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"pukes" poems
I ate hot meals, I brushed my teeth day and night, I spent long hours on the mobile with friends, I wore well laundered clothings, Not a single crease or a stain on them, Before motherhood. My home was ***** and span, No stumbling on scattered toys, No ***** window panes, No tiny hands holding my skirts, No one  eagerly waiting for me on the doorsteps, No spits,pukes, pees or poos to clean, No teared  eyes to wipe, No tiny bundle to hold in my arms, Getting love,warmth and satisfaction in return, Before motherhood. I was in control of myself, Of my mind and thoughts, Caretaker of my own body, Spending hours to enhance my beauty, To maintain grace and elegance, Before motherhood. Now I am a mum, I don't mind if my hair is disheveled, My house is a bit messy, I am exhausted, For the reward of a hug, a kiss and those endearing words,"I love you mum,you are the bestest." completes me.
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Dec 8, 2018
Dec 8, 2018 at 3:36 PM UTC
Before Motherhood
I'm the Emperor and my face looks like a prune. I have dark circles around my eyes which also makes me look like a raccoon. My name is Palpatine but I'm also known as Darth Sidious. Everybody pukes when they see me because I look hideous. I was able to trick Anakin Skywalker into turning to the Dark Side. I actually convinced him that I had the power to save his bride. I can't believe that I was able to turn him into a Sith Lord as easily as I did. He actually believed that he could save Padme by killing Separatists and kids. I thought that my new Death Star was safe from the rebels, I thought that I had won. But Darth Vader dropped me into the main reactor of the Death Star to save his son. Luke Skywalker removed Lord Vader's mask and he became Anakin Skywalker again. I still can't believe that those **** Ewoks were the reason why my Empire didn't win.
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Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015 at 5:19 PM UTC
Palpatine The Emperor
is what i wear. it is a loreal campaign offering the art of concealment wrinkles are for unironed clothes and old folk homes all creation and destruction spun from tomb the glow emanating from a woman's womb this spf isn't always available for the wear its not some cap we can slip on our hair or the glasses we use to hide the despair for our pimples have awoken from their nightly slumber allowing the light to illuminate their number best we take it all in the midnight pukes and the morning glow lets carry on with our dancing dynamo all starry eyed and audacious all messy and pugnacious with our lips soaked in red shouting words of poetic gibberish to statuesque lovers who spin in and out of the revolving door as we sing our tune under helmets under bleeding stars and wind up with tattooed legs and arms for there is a radiant rose in your brain permanently blooming against the ticking of time as you stand in alliance with lust and love alike when they conveniently misplaced their pain at the local bookstore i can't imagine they'll go looking for it.
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Mar 27, 2015
Mar 27, 2015 at 8:31 PM UTC
SPF **** you sun
BOMB MARS NOW BOMB MARS NOW WE'VE GOT MEGATONS OF NUKES LET'S GO BOMB THOSE MARTAIN PUKES NOT IRAN, NOT A 'STAN AND NOT NORTH K, LET'S USE OUR BOMBS ON MARS TODAY BOMB MARS NOW BOMB MARS NOW THE MARTIANS HATE OUR WAY OF LIFE THEY WANT TO **** YOUR KIDS AND WIFE THEIR RELIGION THROWS HUMANS ON THEIR *** LET'S TURN THEIR PLANET'S GROUND TO GLASS BOMB MARS NOW BOMB MARS NOW BOMB MARS NOW BOMB MARS NOW
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Jun 15, 2011
Jun 15, 2011 at 8:48 PM UTC
BOMB MARS NOW
Here I was, pheromones **** in the chilly fall air, tumbling about among the atoms and molecules of oxygen and nitrogen and methane and gas for any to stop and smell and-- *Please just grab my *** The truest of lights streams into my eyes, blinds me and unclothes me, throws off all of my lies and false feelings and turns me into the soppy mess I am. I stumble down the street, tears blurring my vision; "I'm going for a walk," I tell them, "I'm going to find my friends." They've all left me behind, I tell myself. I'm alone and trailing them on this road of ***** and tears. I had wrapped up my hair, worn the shortest of shorts, drank until I couldn't think and still-- and still I walked alone. The lights of Columbus and the crisp air of an old country route haunt my heart, play hopscotch and dress it up all nice and tidy. Whether a **** and pulsating body were against me or not, would I be happy? My body is fighting to break free but my drunken mind can't even manage that. *Here I am, world, take me for all my sloppy iniquities,* I think, stumbling back to the house from an adventure poorly spent. He had gone and so had him, boy was done with my foolish whims. True love is hard to find and true like is even harder but sometimes it helps to just sit back and think and ignore the thunder of thousands of people pushing down on your weary, little head-- platonic attraction just doesn't cut it, sometimes. The mounties rear up and back and I walk around; a girl pukes her heart out and I crush it into the dirt. The door slams open and all eyes rest upon me, those drunken and judgmental eyes. Their gaze burns me, catches me alight in the unwavering flames of social curiosity. "Are you all right?" they ask me. I fall down instantly, sink into the old oak floorboard, melt into the grain and become a vague pattern among millions and millions of black and brown circles and lines-- "Yes," I answer, "I'm perfectly fine." Here I was, sloppy and seeping onto the cold, hardwood floor.
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Oct 28, 2012
Oct 28, 2012 at 4:14 AM UTC
sloppy and seeping onto the cold, hardwood floor
Here I was, pheromones **** in the chilly fall air, tumbling about among the atoms and molecules of oxygen and nitrogen and methane and gas for any to stop and smell and-- *Please just grab my *** The truest of lights streams into my eyes, blinds me and unclothes me, throws off all of my lies and false feelings and turns me into the soppy mess I am. I stumble down the street, tears blurring my vision; "I'm going for a walk," I tell them, "I'm going to find my friends." They've all left me behind, I tell myself. I'm alone and trailing them on this road of ***** and tears. I had wrapped up my hair, worn the shortest of shorts, drank until I couldn't think and still-- and still I walked alone. The lights of Columbus and the crisp air of an old country route haunt my heart, play hopscotch and dress it up all nice and tidy. Whether a **** and pulsating body were against me or not, would I be happy? My body is fighting to break free but my drunken mind can't even manage that. *Here I am, world, take me for all my sloppy iniquities,* I think, stumbling back to the house from an adventure poorly spent. He had gone and so had him, boy was done with my foolish whims. True love is hard to find and true like is even harder but sometimes it helps to just sit back and think and ignore the thunder of thousands of people pushing down on your weary, little head-- platonic attraction just doesn't cut it, sometimes. The mounties rear up and back and I walk around; a girl pukes her heart out and I crush it into the dirt. The door slams open and all eyes rest upon me, those drunken and judgmental eyes. Their gaze burns me, catches me alight in the unwavering flames of social curiosity. "Are you all right?" they ask me. I fall down instantly, sink into the old oak floorboard, melt into the grain and become a vague pattern among millions and millions of black and brown circles and lines-- "Yes," I answer, "I'm perfectly fine." Here I was, sloppy and seeping onto the cold, hardwood floor.
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86
I see you trying to play the badass In a Japanese car, I would have to Only laugh and say you ain't going far So many ******* juveniles clamor for this and that They only have to ask their mommies and daddies For **** that their too lazy to do themselves Get me this, get me that I want this, I want that Christmas comes and they get it Because if they don't they'll throw a fit A ******* disrespectful fit to their parents No kid has any ******* respect anymore What the **** happen to respect your elders No, they would rather steal from them And push them out in front of a bus I say punish these kids Take away everything the parents bought for them Because they feel guilty they didn't grow up with Much of anything. And if that doesn't work Use the ******* belt on these ungrateful pukes
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Apr 1, 2016
Apr 1, 2016 at 2:38 PM UTC
Ungrateful Pukes
She dragged her body across the room Away from the steamy pile in my studio “why does your japartment smell like spoiled cheese and Sadness?” Her speech sloppy as her movement “because you vomited on my ******* floor!” Her head spinning, she lurched forward “I didn’t do that – must been you.” She slurred, staring at her mess, smelling the fumes. Swinging her head round, smacking the wall She burped. Why help the helpless? It’s hell. An hour of her refusing clothes Forcing her to dress like a toddler in my clothes “I’m a goddess! I’m a goddess!” she bellowed. “Yeah, but even Athena wore clothes.” When you ***** in a toilet, it Goes in a second – cleaning’s a breeze! When someone pukes on your floor, it smells like sadness And cheese, Interesting how I remember my toilet bowl clearn That night, resting my head on icy porcealan Alone, isolated from friends usually there when I’m “unwell” in a toilet stall After ally, why help the helpless? It’s hell.
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May 14, 2015
May 14, 2015 at 12:44 PM UTC
Pizza puke
***No rest for a lost boy he knows no bounds A journey he embarks What he seeks is yet found A premature hatred Like ****** He pukes pain from stomach For weeks he is weak For days he is dazed Eyes vengefully blazed bullets flew grenades blew Such beautiful lies Unhappiest of times No disguising it This child has lost A dreadful crime He executed right along with his mind***
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May 8, 2015
May 8, 2015 at 5:09 PM UTC
Deceased Sympathy II
in the beginning was BamiBami He the True God the One God He wanted everything for Himself this BamiBami so He weeded out all competition and ate all the food at Cosmic Meat Yum! Yum! said BamiBami *More! More! Yum! Yum!* and Mighty He fell sick and He had no mother to make Him chicken soup and He had no woman to scream Him out of His Indisposition But He had One Predisposition and so He vomited the Sun and He vomited the Stars and the Planets and the Cosmos (and He vomited with such vehemence the cosmos and the stars and space, they’re still moving outward) and then He turned round and He made one final ***** and He vomited the Earth and all its creatures that includes you and me and think about that, that makes you puke (say Hi Puke to your fellow human pukes…) and since then we’ve always puked look around, and you’ll see the muck and puke we’ve even gone nuke All Praise be to BamiBami He of the Divine Puke and that’s how we got here not by a fluke but by a puke
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Sep 4, 2012
Sep 4, 2012 at 9:45 AM UTC
seriously puked
work, and work, night and day no sleep, no rest, no small getaway sick, and sick, and violently ill sick, still sick, pop a pill dream, a dream, a beach so clear dream, and dream, a sunbathed dear warm, so warm, so smooth to touch warm, so warm, so very much sunbathed beauty, in the sand sunbathed lover, take my hand warm, so warm, almost too much warm, and warm, i'm warm to touch fever, haze, and dream awake sick, so sick, more pills to take drowsy, dizzy, daisy dukes again, again, again she pukes sleepy, sick, and a sunbathed beauty this medicine is kind of fruity. . . .
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Dec 3, 2011
Dec 3, 2011 at 2:50 AM UTC
sleepy, sick, and a sunbathed beauty
"When did you get so thin?" they say it like it's a revelation like the gods from heaven had sent down a message to convey to the whole world and that message was conveyed in a girl and the numbers on her bathroom scale. Smiling thinly I have to replay "good diet, good exercise" even tough deep down I know the reality and they know it too but I lie because how can you explain that the thing that gives you life is the thing that's killing you? The good diet? Apparently might as not, apparently celery and gum is not a healthy way to make your body function, apparently no meals is not, apparently diet coke is not, apparently ice is not a way to live your life, but who wants to live mine anyway? It's hard to convey that every bite adds on a stone and every meal is equal to 10 kilos I have to run off, till I trow up, till my **** is toned up, till my senses turn off and my heart gives up, because when I look in the mirror the girl I see is not the girl in me, the girl I see isn't a girl at all, she has no  bones and no muscles, rather she has jelly around every bend of the body, every inch of it is filled with the word that becomes her, a word that she becomes. Fat. She's fat, she's ugly she's fat, she's fat, she's ugly, she is fat, she's just not that fat, she's fat, her stomach pukes when she eats, fat, her thighs jiggle when she walks, fat, her arms and legs can barely function, fat, she's always dizzy and cold, fat, her face is pale and she is that word. Fat. Although people try, although they try to tell her that she's not, to help her, to save her, to rescue a girl that does not need rescuing, this girl does not need saving rather this girl needs a knife, a knife to cut away all her worries, to tear her lungs and bumps on her body until she has nothing left, nothing at all because nothing is perfect, zero is perfection, zero meals, zero carbs, zero calories, zero kilos, zero efforts, zero voices, zero people in her head screaming, zero messages in her head gleaming whenever she eats, the evil ones that she deals with, the ones who stop her eating, the ones that know that every mouthful she eats she is no longer beautiful, she becomes that word, fat, what torture could be worse than that? Selfish, she's selfish, I'm selfish for believing that a few spare pounds is the worst thing that can happen to me. People are reminding me constantly that how the nightmares I feed are not the ones to fear because I could get hit by a car, I could get harassed or stabbed, I could get a disease that can stop me from breathing, I could get kicked on to the streets an of course, of course these things are worse and terrible and horrible and bleak but at least in these circumstances I wouldn't have to eat. The truth is I'm a jealous little girl in a world that doesn't care, I'm jealous of the people I see who weight less than I will be, I'm jealous of the people who don't eat that people don't see, I'm jealous of the scale, I'm jealous of nothing, I'm jealous of bones and vomits and pills of prescription and water and air and nothing. So, "when did you get so thin?" they say it like it's a revelation because how can they begin to see that the thing that gives me life is the thing that's killing me.
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Sep 17, 2016
Sep 17, 2016 at 12:46 PM UTC
Thin
"When did you get so thin?" they say it like it's a revelation like the gods from heaven had sent down a message to convey to the whole world and that message was conveyed in a girl and the numbers on her bathroom scale. Smiling thinly I have to replay "good diet, good exercise" even tough deep down I know the reality and they know it too but I lie because how can you explain that the thing that gives you life is the thing that's killing you? The good diet? Apparently might as not, apparently celery and gum is not a healthy way to make your body function, apparently no meals is not, apparently diet coke is not, apparently ice is not a way to live your life, but who wants to live mine anyway? It's hard to convey that every bite adds on a stone and every meal is equal to 10 kilos I have to run off, till I trow up, till my **** is toned up, till my senses turn off and my heart gives up, because when I look in the mirror the girl I see is not the girl in me, the girl I see isn't a girl at all, she has no  bones and no muscles, rather she has jelly around every bend of the body, every inch of it is filled with the word that becomes her, a word that she becomes. Fat. She's fat, she's ugly she's fat, she's fat, she's ugly, she is fat, she's just not that fat, she's fat, her stomach pukes when she eats, fat, her thighs jiggle when she walks, fat, her arms and legs can barely function, fat, she's always dizzy and cold, fat, her face is pale and she is that word. Fat. Although people try, although they try to tell her that she's not, to help her, to save her, to rescue a girl that does not need rescuing, this girl does not need saving rather this girl needs a knife, a knife to cut away all her worries, to tear her lungs and bumps on her body until she has nothing left, nothing at all because nothing is perfect, zero is perfection, zero meals, zero carbs, zero calories, zero kilos, zero efforts, zero voices, zero people in her head screaming, zero messages in her head gleaming whenever she eats, the evil ones that she deals with, the ones who stop her eating, the ones that know that every mouthful she eats she is no longer beautiful, she becomes that word, fat, what torture could be worse than that? Selfish, she's selfish, I'm selfish for believing that a few spare pounds is the worst thing that can happen to me. People are reminding me constantly that how the nightmares I feed are not the ones to fear because I could get hit by a car, I could get harassed or stabbed, I could get a disease that can stop me from breathing, I could get kicked on to the streets an of course, of course these things are worse and terrible and horrible and bleak but at least in these circumstances I wouldn't have to eat. The truth is I'm a jealous little girl in a world that doesn't care, I'm jealous of the people I see who weight less than I will be, I'm jealous of the people who don't eat that people don't see, I'm jealous of the scale, I'm jealous of nothing, I'm jealous of bones and vomits and pills of prescription and water and air and nothing. So, "when did you get so thin?" they say it like it's a revelation because how can they begin to see that the thing that gives me life is the thing that's killing me.
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13
Psychic soul suckers Narcissistic little ***** Poetry for pukes
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May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 1:32 AM UTC
Sheep
She watches **** at 3am, and has both ******* pierced her nails are like white roses and her palms like the thorn of every flower dead or alive I feel like if I *** in her mouth she'll keep me inside her forever I have to google "how to get hard" with every girl that's not her she's a dead head, barley leaves her bed keeps a rusted flask under her pillow and a knife to rip her beat up wrist there's nothing glorifying about her image It isn't beautiful the way she pukes on the floor and can never find bandaids and on sunny days she'll get this feeling in her stomach that makes her run to the nearest drug store frantically pushing everything out of the counters, looking for scar cream when she goes long enough without sleep she'll text everyone she knows an apology for something she did three years ago and I will always love her, but I cannot marry pills and blood and all the people know her as a crazy, crying ***** she was born with a different heart beat as she was counting days left, the other little girls were counting sheep
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Mar 5, 2015
Mar 5, 2015 at 5:49 PM UTC
Excuse Me Sir, I Think The Light In Here Is Broken
Nine Lives (Cat From Hell) I have a cat that just wont die, trust me, I gave it the old college try. It pukes, pees and poops on the floor, brings dead animals to my front door. I've dropped him off many of miles, but it always comes back after awhile's. No food or water for many of weeks, my water bed now has many leaks. Killing this cat is so **** tricky, whenever I **** it, he comes back like Little Nicky. Poisoned its food with lots of cyanide, into the window it would collide. Stabbed it twice, buried it in the yard, but in like Pet Sematary, this cat will die hard. Ran it over and over with my truck, he just makes me look like a schmuck. Tried to drown it in my bath tub, this cat belongs to the nine lives club. Every morning, I wake up in my own blood, it laughs at me while he smokes my last bud. He breathes fire from its meowing mouth, he definitely came from the deep south. I'm like Tom, he's like Jerry, its favorite drink is a ****** Mary. I once even fed him to my dog, next day it came back inside a brown log. I've punched it hard, and kicked it far, this hell cat is the most bizarre. Tried killing it with a single gun shot, burned it with water that was boiling hot. No matter what I tried it wouldn't work, he always made me look like a stupid **** I even burned down my own house, there he was carrying out a dead mouse. My whole body burning from cat scratch fever, I chopped off its head with a sharp meat cleaver. Put it in a huge *** and made some cat chop suey, it tasted bad and very gooey. After that day, I felt scratching from the inside, two weeks later, internal bleeding is how I died.
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Oct 2, 2013
Oct 2, 2013 at 8:45 PM UTC
Nine Lives (Cat From Hell)
Nine Lives (Cat From Hell) I have a cat that just wont die, trust me, I gave it the old college try. It pukes, pees and poops on the floor, brings dead animals to my front door. I've dropped him off many of miles, but it always comes back after awhile's. No food or water for many of weeks, my water bed now has many leaks. Killing this cat is so **** tricky, whenever I **** it, he comes back like Little Nicky. Poisoned its food with lots of cyanide, into the window it would collide. Stabbed it twice, buried it in the yard, but in like Pet Sematary, this cat will die hard. Ran it over and over with my truck, he just makes me look like a schmuck. Tried to drown it in my bath tub, this cat belongs to the nine lives club. Every morning, I wake up in my own blood, it laughs at me while he smokes my last bud. He breathes fire from its meowing mouth, he definitely came from the deep south. I'm like Tom, he's like Jerry, its favorite drink is a ****** Mary. I once even fed him to my dog, next day it came back inside a brown log. I've punched it hard, and kicked it far, this hell cat is the most bizarre. Tried killing it with a single gun shot, burned it with water that was boiling hot. No matter what I tried it wouldn't work, he always made me look like a stupid **** I even burned down my own house, there he was carrying out a dead mouse. My whole body burning from cat scratch fever, I chopped off its head with a sharp meat cleaver. Put it in a huge *** and made some cat chop suey, it tasted bad and very gooey. After that day, I felt scratching from the inside, two weeks later, internal bleeding is how I died.
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41
And that polar bear was my friend Never understanding the migration patterns, Of which there are none; stand still and live. Polar bears are meant to adapt to the cold, The biting air and piercing words of others. When life pukes on your ice, eat it, That is what polar bears do... right? I can be that warm coat to protect you, day, And night, claws that rip and tear. I would love to be there for you, And that polar bear was my friend.
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Feb 16, 2013
Feb 16, 2013 at 3:01 PM UTC
Lost
Feeling you oh my world unjust from matter grey growing old. intellect chaotic in cruelty killed mercies all dead in hearts chilled for morsels of humanity,ravenous. with tidbits of graces small ecstatic. despaired for a dreamy mirage afar in flaming greed's do I slowly char. smoky guns rattle dealing out ****** whining chainsaws balding green all very wombs earthy tremble with nukes elements all so impure,one just pukes  men in name only **** with rebukes.     all of us many brutalize one world just! flowing from nooks of a spirit noble my tears, moistening heart,well in eyes unseeing and drop silently on earth ******
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Feb 15, 2013
Feb 15, 2013 at 5:20 PM UTC
Tears flow from a noble place.
If you think you're about to read something nice think again. This is the worst thing you've ever read, written by the psychotic alive. It had to be clarified he isn't dead because he's actually rotting under my skin. Oozing out like moldy cheese left in the sun, sprouting hairs and covered in ***** Everyone who looks at me pukes on me, violently. Getting it in my eyes, and up my nose, until I choke on it and suffocate. Dying repeatedly in a murderous loop of zombie corpse mutation. The third time dying makes me hungry, I smell food in your bedroom. Crawling across the floor in the dark, you cant hear a sound, my phantom ghastly body secret. Underneath your bed I will be waiting till you sleep, the moment your eyes close out I will peek. Stare at you in the dark, grin down upon you, in shadow. I am famished, you look good enough to eat. Everyone wakes up at the first bite, screaming as blood splatters across the room. Rip your voice box out while you're still awake and kicking. Reach my hand right down your throat and ****** it. **** your eyes out while I'm at it, they're gooey and delicious. Human beings are nutritious. I work quickly yet painfully, your nightmares should be afraid of me. I'm coming after you...
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Sep 30, 2012
Sep 30, 2012 at 1:20 AM UTC
Something Gross for Halloween
i would know when my heart sinks im listening to one of the six songs that you played pulling right into the handicap thanks for the placard creak open the drivers side and waft into the carcasses beetles flown in for late spring jangle at the door lets me know im home phone and off litter in hand sirens not the kindly looking ones the ones that make you shake by hands arms heart drive home to hold him (or her depending on your mood) but the child... where are you not here as he pukes and giggles i dont weep for you or his continence for us instead and the way you bathe i dont need to talk now anymore this is not about love and so on what am i to you something trivial dont deny it what else would curdle my veins love? or this nom de plume the response to it? no its how i cant be with you its how you deny what i offer its what i offer to all the people      that can read when can i expect all you offer how soon can i cease my own denial very soon i hope pick me up carry me to the threshold so that i might carry you right the **** back in i beg
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Mar 19, 2013
Mar 19, 2013 at 12:16 AM UTC
i could tell if it were summer
"You're drunk you need it." - Lykke Li. Don't puke this time, make it the seed instead of the giving earth. The earth pukes in fire, and that hurts the belly. Trust me when I say I'm stupid, and that I'm staying. I have been with Heather, I have been with Carolyn, I have been with Gnat, I have been with Yolanda. I have ****** all of them. Every single one has not touched as fatally as you and you have undone the ropes inside of me. The unbound package is disaster. It signals the death of promise. But it gives in the lighthouse of love. I cross the fog, I trample the destinations of rain, I laugh at thunder. No storm is greater than you. So replace me, disown me, hate me. I love you, and that will not leave in the night, like werewolves after dawn.
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Mar 28, 2012
Mar 28, 2012 at 9:36 PM UTC
Myth.
I'd like to be Bukowski today, I'd like to get a good **** in before dusk, and a good drink in at some point, I've wanted some Wild Turkey more than anything. A good **** when done right without the spring-loaded traps of love, just ******* until your body swells, can make you come for days, and a good drink is good for washing out sadness as it pukes dramamine in your stomach, and Bukowski for a day would be a lemon. This is pretentious as **** I am a pretentious ****
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Feb 14, 2012
Feb 14, 2012 at 8:50 AM UTC
Bukowski Today.
The lines are sharp and they lacerate My brain is dull and can’t actuate Pop the amphetamine and wait for the kick To make me less useless, to make me less sick Society pukes itself seeking the grade And gives up the children, a foolish trade Mechanical education will only build robots Those heartless automatons, terminator and whatnot Smash the machine, rip out the circuit Infuriated by the pressure to be perfect Burn the tests, incinerate the scale Eliminate the concept of pass or fail Make everything new.
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Mar 23, 2014
Mar 23, 2014 at 4:39 PM UTC
SDD-Society Deficit Disorder
*You don't know the real me. I don't know the real me. I only know the parts. Do you know the part of me who has no feelings, who feels no pain, that part of me who does not love? Do you know that part of me who survives despite the struggle not too? She punishes me, that woman. She will take everything I have and make it disappear. She will take it because she knows I can’t be trusted not to cave in emotionally. She is empty and she wants me to be empty. She feels nothing, less, than nothing, and she wishes to disappear. She will hurt me but she feels no pain. She wants to hurt, to be hurt, because she deserves the pain – she deserves to be hurt. She takes care of no one and expects no one to care for her. Do you know the part of me who is explosive & raucous? The one who speaks before she thinks? Have you met the angry girl who spews venom on the rest of us…unconsciously yet fortuitous like a loud crash? Her words are frenzied; they engulf and hinder, they get in the way. And yet she is full of them…poisonous words that she is unable to contain. Her lashing anger is knee-jerk and reckless, her words cut like knives. Do you know the part of me who has emotions so overwhelming that her very presence chokes the life out of me? The part of me who vomits to get out the feelings of dirt and shame…she pukes until she is empty and even when there is nothing left, she cannot breathe. She used to be the strong one, but now she is weak. She is easily overwhelmed and she cuts herself to feel her emotional pain in a physical way, a way that makes more sense to her. Have you met the whiny little brat? The 5 year old brat who weighs me down, overwhelms me with her needy dependence…Her feelings consume me, envelop me, and I can no longer hear myself because she* GETS IN THE WAY! None of the others like her. She just needs so much! She can’t even take care of herself. She wears her weakness, her sadness…like a coat of arms. She is pathetic! She is the reason we are where we are – because SHE *was the weak one, the one who couldn’t resist him. This is all her fault! I have been betrayed, abused, and broken. I feel there is nothing inside of me holding me up…soon I will crumble like cinders…dirty worthless ash. Leave me alone because alone is where I am safe. Alone is where I want to be. Alone is where I can take care of myself. But the rest of you, the freaks inside of me?* GO AWAY! *All of you! Go away! You all consume me and I can no longer feel me. I feel like there’s a cord tied around my neck and each of you want to pull the noose a little tighter, drag me down. You want me to weaken, so you can control me. You are all like an Achilles Heel – you all drag me down until I can no longer breathe. Please go away. Please leave me alone.*
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Sep 11, 2013
Sep 11, 2013 at 7:34 PM UTC
Do You Know?
*You don't know the real me. I don't know the real me. I only know the parts. Do you know the part of me who has no feelings, who feels no pain, that part of me who does not love? Do you know that part of me who survives despite the struggle not too? She punishes me, that woman. She will take everything I have and make it disappear. She will take it because she knows I can’t be trusted not to cave in emotionally. She is empty and she wants me to be empty. She feels nothing, less, than nothing, and she wishes to disappear. She will hurt me but she feels no pain. She wants to hurt, to be hurt, because she deserves the pain – she deserves to be hurt. She takes care of no one and expects no one to care for her. Do you know the part of me who is explosive & raucous? The one who speaks before she thinks? Have you met the angry girl who spews venom on the rest of us…unconsciously yet fortuitous like a loud crash? Her words are frenzied; they engulf and hinder, they get in the way. And yet she is full of them…poisonous words that she is unable to contain. Her lashing anger is knee-jerk and reckless, her words cut like knives. Do you know the part of me who has emotions so overwhelming that her very presence chokes the life out of me? The part of me who vomits to get out the feelings of dirt and shame…she pukes until she is empty and even when there is nothing left, she cannot breathe. She used to be the strong one, but now she is weak. She is easily overwhelmed and she cuts herself to feel her emotional pain in a physical way, a way that makes more sense to her. Have you met the whiny little brat? The 5 year old brat who weighs me down, overwhelms me with her needy dependence…Her feelings consume me, envelop me, and I can no longer hear myself because she* GETS IN THE WAY! None of the others like her. She just needs so much! She can’t even take care of herself. She wears her weakness, her sadness…like a coat of arms. She is pathetic! She is the reason we are where we are – because SHE *was the weak one, the one who couldn’t resist him. This is all her fault! I have been betrayed, abused, and broken. I feel there is nothing inside of me holding me up…soon I will crumble like cinders…dirty worthless ash. Leave me alone because alone is where I am safe. Alone is where I want to be. Alone is where I can take care of myself. But the rest of you, the freaks inside of me?* GO AWAY! *All of you! Go away! You all consume me and I can no longer feel me. I feel like there’s a cord tied around my neck and each of you want to pull the noose a little tighter, drag me down. You want me to weaken, so you can control me. You are all like an Achilles Heel – you all drag me down until I can no longer breathe. Please go away. Please leave me alone.*
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I just want to destroy. Vanish all you conquerors, You don't belong here, I just want to be alone. Thinking, reflecting in the back seat of the car, As time passes by in a crystallized disunity, I believe I was meant to be here, Today as I am, hating so ravenously. What if I controlled your lives at my finger tips, What would I do? I am not a happy person... I think for the best but... I just want one day. You don't understand, Well that is fine with me, This is my poem not yours, The heat that courses within me. Why it's a beast, And it's just been born, Now waiting to be fed, Feed it, feed me, let me consume. Flames now surround the world, And I cry without tears, My body pukes without bile, And I die without death, A rebirth of hellish proportions, Is this what you expected? I'm not supposed to be here though. I- am not supposed to be a man yet, It hurts. Is anyone coming? I wish I wasn't alone anymore. Its cold now. I was wrong.
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Mar 29, 2010
Mar 29, 2010 at 9:28 PM UTC
Angry At The World