She wanted to go home so she tugged on her mother's dress
The loud noises, new giants, and voices troubled her ears
She didn't know how to relax, anxiety shook her
She tugged harder at her mother's dress
This place wasn't familiar to her
But where was it familiar?
I want to go home
She wanted her friends to see how good her life had really turned out
The loud music playing in the background, she brought that CD
She shoved her child towards them like it was feeding time
Never even noticing the small ones shivering bones
I have to tell them about her, only good grades
I want them to know how happy I am
I want them to know
How happy we are
The party has begun
It’s your special day
You’ll only have one of these days
Everyone is here for one thing only
All eyes are on you
All conversation is about you
It’s just you
You and only you
You look lovely, by the way
Your clothes are brand new
Made only for one occasion
Same with the decorations
They’ll be used only once
And only today
Today is special for you
It’s one of your biggest ceremonies
Your last ceremony
he came over to where i was standing
and put his hand on my shoulder
listen, your girlfriend
is a real gem
don’t you forget it
i told him no she’s not
she’s a human being
and i told him to get the fuck away from me
then he said you’re a funny guy
and i said no i’m not funny at all
and then he looked at me
with a silly grin on his face
i just looked at him
but there wasn’t any humor in it at all
some time passed
then he shook his head, frowned
and scurried back out of my personal space
in that dark corner
where i stayed and drank
all by myself
watching the rest of them dance and cheer
and yap and smile and laugh
Beating fast, both your wings and your heart
You ascend and keep climbing, anxious to reach the peak
Uplifts you, exhilarates you
Until you acclimate and feel nothing
Slowly deadening your senses one ‘I love you’ at a time
Until you are like a balloon
Stuck in the rafters
Until you drift to the ground and are swept up at the end of some marvelous party.
O'blessed Darkness cover me
Blanket the rushing words & flashing blurs;
The disjointed fragments of blinking walls,
Lights crashing off and on,
Blue, red, green-the marionettes dancing,
So many together and all alone.
It is all a show.
The hiccup of life, the vomiting dream.
I see my life before me;
A slush of goo,
The stink of this world,
Or is that the scallops & escargot?
What have you done to me?
Everything I do myself-
This dream, this life...
Why do I hurt myself so?
Punching mirrors, vomit on porcelain.
My throne for many minutes...
Time ticking, time ticking-
I was unaware.
My wooden box was silent,
My wooden life is tragic.
The voices through the walls,
Through the fog and haze-
You okay? You okay? You okay?
I croak a positive.
I have no steady legs-
When have I ever?
I have no:
All slipping through my fingers...
Like the vomitous goo of tonight.
Everything we have, we lose.
Owning anything is an illusion.
Holding on is meaningless.
I want to go home.
(Everything is nothing)
I want to go home
(there is no sense in anything)
i want to go home.
Please, hold me now.
Funny inspiration (well, now) got terribly drunk in Austin one night with friend. The drink that really tipped me over 'The Dragon'. Nitsua is Austin backwards (his influence) Also, my Ode to Napoleon.
wit with brevity,
alcohol and levity,
mocking the gravity
of dress shirts and skirts,
as you pour another glass,
the familiar clink and clatter,
silver platters of the finest things,
merriment, pomp and laughter,
and, on the way home after,
stories about acting like
the center of it all,
us in your orbit,
for, after all,
It's my party, so lets party hearty
downing drinks and food
stumbling round, hoping
my neighbors, don't up and sue
Speaking of Sue, she's in the pool
bobbing for Bob, who's floundering
Bob's not really all that handsome or cool
Sue in the morning, insane pondering
Perusing the back of Peggy's legs
she used to be a Cosmo debutante
now, she simply trolls for Greg
he's been called, I quote "an idiot savant"
Todd never quite fits in, always quiet and shy
Alice always wants too, giving him the eye
Rosy has the hots, for my best friend Sly
he's a surfer bum, wearing an off-color tie
Benny always drinks too much
and ends up passed out in the yard
Elle always the gentle selling touch
into real estate, handing out her card
Harry plays the DJ
all day and all night long
he's really not that good
but the music's, loud and strong
I have these soirees, almost every year
for neighbors and for friends
it's always my greatest fear
some too embarrassed, to attend