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L Gardener Apr 2018
she wishes for tears.
for egregious heavens…
some way home.
good and dead…
how to taste absolution?
beer and a velvet mousse.
and then consume one breath.
violent shiver became colors of waves.
some elusive fantastical reckoning.
my garden of take, always take.
wrathful water, take a risk.
abduct the heavens!
be over… be lost…
bad mother and hiccuping truth.
and that perfume guilt leaves.
my, we grow up into lonely, silent, aging, memories.
L Gardener Apr 2018
beautifully sad woman,
city trees ***** mimicry,
that mean sick friendship changes,
but the blue eyes unhesitating, large,
a thunderbolt for someone,
fires of passion and caresses,
have tragedy, have disorder,
get us two confined,
now the imagines marry
a look will torment,
the dark velvet for witches,
led wolves,
each ache crackle that couldnt feel,
slowly flexes from sorrows,
and because the electrified spiderwebs,
have a small current,
an illusion that to have brightness there,
not when blinding them,
even if the sun heavens dreamed lover Greeks,
a thousand tears breathe songs.
L Gardener Mar 2018
On the surface it seems so selfish
until you look up synonyms for selfish
and realize that it is not
ego-centric, self-absorbed, self-centered.
I do not lack consideration for others,
I only lack consideration for myself.
Did you ever consider that?
I have no ego.
I am hardly a me.
When I say "I am" a voice inside me wonders
"Who is?"
I don't even know myself anymore
so I couldn't possibly be
centered around something
I cant even find.
L Gardener Feb 2018
With a heavy head of fog,
I blink and don't recognize
where I am
or rather
I forget how I got here.
I want everyone to go away,
so I can be alone,
with my lonesomeness,
but still care about me
and come running back to save me.
Only so I can tell them to leave me alone again.
I am fine.
I am not weak.
Go away.
L Gardener Feb 2016
It'll be okay.
No it won't, I ruined everything.
You really didn't.
You hate me. Everything *****.
I'm sorry.
Me too.
But why? Just hold me.
Hang on...
She hates me.
I'm sad.
I don't feel good.
Do this! Help me!
I'm at work again, but yes.
I love you, anything you want, anything you need.
Take, take, take.
What about me?
She's busy. It's okay. It'll be okay.
But now there's screaming and I'm trapped.
Everything feels scary.
I can't move. Or speak. But I have to.
I'm making things worse.
You're waiting.
I say the wrong thing.
We boil over, the *** and the kettle.
Foam and steam.
Frothing and violent.
Panic is so easily contagious.
L Gardener Feb 2016
"Welcome home!"
Says your doormat, smiling up at you.
It's been a long day, though. You don't even notice.
All she see's is the bottom of your shoe as you cover her in dirt.

"Welcome home..."
Your doormat whispers from underneath the muck.
You can't hear her, you're too busy muttering about how terrible the day was while you fumble with your keys.

"Welcome home."
She tries one last time as you slam the door in her face
and leave her outside in the cold.

It's okay.
She'll try again tomorrow.
L Gardener Jan 2016
Let these words touch you and pull you in close.
Feel me grasping at your body with feverish passion.
Hear my breath on your neck.
Could these words ever make you feel how much I need you?
My fingertips dancing across your skin letter by letter.
Each sentence wrapping around to embrace you.
The empty space between each word, a longing to kiss you.
Love in writing.
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