He smiled at me and said 'here, take this'

It was a happy little pill of his and it would feel bliss

I smiled and gave him a kiss saying, 'thank you baby'

But what happened next forever will drive me crazy

Next thing you know I was spinning in my head

Then he wanted to bring me to a bed

His friends walked in and wanted more

So they all called me a ‘***** little *****’

My body was numb and I couldn’t move

I let out a scream but they didn’t approve

Everything went black but then again I woke

But to them it was nothing but a funny little joke

They locked me inside of a walk in closet

So if there was a stir I sure wouldn’t cause it

I blacked out again and woke in a different place

Treating me as if my soul were missing and my body were a case

Still I was unable to move nor speak

But he still said he loved me and kissed me on the cheek

I counted five inhumane beings on top of me moaning

One was even playfully groaning

I was disgusted and wanted it to end

But I knew that after this my mind would never mend

By now it would have been a little past three in the morning

Earlier I should have taken that adorable face as a warning

When they realized I was sobering up

They had an alibi saying they’d call this a hookup

When I could finally move my mouth again

I realized what had happened and felt heavy chest pain

They heard that I was muttering words that were incomprehensible

They saw me as nothing more than a body and that I was dispensable

They came up with a plan to hide my body in a ditch

I even heard one say, 'she deserved it, what a stupid *****'

I hit my head when they threw me on the ground

I only saw black in front of me and around

I woke up to a woman asking if I were okay

I only said one phrase and it was that 'I was betrayed'

What happened after that is irrelevant at best

All I will say is that I was nothing but stressed

This is my story and it happened two years ago today

Nailing an image in my mind that I was a targeted prey

I know now that I hold so much more worth

And I love myself more than anything on this Earth

Just know that these words have come straight from my heart

No matter how vile and disgusting this memory is, I can never restart

So I tried to make it a poem so it seems like some kind of art.

h.m.w

I knew better than to fall for you.
Yet here I am, at 1 AM.
Thinking about you, while you're thinking about her.
I knew you would hurt me.
I knew you would leave.
I knew you didn't plan on staying.
I knew a lot better than to love and care about you.
I always knew, we would be great together.
That the world would no longer be a place to hate, but a place I wanted to explore and enjoy with you.
I was perfectly fine before you showed up. Depressed and lonely, just how I liked to be.
I knew you would build me all the way up, make me feel like I was walking on air, only to push me down, and make me want nothing more than to be six feet under ground. Away from you and the rest of the ugly hearts in this cruel world.
I knew you would go back to her.
I knew she would make you fall all over again.
You said you wouldn't . Yet here you are, on my mind and I am once again writing endlessly about you.
I knew it would hurt.
I wish I knew enough, to not have done any of it.
I knew better.

Touched you in many ways
The feelings last for many days
Left you shaking like a page
The thoughts still amaze
Momeries come in waves
My stomach churns
as my body graves