I hear them calling, she said.

with her open mouth she joined the screaming crowd in her mind.
she wasn't alone now.

I can see them reaching out, she cried!

everyone appeared to be seeking her bursting mind.
she felt it all so deeply,
she was an ocean, flooding over everyone with her pain

they all wonder with danger seeping from their shut eyes.
she devoured them, with every closed lid,
with her broken mind
she pulled out her heart, to be alone
she stopped breathing.

how express, they whispered.
oh, she suffered beautifully they exclaimed.
how admirable.

it was easy for them to go about their day.

*easy.

"No, please"
I wouldn't take it back
just stop it with all these scarring memories
I will not say I was wrong
my thoughts kept me going strong

it all got so bad,
I had a bad dad.
he had to go
to a different home, he didn't belong
his hands beat to a different kind of song

I was bad too
I had way too much drugs to abuse
I closed my eyes, I really did try.
they took it all away

daddy wouldn't listen
mama couldn't cope
next thing I know I'm taking my last ****
sent away. on a not-so sunny day

the sun didn't shine, it had no time
I was never sober, drugged with their pokers
Isn't that funny? I'm such a lonely joker
I can't fight this, I'm sick with their emptiness

it got so hard to breathe
I was drowning, and no one could see
I wasn't the real me.
I was dazed, and unhappy.
"So, what changed?"   "Me."

we are all wandering these streets
families we meet,
so happy to greet

they feel so perfect
so unhurt by it,
they tell us everything
we don't hardly care
giving them those half hearted stares
we're just struggling to breath this air

so hurt,
so unprepared, what do we do now,
join back in the crowd?

i ask myself 'how'
our masks are wearing down.
Where's that perfect family now?
what a scene we're making now-
all our joy is bleeding from our mouths,
we'll make it, somehow

pull my lighter out
and smoke me
i'll unfreeze
and put you at ease
watch my water melt
that's what i thought i smelt
now hit me
hit me

get that high
you get me?
i'm saying what i mean
it gets harder every time
but this is how we get along

i'm frozen
now hit me.

we're standing together,
but all i want is to be apart.