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"unnameable" poems
The wheel of the quivering meat conception Turns in the void expelling human beings, Pigs, turtles, frogs, insects, nits, Mice, lice, lizards, rats, roan Racinghorses, poxy bucolic pigtics, Horrible unnameable lice of vultures, Murderous attacking dog-armies Of Africa, Rhinos roaming in the jungle, Vast boars and huge gigantic bull Elephants, rams, eagles, condors, Pones and Porcupines and Pills- All the endless conception of living beings Gnashing everywhere in Consciousness Throughout the ten directions of space Occupying all the quarters in & out, From supermicroscopic no-bug To huge Galaxy Lightyear Bowell Illuminating the sky of one Mind- Poor! I wish I was free of that slaving meat wheel and safe in heaven dead.
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211th Chorus
Since you ask, most days I cannot remember. I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage. Then the almost unnameable lust returns. Even then I have nothing against life. I know well the grass blades you mention, the furniture you have placed under the sun. But suicides have a special language. Like carpenters they want to know which tools. They never ask why build. Twice I have so simply declared myself, have possessed the enemy, eaten the enemy, have taken on his craft, his magic. In this way, heavy and thoughtful, warmer than oil or water, I have rested, drooling at the mouth-hole. I did not think of my body at needle point. Even the cornea and the leftover ***** were gone. Suicides have already betrayed the body. Still-born, they don't always die, but dazzled, they can't forget a drug so sweet that even children would look on and smile. To ****** all that life under your tongue!- that, all by itself, becomes a passion. Death's a sad bone; bruised, you'd say, and yet she waits for me, year after year, to so delicately undo an old wound, to empty my breath from its bad prison. Balanced there, suicides sometimes meet, raging at the fruit a pumped-up moon, leaving the bread they mistook for a kiss, leaving the page of the book carelessly open, something unsaid, the phone off the hook and the love whatever it was, an infection.
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5.1k
Wanting to Die
A song crawls out of the sludge from the bottom of the Indus River, from beneath the ruins of Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro. The burning sun tries in vain to penetrate the thick foliage of the ancient fig tree beneath which she reclines: the thousand-faced mistress of the myriad temples, the dancer, the priestess, the worshiper, the idol, the eternally pregnant singer… She who alone knows why no human remains were ever recovered from the excavated city, Mother of a thousand abortions, she who gave birth to the beats of the rhythm—and the space between each beat, the unnameable principle of dread… the slow flow of the river at sunset obscured by smoke of human flesh from the smoldering ghats…
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Mar 19, 2017
Mar 19, 2017 at 8:38 PM UTC
Ace of Bhangra
Two eyes appeared from under a broadrimmed hat. They looked around with astonishment. In a schoolroom, far off in the distance, a boy was Busy making a wooden bowl. The teacher unaccustomed to such slowness Requested a completion date. “I am not slow thought the boy, just working Away until I get it right.” He met the teacher’s gaze with an expression Of opacity and a sense of bewilderment. On another day, at a later date, this same boy Was found in his metalwork class applying Cylinders of gases to his small creation, quietly, Hoping for a connection before he was blown To smithereans. Two blue eyes concentrated as The jets of flames hissed into space. Too long the gases flowed. The master rose, the boy shook and his eyes Widened. In a playground, sometime earlier, A small boy could be seen playing without a coat. Gossiping women spoke of this unnatural act, This exception to the fold. The boy stared back Hearing their words with his eyes. Decades later when his hair had turned from Brown to grey but his eyes were still blue And wide apart, he painted a little *** Sitting on a pale surface, gazing into nothingness. This painting took him a long time. He had to get it right, the tones , the lines, The connections. After he finished ‘Little *** he sat down And stared into the two blue blobs set wide Apart on its surface and he thought, “this is Me, the boy, the man, the painter, of wide Apart, unnameable moments.” The Beginning. Love Mary ***
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Jun 9, 2018
Jun 9, 2018 at 10:42 AM UTC
Little ***
the first time you told me you were in love with me, it was in a letter                                                                  (you and you didn't dare even write the word.                        never were brave                                                                                             enough                                                                                             to love me                                                                                             openly.) the first time you told me you were in love with me, it was when you were leaving me for him.                      (i wasn't worth                                                                                              the price;                                                                                              you did a                                                                                              cost-benefit analysis you never left me, really.                                                   and cut your losses.) he left and we returned to what we were before him, as if we'd pressed pause                                                   if i closed my eyes i could almost believe                                                             it would be okay                                                             we were still glowing-gold                                                                                              and perfect. but instead of the synchronicity, some unnameable tension, the jarring sensation that something in us was out of alignment.                     (i asked you to                                                                                              wait:                                                                                              give me time,                                                                                              some days more to                                                                                              play pretend.) the first time you told me you weren't in love with me was just after you told me you would have married me                                                            would have run away with me                                                                                              (as if i weren't the                                                                                              teenager, here. as if                                                                                              it were my fault                                                                                              for not being selfish the heartbreak, the loss of ignorance                                and asking you to.) was what brought us back in sync. you wrote once about the end, the devastation that the city of us was victim to.                                                                      (we're finding                                                                                              that the damage is                                                                                              less like an explosion                                                                                              and more like an                                                                                              earthquake:                                                                                              broken glass,                                                                                              aftershocks, and the first time i told you i wasn't in love with you             cracks in the anymore,                                                                             foundation) i didn't know why, hadn't noticed the cracks in the pavement;                                                            i had only just started to see                                                                                              the shards of glass. you kissed me ten days ago, and said you didn't know why it didn't feel wrong, why it didn't feel like cheating. it's starting over again, i told you. the glass is being swept up, our pieces falling back into place.                                    (it's the natural                                                                                             order for us;                                                                                             this, darling, our                                                                                             effortless cohesion,                                                                                             will always                                                                                             rebuild the city.)
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Jan 15, 2014
Jan 15, 2014 at 12:35 AM UTC
wreckage
the first time you told me you were in love with me, it was in a letter                                                                  (you and you didn't dare even write the word.                        never were brave                                                                                             enough                                                                                             to love me                                                                                             openly.) the first time you told me you were in love with me, it was when you were leaving me for him.                      (i wasn't worth                                                                                              the price;                                                                                              you did a                                                                                              cost-benefit analysis you never left me, really.                                                   and cut your losses.) he left and we returned to what we were before him, as if we'd pressed pause                                                   if i closed my eyes i could almost believe                                                             it would be okay                                                             we were still glowing-gold                                                                                              and perfect. but instead of the synchronicity, some unnameable tension, the jarring sensation that something in us was out of alignment.                     (i asked you to                                                                                              wait:                                                                                              give me time,                                                                                              some days more to                                                                                              play pretend.) the first time you told me you weren't in love with me was just after you told me you would have married me                                                            would have run away with me                                                                                              (as if i weren't the                                                                                              teenager, here. as if                                                                                              it were my fault                                                                                              for not being selfish the heartbreak, the loss of ignorance                                and asking you to.) was what brought us back in sync. you wrote once about the end, the devastation that the city of us was victim to.                                                                      (we're finding                                                                                              that the damage is                                                                                              less like an explosion                                                                                              and more like an                                                                                              earthquake:                                                                                              broken glass,                                                                                              aftershocks, and the first time i told you i wasn't in love with you             cracks in the anymore,                                                                             foundation) i didn't know why, hadn't noticed the cracks in the pavement;                                                            i had only just started to see                                                                                              the shards of glass. you kissed me ten days ago, and said you didn't know why it didn't feel wrong, why it didn't feel like cheating. it's starting over again, i told you. the glass is being swept up, our pieces falling back into place.                                    (it's the natural                                                                                             order for us;                                                                                             this, darling, our                                                                                             effortless cohesion,                                                                                             will always                                                                                             rebuild the city.)
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46
Looking deep one may see into the looking glass. In their rough, ragged cloth, the pale old Magi. Appear high in the trees of the hills. With hard faces like rain-beaten stone, And all their helms of silver from the depths of the Dwarven mines, And all their eyes focused on the valley ahead, Thick pipe smoke spiraling into the sky The unnameable mystery of a ******* score.
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Jun 13, 2013
Jun 13, 2013 at 1:08 PM UTC
Les Ermites Voyager
How do they call you, those who’ve passed through unmarked twin doors for the shy side of one century? Is it as Nicholas of Myra, or of Bari, or as an unlocated saint, working wonders in this home of trim white-stone block, with three tiers of black- arches, frowning up at the merciless grids behind? Rows, rows, rows, they float on glassy, steel-blue oceans, and these oceans will fall in violent, cascading, millennial waves unlike any with foam caps that once lapped the rocky coast of lost Lycia-- your see our maps don’t contain, and our licit hosannas won’t reach. Who are they who pray here? Bakers, sailors, bankers, all whose sighs rise with a torrent of immigrant chants liaison rafters fracture in echo-song, the old coinage that plies your favor. To which patron can they turn when your cross crowns not the work of masons but one day’s rubble, a tongue without a bell, the charred relics of unnameable acts?
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Aug 15, 2010
Aug 15, 2010 at 1:16 PM UTC
Saint Nicholas
beneath the tin roof, beside the shrubs of unnameable greens, where white light bouncing off white walls does not touch your skin but sear you all the same⁠— the snip of metal, the lull of sporadic humming, sends you to opiated oblivion, and on your feet: waves of dark hair touch the earth and get blown away lightly, slowly
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Mar 31, 2020
Mar 31, 2020 at 8:19 AM UTC
cutting my hair on a sunday morning
I'm trying to live life to the fullest and the meaning is on the crest As I look at the sun this fleeting feeling sweeps over me the horizon will always be on the run such an unnameable emotion just out of reach, blowing in the wind I'm becoming blind, to what is really happening I'm trying to harmonize but instead I'm anathematised it doesn't matter what time of day or how I try to contemplate I'm pushing you further and further away I don't obligate   you to stay     you don't want to be analyzed or rationalized you're already leaving me behind I'm just beginning to understand self, mind, can you discern? you radiate such command, your meaning causes this yearning I'm tantalized and hypnotized   then you start to depart before I can truly see, hear this plea   to grant my desire to comprehend, you're slowly slipping out of my grasp, before I can write this fleeting, fleeting thought down you've already flown,                                          flown far,                                                               far away............                                                                                         ...............
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Jul 25, 2012
Jul 25, 2012 at 11:00 PM UTC
Ephemeral Sensation
Because before they meet each other they accentuate the bad in themselves that want someone to say that there is bad in them, to validate that fact so much so, that they intentionally push the good down, They want to feel evil and ugly and horrible, because those feelings are safe. So, I think, when a lover meets another lover; meets their residual and their main source, they feel something beautiful, something inexplicable, something they can never put to words, and so the ugliness returns because they look at their lover speechless, they can't say what they truly feel, it is the encroachment of everything modern and fleeting that holds them mute. But when they see a flower, they see something that grew from a seed, out of the dirt, and out of sewage and **** and ugliness, to a stem climbing against forces whose entire reason was to bruise it; to a bud holding optimism in its womb, to a budding, to the final bloom to those naked petals luscious with the perfection that is watered with pain, they feel beautiful because the flower is natural it remains unspoiled even though that is not to say there have not been attempts to spoil it because the flower will decay. But that instantaneous, and inexplicable oneness they felt when they first encountered the flower and the beauty it encapuslated; that moment of clarity, that moment of pure euphoria so wordless it became a hurting void; that feeling will never die. So, they give each other flowers, because that memory of instantaneous and irrevocable beauty, in all of the work it took to create; inasmuch as it seems spoiled and hidden underneath a canopy of weeds or in the millions of commercial growhouses; returns constantly when they are together, because humankind has created nothing when it comes to love, we have classified it, objectified it, destabilized it, even destroyed it, but we do not truly know it, only the unnameable and inexplicable forces inside of us can name it.
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Feb 8, 2012
Feb 8, 2012 at 9:34 PM UTC
Why Lovers give their Lovers flowers.
Because before they meet each other they accentuate the bad in themselves that want someone to say that there is bad in them, to validate that fact so much so, that they intentionally push the good down, They want to feel evil and ugly and horrible, because those feelings are safe. So, I think, when a lover meets another lover; meets their residual and their main source, they feel something beautiful, something inexplicable, something they can never put to words, and so the ugliness returns because they look at their lover speechless, they can't say what they truly feel, it is the encroachment of everything modern and fleeting that holds them mute. But when they see a flower, they see something that grew from a seed, out of the dirt, and out of sewage and **** and ugliness, to a stem climbing against forces whose entire reason was to bruise it; to a bud holding optimism in its womb, to a budding, to the final bloom to those naked petals luscious with the perfection that is watered with pain, they feel beautiful because the flower is natural it remains unspoiled even though that is not to say there have not been attempts to spoil it because the flower will decay. But that instantaneous, and inexplicable oneness they felt when they first encountered the flower and the beauty it encapuslated; that moment of clarity, that moment of pure euphoria so wordless it became a hurting void; that feeling will never die. So, they give each other flowers, because that memory of instantaneous and irrevocable beauty, in all of the work it took to create; inasmuch as it seems spoiled and hidden underneath a canopy of weeds or in the millions of commercial growhouses; returns constantly when they are together, because humankind has created nothing when it comes to love, we have classified it, objectified it, destabilized it, even destroyed it, but we do not truly know it, only the unnameable and inexplicable forces inside of us can name it.
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76
Drowned in self pity Negativity Eats you up like breakfast Tears away fragile tissue Smears your head in thick mud Dirt in your lungs Spits on your dreams Kicks at your wishes But he's weak He comes He goes No more And when you find the strength Peak your head over the high mountain Down into the green, green valley The valley, not of death, but the opposite Be sure to remember his face Never forget the horrors of old For they are what keep you from that place Another visit, another level of Hell It's never necessary lest you're careless If you forget that grudges aren't you And they only **** truth And that sharp words make no one Except the speaker... bleed This - this thing - Unnameable but unmistakable Unseeable and unkillable It diesnt deserve your sugary disposition Or you're homely offer of kindness Just show it what you're made of Smile a smile to cause blindness
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Jan 30, 2014
Jan 30, 2014 at 11:25 PM UTC
(bind 'em) + (blind 'em)
Your 'Top TRP' news team has just learnt that A consortium of fanatics and hypocrites now claim That the proprietorship of 'God' is now with them And will spew hatred on anyone disobeying them. Our unnameable “reliable” sources tell us that Anyone desiring to worship 'God' “more perfectly,” Henceforth, must follow their rules quite strictly Or floggings will be handed out quite promptly. Our brave insider informants have divulged that At last have awaken our pious priests and scholars To discuss these “disturbing new developments;” But they're upset most about lost revenue streams. The atheists were seen rejoicing and saying that There is no need any more, *“for us to self-promote While our competitors repeatedly self-mutilate.”* But have they forgotten, Stalin also preached hate? Our unquestionably reliable survey tells us that We are angry, sad, glad, disgusted and also clueless In roughly equal measure. But most are just curious: “How all this bla-bla will effect commodity prices?” There was however, an 'odd' man who said that God is Love and God does not hate. Will turn to rust He who chooses hate. *“Not in someone's deep pocket Will I find God. But God I'll find, always in my heart.”*
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Oct 23, 2014
Oct 23, 2014 at 9:19 AM UTC
Breaking news !!
Well Darlin' You're absolutely Write No Heart Was made For Sad Songs No.. FOR Beauty In Her Richest Light Freedom as Her Grestest Flame Power as Unfailing Truth And Wisdom Lovers Guide Unnameable If You don't help people.. At least don't Hurt them Simple And when you do.. Have the Courage To make it Rite
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May 17, 2016
May 17, 2016 at 12:43 PM UTC
Golden Rule
You left, because you had come. You arrived where you belonged. Five years ago, when we first met, I did not know we would become the best of friends. I did not know I would feel like this. In the evening we said goodbye, an unnameable feeling slowly rose in my heart. When I got home I could not hold it in anymore - and so it burst. That feeling which suffocated me could not be described with words. Only with tears. I have cried many times in my life. Every time it has been difficult. But ever since then, well into the next morning, I would never again be the person I was that evening.
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Dec 23, 2012
Dec 23, 2012 at 8:06 PM UTC
Farewell for a Friend
i hold it, like roses hold on to the snow. like the snow holds on to the cobblestones in the sky. and the sky, its wandering light. and light, its arrival in its absence. and releasing, its weary seeker. i flee from it, like time keeps fleeing from the clock. like the clock flees from its last stop. and the last, its living truth. and life, its vast unnameable. and questioning, its pallid resting place. i forge it, like the moon forges the waves. like the waves forge the cliff's labyrinth. and the labyrinth, its single thread. and the thread, its thousand fragmented words. and dissembling, its puzzle pieces without end. i ask it, like a sinner asks forgiveness from a God he believes dead. like death asks of life nothing but patience. and patience, its tender faith. and faith, its open hand. and answering, its fragile soliloquy. i reveal it, like the holy spirit reveals itself to non-believers. like belief reveals shelter from its own incompleteness. and incompleteness, its secret freedom. and the secret, its anonymous keeper. and hiding, its unspeaking reply. i seek it, like the waves seeking to return from the beach. like the beach seeking footsteps unfading from the sand. and footsteps, their fierce stampede. and ferocity, its crystal shape. and reaching, its impossible limit. i find it, like a book finds its reader. like the reader finds an old friend between the pages. and a friend, their love returned in full. and love, its givingness become relay. and searching, its pilgrimage. i hold it, like roses hold on to the snow. like the snow holds on to the cobblestones in the sky. and the sky, its wandering light. and light, its arrival in its absence. and releasing, its weary seeker.
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Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 2:38 PM UTC
collage
i hold it, like roses hold on to the snow. like the snow holds on to the cobblestones in the sky. and the sky, its wandering light. and light, its arrival in its absence. and releasing, its weary seeker. i flee from it, like time keeps fleeing from the clock. like the clock flees from its last stop. and the last, its living truth. and life, its vast unnameable. and questioning, its pallid resting place. i forge it, like the moon forges the waves. like the waves forge the cliff's labyrinth. and the labyrinth, its single thread. and the thread, its thousand fragmented words. and dissembling, its puzzle pieces without end. i ask it, like a sinner asks forgiveness from a God he believes dead. like death asks of life nothing but patience. and patience, its tender faith. and faith, its open hand. and answering, its fragile soliloquy. i reveal it, like the holy spirit reveals itself to non-believers. like belief reveals shelter from its own incompleteness. and incompleteness, its secret freedom. and the secret, its anonymous keeper. and hiding, its unspeaking reply. i seek it, like the waves seeking to return from the beach. like the beach seeking footsteps unfading from the sand. and footsteps, their fierce stampede. and ferocity, its crystal shape. and reaching, its impossible limit. i find it, like a book finds its reader. like the reader finds an old friend between the pages. and a friend, their love returned in full. and love, its givingness become relay. and searching, its pilgrimage. i hold it, like roses hold on to the snow. like the snow holds on to the cobblestones in the sky. and the sky, its wandering light. and light, its arrival in its absence. and releasing, its weary seeker.
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40
I heard you speak tonight You bared your soul in a private space And you saw me in you Do you know? I couldn't find the words to say that I understood you That you had described my life, my wanderings in this world So accurately I almost didn't recognise myself in you You looked so scared So strong So valiant in your battle So confused by your own mind And you broke me down I had felt so alone in my conviction That everyone else thought these things and won I hadn't imagined that anyone else Felt the way I did? I thought I was surrounded by aloneness Until I heard you You made me see that it had just been me But I was never on my own You hovered at the end Then left I'd wanted to say what seeing you meant to me But I couldn't clear my mind enough To let you know how much you'd helped me: In your hour of need You gave me the strength you were searching for I hope I can tell you to your face some day That you changed my life tonight In that way that only chance meetings can Quickly Quietly Beautifully Thankyou, my unnameable knight You do not know your own strength But I do
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Nov 23, 2012
Nov 23, 2012 at 4:19 PM UTC
Some day
The synapse in which both of You and I meet. Though, no longer can I tell where I end and You begin. An enduring connection of which escape is dubious. Inevitability remains a common guest, A parasitic fiend that clenches control As You and I laze, nonchalant of the approaching villain That of whom strides quicker, grows stronger, and wills to linger. A darkened silhouette against our brush plain.   Finally: It conquers us, You and I, And as It reveals itself I see It's face - one of a cryptic familiarity. The Unknown presents It's dominance with an otherworldly grin. In that moment, I see what looms so maliciously. I see that after all, It was truly You, Rather than some unnameable Thing Or a being higher than I, My sunset plain was merely broken by You, And You alone.
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Nov 30, 2020
Nov 30, 2020 at 8:11 PM UTC
My Favourite Portrait of You
These things I’ve left behind are unnameable. They are feelings and instances and glances around corners and sweeps of the wind and a moment of laughter. They are the sand beneath my feet and the people who stood next to me as I dug in my toes. They are city lights who will burn in one state or another. They are the places I will roam trying to duplicate but never replicate.
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Mar 20, 2012
Mar 20, 2012 at 4:55 PM UTC
These Things.
we had one night and it came and went like a wave on the shore with nothing to show, except what you and i know to be true we had one night, just one five entire years in the making when we existed entirely at a precipice – hot breath on my neck (yours) fingers inching up my sleeve (yours) the suspense was killing me we had one night one night when everything could have changed and i suppose it did, because we haven’t spoken in a year i don’t think i’ve gone a day without wondering how you are i hope you’re happier, i hope you’re found what you were looking for, that unnameable thing you tried and failed to find in me that night i hope we meet again i also hope we don’t, i know you understand
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Feb 19, 2016
Feb 19, 2016 at 8:39 PM UTC
Untitled
Ten thousand screams, seething with rage, Ten thousand cries, trembling with pain, Merging into one, a relentless wave, Years of feeling, fractured and fleeting, Rushing through the corridors of my mind. A violent melody, endless and raw, A symphony stretching across eternity, Then everything dissolved into silence, I sank to my knees, drowning in emotion, What was this feeling, unnameable, ungraspable? It was everything at once, yet nothing at all, Tremors rippled, inside and out, Echoing through the fragile shell of my world, The walls I built, brick by careful brick, Collapsed in seconds, a symphony of ruin. What was that feeling? They called it panic. I thought I was fine, thought I was okay, But was my well-being a masterful illusion, A play I directed to soothe my mind, To fabricate solace for my existence? That feeling—everywhere, yet nowhere at all— The tight, suffocating pain, piercing through, Everywhere, yet nowhere, a phantom ache, My world crumbling, and truth dawning: I was doing too much, yet not enough. It was cold, unrelenting, this truth— Nothing is enough, not even everything. I wanted to cry, not just inside, But to pour out the ache that hollowed my chest, Yet Death hovered, its blade aimed at my heart. Cold, numbing, but somehow awakening, I had to stop pretending, stop the facade, To find the strength to truly be fine, Not in illusion, but in truth’s embrace, To seek the help that heals the soul. Everywhere, yet nowhere at all— The pain, the guilt, the resentment, Aimed at everything, yet nothing at all. And in that moment, I gave myself permission, To not be okay— and that was enough. -fir.m
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Nov 28, 2024
Nov 28, 2024 at 1:44 PM UTC
Everything, yet nothing at all.
Ten thousand screams, seething with rage, Ten thousand cries, trembling with pain, Merging into one, a relentless wave, Years of feeling, fractured and fleeting, Rushing through the corridors of my mind. A violent melody, endless and raw, A symphony stretching across eternity, Then everything dissolved into silence, I sank to my knees, drowning in emotion, What was this feeling, unnameable, ungraspable? It was everything at once, yet nothing at all, Tremors rippled, inside and out, Echoing through the fragile shell of my world, The walls I built, brick by careful brick, Collapsed in seconds, a symphony of ruin. What was that feeling? They called it panic. I thought I was fine, thought I was okay, But was my well-being a masterful illusion, A play I directed to soothe my mind, To fabricate solace for my existence? That feeling—everywhere, yet nowhere at all— The tight, suffocating pain, piercing through, Everywhere, yet nowhere, a phantom ache, My world crumbling, and truth dawning: I was doing too much, yet not enough. It was cold, unrelenting, this truth— Nothing is enough, not even everything. I wanted to cry, not just inside, But to pour out the ache that hollowed my chest, Yet Death hovered, its blade aimed at my heart. Cold, numbing, but somehow awakening, I had to stop pretending, stop the facade, To find the strength to truly be fine, Not in illusion, but in truth’s embrace, To seek the help that heals the soul. Everywhere, yet nowhere at all— The pain, the guilt, the resentment, Aimed at everything, yet nothing at all. And in that moment, I gave myself permission, To not be okay— and that was enough. -fir.m
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41
Giving a name to a space is easy. Giving a reason for it is much more complicated, but she had a talent. You thought there would be more to it, fiery words, shouting in smoke, maybe even an explosion or two, but it didn't happen that way. You thought there would be a bang, but you got a whimper instead. It's the feeling when you're about to sneeze and don't, underwhelming-ness overwhelming you. Do you feel that? I will crawl out of my grave and come looking for her. I did it every day in high school anyway. She said she wanted to see the inside of my tomb, but I didn't know what it looked like until I closed the door behind us. I'm sorry. We wanted everything, the whole wide world, with all its decrepitness, all its Jerusalems, all its glittering scars. We really did. Maybe the effort matters. Maybe desperation counts for something in this world. I can feel it; she belongs everywhere. A place isn't a place unless she's touched it, as if her breath alone has changed the very chemistry of the air. I just wanted her next to me. Is that so terrible? There are worse things to want. Honestly, I want the worse things too, but I'm willing to give them up for her. Because I know her. I know her in ways words can't touch. I know her in breath and blink and almost, those words the words themselves can't grasp, as if their own meanings are lost to them. Because I know her. She was solid and soft. She held my hands inside hers until they were warm again, and when I looked at her, the world slowed down. I could think clearly again. But the beach, always the beach, water colliding with rock violently and the air crackling with something unnameable. I drew circles in the sand while she stared at the back of my head, rolling pebbles around in her hand. After she left, I knew. A blessing looks a lot like a curse when you're in the middle of it.
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Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 5:13 PM UTC
Spaces
Giving a name to a space is easy. Giving a reason for it is much more complicated, but she had a talent. You thought there would be more to it, fiery words, shouting in smoke, maybe even an explosion or two, but it didn't happen that way. You thought there would be a bang, but you got a whimper instead. It's the feeling when you're about to sneeze and don't, underwhelming-ness overwhelming you. Do you feel that? I will crawl out of my grave and come looking for her. I did it every day in high school anyway. She said she wanted to see the inside of my tomb, but I didn't know what it looked like until I closed the door behind us. I'm sorry. We wanted everything, the whole wide world, with all its decrepitness, all its Jerusalems, all its glittering scars. We really did. Maybe the effort matters. Maybe desperation counts for something in this world. I can feel it; she belongs everywhere. A place isn't a place unless she's touched it, as if her breath alone has changed the very chemistry of the air. I just wanted her next to me. Is that so terrible? There are worse things to want. Honestly, I want the worse things too, but I'm willing to give them up for her. Because I know her. I know her in ways words can't touch. I know her in breath and blink and almost, those words the words themselves can't grasp, as if their own meanings are lost to them. Because I know her. She was solid and soft. She held my hands inside hers until they were warm again, and when I looked at her, the world slowed down. I could think clearly again. But the beach, always the beach, water colliding with rock violently and the air crackling with something unnameable. I drew circles in the sand while she stared at the back of my head, rolling pebbles around in her hand. After she left, I knew. A blessing looks a lot like a curse when you're in the middle of it.
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44
it is in dove's ways how i love you and it is no common sight to take glory out of what this life ever so defiles with its uncouth hands. in the way that i soar with my unnameable wings over your territories finding shade, clinging with the wind, my mothered world in the eclipse of a day's turning - where together with the fleshly rivulets i am unafraid to trample the night with lithe sound: a wing's flutter echoes through the caves of your mouth deepening in primeval silence. stones woven earthly, intricate as a bed of mendaciloquence where truth lies stripped to the bone of the very voice of it. oh and what solace waits for me yonder hills that recognize my stretch - even the shadows rejoice in their fill of my passing elegies yet, no love shall die! night arrives drowsily over these planes that seek me, and i cascade as gentle as a pond girdling your ample fish that i viscerally own, thriving inside me, whirling in graceful fire. the morning takes me with you, its duty speaks where i was once sterile without path - you take mine flight and hover past everything, spreading garlands that would name all of them, ours!
0
Sep 23, 2015
Sep 23, 2015 at 2:14 AM UTC
Dove
I heard you speak tonight You bared your soul In a private space And you saw me in you Do you know? I couldn't find the words to say That I understood you That you had described my life My wanderings in this world So accurately I almost didn't recognise myself in you You looked so scared So strong So beautiful in your battle So confused by your own mind And you broke me down I had felt so alone in my conviction That everyone else thought these things And won I hadn't imagined that anyone else Felt the way I did? I thought I was surrounded by aloneness Until I heard you You made me see that it had just been me But I was never on my own You hovered at the end Then left I'd wanted to say what seeing you meant to me But I couldn't clear my mind enough To let you know how much you'd helped me In your hour of need You gave me the strength you were searching for I hope I can tell you to your face Some day That you changed my life tonight In that way That only chance meetings can Quickly Quietly Beautifully Thankyou, my unnameable knight You do not know your own strength But I do
0
Nov 15, 2012
Nov 15, 2012 at 12:55 PM UTC
Some day
how can you know a feeling if you've never felt it before realizing that it has finally absorbed into my pores overthrown my body and taken up residence in the oceanic depths the Marianas Trench of my heart now holding the reins a nameless shadow living in my chest cavity and eating away at the resolve that has shackled me and driven me on slick black asphalt into palpable darkness of a world i've never seen how can you feel when you don't have words holding a dictionary to my heart and praying to the gods Merriam Webster to provide me with the mixture of letters that might shatter my muteness and provide permutations of syllables to intercede for me and finally give me a label for those ephemeral tendrils i feel protruding from me and reaching reaching for you how can i use a word that is merely ink on a page when this inundation has flooded the streets of my hometown swept me away and the only anchor i can find is the chocolate profundity of your eyes that you lower in what is that emotion another word without meaning that lives more as a crushing pressure grinding my bones to dust shrinking me to a singular point in space and time time you tell me to go slow slow down but how can i when my foot is glued to the accelerator and i am driving full force into the brick wall of more emotions i can't touch always just out of my groping hands calling your name and the only word i have found that seems to incapsulate this churning rapacious feeling and exquisite pain that needs simply a word to help you understand because you can't feel what i feel though i would allow you to vagabond through my cerebellum and maybe spend a night in the absolute obsidian night of my cerebrum where that unnameable emotion is the only thing that can keep me warm i'm an alien without country without language to communicate with this foreign world where i have latched on to you your remora for you most certainly are a shark circling your prey and i wait to be devoured i welcome your destruction the fires that rage from the tips of your fingers as they trace the lines of my enemy body ready to explode with that emotion you urge me to put away to repress and wait for another day to inform you that i love you even if you don't love me back.
0
Sep 17, 2015
Sep 17, 2015 at 2:09 PM UTC
mute
how can you know a feeling if you've never felt it before realizing that it has finally absorbed into my pores overthrown my body and taken up residence in the oceanic depths the Marianas Trench of my heart now holding the reins a nameless shadow living in my chest cavity and eating away at the resolve that has shackled me and driven me on slick black asphalt into palpable darkness of a world i've never seen how can you feel when you don't have words holding a dictionary to my heart and praying to the gods Merriam Webster to provide me with the mixture of letters that might shatter my muteness and provide permutations of syllables to intercede for me and finally give me a label for those ephemeral tendrils i feel protruding from me and reaching reaching for you how can i use a word that is merely ink on a page when this inundation has flooded the streets of my hometown swept me away and the only anchor i can find is the chocolate profundity of your eyes that you lower in what is that emotion another word without meaning that lives more as a crushing pressure grinding my bones to dust shrinking me to a singular point in space and time time you tell me to go slow slow down but how can i when my foot is glued to the accelerator and i am driving full force into the brick wall of more emotions i can't touch always just out of my groping hands calling your name and the only word i have found that seems to incapsulate this churning rapacious feeling and exquisite pain that needs simply a word to help you understand because you can't feel what i feel though i would allow you to vagabond through my cerebellum and maybe spend a night in the absolute obsidian night of my cerebrum where that unnameable emotion is the only thing that can keep me warm i'm an alien without country without language to communicate with this foreign world where i have latched on to you your remora for you most certainly are a shark circling your prey and i wait to be devoured i welcome your destruction the fires that rage from the tips of your fingers as they trace the lines of my enemy body ready to explode with that emotion you urge me to put away to repress and wait for another day to inform you that i love you even if you don't love me back.
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99
love is a dead pool, still and itching from the eyelashes it holds unwillingly that will never move from its glass surface, there is no wind in hell. love is a broken antler broadcasting heaven thru its creature, barreling through the trees with unrelenting grief, when all that surrounds is dark, not evil, just dark, emphatically imaginative. Snapping  a neck on the trunk of a tree,  swan diving straight off a cliff into the sea or just to bleed, raining over the cracks in an earthworms ceiling. The dark that comes after, that is love. cog-less, fluid, and remarkable. completely human and cognitive when it constricts around your neck and lets u go just before u asphyxiate. Violent and gentle, caustic and admiring, a skeleton dancing without his hinges. It is wonder fed a disease, on prismatic plates without chips or marring; just colors one and all. i dont know where you are and i dont know where i have been. i need you to exist or some part of it, before my earth climbs out of its skin. with or without you. love is a blood wind, a mastic for skin, a backdrop for sin and everything that crawls in the dirt without limbs, it is godless and wild, a smoking gun, spiritual eviction, blood all over the bedroom wall, jealous and infinite, unnameable and free, a reservoir of  dark dreams and darker fantasies. please excuse me, i see the headlights coming and this rapture has been far to long in arriving there is no spirit in the sky everything is in your eyes god is in your eyes
0
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 16, 2017 at 5:31 PM UTC
love
love is a dead pool, still and itching from the eyelashes it holds unwillingly that will never move from its glass surface, there is no wind in hell. love is a broken antler broadcasting heaven thru its creature, barreling through the trees with unrelenting grief, when all that surrounds is dark, not evil, just dark, emphatically imaginative. Snapping  a neck on the trunk of a tree,  swan diving straight off a cliff into the sea or just to bleed, raining over the cracks in an earthworms ceiling. The dark that comes after, that is love. cog-less, fluid, and remarkable. completely human and cognitive when it constricts around your neck and lets u go just before u asphyxiate. Violent and gentle, caustic and admiring, a skeleton dancing without his hinges. It is wonder fed a disease, on prismatic plates without chips or marring; just colors one and all. i dont know where you are and i dont know where i have been. i need you to exist or some part of it, before my earth climbs out of its skin. with or without you. love is a blood wind, a mastic for skin, a backdrop for sin and everything that crawls in the dirt without limbs, it is godless and wild, a smoking gun, spiritual eviction, blood all over the bedroom wall, jealous and infinite, unnameable and free, a reservoir of  dark dreams and darker fantasies. please excuse me, i see the headlights coming and this rapture has been far to long in arriving there is no spirit in the sky everything is in your eyes god is in your eyes
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6