When you said,
"You're the strongest person I've ever known"
I didn't understand.

When you said,
"You can go through a lot and still smile"
I didn't understand

And when you said,
"You can feel pain and agony and still stand up"
I didn't understand.

So you held my heart
and twisted it.

You threw away
all I loved,
broke them into pieces,
and never managed to pick them up.

You broke silence
with blood.
blood
that I now convert to
ink.

like you said,
I smiled through it all.
I didn't want to disappoint you.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

They’re all out
Noone can hear
The quiet sobs
You left hanging in the air

The blood drips
Down your arm
You breathe deeply
Unable to stay calm

You cry quietly
Hoping for a day
That there are no lies
Where you have to say your okay

They’re all back
Now you're scared
That they will find
What you’ve feared

i want the pain i carry inside
to bleed from the pen
instead of my wrists
i want the pain i carry inside
to turn emotions into words

i want the pain i carry inside
to bleed from my mouth
and fill the broken souls
who read my creations

i want to bleed from the inside out

I have a love for hatred

Since you clipped my wings

I wasn't trying to get away

But now I want to leave

If there's no trust -

How is there love?

How can you judge my dreams?

All I wanted was to be loved by you

Now only hatred is left for me

my heart nearly stopped every time i had to cross the street
so let’s thank the queen for writing it down
before she’s just another thing i have to step over
all the rest have tickled my feet so far
and everything under construction reminds me that these days
the only remedy seems to be better luck and more cloud cover

i’ve been racing to crash on the couch
just to wake up to see if i have time for it all
and i want the stereotype to be true so i have nothing to cry about  
with the way things are going
you’d tell me not to be so brutal to myself
but the thrill i used to know is now paying its dues to the concrete

i was almost convinced i wasn’t asleep
when she whispered paris
nothing, everything may have changed
so this is not like anything i’ve never meant:

my heart nearly stopped with the regret of not talking to you
it's hard killing birds when you don't have any stones and
besides this time i think i've really done it
two days and this is already my favorite story but
second chances don't have to be so mysterious
maybe i just wanted to see you smile again

i should have said it w/o one of and the s after the L
still choosing o over x
and your pull showed my hands a home in the back of your denim
two across the channel makes the significant not so, if you want it
i’ll keep looking for you so long as you
don’t stop drawing me maps

if i died in my indecision then
your mouth showed me heaven
you’re the closest thing to purpose
i’ve ever tasted

i wish you knew how much i mean that