Right when you wake up, for one second you feel like everything is okay but then you remember everything and everything changes. You remember wanting to die last night, you remember taking those pills and then disappointed it didn't work. Remembering what your life feels like.

Life is a game.
Love vs Lust
Are you a narcissist? Or an optimist?
This seems like a one way street.
Maybe I can find an off ramp.

Game of Life is one we all play.
Do you like the people you see?
Do you Lust after them?
Do you love after them?
All you know is you are attracted.

Like two magnets, gravity pulled us together.
Do you like the one you see?
Or would you rather wait and be?
That spark is felt deep.
There's a fire growing inside of me.

Years from now when it seems like it's about to fade.
Just wait, baby.
It will come back in trade.
Look at you, standing next to me.
All I can think is "God, you're so attractive to me.

I went to my aunts house last weekend. I stayed there for 2 nights and 6 hours. I was truly happy every single second. I crave the feeling of happiness now, I was so worry free and care free. I wish I could have stayed longer to savor the feeling of happiness. I wish I could ask her to go this weekend but then I would have explain that I haven't been happy for 8 years. Now I am just here in my house full of toxic people.

I wish that someone will notice...
I wish that someone will notice that I am falling apart...
I wish someone will notice that I am not just sensitive...
I wish someone will notice that I am depressed...
I wish someone will notice that I have anxiety...
I wish someone would notice my scars...
I wish that someone will notice that I have a fake smile...
I wish someone would notice the days I don't eat...
I wish someone would hear me hovered over the toilet...
I wish someone would care enough to even be suspicious of me...
I wish someone would tell me everything will be okay...

My mother thinks she knows me, she thinks she knows my favorite color, she thinks she knows my favorite chip, she thinks she knows me. The saddest part is, she doesn't know my scars, my tears, my personality, my heart. I try to show some of myself but she just shuts me down. I try to show my heart but she just crushes it. I try to show my real self but she just throws it away. So, if I tell you one day that you don't know me, I know I am right.

Sometimes you just have to let loose from that leash and dance until you dance into a wall. :)

I am the person who you go to when you need advice.
I am the person you go to when you need a hug.
I am the person you go to if you need an excuse.
I am the person you go to if you need help.
I am the person you go to if you feel depressed.
I am the person to go to when you need a friend.
I am the person who is always listening to what you are saying.
I am the person who helps you no matter what but when I need that, no one is there for me.
So, when I say that no one else is going to be there for you but yourself, I am telling the truth.