There I am Pretending Forever lost Forever confused
I hear the words that you speak And it all sounds good to me But I am the critical one The cynic
I want what you got I am the envious one I see the glow on your face The twinkle in your eyes It is working out for you I am so glad
But I am enslaved to the darkness No beauty where I go inside my head It's hard to let go of the voices Telling me to join the dark prism Where rainbows turn into nothingness But maybe there is beauty in the dark hole In my soul. Just maybe even the song being Sung ignites a power that is forever beautiful
Just maybe the black rose being laid by the altar Will never wilt and die because in the darkness there is beauty.
I have felt the pain from others Does that mean I whine I have felt the wringer and sting Does that mean I've cried My dreams have sunken in the soil And it does make my blood boil Who do I come to trust To listen to and make a fuss If all is out for number one That they really don't care about me They would rather me burn up in the sun And cross over in the never regions Should I waste my time on them Should I give a ******* **** I feel I shouldn't care anymore Start locking my door Get my shotgun and wait by the window Because they're going to try to break in There's no more love out there Everything is superficial They're coming They're coming They don't want my things They want my soul I'm not giving it up so easily
Life. With all of its complexities, can we break free of the normal and see this thing called life in a new and vibrant light. My attitude has not been the greatest toward life, thinking I'm the only one who is going through struggles. Everyone is going through pain of some sort, whether imagined or real. Love. Where does it all fit in in this thing called life. When we can love without judgement will be the greatest thing of all, still have to be careful. But once we can touch each others hearts and make someone feel better, to feel good. That's the greatest love of all.
I don't remember Hurting you this bad I must done a wallop to your heart for you not to return my calls or text messages. I must of made you cry for hours on end and days to come. It could of happened that way But I totally doubt it. Oh. Hurting your heart is a possibility cause we have a daughter together and to get back at me is to not return my calls and text messages for months on end. You know how Much that bothers me and it does ****** me off but there's nothing I can do about it if you want to act like a little baby. All I want is to talk to my daughter. Why is it that the children are the ones who suffers and the more one tries not to make that happen the more it seems like everything is just gets lost in the wind. And I can't remember everything that made you angry about me. Apparently you was taking notes.
I have felt your lips on mine Kissing me ever so sweetly And telling me you love me And I ***** everything up I never tend to Oh, not by a long shot But I would open my mouth And spew masked words your way You always felt the sting of what I said And you would tell me that you never do that Of course I never cared cause I am selfish I always wanted things to go my way How can a relationship be built on that? It couldn't. I don't even know why I ever spoke A lot of things are meant to be unsaid And words are beautiful if spoken as such But I open my mouth and you get hurt Why did you stay with me as long as you did I don't even understand it If it was me getting verbally attacked I would of been long gone from the first moment And yet you stayed Now we have a daughter and you are quiet We are apart and that was bound to happen But now you have cut ties with me And use our daughter as a **** To hurt me over and over again I can't even talk to her cause you're not Saying a word. Not answering my calls Or my text messages. You are staying quiet So quiet like a mouse hunting for cheese Is this all that is left for me Quiet. And it is painful I hear no laughter from my daughter Because you just won't let me talk to her Is this the way it's going to be What is left for me I hear no calls from you I hear no text messages from you Just the endless darkness of quietness Quietness Painful
There once was a child He heard the sound of the smack On his **** and felt the stinging pain He got a bad impression of his aunt As soon after he felt the pain From then on he stayed away As much as he could from her In hindsight, after years of reflection It wasn't her place to do that The grown man and the boy inside Never got to know his aunt, truly know What kind of person she was because He held a grudge all those many years And this anger has fostered love She can never undo that act And he can never get those years Of hating her back
I get this feeling on my brain That I'm swimming out to sea I'm all disoriented and such I've felt this feeling time and time again It will disappear for a time and then Come back with a vengeance I tend to forget about it and then It will show its **** face Scare me and scare me some more As it feels like its never going to go away I pray and I pray some more Just wanting an answer why it's here I pray to whomever that will listen I plead and I will plead some more But nothing happens and I am lost Maybe this feeling I have wants me lost And confused, forever trying to figure Things out. I'm so trying to figure this One out and where it ties into my life.