Sorry not a poem more of a sort story .


Do you know what it's like to be ugly never to feel beautiful. To be the ugly one. To be caste aside pushed down and beaten. Just because they say your not beautiful. Your the ugly one. Do you know the pain of being thrown away with the trash and how much the loneliness consumes you. Dragging you to the darkness. Those names that tear  you to pieces.
The your ugly how can you show your face.
The your a no buddy why are you here.
The you are the most disgusting thing i have ever seen.
The I can't believe your parents keep you after they seen your face.
The you should just **** your self  just die no one would even notice that you did.
The laughing the whispering over and over again.
You never belonging any where.  Never having a friend just someone to talk to. Someone that believed in you . Someone that didn't think you'r ugly.  Someone that would save you. But no.
Your just always wishing that someone would save you. Praying please just this time please god help me make them stop please just this once please save me. I can't do this any more all this pain and emptiness why can't i be saved why can't i be loved . As you lay there on the grown bleeding beaten crying screaming for your life no one comes.
You ask your self as you lay there not able to move in so much pain.
WHY    WHY what did you ever do to deserve this for all these years all this pain WHY
Why have I been left alone in the darkness.
Why just because i'm not beautiful in there eyes.
Please tell me why i was born this way why is the world this way.
Alone ugly beaten as my soul begins to go black being pulled into the darkness.
Why can't i be saved.
No never for you always   always alone and ugly.
There hate. There words filling your body with nothingness and hear them over and over again never ending in you mind they just play over and over cutting into your soul take the very life out of you.
Pushing you deeper and deeper onto the edge pushing tell there is no where for you to go.
This.   This is the last time never will they beat you never will they make you bleed. Never will they make you feel pain.
So you clime and clime tell you reach the top of the water tower.
Finley you can be free.
Finely there will be no more pain.
Finley for the first time in years you can smile   looking up at the stars free.
I take that last steep falling to the grown as i look up at the stars. I smile spreading my arms out like i'm flying finely at piece. I feel i saved my self,      am I saved? Then it flashes no one well care no one well cry. You will never be missed. Now even before death your alone always and for ever alone.

There went that happy feeling. The feeling of being free of being saved gone just like that.
Some how it seems she had been falling for some time now in slow motion.
Now no more smiles just tears that run down her face.
Why this!   She can't even die happy and free from the pain. Why can't this  girl just be happy and believe just this once she is beautiful and free away from the pain just this time. How can they even take that from her.   Why?

Then smack something hits her arm and her body goes slamming into the wall.
With her tears streaming down her face she looks up and sees a bluer of a dark broad body hanging off the latter holding on to her so tightly.
The other one they called ugly. As she wipes her eyes with her other hand to dry the tears. She looks up at him she never looked at him before always looking at the ground afraid to look up but here and now she did. She doesn't  understand the man she sees is anything but ugly with the moon that lightens up his face and the wind gently blowing his hair he smile at her. She gasped and her face turns red. She sees just  How his smile makes her heart skip  how gently but strongly he is as he holds onto her. He speaks so softly to her this must be what they call fate were are here to save each other I was here to be free too, but us here at the same time. I know something brought us together. As i watched you falling you looked like an angel Spirit that lost her wings and i had to save you.  Because you are here to save me from my broken wings too. So forgive me i could not let you fall. Our soul spirits weaved flying together in the air.
  So what do you say. Should we let they fly together?  He said to her.   Her body trembling tears began to flow down her face  but with a smile that would light up the darkest part of hell.  
    He smiles back at her  and says i'll take that as yes. He pulls her into him and wraps  him arms around her holding her ever so tightly as she cry's. Just holding her he spoke so softly again to her I'll stay with you tell the end of time I well love you tell the end of my life. You well never be alone again.
Finely she was loved.
Finely never alone again.
Finely she was saved.
But no it was just the flash in her mind before she hit the grown.
There is NO LOVE NO HOPE NO GOD NO ONE GIVES A ****

I will never understand this feeling
It's a feeling of worthlessness, is it not?
I will never understand its emptiness,
Though I know it too well
Dare I say, I want to fall in love
Again?...

Would It help me to understand,
In ways I can no longer?
I'm aimlessly placing blame
(I don't feel real)
The tip of my finger repelled by,
The denial in my heart

How can something so heavy
Be worn on a sleeve?
Whilst the skin on my body,
Would tear at its seams
I am the worst of all things

I am man-made
Sadly I feel as though, not made to last
And sadly so, I'm afraid to know
I may never make it past,
This feeling

Two months now it's eaten away
It's not a chemical reaction
There will be no half life here
And more than half my fear,
Lies in a reality where,
I can not be free from this

It's a feeling of worthlessness, isn't it?
I am an apple eaten to the core
No
I am the pips spat out
...and forgotten

I just want to be carried away
I want to be more than man-made
I just want to be Finley, Finley again

Old friend,

a part of me still loves you
and cherishes the memories
that we made in youth
and then turned to cinder
I don't know how
two people so well connected
can grow so far apart
I still hear your laugh
I still feel your hugs
the fist bumps and play fights
years of friendship fading
like the smoke filled rooms
we spent so much time in
my memory is getting hazy
I hope your little boy is well
perhaps you'll tell him stories
when he's grown
of an old friend called Finley
I want you to know
I will surely cry when you die
though I doubt
that I'll be at your funeral

Mucho amor

*Finley

Waking up without you hurts like a hole in the head
and I don't know where you are
or what you've been up to, last night
I only remember letting you down, again
I did something bad, I know what I did
but you wouldn't believe that, I did it for you
and why should you?
I'm Finley, the **** of this earth
apparently

I'm a ******* mess, as you would say
I need help, night and ******* day
can't be without you babe
wouldn't have you any other way
but no one would believe me
when I said I did what I did, for you
I don't wake up without you, for me
for nothing

You tell me,
"if my mother knew about me, about you
she wouldn't want me to be with you, Finley"
and I cry and my heart aches
because it's true
I'm a monster, I hurt all the time
your loving mother would probably think
I've done everything, under the sun
but I'm not that bad
you know me

The police won't even take me in
they bring me home
where the monster in me, starts again
I'd peel the skin off of my body if I could
just to shed this feeling, to be free
to be free of the things that surface
the things I don't want people to see
yet so desperately need to understand
and I've said it before, life is truly
a lustrous haze

I know you don't understand
even though the skin I wear
could speak volumes
whilst the cries of my heart are inaudible
shrieking intense screams
confined and encased
in this feeble cage I call my body
and all the music in the world
can not soothe me
seems like nothing in this world
can put me at ease
except you

You are the arms that carry me away
the hands that wipe away
the tears on my face
and they burn like acid
like tear duct bleach
not strong enough to cleanse me of shame
but as you unknowingly wipe them away
I feel whole again, in some strange way
you make my life
you make me something else
when I can't even better myself

Home is an old red rucksack that my mother took round Chile
filled with my baggiest trackies for months
where home is trains and tubes and my headphones on coaches
Home is the rain when it batters the outside of a humble caravan
Home is a little wood burner, and a long green coat that was gifted unintentionally
and worn by many

Home is waiting for the triangle bus
Home is a cup of coffee in the right shaped mug
Home is a cigarette, shared with my sister in a pub
Home is our brother owning the pool table, modest and silent
Home is now the sea, but not in summer
mid-November waves, rough and lonely

Home is the river, the flow and the feeling
the fish and the constellations of a shared celling
Home is mums’ casserole and fresh bread still warm but under proved
Home is a shed, strangled with ivy
Home is tea and malt milk biscuits
Home is magic stars pasta beans and cheese and Netflix
Home is my duvet
Home is crumbs creeping into a lumpy mattress

Home is the day, lazy and underwhelming
Home is grandmas own tomatoes
Home is a laugh from an inside joke
Home is her long red hair, her stumbles and soup
Home is hazel eyes singing, by light from candles in old gin bottles

Home is a spoons breakfast with zero sleep
Home is a sink full of washing up
Home is cobwebs and a faded hoodie stained with paint and the smell of hash
Home is sharpened knife that can nicely slice when I am cooking to the bass my mini rig creates

Home is in the woods a maze of plot twists
mapped in childhoods haze of coordinates
Home holds smiles from guests and strangers who become family
Home is vats of marmalade, in sticky jars that collect dust they sit for so long
Home is the chorus of a Finley Quay song
Home is the journey I am on

Home is the field
the mud when its ripe beneath my toes
the grass worn with love
Home is a guitar (sandy with stickers)
I am home in her lyrics that swirl through the air
captivate by this Home we created
and our feet know the pattens of the beat
Home is the taste of freshly smashed melon
Home is a cluster of tents around a fire
and a tarp of scribbles

Home is the purr of Roo
Her velvet fur and trills of love
Home is an overgrown garden I used to tend to
Home is holly leaves transformed into wishes
Home is memories of butterfly kisses
Home is a hug when words aren't needed
Home is where I'm not alone

Home is him, the smell of his car and comfort of his arms
Home is his orange overalls
Home is a rhetorical question when I’m looking at his face

A dandy gentleman contemplates the human condition.
He sits alone in a french coffee shop,
poetry and philisophy his primary mission.

An awkward mind and deep pocketed heart,  he bites eagerly into a freshly baked maple syrup ****.

His mustache is striking, as though it has a story of its own
He wears a blue velvet coat filled with notes,
not to mention a lifes work of observations and quotes.

He checks his pocket watch from time to time
As he gathers his thoughts to write the next line.

A hint of tobacco can picked up from his vintage clothing  
He's a complicated fellow, enigmatic but soothing.

His top hat well established sits on top of his head
His shoes finley polished black with stripes of red.

A long worn out coat still encapsulates  his grace
He has a slight intensity reavaled in his face

For this mans work will never be done
For madness is in his nature, to him this is fun.

We both have this need for attention - to be loved
Being alone absolutely terrifies us
Yet we're content being alone together

He understands rules and knows how he should behave and so do I
However, we both falter at times - we can be a bit too much for some

I have sat and wondered endlessly about these things trying to figure out how we could be nearly the same
With the answer in front of me the entire time

Our pasts have shaped us
Both of us were left behind by the people we loved the most
We trusted them and they tossed us aside
The trauma of being thrown away and withered down made us who we are

Sometimes I wish I could be a man
the sun will just make me move
dance like Finley Quaye
gathering rainbows
as the sun rays penetrates
deeply through the layers
of the spinning dreidel

Sometimes I wish I could be a man
may be the girls will stare and think
wink and weakly muse
gathering rainbows
as the winter sacrifices it’s cold spell
over the mast of a mountain peak
past the cold freeze of the snowy frost

......If I were a man, I would lay her reign by the summerly graffiti trail. Then, sing her lullabies made of rubies and red roses........

To my friend,

I haven't met you yet
You should know that
What you see is what you get
I am not a liar, perhaps just
Brutally honest but
I will sprinkle compassion
On your morning coffee and
Comfort you day and night
In the dark times to come

I don't have anything to give
Except my own company and
A whole lot of love
Hopefully that's good enough
I'll never be perfect but
None of us are, so hopefully
You'll enjoy my company
Better than I do at least

Maybe when we're together
We can go see a movie
Or you could come for a drink
With me and my girlfriend
I just know you're going to love her
She's everything to me and you'll
Get along just fine I know it

Did I mention my family is big?
I have five sisters but it's not
Even half as insufferable as you'd think
They're just like me in a way except
Better suited to girly stuff
My parents are great and my dad
Gets on with near enough everyone

I hope to meet you soon mate
It's lonely without you here
I can be your right hand man
You can be my comfort zone
Here's to the day we meet
Be patient buddy, it can't be long now

Much love from
Your soon to be best friend

Finley x

Cincinnati Opening Day
It's a regional holiday
The Finley Market parade
America's first professional baseball team does it the right way

Excitement is in the air
I like to go downtown and pick up freebies on the square
Everybody is dressed in red or Reds gear
Bands are playing, if you want to have fun; you got to go there

The start of baseball season
You know warm weather is near
Everybody has high hopes that this is the year
Opening Day in Cincinnati, come on down and have a beer

  C
O O
g0 Reds!

Baby can you handle this
Life on the edge I see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
Needle in my arm
Love note saying that I'm sorry i just loved you to much
I'm just ****** up now I'm gone
I know you don't like it when I'm on this ****
I got so much music in my soul maby I can sell it to the world
My words in there steros and I'm telling em all
**** it live life to the fullest till you ****** die
It could be tommorow
Baby I just wanna smile
Baby will you smile
Baby ****** smile with me
Theses wounds cut deep
I live a life you don't understand
I'm what you want but can you really handle who I am
I want shiny things and tattoos on my body so I ain't gotta say **** I can talk with my skin
Tattoo ink like a script you gotta question
Take a minute and get educated
Go to the left hand find the *******
Now notice how there's no more ***** for me to give my finger is feeling limp
So I'll just use my lips
**** society please baby run away with me
we can make each other's happiness a priority
First goal every day is to see your beautiful face lookin at me smiling
Xanax takes my memory's so baby please stay next to me
my vibe is heavy in my soul like a cupple tabs of lsd
I can feel you brightinin my world
Can you see me changin
can you see me changin
I'm trying but **** chaingin causes pain n I'm in the passing lane lookin out my passenger window
At myself
I can see the past in my face and the pain ive felt  
My life been ****** up who shuffled this deck what kinda hand I been delt
I got every thing I ever had,
and every thing I'ma ever gonna make, invested in this life
How they gonna stand there and watch me burn it like dryed leaves soaked in gasoline that we stand around in the fall to stay warm with homies while we kickin it
light some **** an have a cupple drinks
80 on the freeway we ain't speedin cuz honestly I got some product in the trunk
Selling ain't cool and it ain't easy
Even tho I know I could just go to work an make that cheese extra cheesy just cuz I got a lil guzmen in me.
These streets stay yellin at me in my daydreams
Talking bout the city in a drought flip a brick make a grip  
and get some fiends to rely on your buisness
At least when I'm weighin the work someone gonna be expectin me
and they smilin when I arrive
**** people been dreadin my presence my whole life at least drugs make me the one they wanna see
Baby im alive right now
I cant speak on next year **** I can't even promise you next week
Cuz when it comes to being about it fo yo homies yo family and yo friends then they say anything disrespectful and they likely ta catch lead
Body shots are Target practice we aimin for they head
Twenty five to life is what they tryina give us in tha 208
Half a zip of Crystal and they talkin life with without
man I was ony 21
Said if I told em three dealers above me I could catch probation and go free
**** that **** I run around with real gangsters take yo head off your shoulders
If you got loose lips round us you gonna learn
We catch an OP we spread the word
That black and white already been sent ta everyone ya heard
you aint aloud to play no more sorry but you broke the rules
If my mouth woulda opened right now I wouldn't be breathing
My paper work come correct you better believe it
**** y'all draggin my name in the mud
I been solid since I was to Young to be doin this ****
Girl if you wit me you gotta stay solid onehundred percent
Everything is handled in house we don't dial 911
unless we need a doctor or somethings burnin up
**** twelve they wanna see me hurting
**** twelve
They want wanna catch me serving to
these fiends but just these crack heads waiting till I can't supply
then they giving up my name to 5-O just ta keep themselves on they level
Chasin that high is like running from the devil
But he got a leash chokin you till you bowin down at his knees
Life lived
life wasted  
Life on the edge
**** it let's see the world I wanna make it
This my world I'ma do what I wanna y'all gonna know my name I'ma top shotta dumb dotta
**** around fall in love with the life you see around ya
Stay with me girl we gonna take a million dolla
Make it 4 times that over night
******* that grind baby so you can kick back and enjoy life
Shoppin in hollywood on rodeo drive
red carpet pictures capturin the moments we together in life
I'm fascineted by your body
Far from ordinary baby your unique
Can you handle this
Life on the edge I can see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
Baby will you live life like the end is already happening
Treasure every moment **** what ever all thoes losers think
They say I'm wastin away
Druggin my life down the drain
Well let's be honest here my name is Dennis drain so pour your liquor dump your dope out let me take it all to the head
I can barely breath I might have just OD'd
I think I just OD'd
If you find me and I can't breath
Baby will you scream for me
Baby I'm sorry this is how you ever had to see me
Live life like I showed you **** what hurts deep inside
find beautiful places an people with smiling faces integrate with there minds to create a place on this world to sit down and just think
Even in the darkness of what comes after my last heart beat
Your memory will keep
My soul feeding off your energy
seeing you and me close
back when it was back then
Ya know not just in my head
But here in reality baby this is where I can feel your every breath
In a mansion smilin with cash
dressed in the latest fasions
Millions of people saying they fans of what I create
I changeed they lives with the music I made
I hope that this dream comes true cuz I'ma promise you that when it do
I'ma bring you wit me we gonna be rich like we filthy
swimmin in bills wit blue faces all hundreds no 20s no 50s
But if these dreams come up short and I'm stuck in this place will you stick with me
here on this dead end street
Is a 9 to 5, Makin 17.50 enough for your beautiful body to wanna come closer to mine
We might rent forever may never own a house
and I might go away for some time you might have to wipe them tears from your face
It's ok still crying
I love you
your mine
Put a smile on you mouth
Even when it hurts girl
If I'm wit you or i bounced
In the penatentry or on the couch
you what makes me smile baby girl and don't you ever forget that
Be mine till the end of time
But only if you won't regret that
When we find the end we can build on till infinity can't streach any more
Every moment till the moments finley find the end and we are no more
In reality or my memory cuz time took what I love away from me
baby you best
Baby  come close  I'ma hold you in my arms untill you tell me to let go
keep ya warm like toast  
butter yo bread when we in bed
hope you like the way I make you feel when I give you my passion
hopefully you see that this kinda ectasy don't just happen
I'm tryin my best to keep you feeling happy
Mind body and soul
Make yo body thirst for me
Girl I know yo smile only works for me
I see theses other women they looking good
but you the only one I wanna dance for me
Stop doubting your beauty it's not attractive to hear such a goddess of a women doubt the power of her attraction
Yo eyes catch mine and the police might as well of pulled out a 9
Cuz i cant move
I'm stuck on you
Baby can you handle this
Life on the edge I can see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
If I die I swear you'll be my endless dream
Baby baby please let's take life like it's drugs and do this **** together
feel the euphoria like we the same soul forever
They can't handle this **** that we doin
We don't fit the mold so baby we just out here bein different
They don't like that
they stay trippin
Can you handle me baby it's ok if you can't
Just let me know what it is you looking for in a man
If I can't give you what you want than I'll let you go
Cuz your happiness is what warms my soul
Even if it ain't with me
Every time I wake up weather its late afternoon or early morning
Depending on what I been dosing
Depression holdin on to me an I know I'm hard to love
But even when you with some other man if you cracking a smile
Everything goin good
you got money and a place to live
Then I'm smilin wit you I hope one day I'll meet yo kids
The world could die if you and I could float forever in space
with each other in the endless expanses of space
I hope we float around an never age never feel hunger
never feel pain
Fill each other with happiness an fix the broken thangs
Baby I know we just met so maby I'm crazy I really don't know yet
But I'ma offer you my heart you can have it
If the blood scares you
you can turn off the lights and feel it beat in your hand
Feel the energy and power every beat you feel sitting in the darkness
Baby I'm here for you
and every moment your with me I lose grip on reality
your the drug I want
just please forgive my evil deeds my past is full of terrible things
I try and keep that stuff down deep but it comes to say hello sometimes **** I hate it when these memories figure out how to make catchy rhymes
and when it does happen please don't think any less of me
I'm slowly changing please believe
I'ma be honest I'ma always do me
Sometimes doin me means sacrificing things
Things I love
Things I can't put a price on easily
my freedom is worth to much by itself
Now add YOU to my list of things they take from me if I go back to county and ******* I don't wanna go in that cell
"**** twelve"  police ain't **** catch me at the red light if you can
I'm quick to split soon as them red and blues start to flick
I want the love you show me to hold me when I sleep
**** thin blue mats and cold concreat
My body aches an I miss that cute twiching you do when you finally slip into your dreams
Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me that I'm who you wanna spend every moment you got left breathing in this life with
I know things don't always work out and we may never make to marriage and kids
But no matter what every word I've said I've meant
It's crazy cuz we just meet but I'm just kinda that way
Meet you one day the next I don't wanna let you go
I guess I'm kinda clingy but I'm blaming you an the way you sitting there with a blank stare licking your lips
I wanna hold you by your hips
Kiss you everywhere an feel your body twitch
So I'ma stay close play it by ear till you tell me to leave or we've been a thing for a cupple a years so it's kinda clear we a thing not a fling
were long lasting not just a quick  burst of hormones and physical addictions
I wanna feel you in every way but I wanna sit down and talk about your day
You were gone and I wasn't there
I miss you no put up your hair I like it when you use words to massage the parts of me that I only share with you
No matter what you being alive makes me wanna live life
It makes me wanna see the world
Cuz baby girl you make it easier to breath  
but at the same time my breath is short
I'm feeling light in the head
An weak in the knees
These feelings are intoxicating
A needle in my vain full of quality drugs can't match the moment you enter the room
Please baby come in leave and come right back into my heart
Every time I see your face after your dose of beauty has been outta my grasp even for just uno, dos, ... ****
thoes two seconds couldn't pass fast enough
I look you up and down I love your face your body is so perfectly curvy
Your outline got me followin the lines like I'm doin geometry
Girl you could make a man fall in love with math
I wanna find the angle you at when I'm holding yo ***
You catching feelings girl yea I know
Me an you we falling hard
we so hot our passion mealtin yards of snow at Christmas time
Green lawns in the winter months
We lounging like it's mid July
Sittin in a quiet place where it's easy to appreciate our own vibes
Can you feel me livin inside
I'm the reason that your heart keeps a smile
You the reason that my days go by to fast
Every moment with you is delicious I just want an order of it
Now super size it I want these feelings ta be never endin
Takin pictures now cuz in this life don't nothin last
I wanna look back and see how we used to act
baby can you handle this
Baby can you handle me
Life on the edge I see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
aint pay **** for it I got it all for free
Got home opened up the bag
Looked in to see your eyes starin back at me  
Used your vibes to fill a 100 CC IV
Baby please swim trough my veins
can feel the beat to my life
can you Bob yo head to the sounds when I live and breath
the notes inside my head keep me from fallin dead  
Every beat carry's  my soul and passion can you taste it
it's thick in the recipe they used to creat me
a mixture of insanity and passion
Someone please add a little common sense to to the mix it might help make a happier ending
I got the bravery but sometimes I just do
I don't always think and that's what's gonna tear me away from you
In a concreat cell that I can't even get up in without my feet freezing under me.
I make these dumb decisions when  I'm faced with two people opposing me
Mine or there's
So either you handle business or get punked out like you was raised buy some *******
I can't sit back and let these lames run they jaw
like they about they business
we throwing hands no question so baby I apologize If they start talking that **** and I ki one of them *******
I aint askin you to lie
I'm just asking you if you really about bein mine
Cuz if you were then you would stay solid hold back the fear and uncertinty
and tell all thoes people that wanna put me away
that I ain't do nothin that I'm innocent
and I'll tell the world that I love you till the very end
If you feel like you can't keep my secrets
Plz just do what your heart tells you is the right decision
cuz the truth will set you free
in that position it'll give me 25 years to think
25 years away from you
25 years away from me
25 years that I lose myself trying to find you inside my head
25 years to replay memories from the short time you been Makin my world seem brightened like your my sun your existing  decides if I live or die
Your memories never fade
I keep them in my mind on replay
Over and over in my head
slower and slower but still they move to fast
Glimpses of the recent past  that I wish my hardest would never pass
Baby can you handle this
Life on the edge I see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
Baby if I die will you ****** scream
Baby if I die tear your ****** vocal coards to peices singing this song on the top of the world
high as **** with your last **** down at the bottom in the scared little girl you left behind when you came home with me
let my name echo in the world baby
I wanna be heard
I want my memory to burn into the minds of the ones who are just like me
BHC
Black hoodie crew yea that's till death make a generation follow my every breath
I want you to be with me
when they introduce my crazy *** to the world you that's listning
When I have thousands of fans and my name they scream
I want you next to me
Baby shine with me
When it gets dark and your alone remember that I ****** love you and justbe greatfull that I was
once asked  to spread words that create lifestyles
lyrics that give people hope in the world even when your seeing shadows
I want people to wanna be me and I want them to want you cuz I have you and they can't you love me
Cuz they love what I stand for and you stand next to me girl
BABY CAN YOU HANDLE THIS????

Man... I'm so sick of this ****, taking like a politician, tryin ta act like a different person.
Even when im wrightin an gettin twisted.
Stayin up 3 days without sleepin even a second.
I feel like I abandoned my mission, of relatin to the worlds neglected children.
Started spitin **** that  made me sound like a *****.
but the truth is im still white, high, wearin black hoodies and  refusin to accept what I don't like.
Didint notice I was writtin any different I was just hella trippin on the white ****,
sittin up all night on hello poetry half dead, can't remember half of what I said. Just remember i wasn't making sense,
finly went to bed and im back again...

Finley Wearin all black again, bandana ironed in my back left again, but even on my brightest days i was born to sin.
So im still north side 14 only white boy allowed in. Pipe loaded with whatever for forever  someone better burry me with a peice in my pocket to chief on when they lower down my casket and lock it. Then pour little bit of 40 on top for the homie who never stopped kilin it.

I sincerely hope
You never felt like
Your love me for was
Not reciprocated

I wish I gave you
Everything that
You gave me but
I saw life distorted

My own I plans thwarted
I wonder if when love dies
Can you restore it?
When love runs it's course
Can you ignore it?

The feelings weren't mutal
Seems like in the end
You felt differently about me
No longer could you pretend
Remember what you said?

You broke my heart once
But never again?
You got me back in August
A month later you're finished
And I recall that I saw this

My dreams wake me early
Every single morning now
Heartbreak breaking a cycle
But I'm in mourning now
Feeling empty as my bedside

Wondering if of any of the drinks
And shots you've had since
If you've dedicated one to us
And all of the little things
That we shared together

Never been ashamed to admit
That losing you was
Losing more than love
I lost the one that knows me best
I lost one of my closest friends

Losing you feels like I lost my place
I still keep the pictures of us up
Just so I can see your face
And maybe I'm strange but
No one sees them anyway

I was me before we wrote our chapter
It hurts that you think I've changed
But I'm still me the page right after
If you still don't believe that
Or just can't see it right now

Remember that the Finley you met
The one you fell in love with then
Still loves you just as much
And misses you so very dearly
But don't worry about me, I'll be ok

Reading this poem I hope
That you can hear me
Because I speak sincerely
I always felt your love
I hope you felt it back

Love can be cold
Without reciprocation
That's why I carry guilt
My certain lack of dedication
You tried in everything

I just lost my patience
Got sick, went numb
Or gave in to  
Depressions deprivation
Like I said, don't worry

In the beginning...
   There is certainty
In the beginning...
    Has come to pass
In the beginning...
   Is not the question
   The one you're meaning to ask

What happens
after all the greats
Have ceased to walk the earth
What happens when there's nothing left
to make you feel that hurt
When war has ceased
But peace won't rule
When greyness conquers man
What happens
When the darkness lights
The truths from which we ran

What God is sovereign
When Mercy ends
And judgement takes its place
What blood can wash
away the sins
And the demons we have faced
What fairy tales
breathe purpose
Into empty broken men

What happens
I pray tell me
what happens in the end

-M.E. Finley