One stary night
I don't know what to do
so I sit and think of you

Your wide eyes I can't forget
been in my head
since the day we met

I can't live without you here
my head bows in fear
my eye let's out a tear

young in love
didn't know what to do
but I cannot think of you

your eyes
your smile
things I haven't seen in a while

your laugh
your cries
your tears all dried

you moved on
I should too
I try but cannot forget you

When thoughts stop
causing a mind block
time carries on
without your song

Caught up in my own mind
I don't really know what goes on outside
like no one knows what's going on in here
the twisted thoughts that are supposed to bring fear
seem innocent in a savage mind
I think these thoughts, in the shame I hide
hide from an unaccepting world
In the shadows where I am curled
to hide the damage I can do
to protect myself from you

Branches reach but never touch
they are climbed
but no one ever reaches the top.
they're untouched ground
some small child wishes to reach
not realising that the top branches started at his feet.
someone grew the tree
and were tall enough to reach the top
but the tree didn't stop.
it grew and grew
and grew and grew
so it stands above all heads.
Those top branches have been reached
but no one will know until they find a way to get there aswell.

Change is caused by many things
and are bound to happen
some for the good
some for the bad
either way they are part of growth.
Change is like food or sleep
if it doesn't happen you can't grow.
Yet we seem to stop change.
We as a society don't let people change.
We don't let people develop their views.
We don't let people find themselves.
We stop people growing so they can't see who they were supposed to be.

Where are the clouds?
I want them back
the sun is shining
but I want the clouds to attack

Coffee in the morning is the perfect way to start the day.
Why did I choose for a week to start it any other way?

Ice cold air
an extra skin
moonlit sky above
streetlights over head
Coat zipped up
to protect from the cold
of the night creeping in

Nothing
no feeling
confusion
hatred
confusion
do you like me?
I really ******* don't like you!
in that way at least.
nothing
confusion
what?
confusion
Why would you say that?
Do you like me?
I do not like you!!
lost
I don't know
confusion
I don't know what to write
or say!
I'm confused
and you don't even know.

Pain grasps around your chest
digging in as you take a breath
you try to swim but you feel weak
so you sink into the deep
the deep, where light is dim
and all because you couldn't swim

This may not make sence if you haven't read The Girl
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1669837/the-girl-trigger-warning-self-harm-suicide/

She fell in love with a girl
and then fell in love with the world.
They traveled hand in hand
over mountains, hills and desert sand.
On a journey of self discovery
once she was saved by her princess and started her recovery.
Many years later the scars are still there
but she is too lost in her girl to care
They became memory of the past,
as she no longer felt like an outcast
but accepted as another human, not hated for the cuts that she made to bleed,
or the scars from the many times she left to be alone like she was some sort of disease.
She was free from the hurt and pain they caused
and loved by her girl who embraced every flaw.
They were inseparable they would never leave eachothers side-
they took life as it came and everyday was a different surprise.
She could look forward to life and what would come next...
but what happened then was not what she would ever expect.
her girl - the only one who ever supported her was stood opposite,
she suddenly became less talkative
as she realised her face was turning maroon
and the girl she loved wasn't going to be leaving any time soon.

I couldn't help but look at you
In hope that you'd look back
I never thought we'd even cross our paths
but when we did I didn't expect
to end up with a knife in my back

I wake up
every morning
I sleep
every night
just a cycle
of days, months, years
caught up in the cycle
of life, of death and in between
I have no dream
just a shell
of skin, of bone and blood
I'm empty
eventually I will be full
in months, in years, in decades
maybe I will never
eventually I will be full
of false images, unrealistic hope, unreachable goals
non of which I will reach
because I there's nothing
in my head, my dreams not even nightmares
nothing, just survival
when you're caught up in a cycle
where
I wake up
every morning
I sleep
every night

Always relaxed, barely stressed
but inside your a nervous mess.
no one sees inside you.
no one sees that you are two.
no one sees that you hide,
the just think your open all the time.
everyone thinks you have hope
when inside you cannot cope.
everyone sees that your alive.
when reality is your dead inside.

Has anyone ever thought 'what would I do if this person dies?'
then they do.











and you don't remember what you thought.

Blood was spilled
Hearts were filled
Death has come
warriors sung
Burning the village
Ignoring the spillage
All children screaming
surrounded by grieving
through death and despair
a living nightmare

For the first time death occured
and I wasn't affected by it.
Maybe it's because I didn't know you personally,
maybe because it was expected,
you were sick, terminally.
I hope you had a great life. Rip. Eternally.

silence fills the air
surrounds everyone in despair
controlling the minds
as insanity climbs
closer to the peak
becoming weak
and weaker
listening to the speaker
defiance
towards silence

You died for what you thought was right
in a non violent way
you died without a fight
on the day
you tried to right
the political way
you had to write
a paper to say
the message right
but you were caught
and were executed on one February night
and you never saw the day
when they were wrong and you were right

You're digging yourself a hole;
leading yourself on.  False hope.
They don't like you back,
they even told you so.
So when you're hanging over the edge
I won't care at all.
I tried to worn you. I ******' swear!
But you weren't there,
you were too busy digging a hole
and trying not to fall over the edge.

I'm digging this hole
For me to be alone
Where I can fall
I'm tired of it all

The night will surround
There will be no sound
In the darkness I drowned
No light is found

I keep my thought
Although I aught
No message is brought
It just is there to haunt

My dreams
Of screams
With light beams
And regular themes

I'm digging this hole
For me to be alone
Where I can fall
I'm tired of it all

I feel empty inside
but full with lies
told by people we are taught
their thoughts
their views
and our views
are supposedly wrong
and if in a song
these words are written
it is to society then hidden
and the message is not shared
and no one really cared

I've grown distant.
I've grown appart.
I've separated
myself, my heart.

My identity hidden.
My soul is lost.
my heart was beating
but then it stopped.

I carried on without it,
slowly dying inside.
As my existence was descending,
I started to wither and hide.

In the shadows I lurked
and barely spoke a word.
My mind started to work.
I started to wonder,
my thoughts couldn't stop
I started to ponder.

What would life be
if my heart would just beat?
My identity seen.
The dudum dudum on repeat.

Where I wasn't distant,
still held together.
I could be myself,
truly forever.

I've grown distant.
I've grown appart.
I've separated
myself, my heart.

My identity hidden.
My soul is lost.
my heart was beating
but then it stopped.

You cut yourself
you feel the pain
stuck in this cycle
and feel no shame

failing school
your life's a mess
and will soon
be just emptiness

smoking too much
and getting high everyday
I can't stop you
but I know what to say

you don't get help
you need too
if not for anyone
do it for you

You trust me
I trust you
Ask me out
And I'll punch you

We can talk for hours
about what we are not
our future plans
and how we messed up
I don't judge
You don't either
I haven't told you yet
But I don't feel the need to

I trust you
You trust me
Ask me out
And my fist you'll see

I understand you
And you tell me everything
Knowing that you only tell me
I won't share nothing
You can always talk to me
any time with any problem
I'll try help
But don't promise to solve 'em

I trust you
You trust me
Ask me out
But only a friend I'll be

fender amps spread music around town
the music in your room is turned up loud
pop rock, indie or punk
suddenly your mood has sunk
a bottle of Jack Daniels and then your drunk
crying unknown to what you've done
listening to the words that are sung
understanding the feelings of Lynn Gunn

Double standards of how men and women should act, dress or be treated.
Miss out everyone inbetween. Making them seem as though they never existed.

Forget what the society thinks for a day
see how your mind will start to sway
live the life you want to live
and think of the people you want in it
you were created
you are not there to be hated

Do what you want just for a day
see which way your views will sway
a life that you want to live
a life with only you in it
you may not want to live like this
but you know what will fit

Impatience, someone I once knew.
Impatience, you may know him too.
He knows me
like he knows you.
He treats us different.
He treats us same.
Sometimes he makes us feel insane.
He understands just how we feel
and to his power we will kneel.
Follow his orders
for he is wise.
He takes over
and makes us cry.
He makes us angry
because he knows what we are anti
but to his power we will kneel
because he tells us how to feel.

Lost in reality
caught up in a dream

Race cars running round a track
some people wish to stop that
stop it before another dies
but they really couldn't care otherwise

death is a powerful thing
and no one knows why
until they experience it for the first time

a loved one
or someone you didn't know
death is powerful
and the effects always show

It effects people internationally
although when grieving you are alone
the effects of death will always show

Electric guitar
I won't go far
Or travel the world in the back of a car
I'll end up cremated in a jar

I'll build an empire for you
for me and you
just for the two
or just for you
I'll build an empire for you
but big enough for two

Emptiness
feels like death
nothingness
in your chest

drowning emotion
space explosion
gaps unfilled
yet nothing spilled

enclosed
alone
no emotion
shown

just hollow
a shell
living in hell
you follow

*nothing
no interest
no meaning
just destress

unknowing
unidentified
emptiness
nothing inside

Just sat all alone
At home
With no one

With empty thoughts
Of naughts
No story plots

To be told
No thought that I hold

I don't know why people hate
We don't get to choose our fate
I can't wait for the day
when we are all entitled to say
this is me
and who I'm going to be
and no judgement will be past
it was never a thing made to last
anti-anything will not exist
this is the life I want to live

Sometimes I don't feel like writing
I just want to listen.
The moments
were I ponder
about who I am
and write it down
in a poetic format
because it's a really addictive drug
and I'm already hooked.
Coming back.
returning.
Over
and over
again.
Like it's the only way to feel.
To imagine what feelings are.
To imagine love or hurt.
Is this a curse or karma getting back at me.
Striking.
Kicking.
Stabbing.
Over
and over.
Evermore.

Every second 4.2 people are born
718 Instagram photos posted
1,109 on tumblr aswell
2,095 Skype calls
in the same second 1.8 fall
7,178 tweets tweeted
53,831 google searches
120,880 youtube views
1.8 lives forgotten because we were too busy to realise the life we have loose

Exam results tomorrow
everyone's ******* bricks
I don't even want to know
I just want to forget about it

Exam results tomorrow
and grade boundaries are low
I guess all the migraines were worth it
I really don't care anymore so...