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Mike West Jan 2014
Animal Crackers and my soup
Undigested in my ****
All the food I ate today
Coming out in the same way
Uncontrollable urge to strain
Even though it causes pain
My poor sphincter it does burn
And my guts just churn and churn
Pepto Bismol my old friend
Go right now and put an end
To the horrible, rancid flow
Burning my **** as it does go
Cramping spasms all day long
Something I ate went horribly wrong
Could it be the salad or bread?
Or maybe something not quite dead?
Perhaps it was the chicken or stew
Or the fish, boo hoo hoo!
I'm just praying for an end
So my **** can start to mend
And then suddenly to my surprise
That nasty flow simply dies
Gleefully I start to wipe
But then as I start to swipe
I hit a very tender spot
That feels like it is now red hot
Now the Charmin feels real rough
Like tree bark or abrasive stuff
I finish wiping with great care
While the pain I grin and bear
At last I stand and flush with glee
That nasty stuff that came from me
A moment later to my shagrin
I feel the urge to sit again
Jeff Raheb Aug 2014
Spin me
Roll me
Turn me
Tearing off piece by piece
Not even stopping at the skin
Do my clothes look white and fluffy?
You certainly seem to think so
And no my name is not Scott

How many wipes are left anyway
I feel emptied
Right down to the cardboard
And these **** stains
don't even come out anymore

But lovers are like a roll of toilet paper
They're always being replaced
Jeremy Betts Feb 2021
{Political}

You know exactly who I'm referring to when I say...

They have this habitual political ritual of babbling on
Rambling wrong, your standard God complex politician
Standing in front of a congregation spewin' lies, oozin' corruption through thin skin
Politickin' about a mission we should sht on and skip the Charmin
This is my f
ck you dissertation, a doctrine based on real time observation
A deep dive into what has essentially become an unhealthy obsession with sin
Holding a position I'm told I have no right to speak on much less be a voice in
But if one life don't matter none, no life matters son
Including your own, don't confuse facts with opinion
Watching your tone would be wise in this situation
Hooked on the slogan defund every police station
Convinced it means let loose the entire prison population
You know, just for fun
Stoke the confusion, skip any and all explanation, no need for a reason
Willfully blind to the sedition, a corporation backed rebellion, it's open season for treason
To quote the law men, "we'll even hold the door for y'all till you're all in"
Then when they're leavin' make sure to welcome them back again
A simple bewildered complexion brings 'em satisfaction
Chaos the reflection of a lagit election
Regardless of the facts within reach, we witnessin' half a population claim fiction
Feel the friction
Destruction is the reaction, falling for a complex distraction
The consumption of our damnation overshadowed by a mutation of this god forsaken nation
How did we wind up in this position? How'd we let this happen?
I reckon we sure weren't just placed in this situation, a fraction of us stumped by long division
It''s by no means an answerless equation but a question we still debate on
Standing upon a soapbox trying to out crazy the competition
What was once neighborly is now seen as the opposition
Someone please just hit the gong so we can move on
Restoration is easier than resurrection so stay strong
Hope has been long gone for so long, maybe to long, a hopeless conclusion drawn
No anti venom for our venomous condition
A symptom raised from conception, taught to the young
We bet on corruption inside a polling station
Ballets a currency printed on different stationery then it's just simple addition
Still waiting on the announcement that we finally won
But that day will never come unless you're higher echelon
Controlled by the elusive free mason, I'm guessin'
Can't know for certain what side they on, influencing our direction from behind a curtain
A mission forgotten, a population forsaken
Praise God as dangerous as hail Satan
That should be a$$ backwards but it ain't wrong, I'm just sayin'
If you were payin' attention you wouldn't need an explanation
Incarceration eludes the criminals behind the walls of that white mansion
Not a single one ever pays for what they've done and that's fuel for frustration
The people scream out objection and beg for a proper ejection of this borderline evil pantheon
But they get to run over and over again every election and instead of serving up a strict ten day eviction
We just turn to digital b*tchin', no real action taken so we're stuck with this dangerous faction
One that holds Rome as its inspiration so you know this nation is collapsin' it's just a matter of when...and if we'll even make it to the end

©2021
Aric Wheeler Aug 2013
My mom had me when she was nineteen years old, but I wasn't an accident.

My mom had surgery the day before yesterday and I wasn't there to kiss her before she went in. She called me before and she left me a voicemail when she got out. She said she loved me and she missed me. I miss her too.

My mom hates washing more dishes than she has to, but she refuses to use the dish washer. We eat on paper plates and we have three sets of salad tongs that we got for free from Dion's Pizza. My mom goes to Sam's Club to buy Charmin and generic paper towels, she likes the hot dogs at Target, and she gets her iced non-fat mochas at McDonalds.

My mom is tiny. She weighs a hundred and ten pounds and is 5 feet 3 inches. She has fake *****, and long black hair down to her waist. She makes me feel safe.

My mom works two jobs, on top of taking care of three kids plus me. She makes Mama Mia mac and cheese, and Mama Mia meatloaf and Mama Mia fajitas, basically she makes food and calls it Mama Mia because she made it.

My mom is beautiful.
Wanted figs sweet seeds fringes
cluster of oh mmm charmin little freckles,
Myrrh & chessnut eyes teasing
chocolate  taste licking
me f a b u lo u s-ly
Skilled as a swift leopards paw
your ticklish personae forest.    forces
me to kneal as a sandalwood essence
mingles and trepidates
opiatic.     cocoa with lush vanilla
God on dew drops evaporating from
our skins.      covering high firenheits
lasting sensual excitement
superstars collidin and exploding
like supernovaes ....soooo good!!!
It's hot in here. . .
Imagines by Impeccable
Space Poetic love some
Cunning Linguist Sep 2018
Triggered much
I'm the boss
Take the loss -
I'm the sauce *****,
A1

Call my bluff
Mindless thots
Gobble ****
Catch me bustin
Like it ain't nut

Go to sleep

Fighting wars with keyboards,
While Grandma knits
Globally postal
Wit that anthrax mix
only hoping that reality splits;

These Lizard overlords
be slitherin quick
Underground:
u kno this wigga, B. Hittin-Licks

I’m ****** imminent  
to infinity and beyond
This dude buzzed lightyear,
Woody full attention;
Lil Bo Peep
She be getting no sleep,
Its a methed up situation yuh

This the celebration

Make yo ****
fissure into splinters
Crack the Ripper
with my finger
on the trigger
just hope it dont slip
~make you quiver
Rock a tight sphincter

Boi got nothing to lose
u bet your *** that I deliver
Devastating maneuvers
leave you hatin fools
Like who dis kid
with parkinsons jitters

Its a disgrace
cant lace ya shoes
But tryna play catch up
**** outta my face
*****,  hail the victor ya trippin'

Make no mistake,
my alias is satan
You lost the game
Restart the mission?

Dyslexic peasant,
I brought yo presents
I'm aggressive
reckless and relentless
got a rope necklace take some lessons

Finna hit em with that finisher
Sippin licks with dinner sure
Smokin out the villagers
**** and pillage conqueror
Down the bottle slurring words
Blurring out the big pictures
Swinging from a high fixture
Slanging sherm above the curve

rello I be rollin
biscuit limp but i be blowin
Out the water laps I'm stroking
Real **** love got homies choking

Smoke bricks kick rocks
Got the socks on with the flip flops

Golf cap on my noggin
Give me top like its hats off
grab some charmin
keep that *** soft
***** gravier than thicc sauce
Like my salad full toss
About to clobber em
Jump jump ***** crisscross

Taskforce Outlaws with chainsaws
Pale horse when that bass drop

And it’s occured to me
Since I lack the courtesy
To say the pleasantries
fore i be pushing out them boundaries

Killer O.J. quenches thirst
a murderous summer is the worst
But if the glove fits, must acquit
need a magnum, Jonnie Cochran
blast em wit the Chewbacca defense

Flowerboy spit my seed *****
Loose lips in the whip aye
Firmly grasp the shaft
when I switch lanes
Pallets of ******* call me rick James
Pull up round the clock
Gone off that rock
Knocked my mf block off ***** I'm insane
Tha fire token renegade

through that snapback
Spills ya ****** brains
16/19 May 2014*

Jane, I remember
How you took my heart away
Just like that, your words
Are pressure ‘n’ friction
Rubbed back ‘n’ forth
To beget a single spark
Set my heart on fire, burnt with d’sire
But we were young ‘n’ innocent
I thought it would pass, soon
But I was wrong

I asked myself,
When did I start writin’ letters?
And never send them.
If I did, t’was twice or thrice written
My head was happy, but my heart wasn’t
Half-heartedly tellin' you what I feel
Never lettin’ you know how much I love you
Just words: generic ‘n’ meaningless
Always sayin’ it’s not yet time

You didn’t even know
All those feelings ‘n’ gestures
Were switchin’ on ‘n’ off
Some days I would feel strongly ‘bout you
Some other, I didn’t know
Never findin’ courage to tell you
B’cause I wasn‘t sure anymore

Your smiles, always remind me
Of the sun, so warm ‘n’ raw
Decisively charmin’ ‘n’ infectious
All life glowin’, yet completely lethal
It melts my heart every time I see you smile.
I could go on like that forever.

I didn’t just picked you, I chose you
And I’m thankful to Him twice my life already
Someday, the butterfly in your finger will fly
Wherever it takes you,
I hope I’m the one you remember
I feel light ‘n’ happy to be able share to you
Like the first time, I’ve atoned for my sins

I blew up a lot of chances
But you always come around
When I almost lost you
I just accepted the fact
That this, this will ne’er gonna happen
Not in this lifetime.

But here comes the universe
And surprisingly conspires with me again
I had so little time to tell you this
And so many times that I wanted to
But my mouth will not cooperate.
I lose my thoughts.
I get cold feet.
I can’t catch my breath.
So I changed my mind every time
I come near you

I would’ve wanted to explain myself
But I didn’t get an openin’ to do so
And I didn’t know where to start.
B’cause if I did,
You will know the storms inside me
And if I crossed the line,
I knew there was no comin' back.
I was not prepared to lose you

I played the game
Of spillin' clues ‘n’ gut-feels,
But it didn’t work out, right?
That feelin' when you like
Someone so much that you think
And overthink how to tell her
And how anxious you are
That she may not feel
The same way about you.
All this time and in between,
I was just too scared to do that
My insecurities eat me again

Walk to the town ‘n’ out of the blue,
We have no more words to say
The silence was awkward,
I wanted to grab your hand ‘n’ hold it,
So we don’t have to talk much.
But I guess, it would’ve been worse
I don’t know why you do that to me.
I have a lot in my mind to say,
But I cannot speak.  
Thank you for keepin’ me company.

I’m sorry if it took me so long
To say all these bottled-up feelings.  
It’s been runnin’ in circles around me
And now I want to resolve them.
I want to make peace with myself.
But I have not acted upon it.
I always did calculated moves
Held back my thoughts before you
I didn’t want to lose,
Before I get even started

I cannot assure myself this, yet now I can.
With all the ups ‘n’ downs I’ve been through,
Pain is no different already.
I am no longer afraid
To the thought of gettin’ hurt
I love you and I’ll be—
Hurtin' for that, forever.

All the poems I wrote you
We’re not even close as half
To what I want you to read
I have written so much
That I’ve been dyin' for the day
You can finally read them
I wonder if it will ever come

These feelings could've gone
All the way forever without you knowin’
But, you were ignorin’ me.
I don’t know why.
I think of you all the time.
I had this emotional baggage
For the longest time now
And at some point, I knew,
It would snap.
I had to release them.
I tried so much to contain them
B’cause I value everythin’ that we have now,
Our relationship with each other.
I am happy that we are friends
I’m very lucky to have met
Someone like you.
But, I just have to let it go somehow.

You’re like a best-sellin’ book
Or a dandy set of clothes
That I can be contented
Just watchin’ from the outside.
But with that glass in between,
I will not know how good that book is—
Or if those clothes will fit me nicely.
I have to read it or fit it.
I believe there’s so much more
That I have to know about you
And that girl outside the glass
Is so much more inside.

You tormented me, Jane
Into summer blues and,
Cold ‘n’ lonely rainy nights
Listenin’ to the mixed tape I gave you
Lookin’ at the picture of you
In a painting I draw
But you didn’t see me
The sunglasses covered your eyes
I don’t know if you chose to
But this is the price, I have to pay
For not tellin’ you, the truth
But now, I did.

I just want to say sorry
All these feelings long bottled-up
Have escaped completely from me
I have to hold myself back
Never wantin’ you to hold on
To whatever that has to do with me

Maybe, I can go on and one day
I will be over you
Everythin’ in its proper places
I have loved you for five years
But for now, it’s time
For me, to stop countin’
All of the stars or sheep
I’ll watch them from here
Who knows, maybe it’s still you
At the end of the universe
Forgive me for the length. Some stories cannot be contained. Love again, L.
Lately I am quite bothered by an
Innocent comment from a friend
Who explained, how he only obtains
Pain, when he reads what my pen

Gets sent, from an end
my mom Says was damaged at birth
And all though it's a joke. I'm told
Every joke contains truth, so first

Let me warn you of the absurd
Outbursts that may occur as u read
Hyperboles, that fabricate trolls that
patrol, with holes in their soul, lead

With similes that prove chivalry
Has now shriveled like these
Two nuts, hidden by my gut so if I
erupt, and ****** proceeds

Excuse the poetic **** bleed;
That are like a *******'s **** beads
But it's how I express what's painfully painful to me, don't be **** please

With that said, so I can now tread.
And wrap my head around the topic
explaining, why all my poetry
is sad, and often

It's cuz life is a beach, like the tropics
And when it's not, to be honest
I get lost in the moment, but also
When I try to write "happy" it's novice

And is more narcissistic garbage
Self righteous, lacking meaning
Like.. Look Here... I'm happy & gay today, oh ur hungry? Cuz..I'm eating

And you should too! Oh your broke?
Your down? I get those days too
So here's a rainbows & a flying unicorn that ***** glitter when he poos

And Don't you worry my friend,
It's always darkest before ****
Everything happens for a reason,
Your grampas cancer will soon be gone

soon as he's dead, So it'll work out
By the way I used that example, cuz
My grandfather died of cancer a few years back, and I was told that it was

For a reason. But when your readin
You want honesty, poetry that's blunt
So I refuse to **** my reader, like a
Preacher, who touches a boys butts

But in a godly way of course, cuz he's a
Man of god... Are you annoyed?
Cuz that's what rainbows & butterflies sound like to a reading alter boy

Looking for solace, looking for depth
Someone who knows how inept
How lonely, this ****** phony world
That only the snakes seem to get

What they want, and flaunt,
so it can haunt them more,
But most don't get what they want cuz
theyre too busy just trying to afford

What they need, and when the Greed
Exceeds what optimism is left
All they have is knowing how sad.
Another felt, cuz relating has swept

Away the feeling, so hard to accept
When their overwhelming life crept
With emotion. Bringing the notion
He can't relate to people or connect

So both monetary & Mental pay
Starts to mount, as a debt
Shows amounts to physically mount him. Til he even feels short on breath

Starting to consider that only death
Can relieve whats received so yes
Forgive me if my writing lacks,
Calming oceans, possessing even less

Patronizing, condescension, set
On a scenic mountain top, where I
Tell u how beautiful, ur office cubical
That's suitable for monkeys is, why?

It's a lie, but ok...the sun will come our
Tomorrow like Annie would say
So when it comes Tell ur creditors who Harass you 200 times, a day

That today's a new day. And that debts
yesterdays, and should be left
In the past. Where they say, to leave
Worries, which is insulting, but yet

I AM the dark one, with poems lacking
Goldielocks featuring her poorage
Or Snow White who lives with 7 men? deflowered more than florist is

Deflowering, & who am I to question a phony psychedelic, enchanted Forrest
It's not my business who's Orifice
A draf is, usin like it's a drawer of his

Cuz dwarfism like Orphism's an art, Snow White users for organisms
No wait, that's not right. Anyway...  
Where was I? ..rightt? ***** division

So, fill up the tub with ice. Make sure
Your "patient"s subdued.. No wait
Ooops ... Guardian angels, playing harps, on a cloud feeding you grapes

As Sunshine, hits your face, with
Beautiful UV rays, but...My concern
Is how misleading, it is when reading
Cuz even a beautiful sun can burn

Telling sometimes ****** things in turn
Happen without any reason
Sometimes good people die & do You know why?cuz if not wed be heevens    

Even more so. Than we are so even
My Sad poems can bring you joy
As much as happy ones, do when a gay teen grows up, & no longer a boy

And faces the pressures of coming out, he can choose this, what is charmin' ya
Or continue to feel safer In ur fantasy
Poem of a closet ..... But Narnia

Doesn't exist. So I leave him this,
Along With the lost, emotional kids
To let em know every scar life gives
Is a trophy, earned, and the life we live

Is Not always rainbows, hugs, kiss
But that's why it's beautiful when it is
& every word stands in this
For every cut on angry teens wrist

To symbolize, he's not not alone.
Or That shes all she needs to be
And I'm sorry to the rest, but this ....
Is rainbows and butterflies to me ...
norris rolle Feb 2011
I like the way she takes advantage.
But tell me, how am I  gonna manage
If she does damage?
Is that what the plan is?

One more time and I'll be a goner.
I wish that someone would put a leash on her.
All night long I sound loke a mourner.
Hot under the collar,
She's making me holler'.

When we're together the roles are reversed.
I be the last and she be the first.
I be the blessing, she be the curse.
Makin' it hurt.
Puttin' in work.
But all in all, it's quenching her thirst.

Sweet agony;
In harmony
With what's harmin' me,
And charmin' me;
The way that you're disarming me;
This has to be sweet agony.
Natalie V Mar 2013
My teacher told me everyone was a liar , institutions , family ,church!
He was telling me about our hopeless young generation
Dissapointed on life that's what he seemed.
I smiled and told him not to worry , there were people who was good .
besides everybody is a liar maybe he was lying too.

Then i realiized life it's not worth for any sadness nor fatalism or regret.
Life is beautiful and charmin' only there you'll find love lies too.
We knew it was coming. That doesn’t make us foolish for trying, for loving. It doesn’t make us melodramatic for expressing real grief.
Stupidity and bravery often go hand in hand and only in hindsight does one become the obvious answer, and it usually depends on the result.
From the outside right now, my results look like crying my way through an entire roll of Charmin. Though it’s hard to stomach much when I’m truly upset, give it a week and my results will also look like projecting my feelings onto cheese fries and then devouring them, hoping the rest of the situation disappears as quickly.
Right now, I may look stupid. But I know better.

We ventured into a finite period of time where the only certainties were pain and moving forward. Stupid, or brave?
We met families and friends and held no secrets for ourselves because we would have done these things anyway. We didn’t hold back our feelings or shy from being public. I’m divulging the inner workings of my sorrow to the world. Stupid, or brave?

As the one and only Elizabeth Gilbert writes, “Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would just be…a prudent insurance policy.”

If we didn’t do anything we knew would end, what would we do?
CJ Sutherland Mar 2018
Raised by my father
I was knee high to a grasshopper
My brothers and sister and I had
Many Nannies and Babysitters

When I turned sixteen
I applied for my drivers permit
The paperwork returned
Wrong date of birth

It had to be a mistake
Crazy right  everyone knows
their own birthdate

I Requested my birth certificate
Come to find out
My birthday is 13 days later
I felt lost in the shuffle

Forgotten hurt
Of course leave it to
One brother to call every year
On my fake birthday
Laughing
happy fake birthday


the irony I was my father’s favorite
Charmin Carmen
Well at least he calls right in a day when families drift apart
Saroj Basnet Sep 2018
Yes it is weird...
As U saw me but I never turn up
becz my Eyes can't handle
those charmin' gaze of ur Stars.

Yes it is weird...
As u felt me but I never sensed u
becz my Body can't handle
those slushy whiff of ur Soul.

Yes it is weird...
As u still won't let go but I never let u hold
becz my Hands can't assist
those pleachy finger of ur Shape.

Yes it is weird...
As we met as strangers yet to be nobody
becz my Heart can't resist
those nourishin' lure of ur Core.
I think .....sometimes is good to be Wierd.
Marigolds Fever Aug 2019
In An Instant - C
One Fine day - G
It can all be Taken away - Dm
Taken away - A

Your view can change - G
As it all becomes so strange - F
That blue sky so blue - C
As you try to hav a clue - A
Whats that view? - G

(Back to chorus)
In An Instant - C
One Fine day - G
It can all be Taken away - Dm
Taken away - A

A smile so charmin & slick - G
As you post your latest pic  - F
It all goes by like a movie flick - C
Are you seizing the opportunity - A  
Or crying out for a little unity? - G

(Back to chorus)
In An Instant - C
One Fine day - G
It can all be Taken away - Dm
Taken away - A

A beautiful night keepin the light - G
Forever burnin bright - F
Treat it as your last - C
Because the moment just passed - A
Is life about the overcast? - G

(Back to chorus)
In An Instant - C
One Fine day - G
It can all be Taken away - Dm
Taken away - A
Taken awayyyyy - A (softly strum)
End
Written by Marigolds Fever & Copyrighted For Scott 2019
Cassztiel Haagen Feb 2019
38
You may turn 38, 49, or 65
know that in my eyes you're still that 35 years old,
eyes blazin',
charmin',
that I'd love for the rest of my life
May every path be smooth for you,
and may happiness always be in every step
you take

Happy Birthday, you.
thomezzz Aug 2020
i wonder if you remember
the presence of me
because i’m constantly reminded
by your faded memory

it lingered in the Sunday laundry
and ghoulishly appeared in a frame
popped up on the car radio
and frightened me all the same

as i packed your things,
it was in a card for my birthday
and eerily in a box of frosted flakes
i guess i never liked them anyway

later, it would quietly permeate
a passing tv commercial for charmin
remember how we used to laugh
i have those memories every now and then

i hope where you are is better
than where we were together

i wonder if you remember
the presence of me
because i was constantly reminded
by your faded memory
"Step Off by Mario William Vitale" Poetry.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. <http://www.poetry.net/poem/46256>.



in the dark...
below the huskie wee wee..the doggy wee wee,
use me above the known see the humble
buckle up to the word of the wise best to reflect on life
sugar cane and spice..

host a canary to a new box swing
chase across the patio nor porch box swing
realize the amount of f requenzy
tresure beneath the trees
bending the miracle need

love is for winners falling short to a losser
medoicre branded fixture all as in element fixture
money back to recieve
faces of laughter hardest to bleed

love the pusher refelect upon God
in the dark we can see through the light hardened peak of ghetto hype
swing pillows to accustom a tease eager seat as a donut in need of a cop
radiate lest forth you contemplate gee how you radiates

jealosy with a host of Charmin as you please
in the dark one can chase what is right
check the radio hear the needle sratch
over and over

built in the cover melted *** with a inch of butter
in the dark the chance to an ordeal
waiting for my very next meal,
police chase a coward in the face with mace

love is so tender and polite pay no atteintion to its blight
Jenni Littzi Nov 2019
Just a sweet and fragile girl
Trying to figure out the world
Riddled with fear and anxiety
Learning who one should be

How did life become such a mess?
I disgress, now I  feel emotional less
I usually care way too much, too fast
But something changed since the past
I am robotic, so not the norm for me
I live on, now become, less emotionally

I have cried a trillion times in life
But it seems I have finally run dry
I have given away so much of me
That there’s nothing left to see

How did life become such a mess?
I disgress, now I  feel emotional less
I usually care way too much, too fast
But something changed since the past
I am robotic, so not the norm for me
I live on, now become, less emotionally

They say that life is karmic
But I haven’t been so charmin’

How did life become such a mess?
I disgress, now I  feel emotional less
I usually care way too much, too fast
But something changed since the past
I am robotic, so not the norm for me
I live on, now become, less emotionally
She makes me want to do things that I should do and I want to do those things too, but here I am with my feet up looking older and beat up, I wonder if we'll meet up next week.
there's a hoarding or a boarding on the broadway in Tooting with a picture of a tropical isle on it, I want to be there, on the isle, not in Tooting, and someone puts the boot in and says you can't afford it.

But it's Tuesday and so there's still time to make hay but where's the sunshine?
oh
ain't it bloomin' charmin'
and yet
there's  definitely no harm in
dreaming,

I'm still in ****** Tooting and
it's just started to rain.
Oh,
ain't it bleedin' charmin'
its started ****** raining
and me
with washing on the line.

the work is never done
there's never any friggin' sun
and I am piggin' sick.

Thank god
I am the quick and well read
or something like that.
andi Apr 2020
what dictates a date anymore?
i'm unsure.
ever since the virus struck, i've questioned so much.
is my degree working toward something considered "essential"
or will one day in the future when another sickness rules, i be laid off
and labeled
non-essential?

my whole life i've been non-essential in people's lives.
i've been the off-brand toilet paper that people wait till the charmin's run out to buy.
i've been the wal-mart brand frozen pizza that serves slightly less purpose than digiorno.
why haven't i ever been the prego? the heinz?

i wonder why.

and what dictates who i am?
is it the labeling on my outside, or the contents within?
what did you look for first? my bright colored packaging or the nutritional value on the back of my canister?
did you search how many calories i carry? the baggage i've brought along during my stroll through the store?

if people are browsing ever so constantly, why am i always left to live through my shelf life?
until you picked me up.
oh, god, you picked me up off the shelf and you looked at me for much longer than anyone else did!

what happened to the stroll in the store? i'm gliding.
you've whisked me up and it seems as though you didn't even get a chance to see what i've been through: you've decided. you want me.
i want you too.

what dictates a date anymore?
is it a stroll in the grocery store?
i hope this is true, i want to be with you.
Even as an old curmudgeon, aye pucker
and raspily suction, albeit toothless mouth
drawing reminiscent guffaws affecting
(think feeble attempt
impersonating plumber plunging -
unclogging backed up toilet),
flushed with satisfaction,
now snakes into following non sequitur,
whereby then upperclassman,
whose name Scott Lambert

I suddenly remembered
modest fellow one year my senior  
- donned tee shirt
“please support your local ******”
yes folks back in the day,
one long haired pencil neck geek
palled around with another
hirsute nerd - Roger Kummerer,
(who both of us graduated Methacton
High School class of 1977),

and yours truly readily
admitting, alluding, and attesting
without shadow of doubt
representing the dumber
than rocks of said rolling stones
foo fighting beastie boys
allied with Smokey and the bandits,
the latter donning outsize
particolored grey pachyderm trunks,
Tuscaloosa so far away;

especially as Mummer doth strut
on unseasonably warm New Year's Day
sporting polar bear look-alike
gabardine garb getup trumpeting,
merrily squeezing Charmin
rubbing her/his tuchus
excellently exhibiting posterior
as chief motormouth sound
of combo motorboat hummer.

Mein kampf elapsed distressfully
even now scores of decades later
ah..., the joys of amazingly aging gracefully
recalling happily never
being beat into pulp daily courtesy
imagine dragons saving me hide  
'though dimming sense and sensibility
before (appearing gratefully dead)
lifeless body dumped into gully,
nevertheless all the while fully
maintaining consciousness, and forcefully
summoning forth latent powers gleefully
choking living daylights masterfully

delivering just desserts upon Tom Viglione,
whose plaintive laments truthfully
resonate as blessed music
to ears unaccustomed hearing pitifully
sounding long overdue comeuppance
forever disbelieving wrongfully
perpetrated intimidating injustice
witnessed courtesy mine doppelgänger,
who wanted to strangle  
the m*r f*rs yearningly
fueling an ordinarily meek lad
only in his dreams, he envisions zestfully.

Pugnacious thuggish hooligans... although
decades long since elapsed,
whereby muscle bound hoodlums
jockeyed to rain
one after another verbal Hawaiian punch,
and bandied fist viz physical blow
threatening introverted diminutive boy
who, no surprise did eventually,
albeit (shamefacedly, sneakingly,
and stuntedly) didst grow

(as an aside resembled anorexic
Kris Kringle **... **... **...),
which long sleeved Santa suit
rendered invisible liver spots;      
said epidermal splotches black and indigo
wracked (in my pinion), impacted, and affected...,
this punster, he haint Joe
King, but upholds true value
nudging anonymous reader to chuckle
thru contrived written words y'know

good humor less or mo'
yours truly aspires toward po'
whit tree linkedin with infusing,
feebly, lamely, and quirkily
(no matter recognizing ex post facto)
impossible mission reporting punks to principal,
hence describing, envisioning, forsaking passivity
as defensive modus operandi status quo
finally freeing mine unsung
inner foreigner juke box hero.
J-REMY Oct 2017
somebody/anybody else, please feel my pain today? someone else please live under my skin this day? you itch, you gnaw, you try and crawl out of this never ending pit of lies and disgust for just one lousy day. I’d rather you bite my nails down to the hyponychium and cuticles; oh yes, you! tremble with my panic and anxiety. indeed! you are having multi-strokes in the numb left side of this face and this arm. it’s just the tumors! they’ve been festering in my intestines, biding their time til they force me to **** blood and puke my half bologna, half bile sandwhich into my **** and **** stained toilet, hunched over and hugging porcelain, knees sticking to ***** stained linoleum tile. right, ok, sit up now, wipe the spongy chunks of wonder bread from the corners of my lips, dab my sweaty brow with the boxers that have been soiling my hamper for 2 weeks. no hand towels, no charmin ultra for this bear to brunt. thanks for squeezing your fat *** into my fat *** today; now you lie to them as they laugh at you and call you pitiful. tell them it’s alright, that you’re ok, though clearly everyone sees that you’re too broken for repair. oh brave soul, much braver than my own, slither up my deviated septum, dine on my soggy ramen noodle soup of a brain. venture down my esophagus and trachea, rough like 100 grit sandpaper from caked walls of ******* residue and nicotine char. glide past the glacial palace of solitude that is my heart, pumping frigid blood through my veins like the red slushy machine at the 7-11 on the corner of 23rd and park. take a quick left and warm yourself in the hot springs of my swollen liver, bathe in the desecrated pools of fermented 6 dollar a liter ***** that has been flowing steadily for 10 long years. yes my helpful and gracious friend, commandeer this deserted, destitute, shell of a once decent human being that I have been inhabiting as its host. assuage my cowardly existence, relieve me of this post...
Mark Koplin Apr 2020
With an unprecedented shortage of basic supplies
People worldwide are learning to be wise.
Loo rolls, medicine and the safety mask.
Making do with what we already have is the new task.

I’ve seen diapers and bras used as new safety covers.
Drugs for malaria and stool softeners as miracle cures, are just a few among others.
Even the orange headed one is coming up with new treatment ideas.
The new scene for loo rolls is now our expired tortillas.

Slowly thawed or quickly nuked with the microwave oven
Soft and abundant and recently discovered is the new lovin.
It might not be charmin, but equally as soft on the ****.
Biodegradable and able to flush, no longer needed is the backyard bush.
Just looking for a few smiles in a trying time. Be safe everyone!
Will your Nancy-boy love tricks be scorchingly hot & juicily tender
like a basting turkey bird, or cold & rigid like a cream-sickled ****?  
Your swollen-stiff ***** carry more milk than a tanker ship'll, with
each sporting a petcock that, in ****** vernacular, is called a ******
to gay, Charmin-squeezing **** Wilson wiping *** as Mr. Whipple
whose other hobby was ******' off the pope with Prayers for Bobby
I wait by the chain-link gate away from my Purina dog dish & plate
'cause it's the waiting I hate when your sorry, dog-feeding *** is late

— The End —