Time and time again
I hear mumbling,
Rumors of someone,
Planning on settling
Down

Waking up early,
Finding an apartment,
Applying to school,
Getting that promotion

As soon as this check clears
Once I get this job,
When my car gets fixed
I'll get it done...

It cannot be
Ignored

You should feel that
Inner rumbling
That burning
Desire for success

But it's simple
You got it
Or you don't

I'm too old for fairy tales
Don't entertain me
With myths and tall tales
Of a fair maiden that
Awaits a top a castle
In a land far far away
Chivalry is dead
And you killed it

With this catch and release,
Find a mate, toy with them,
And when bored cast them away,
cleanse your hands with bleach
And forget they exist
I should count my blessings
But this obsession with all
This shame and rejection
Got me playing memories
Like this on a loop
Previews of purgatory

These days don't feel the same
I don't know who I am anymore
I mean I once knew but that was some time ago
Knew where I was going and what to do
Now I don't have the slightest clue
I look in the mirror and see a kind stranger
With the slightest resemblance to me
But he's missing something
Doesn't have the right spark
His flame extinguished
He says he's me
But I can't remember
Like a dementia patient
My memories all gone

I tell her
You been gone for a while
Why you keep disappearing?
She said I hate having to choose
Between being heartbroken
Or feeling nothing
Because I always choose
To be numb
And know it's wrong
Cuz I
Fell hopelessly in love
with the idea of you


Times with you
Were sweet escapes
From the madness
I call life
I've built walls
And kept my distance
But somehow you got past
My guard
Who knows where you'll end up
When my story is said and told
And I know that I've been told
But at the time I couldn't let you go
My heart goes cold
Because I know I've
Lost you to
Ghosts of my past

A soul hollowed
moans out in hunger pains,
Lusting for sins
from ****** souls.
Sin infested boy
Holds cold steel
and fires a hot bullet
that was meant for me.
Lost his soul, no chance at redemption.
In a vain attempt to cleanse my sins,
I take my soul to kitchen sink
Pour out 2 cups of bleach,
1 cup of faboloso and I scrub and scrub
And scrub till my fingers bleed and my skin turns raw and YET!!!
My soul remains as black as the devil
Pierce my heart and it doesnt bleed
See I've gone numb to the madness
My heart's turned to stone
and I've become cold blooded
I can see another ***** **** a brother
In the heat of the moment and watch as he becomes lost in the madness,
Consumed by the darkness
when will this madness end?


How can we stray so far from the light,
And still hope to see heaven?

It's never been "just" poetry.
Its self expression.
It's art.
It's comfort.
Writing my feelings,
Putting it into words
Detailing life's milestones,
Time's I've felt
My life was essentially,
drained
Emptier than the
most empty well
in the Sahara
But also the
Times my life was full
And overflowing with joy
When my heart
Expanded with love
And inevitably exploded
Into heartbreak
you were here
 to pick up
The pieces.
Without you,
My mind would
Slowly begin to
Unravel,
Become bogged down
With poisonous thoughts,
And
Self defeating prophecies...
This is why I write