIS FAKE MOTIVATION?!
Well, I could try...

YOU WILL WRITE NONSENSE AGAIN
I'm trying not to...
JUST STOP WRITING
.........

But my heart is in shards.

I thought I was finished
But I told you myself, an end is a beginning
So here we are again.

I'm not the same person you've been reading.

Since then I've died and was born again.

It's always a difficult process, you know...
Living, dying and living again
It's like leaving yourself to die
It's like ending your life only to come back.

Never is it a good sign when you're sorry for yourself dying.

I heard my last heartbeats and my first as well.

So I'm here again.

The same body, the same voice, the same face and words...
Well, hello again, friend
I'll be your noise for the evening.