they'll say you're too
young and you have
no experience and you
don't know what you're
doing and it's impossible
at your age but *******
it you know what you
feel and you're not about
to let that go for anyone or
anything and that's all that
matters

you left a hole
in my heart and
i know you didn't
mean to but **** it
it hurts and i can't make
it stop

you can't call me at
4am and expect me
to apologize for all
of your mistakes and
you can't tell me what
to do all of the time
and call that love and
you can't question my
every move  and say
that it's all my fault and
you can't control me
anymore

you called
me so many
names i could
barely keep track
but i did and i can't
help but wonder how
i let you hurt me so often
or how i managed to stay sane

there's nothing beautifully
tragic about wanting to slit
your wrist open and drown
in your own blood
there's no one to wipe away
your tears and sing you a
lullaby while you fall asleep
in their arms
there's not going to be some
sort of miracle person that
will burst into your life and
take away all of the tragedy
and pain
you have to do it yourself
you have to pick yourself up
brush off your knees
save yourself

you always got frustrated
because i refused to use any
capital letters and hated
punctuation
you said everything looked
like one giant sentence and
it confused you
i never told you that i typed
only with these tiny letters and
spaces and apostrophes in
fear that if i didn't i'd never
get everything out in time

it's late and everyone's
asleep but i slept until
5pm
lately i've been sleeping
all day to avoid thinking
about you but *******
these nights get so lonely
and i'm so cold
please tell me why you're
doing this stop telling me
your blood's on my hands
you're ******* killing me
here

these poems are so
short but so was our
time and so was the
moment on christmas
eve when you looked
at me and promised
you'd never say
anything to hurt me

i don't know what
to do and i'm shaking
and i can't stand up
and i'm falling apart
here and will i ever
stop crying and will
you ever start
caring

i can't believe this
is what became of
all of the fighting
and crying and
yelling and
you and i

i'll tear my skin away
down to the bone
will you see me then?
will you notice my pain?
will you see how hard i'm
trying?
or will you ignore me as
though i don't exist?
******* it.
you are the whole *******
solar system
and i'm a piece of satellite
debris,
floating around you,
never really meaning
anything.

my body is torn not exactly
down the middle but ****
near it and god these veins
are trying so hard to keep me
from falling to pieces have
you even noticed? if you had
i doubt you would care why
won't you care about me?
better yet, why won't you
admit you don't.