Everyone has different views- different points. Points in their life where they were lost in knowing what's really for the best. Some already had their happy ending- some don't. Some were lost in a reverie of going back to the past and undoing- while some just don't care. If i was one of those people- i would be the one who created her own tragedy. Seeing you now- i realized that you were that every great thing i lost., and that every time i think about it- not everything i've lost- was really worth losing for. You were just one of those people who lost the chance to be with someone who would treat you with all honesty and be with you at all cost- and in that i realized. . . That i was that every great thing i lost.
From the smiles i faked,
to the tears i've wept,
the path i took,
left me lost in just a hook.
If i could just rewrite the past,
i would still bring back us,
back to those times,
where things weren't a mess.
I was still wondering if everything was really falling into place. If this was just another test- if it was everything worth losing for. It hurts so bad that seeing you now being with somebody else- somebody else who could offer you safety and laughter. Everyone seemed normal, everything seemed boring. I miss those times where i got to chat with you- all those times you'd laugh at my stupid jokes. Everyone thought that i was okay despite the smiles i showed- but believe me when i say i don't. I don't feel complete now that i am starting to lose everything once again.
It felt like a shuddered memory, a ghost from the past i tried so hard to remove. Your name as i heard them in the silence of my sleep. The half paged book i left scattered on the floor and that gold antique necklace left where you held it. We were supposed to be happy, yet it ended so quickly.
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"We were so happy. Why did it end?"
"We were so happy that the heavens punished us."
It was like becoming an ill,
everything just wasn't well,
the longer i tried to feel,
every second feels like hell.
And i tried to understand,
all the words you said at hand,
maybe it wasn't just what i expected,
but believe me when i say,
every lie stated my end.
I almost forgot how reality felt like,
whenever you make everything feel right,
and as time continue to run vast,
i remembered that not all things were meant to last.
I found myself in wonderland,
a false fairytale to be exact,
i think i have lost my mind,
but i hope i get back.
I fell in a rabbit hole endlessly,
my head is spinning vigorously,
i think i am going crazy,
so i ran and ran carelessly.
Today i met the hatter,
laughing over some matter,
out of the blue he gave me a reminder,
that this dream was a killer.
Confused from the warning,
i woke up from dreaming,
i held my hands when it started trembling,
for the things i don't remember doing.
Now i was left alone
Alive and breathing
Feeling all kinds of drowning
The second i breathe, the harder i feel
and from that i knew... i might never recover.
And just as i was about to jump to the shallows,
a hand pulled me up from my obscure state.
Telling me how dense i was
for trying to jump in an empty hole.
I asked myself.. Is this what i get?
For giving my all to the one i love?
A voice replied to my side
Saying that there's nothing wrong with having vast dreams
If a man truly holds you dear
He'll understand your every aim.
And in a spur of moment
I found myself in a reverie
He held me slowly
like how the wind caressed my skin.
He told me things i didn't know
Including the feelings i've never felt before
If he was the end of me
Then i would gladly accept my fall.