It's not love that leads to disappointment
Zara Noury

It's not love that leads to disappointment
But rather attachment.


I like to chase that bitter pill

with the indifference I find

at the bottom of a bottle.

never fails, I just can't get a little sunshine
Apr 19      Apr 20

I hate the look that
you have when you look at me
when I disappoint you.
I am nothing but a failure,
with nothing to blame but myself.

Nov 1, 2014      Nov 3, 2014

During every stage of life
I am a failure
Stupid,stuttering child
Always messing up
Probably never going to succeed
Pointless to try anymore
Over life as it is
In a dark place
Never anybody's first choice
Totally incompetent
Exiting stage left
Nobody cares
Time to quit.

because your mind could not process the disappointment yet. Then - hurt, sadness, shock - flit
Aug 22, 2014      Aug 23, 2014

Hope surges upward from your core and to the heart. It warms your blood as your heart crushes into itself twice every second and unbelievably, your mind starts to think of a million and one possibilities. Your hand tingles and finally, after what seemed like eons, you think you are feeling hope again. You start suppressing it out of reflex- an unconscious, uncontrollable action. You push it down, right back to the void it came from but its too late and your lips are curving upwards into a gentle smile. You anticipate euphoria -almost can feel it at the top of your fingertips and you finally let yourself believe and hope.

It comes crashing down without warning. For a second, you still smile because your mind could not process the disappointment yet. Then - hurt, sadness, shock - flits through your mind. You still hold on to your hope like a child who refuses to let go of candy. Your smile wavers. But just like grabbing onto handfuls of sand, hope will fall out through your tightly clasped fingers. You realised that your hold on hope is no longer and instead, it is replaced by cold, unforgiving reality.

Like an icy slap to your face, like an unexpected kick to the stomach, like a bite from a dog you have always love- that is how disappointment feels like.

my feelings are so poignant, i don't think i can ever express it adequately in words. but i tried.
*The word disappointment weighs heavy inside my mind
Jun 22, 2014

The word disappointment weighs heavy inside my mind
It hangs on my shoulders like an anchor
It seeps from my pores
and causes blood to run from my veins
The girl in the mirror stands hollow and emptied by the world
lost in the desolation of space and time
she does not feel warmth;
she cant even will hot tears to flow from her eyes
she is left in silence-
with the word 'disappointment' haunting her thoughts

May 19, 2014      May 21, 2014

the feeling when you start growing
apart from a friend,
the feeling of a movie sucking
compared to the book,
the feeling when you fail a test
you studied hard for,
the feeling when you look in the fridge,
and there is no food,
the feeling in your stomach when all these
things happen,
that's the feeling i get when i
look in the

I thought I heard it in your voice
An unreal suggestion to sincerity
It was like my heart stopped for a lifetime
As butterflies collided in my stomach
But that all seemed to vanish
My heart sank to the pit of my stomach
And the butterflies retreated rightfully so
The very second you sidestepped such a foolish thought

It was a punishing wave of disappointment.
I should have learned all the other times.
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