It is the worst of all emotions
Creeping in like a snake
Seizing your breath and tongue
A chill that raises the hair on your arms
Your stomach drops and your face
It is not fleeting like anger
Or easily soothed like sadness
It's brother is bitterness and
It's sister is misery
Leaving a stain that can only be cut out
It seems to travel in packs
like hungry wolves
Devouring the rays of light
Following you like a shadow
Greeting you in the morning
It is tireless, relentless, determined
It is an open wound that lasts a lifetime
A series of battles in a war that must be won
So we are not consumed and buried
Holding fast to hope no matter how small
I've always been a disappointment
And I could always deal with that,
Until the day I let you down.
No knife could cut deeper
Than the shake of your head.
No boy could break my heart
Quite like you did when you walked away.
I've lost friends,
I've lost family,
And now I've lost you.
Nothing hurts more
Than the loss of my one
And only role model
Solely to the curse
I was given a name the day I was born
Later, I was given another.
Later still, I married and took another name.
Later, I took back the second.
What is a name? Should we not just choose our own?
If so, I shall call myself "Disappointment" and be done with the matter.
The door is now open
But are you ready to step out?
To take on life on your own
Realize your presence, Exist!!
You've been following their rules
Climbing the ladder one step at a time
The society's way, you know
In between you earn
Money, fame and the need to succeed
Wow, I wish I was like you
I wish I could follow rules
Live to your expectation
But I choose to step out the door
Embrace the sun, breathe in the air
End this pretentious living you call life
and exist instead of survive
Unlike you and your society
Just myself: a disappointment.
It would be good
as she stood
under a sky more colorful than blue.
As she stood
on a threshold of something
that smelled like the silk and satin
he had slept on just the night before,
She hoped for more
than red lights flashing,
than hearts surrounded by fences.
But, she only heard the mashing
of sweetened heartstrings not fully cooked.
If only she had looked
for something more than a cookbook.
That's what I am.
Can't seem to make anyone happy
No matter how hard I try.
She yells she screams.
But it doesn't hurt
I am dulled.
Until I feel a stinging pain on my cheek.
Did she just hit me?
No, she loves me, she wouldn't.
But now as I stare at the black mark forming on my face