Daybreak
Sunlight washing over me
The end of senseless tragedy
Letting go of pain

Dry spells and misery
Inflaming all my past regrets
For a while, lived sight unseen
Another mile, on a vacant road

Never thought It'd feel this real
Like I could a life in memory
It's been a while since we parted ways
But all those days still seem clear to me
I know the future is fixed in place
But it never felt that way to me
Ever longing for simplicity
Never feeling real

Secluded out here, In the passing trees
Wreathed in light of gaias halo
Through shadows washing over me
In the calm, quiet calamity

Another fantasy I can't fulfill
Or live up to, as evidenced
Imagination of the heartless soul
I never can forget
Nursing wounds that could never close
Something crawling up my throat
To watch the rain fall inside my head
From my bedroom floor

Don't wait
Why would I lie to you?
As ash peels from the coals
That bittersweet hanging rope
Don't you want to let it go?
Cause it's never getting better than this
There's no going anywhere next
Think of something you love
All things you held close

Daybreak
Sunlight washing over me
The end of senseless tragedy
Letting go of pain

Concessions since made
As hearts coincide
A flash in the eyes
And it'll end fine

You're not in the wrong
Not sure If I am
But it's never much
We rise with the tides

Everything moves in chaotic motion
The more things stay the same
Sometimes I try
But I never find the right words to say
If we don't see the light tomorrow
If you don't come out the same
I hope you recover
And keep your will to change

I always feel your words glow
If I'm asleep or not, I don't want to know
In losing, I only hope that it starts to show
This structural integrity

I'm still awake
I'm scared to die
Scared of all the little deaths
That come with change
Am I in the wrong?
It was just a mistake
Like everyone makes
Or so they say

Simple life, lived as a vintage television set
Ornate, one of the few luxuries exclusively for the well off
Useless.
Kitschy
A banal dream with pleasures devoid of an iota of venom
In a construct, a forsaken place, a planet without form
A perfect encapsulation, almost a replica
Of status, a microcosm
Head in the clouds.
Soul in the blood and bone
Desperate, claimed slowly by unrepentant chunks of flesh
I see the breeze on the horizon, sweeping through the fields

So I
Wake up

I never expected. It's not something I asked for.
But I rise all the same.
Once more, one more story to add to the pile

And as it turns out, I found the cure
Deep within the growths sprouting, and the sick smell
To rise once more
In the conclusion of it, I was an island to myself, but I felt at peace.
As my boots strike the sand, and my heart sinks a little lower
The pinch doesn't feel quite as real.

I could take some dedication to the facts that remain, as a claimant
Vigor worn to a shaggy pulp, my lungs crumble in a wave of synthetic dust
The scorn faced, the harsh lights shone on me, the blistering heat...
Unforgivable, as any reasonable man might conclude
I absolve no one of anything, but it all slips further from my mind, day in and day out
If I want it too or not.

To be so sure I'm awake...
How crazy am I?
The whole world breathes, exhales, in a layer of grey smoke, that soon condenses into clouds to shade me personally in my inaccessible fantasy.

The whole world's slipping further into those muted, docile gray shades.
A whole symphony of colors for these starved eyes
So hollow now...
Along barren halls, I'll run my fingers, across the faces of dead, rotted saints and take my gratification
In simple motions, drinking in the vibrancy, all the intricacy bleeding through the mock notions of simplicity

It didn't feel real then. I remember it all, in vivid detail
In those few moments, though branched and snaking through the tunnels of my fleshy wiring
I didn't feel anything.

The pinch doesn't feel real anymore
I can touch the sides of the sink.
My fingers, with gentle pressure applied, can sink into my skin
It only seems to matter when I touch it...

I stopped bothering doing it, a long time ago
It slipped from my memory

So integral, this feeling
I can't make myself ignore it

The waves seep chill from off the wind
My thoughts, caught up in the current

I found the beauty in the lake
If only for a moment.

I ignored it for so long
But it's mine, just for a second

The calming wind over the lake
Caught in the skin of this horrid face

Scared and truly alone.

If I could only drift away...

Though I see well enough
Lucidity escapes me
Left withering and splintering
In the face of change
In spite of the ending
Something writhes inside of me
A solitary heave
Railing against eternity

But I still cling
To the bits of shade

Every death is unique
As detailed as a fingerprint
I'm still not sure how to communicate
This intrusive thought, it never goes away

Please...
I need is to die knowing
That it wasn't all for nothing
That I gave this life for something

Maybe I've been too detached
Maybe I've been contradicting
Falling fast from what I'm needing
In hopes of finding something real

So outside the mind, enhanced
I see visions of my self
Inside my skull I sit and wait, pondering
If I'm even alive, as eternity
Stretches out before me, but
Nothing scratches that itch
Waiting for a fabrication to take me in
In the days to come...

I'll still cling
To the bits of shade

We are what we are
I am what I am

Nothing but a replica
Of imagined will
For all this effort
Scrapes don't fade
On porcelain skin

I changed my mind
I know I never cared enough
The weight inside
Never seems to let up

Suddenly, I can't find the words to say
I can feel the rhythm of your heart beat in my hands
When I'm alone

Another road
When did I lose myself again?
There's no control
Once the rot sets in

Suddenly, everything I understand
All the seconds in my head just ticking away
Never mattered at all