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SWebster Mar 2020
A kiss
Left unanswered
A kiss
withdrawn
A kiss
Misplaced
A kiss
Forgotten
And A kiss
Submerged into icey waters
To be burnt in frost.
Lips alone, cold and barren
SWebster Mar 2020
That pain you feel?
Those nails digging into your skin?
That blade you feel?
It’s for you.
It’s to teach you that it’s your fault.
You should know better
You should care less
And you are stupid for not learning by now.
SWebster Aug 2019
Hey
I’m feeling pretty low,
Just feel adrift and stuck and don’t know which choice to make.
So I make no choice essentially,
the coward’s choice.
Looking at the thin strip of red-
barely visible, already fading-
I feel proud?? As though I have been resisting for so long, such an age and I finally managed it. I achieved a mark.
Albeit only a sliver, a skin scratch, one without blood
It gives me hope that there can be more
(A return to the past)
And maybe something deeper, one which will drip.
Something I’ve just written, a letter to myself.
SWebster Dec 2019
When do you feel the loneliness?
When the wind streams through the sky,
When the leaves are shaken from their branches;
When I see the blue overhead
And the lies in your smile.
When I see your eyes looking at me
And your words dripping from your lips.
That is when I know: I am alone.
SWebster Jan 2020
Burn it all.
I want to strike the match that turns this to ash,
I’m sick of living this
I want it destroyed
I want it burnt
I want to taste the bitter victory of cinders in the air.
I will stamp the embers out
So all that is left is grey, black and white.
SWebster Oct 2019
Shore up the banks and wait for the waves to crash.
Sand slowly dissolving,
Taken by the water,
Stolen by the water.
The waves will come to conquer
And the land must surrender
Just the feelings of despair
SWebster Nov 2019
It’s not big this crow of mine.
Head cocked, observing time.
Perfectly sized to sit upon my windowsill,
Reminding me that dread and fear are a bitter pill.
It calls to me
Stopping me.
I can’t hide and I can’t pretend,
It sees me, watches me my friend.
Waiting and lurking till the end.
SWebster Feb 2020
There you sit
In your leather jacket.
Lips around a bottle of beer
Easy smile and smirking eyes.
I can’t help but walk over
And lay myself bare
Leaning across
Just to touch.
Skin on skin.
Lips brushing your ear
I do not whisper sweet nothings
But whisper scenes of obscenity
Visions of submission.
I feel your breath quicken as I move away
Hoping you will follow.
SWebster Feb 2020
Exhaustion tears through my heart
My mind stutters over thoughts
My lungs ache from breathing
And I’m itching for emptiness.
SWebster May 2020
I’m not happy.
I want to cry and crumple.
To scream.
But where is the point?
The day is the same, the air remains and the birds still screech.
So I stay silent.
No voice given to the devastation inside.
SWebster Jan 2020
I cannot understand
what to do with
these emotions.
So intense, too much.
I can’t breath I can’t scream I can’t shout.
My voice has been choked from me,
Strangled. Silenced.
The rage- burning, wrapped around me, laughing.
So I breathe the only way I can: bleeding red, blue and purple.
The air escapes
And the fury retreats to watching and waiting.
SWebster Apr 2020
You knew you would end up here:
Winding ripping at your hair,
Eyes burning with tears
And hands clasping sand.
SWebster Jan 2020
There: just under the surface,
I can see your truth seeping through,
I can hear the agony shattering your voice,
I can feel the tremor in your body.
Like a torrent of ice, you freeze.
For a second.
For a moment.
You know the truth is laid bare.
Needles and thread used to bind, used to hide.
There: just under the surface- nothing.
SWebster Oct 2019
What if I were to kiss you?
What if I were to lean across and place my lips upon yours?
Would you part you lips and stroke your tongue against mine?
Would you run your fingers through my hair and press me closer to you?

What if I were to kiss you?
What if I were to place my hand upon your thigh and run them a little higher?
Would you press your body to mine so that I could feel you against me?
Would you place your hands upon my hips to move me closer?

What if I were to kiss you?
Would you kiss me back?
SWebster Feb 2020
Our love in the Wintertime
has passed through the Spring, Summer and Autumn.  
Our love in the Wintertime
is frozen underneath layers of mistrust, hurt and anger.
Our love in the Wintertime
has been drenched in ice
petrified into silence where no-one speaks .
Our love in the Wintertime
is hibernating, waiting for the spring sunlight
to thaw these bitter hearts.
Our love in the Wintertime
has frosted over,
withered in the Autumn to die in the Winter.
SWebster Oct 2019
I would strip each item away for your gaze.
I would stand to be adored,
I would obey to be controlled,
And I would bend to be touched.
The press of your hands upon my skin.
Marked and claimed and owned.
SWebster Oct 2020
Where there is peace
there is silence.
Peace is simply the absence of noise.
The calmness in your soul is mistaken for loneliness.
SWebster Feb 2020
Thread the needle
Tie the knot
There’s the wound
Pulsing hot
Pierce the flesh
Shut the cut
It’s infected
Festering but
No longer bleeding
At least not now.
Let’s pretend it’s all ok as long as we can plaster over the cracks, what’s there to talk about?
SWebster Oct 2019
There: skin dull and purple.
Here: I feel the ache, coloured blue.
Each one is wanted,
each one is displayed.
They have been earned.
I am able to take the pain,
I am able to endure the anger,
I have taken what was given.
I remain and the fury has been silenced.
Just some thoughts on how I felt when I was younger although I would probably feel the same if I were to do this again.
SWebster Nov 2019
Pitiful.
I sit with the blade in my hand
And all I’ve managed is a slice to the skin.
There’s no blood no tearing of the flesh.
I’ve returned to cutting
But I’m not taking this seriously.
Where once I would gouge a hole,
Where once I would part my flesh to see the blood run,
I am now a novice.
Just pathetic.
SWebster Mar 2020
Mud brown eyes and bent nose
***** skin and straggly hair.
Calls unanswered
Ignored and unwanted.
2D, flat, plain and uninteresting.
Nothing to contribute
A collection of roles, services rendered
And monotony personified.
Empty, devoid and boring.
Why I chose to write this about myself I don’t know but here we are.
SWebster Jan 2020
Such bitterness and such fury
Directed at you but really should be reflected
Time is the water to soothe
Reminding me that change is to come.
SWebster Jan 2020
So pretty
Adorning my skin;
So stark
Against my skin.
There’s no denying what you are
Only denying why you’re there.
I have been able to hide you
But if someone asked, what would I say?
Razor blade accident?
But why would it be:
so deep, so wide, so long?
(To keep me from loosing my mind.)
So pretty
Across my skin.
You call to me-
reminding me of the nights where I found release, where I found relief.
The pain only transferred never truly soothed.
SWebster Nov 2019
I want to lie and be still.
I want to feel the burn building,
I want to feel the cold teasing,
I want to see the steel dancing across my body.
Drag and scratch.
Burn and play.
SWebster Sep 2020
Were there clouds upon the sea
For they would shelter me;
Were there string tied to my heart
For you to pull them to and fro;
Were there clarity in my mind
So that i May function half the time.
Were there peace in my soul
So I would not lust after you no more.
SWebster May 2020
The weeds grow long and tall
Curling into the crevices.
The grass has died back , yellow and withered.
I turn my back because it breaks my heart to see the flowers trampled.
I haven’t taken care and I haven’t planted.
This land has died and I can’t bare to look.
SWebster Jan 2020
I can’t quite see
And I can’t quite swallow.
My voice is broken and
These tears won’t flow.
SWebster May 2020
Kintsugi
So beautiful and wonderous to examine.
Yet filling in the cracks
with lies, platitudes and denial
never looks as good.
Ceramic bound in gold so intricate
yet this glue is brittle, faded and weak.
SWebster Jun 2019
As the sun tore through the clouds
It bled orange into the morning sky
While I stood idly by
Bearing witness to the silent death of the night.

— The End —