There’s so many things that I wish
I had the courage to simply say
But I can’t even stand to be alone with my thoughts
Much less bring them into the light of day

How can I be open with others
When I won’t confront the truth myself?
When I take my feelings and thoughts
And tuck them neatly away on a shelf

I take all the of the mess in my mind
And I shove it all down deep
I keep my mind occupied
So that the thoughts don’t creep

If the feelings make it to the surface
They can only be expressed one way
I wrap them up with a neat little bow
In the stanzas and rhymes I say

It brings order to the chaos of my mind
And it helps me to express
These mixed up feelings inside me
Without scaring people, this is best

If I were to truly let people in
To the nightmare that is my mind
I think they’d run pretty quickly
Though their intentions may be kind

So instead I carefully craft my feelings
Into pretty stanzas for all to see
And I’ll continue sharing my poems
As the tiny glimpses of me

The one who stayed
Oh, what a name
The only semblance
Of life being the same

A name given out of love
But it serves to remind
That the others are gone
Out of sight, but not mind

In all their travels
They’re out of sight, but not heart
And I’m the one that’s here
Dealing with all the broken parts

I’m the one that stayed
The one that’s still here
The one that sees the heartache
The one that catches tears

I’ve got heartache of my own
That cannot see the light
I’m the one that stayed
I’ve got to do it right

If I can be a pillar
Of happiness and grace
Then maybe I can keep the tears
From rolling down her face

I’m the one that stayed
And I’ve got to be strong
So that when they do come back
It’ll be the same as all along

Every night
When I get into bed
It’s cold

But I no longer care
Because I can crawl into my bed
And hide under the covers

But every morning when I get up
It’s still cold
And this time I care

Because now I have to get out of bed
Out of my sanctuary of warmth
And face the cold, cruel, world

I want to get out
But how, I don't know
I'm trapped in this place
With nowhere to go

I just feel so stuck
In this prison of mine
I want to get out
I want to feel fine

But instead I'm just scared
Trapped by my fear
Of rejection and hurt
Too afraid to draw near

I don't speak unless spoken to
I never just go sit
I feel like they're all annoyed
Though I know that's not it

God is with me
Yes, I know this
But sometimes I feel like
I'm not really His

I'm stuck and I'm tired
But I know there's hope
God is my hero
He can untie the ropes

I can't do it myself
But my strength's not my own
My King is above
He's still on the throne

He'll lift me up
Out of my chains
And help me realize
His love is what reigns

And one day I'll find
My life turned around
And I'll thank the Lord
My prison's torn down

But for now I'm still trapped
In this place that I know
But it's all in my mind
Soon I'll be able to go

I want to get out
But how I don't know
I'm trapped in this place
With nowhere to go

I've been here so long
I don't know how to escape
I'm not some hero
With a billowing cape

The thing is, I look fine
On the outside at least
But inside there's issues
I could compare to a beast

This self built prison
Is made with my doubt
And I don't think
There's any way out

My thoughts are like chains
They bind me up tight
And I don't think
I can do anything right

I just want to be
Like the rest of the world
Able to speak
Without thoughts swirled

But I'm trapped trapped trapped
By insecurity and fear
I don't know how to fix
But I'm tired of tears

I want to get out
But how I don't know
I'm trapped in my mind
With nowhere to go