i feel as though you should know
that the falling was a beautiful blur
but i guess i was hoping that
you'd catch me in the end

I want to tell you
that I can do without you.
But I'd be lying.

I fight for my sisters
The ones whose own voice was ripped away

I fight for my daughters
The little girls who risk their lives for knowledge

I fight for my mothers
The women who gave up everything

I fight for my grandmothers
The ones who fought for me

It was a summer of firsts;
Young love wild and free,
The first time someone noticed,
The woman I was to be.

On some days it sweltered,
Other days were cooled by rain,
Those months brought intense new passion,
Followed by even deeper pain.

Amidst the July heat,
And melted gold sunshine,
I got drunk off your kisses,
And homemade blackberry wine.

It was great while it lasted,
But soon we figured out,
That goodbyes are really,
What summer love is about.

Despite attempts to stop time,
Our present turned to past,
But I swear an eternity,
Still would have ended too fast.

It is hard to believe,
But my heart loves you still,
Even after years apart,
I know now it always will.

You came in my life
like an oasis in a lonely desert,
Simple but charming you seemed
in that white T-shirt.

With a plain expression
I asked your name,
"Friendship, they call me,"
you replied to the same.

And well, we spent
most of our time together.
Chatting, laughing, playing,
irrespective of weather.

But then, I met a haughty
and loud girl named Pride.
On being with her,
my feelings for you died.

And now that you have
left me all alone,
All I do is gasp,
grumble and groan.

They say “I love you,”
They say “I care,”
“I’ll never leave you
I promise, I swear.”
But time passes
And promises fade,
The love is lost
You’ve been betrayed,
They left, they’re gone
Just memories remain
Playing on repeat,
Can’t ease this pain.
Fell for the soulless,
The one with no heart,
The devil was once an angel
And heaven and hell aren’t far apart.

I. THE FALLING IN LOVE

i should have known

from how the very first thing you told me
was a lie, and your eyes captivated me,
perhaps because i could never read them;
you were a mystery

that it was wrong

for you to say you liked me, so soon
just because i brought you cookies
just because i did; i must have been so good
at falling in love that you thought
you were too

II. THE FALLING APART

i should have known

when you’d say you love me
but i’d find myself alone,
when i’m blue, when i’m in tears,
and you search for words
and come up empty

that it was wrong

except i’d gotten so used to it,
to making excuses, to finding comfort
in what you offered, to convincing myself
it meant more

III. THE HOLDING ON ANYWAY*

i should have known

when i was too afraid to be honest; i knew
the hurt my words would cause; i knew
they could never be taken back, and that
we would both be left hollow

that it was wrong*

if i ever hurt you i would have had to be
broken myself, shattered beyond repair; and
the bullet i would use to shoot you were the
pieces of metal i dug from my own heart
with shaking hands

i should have known
that it was wrong
and i did,

but i thought that if i kept quiet you would
never notice and i would rather live with you like
this, because you disable the ticking time bomb
of my heart and in its place a dull ache,
throbbing instead of beating, and because
if you left, *no one would care if i exploded

(triolet)

Unthinkingly just now you said "my love".
    I made no sign, as if I hadn't heard,
but now my heart is soaring high above.
Unthinkingly just now you said "my love";
I'm all a-flutter like a turtle-dove
     to think perhaps you didn't use that word
unthinkingly. Just now you said "my love".
    I made no sign. As if I hadn't heard!