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Dean Aug 18
Some things are better left unsaid. I feel the crushing truth of this line pressing down on me. For the first time in my life, I wish I could erase a conversation entirely, wipe it from existence. In just five minutes, words I let slip pulled my relationship with David back by months, maybe years. Now I live inside the echo of that moment, and if I had to name what fills me — it is nothing but REGRET.

When I replay it in my head, I feel a cold pressure blooming in my chest, a tingling hollowness where warmth used to be. I search for a reason, any excuse to justify what I said, but there’s nothing convincing enough. I am left afraid — afraid of my own impulsiveness, afraid of the version of myself who spoke, afraid that I destroyed something I cannot rebuild. I fear I will never again have what once was with David. This is my doing, and my only companion now is regret.

They say you can sense when someone has changed. And I know it’s true. I see it in his eyes — eyes that used to hold me, now staring through me into some abyss. His voice carries a thin, brittle layer over it. His expression, even his silences, are wrapped in a new distance. I can feel the wall I built, invisible yet undeniable.

He is still processing. I am still processing. And all I want is to forget. But regret coils tighter each day. I don’t know how to fix this. Even if I do, fixing is not erasing. A mended crack always shows. A broken person carries the mark forever. You can always tell.

Some things are better left unsaid. Yet here I am, repeating it to myself like a prayer, as if it can undo what happened. I weigh every word now a hundred times before speaking. I wonder if it was really me who said those words, or if I was detached, lost, speaking from some place outside myself. I want to rip it all out of me. But I can’t. So, I’ll carry this sentence with me — before I close my eyes, before I rise from bed, before I breathe, before I dare to speak again: some things are better left unsaid.
Written on August 18, 2025
Dean Jul 2020
There's always an end
It will always come
sooner or later

New beginnings will also arise
and they will make you forget
all that has happened before

Live by that thought
Thrive by that thought
Dean Feb 2020
nothing matters anymore
different paths were taken
emotions will degrade themselves
e v e n t u a l l y
...
la fin = the end (from French)
Dean Feb 2020
I had built my confidence out of fragility
It was like a sandcastle, so beautiful and bold

I almost believed in it; I was almost convinced
That this confidence will endure the strongest of tides

But then and with the first wave of reality
The sands moved under the castle that was swallowed by the shore.

And denial swallowed my presence along with the storms of insecurity and fear ...
Dean Dec 2019
Those who are young are not to be equated
with those who are older.
And those who are bright are not to be equated
with anyone but themselves
for they are the builders of
our new world.
Dean Dec 2019
what was written by
Fire and Blood
will never be erased by
Water or Ice
Dean Dec 2019
I love oblivion
it's harsh sometimes
because it makes me forget
moments of joy, love, and ecstasy

But oblivion helps me heal
it makes me aware that
the past in all its forms
will
never
come
back

Oblivion makes me live
the 'now' and enjoy my present moment
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