11/7/19

Why do I shrug off their compliments?
I hate words of affirmation,
I don’t know how to react or what to say,
But they’re exactly what I need.

Without praise, I’d feel worthless,
But positive public attention is almost worse.
I feel puffed up or manipulated.
But is humility shooting down an applauding crowd?

“Shut up and say thank you,” they tell me.
That’s how to master humility.
So I’ll take what I can get,
And I’ll work at giving it in return.

I have so much love inside,
That I’m afraid to show.
But blasting out compliments,
Is hardly the wrong way to go.

4/15/2019

I need a way to let my anger out.
But there’s not even a thing,
That I can think to be angry about.

I need to slow down my breathing,
I need a way to calm myself down.
Tonight my mood is the definition of seething.

My face in a perpetual frown,
I fear what I may appear to be.
Resolution can’t wait until sundown.

I can’t believe the benefit of this hobby,
There’s a beauty in the uses of poetry.
Truly a calmer person, not just a wanna-be.

Time to end this miserable soliloquy,
I think I’ll go for a walk.
Life is better spent, not being solitary.

4/28/2019

That smile you showed,
When he was left out.
Half a second, eased the load,
Brought him from his hideout.

You care for him, to the last,
Even when he's distant.
When he thought he was outcast,
You included him in an instant.

But he selfishly wants your attention,
He craves more, he can't be alone.
He'd do anything in this situation,
But his stupidity swirls like a cyclone.

He becomes like a turbulent child,
Throws a fit to get his way.
Others are easily beguiled,
But is happiness really underway?

Can the void in his heart,
Which was drained long ago,
Be filled when he becomes a bogart?
These actions damage his precarious ego.

He needs your presence;
People who truly care,
Enough to make a difference.
But he can't even tell you're there.

"Father, show him who,
You've sent them into his life,
Even though they're few,
They cut him deep like a knife.

"Let them show him his faults,
He must see for himself,
Let them open the vaults,
Show him what's on the shelf."

You see how he is corrupted.
Despite his rotten core,
Could he be accepted?
You must help him to explore.

It's not what he does,
That determines his fame.
Love sees past broken pieces,
It passes on no shame.

Overcome by greed,
Not a healthy place.
Back-stabbed and buried,
Not a way to run the race.

Overcome by pride,
Not a purposeful existence.
So much left untried,
Not gaining any distance.

He was not satisfied,
So he took a mile.
I know he was terrified,
Cuz I was he - the whole while.

1/2/20

Waiting for this is like watching someone,
Who’s struggling to lift heavy objects.
Knowing there’s work to be done.
But I’m defiant, as when a mob objects.

I see exactly what I dislike in me,
I guess, maybe I could toss it out.
Motivation comes so slowly,
But small steps are how you start.

So I’ll show you who I am,
But I’ll keep the darkest inside.
I’ll hold it back like the Hoover Dam.
Oh, how long can I go on looking dignified?

I’m in the middle of a drought,
In denial, I hold onto every drop.
Yet I haven’t figured it out,
That emotions aren’t meant to stop.

So I’ll give myself a chance,
I’ll give kindness a try.
I’ll surrender like France,
I’ll give into love and comply.

What is my own goodness?
But like a pile of wet leaves,
Or worshipping a false goddess,
Fruitless, like unsuccessful thieves.

Who am I? Who do I want to be?
I know who I was; I’m glad it’s in the past.
Yet these pains, I’ve gotten nowhere, you see?
Just when I thought I’d see the end at last.

When will I stop talking,
And move into danger’s range?
When will I stop writing,
And begin this wretched change?

4/19/2019

I’m too skinny to be mean,
So why do I walk with swag?
That’s not maturity, I’m so green.
They say, “Work out, you’re such a scrag.”

I should try to smile more,
A scowl doesn’t draw people.
But the outside reflects from the core,
So change is not that simple.

Jesus change my heart,
Fill me – no, overflow me!
I need all of you to start,
To erase this mood of gloomy.

I’d rather be a nice guy,
I wouldn’t have to worry.
My old image – it’s time to die.
My turn to forget my history.

I’m still worried about my image,
I thought I climbed over that!
This culture values the savage.
In Your face, they’ve spat.

I’d rather be a decent fellow,
Someone readily trusted.
I’m quiet, I don’t bellow,
This way I was made, but I’ve resisted.

I was raised to be a gentleman,
What does that mean?
Call me a madman,
Act like Christ, when not even seen.

I’m done with looking tough,
I want nothing to do with grim.
I’ll act in a way devoid of mischief,
Even if I look like a weak victim.

But going back to culture;
I don’t want to slip into the throng,
I won’t blend in and become a vulture,
Feeding off the weak, don’t make you strong.

“Speak softly and carry a big stick,”
An interesting concept.
People these days are all talk,
That they are wrong, they’d never accept.

Even when I’m hated,
By Christ, I will show humility.
It’s not that complicated,
An extension of His credibility.

6/22/19

I committed no crime,
So why then do I run?
Maybe I’ve run out of time,
And I can’t stand to be outdone.

As I run, I leave clues,
To divert anyone who stalks.
Random things like clews,
I’ve changed basic characteristics.

Maybe I’m bad at leaving ’em, unless
The detectives are bad at reading.
But they find me nonetheless,
As I try to explain this misunderstanding.

I argue my case – innocence,
They are not convinced.
I plead guilty – acquiescence,
They pick up on the nuanced.

Why is everything backwards?
No one understands me.
Headache and confusion afterwards,
With me no one seems to agree.

But then the detective joins me,
They don’t turn me in.
I can’t grasp it, should I flee?
My emotional reserve, dried like a raisin.

7/16/2020

You sat down to think,
To find the perfect word,
A word that defined your worth,
But the only word that came was weak.

Physically, mentally, spiritually,
In selflessness, in love, in all.
Feeling short but looking tall,
But ease comes so difficultly.

Your life identifies as a struggle,
Disasters fill your memory.
Even light things aren’t feathery,
Things the strong lift with a chuckle.

Weak can’t be your descriptor,
There has to be a better one!
Walking from here to there – feeling done,
Waiting for your heart to feel a stir.

Could you say that you are bold,
When you run from discomfort?
Will your good be remembered,
Or will the bad prevail, becoming old?

If you don’t find a better identity soon,
You’ll fall down and never recover.
I’d only you hadn’t blown every buffer,
If only you hadn’t entered that room.

But God is your loving Father,
He owns the cattle on a thousand hills.
He’s just waiting to fix your ills,
To give, and give again is no bother.

His love is the only comfort,
His grace covers your cancer,
His justice frees your anger,
His blessings are unnumbered.

He replaces your short-sighted desires,
His plans are a sure promise.
Accept him and turn from hardness,
Focus on Him, put on your blinders.

His blood flowed for you,
And his life covers yours.
His strife opened a door,
One with a joyful view.

You are a child of God, don’t forget.
Though you are truly weak,
God brings you to a new peak.
He loves you, and that’s not a threat.

God is a listening ear,
When all ears are closed,
God is the one who knows,
When others steer clear in fear.

Now, what defines you?

2/22/2021

Do you ever feel like crawling under a rock,
Hiding there ‘til the reset of the Clock,
Staying until everything is dead and gone,
Until everyone who knew you has passed on?

Life kicks the knees for diversion,
Then it drops the crushing burden.
While you cower on the ground,
It hits you again while you’re down.

I’m racing Gravity to the summit,
He’s always behind me as he plummets.
Relatively, am I really prevailing?
With him, I could be equally failing.

The less of Sleep I get, the more I want.
She’s a terrible tease becoming fond.
The hours of the night are unrestricted,
Anything can happen with dreams scripted.

My Thoughts sped off, jumping the gun,
And now I’m chasing my own cognition.
Are my neurons a waste of oxygen?
Why is the pit I’m feeding in suspension?

4/18/2019

When I feel like hanging out,
Everyone is out and about.
But when I need to get away,
They all seem to want to stay.

God bless my introversion,
Because the other way is confusion.
I dislike the way I am,
Don’t compare me to a clam!

You’ve got me wrong,
Though at times I look strong;
Inside, I’m contorted into a wince,
Praying constantly for more competence.

At the end of a long day of stress,
I sit and mull it over – attempt progress.
I wonder why I am so put-down,
Feels like I’m on the edge of breakdown.

Then I think of the days previous,
Everything becomes obvious.
I need breaks from people,
That’s always been the principle.

In the moment, it’s easy to slip up,
And think I can do this ’til sunup.
But I am weak when it all comes,
I quickly forget my problems.

I have unlimited limitations,
It’s hard to turn down invitations.
People can’t expect much from me,
But I can’t just blame my anatomy.

It seems a daily and vicious cycle
Splurge and crash, it’s becoming critical.
Balance doesn’t seem practical,
Why am I so hypocritical?

5/9/20

Where are they now?
What are they thinking about?
Are they happy? Sad?
Was their day good or bad?

I hope you don’t mind,
You’re still on my mind.
Though a thousand miles away,
I wonder about y’all, okay?

I’m out of cell service,
Way up in this wilderness.
But I still have a connection,
That grows with reflection.

Left alone with my thoughts,
But I ain’t about to go nuts.
Thinking clears the confusion,
Identify comes with seclusion.

If I can grow with you,
I can grow alone, too.
Introversion will always call,
Still… I wonder about y’all.

4/30/2020

When you wake at last in the morning,
When you move on past the mourning,
Don’t forget about me.

When you get up, out of bed,
When you smile, looking ahead,
Don’t forget about me.

When you leave and don’t look back,
When you recover from the black,
Don’t forget about me.

When you’re new and have lost this feeling,
When you’re thinking instead of dreaming,
Don’t forget about me.

You’ll wake up, another day ahead of you,
You’ll get up, excited to try something new,
But don’t forget about me!

Whatever you do, remember me then!
I’m frantic that you’ll mess us up again.
I’m desperate to make things restored,
Before we’re worse off than before.

Right now I could die just to breathe,
I’d give anything to set my mind free.
Right now you’re happy, frolicking in the sun,
You’d do anything to forget what we’ve done.

Can you even see me cry? Do take a peep,
Forget it, I’ll just cry myself to sleep.
You make decisions to help yourself,
I pay the price, as you rush off.

This relationship is self-destructive!
How can I continue to live?
We need each other, so hear my plea,
Try to think of yourself when you think of me!

3/29/2021

Don’t talk like that,
As if your defining quality,
Was the number of your atrocities.
As if what made you unique,
Were the things that made you weak.
Don’t talk like that.

When I talk like that,
Tell me who I am to you,
What I hoped, but never knew.
Tell me what you see in me,
What’s hidden needs to be free,
When I talk like that.

1/5/2021

I’ve been dreaming of a suntan.
Of flip flops, iced tea, and sunglasses.
I’ve been dreaming of road trips.
Of campfires, gasoline, and mountaintops.

But I keep opening my eyes to frost.
To snow, ice, and wind.
And I keep on missing the sun.
The heat, rain, and summer.

4/6/2021

It’s not stupid to get excited,
About something you love.
It’s not stupid to have struggled,
‘Til you wanted to give up.
It’s not stupid to sometimes forget,
All the details that I said.

4/16/2019

Closed off to the world,
That’s where I’m secure.
Terrified; so up I’ve curled,
Perhaps, this way I will endure.

I fear the unknown,
How can I face it?
I try to argue on my own,
But will the judge acquit?

I am comfortable,
Is that so wrong?
You call me a vegetable,
I resemble that, so I belong.

Can I bridge the gap between?
Is it getting nearer or farther?
I’ll just sit – observe the scene,
Change? What’s the bother?

In the past, this or that,
Not what I thought it’d be.
I can’t stand their chit-chat,
Talking always turns out crumby.

Who predicts the future?
None but God alone.
So I sit here in a stupor,
Apathy – now full-blown.

If I can’t know what to expect,
I might as well not do anything.
Of this – guilty – a viable suspect.
My uselessness: like a napkin ring.

If I venture into newness,
Evil surely awaits.
Positive outcomes in fewness,
I only see dire straits.

Let the world leave me in the dust,
You’ll see if I care!
It’s always been so prejudiced.
As long as I’m happy, that’s fair.

I’ll stay here and be constant,
I’ll let others make mistakes.
Fail? I’m too important.
I mean, for goodness sakes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can’t just end this here,
That was me in the past.
My pride – nothing dared interfere.
But God did, the obstacle passed.

I’ve learned more about losing,
I’ve lost more than I’m winning.
My victories, all by God’s choosing,
My choices are all towards learning.

You could me on quote, this:
“I had pride in my humility,”
A contradiction I always miss.
I focus now on vulnerability.

Because when I choose,
To choose spontaneity,
A boring life it eschews.
Abundant life, takes responsibility.

3/3/2021

If the eyes are the window to the soul,
Then how do I draw the curtains?
How do I turn the deadbolts?
How do I latch the storm shutters?

Give me a doorbell I can ignore,
Give me a peephole to spy through.
So when they come to stare and admire,
It’s my choice if they’re invited in.

If the eyes are the window to the soul,
I’m wearing dark sunglasses,
I’m hiding what you could read into,
I’m saving their contact for the familiar.

5/8/2020

Everything I see between the blinks,
I write about connecting the links.
But my literal pen is out of ink,
And my brain is out of words to think.

I see a cactus growing high in the rocks,
A trunk in the creek, its pathway blocks,
A squirrel, stealthy as a fox,
***** dirt, that’s not a paradox.

I see blackened bark, recent scars,
I see the ugly remnants of cigars.
Loose boulders, bigger than cars,
Leafy branches, shaped like handlebars.

I see the clouds, miles overhead,
Forest brush, a potential trailhead.
I’m getting nowhere, as I’ve said,
So I’ll try hard to listen instead.

I hear the creek, falling down the valley,
I hear voices, my blessed family.
I hear birds, their song faint but lovely,
The wind, roaring so aggressively.

I hear grass rustle in the breeze,
A twig snaps, makes the squirrel freeze,
I hear insects, leave me alone, please!
Once again I’m out, how about olfactories?

I smell pine, stronger than the rest,
Smoke, blowing from the west,
Fresh air, it smells best when I’m stressed,
Thank you, dear forest, for allowing this guest.

4/5/2021

Take a second shower
And wash off all the sweat.
Put off ‘til tomorrow
All the work that I’ve got.

Oh, I just wanna write
Forget all my issues.
I’ve ideas that’re bright
That come to my rescue.

I take a second look
The list isn’t shorter.
My hat’s back on the hook
The hook of the author.

4/18/2019

Let me show you the other side,
Let me show you the way to see.
There's no reason to hide.
From God, comes abundant mercy.

Let me guide your heavy thoughts,
Let me guide your weary feet.
Don't worry about your secrets,
Through God, you're made complete.

Let me brighten your downcast face,
Let me brighten your clouds daily.
Problems aren't yours to erase,
By God's work, you're made holy.

Let me walk you through the danger,
Let me walk you to a place of safety.
You're not meant to live as a stranger,
Because of God, fullness replaces empty.

Let me carry you through the debris,
Let me carry you when you are done.
The issues of others don't define your story.
Look to God, He'll take your burden.

Let me give you a right perspective,
Let me give you a way to cope.
Depressed thoughts are obstructive.
Thanks to God, you have a wider scope.

Let me lead you to truth.
Let me lead you from the lies.
At first, it seems uncouth,
With God, wisdom you will realize.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm the last thing you want,
When you have lost all of me.
I'm rarely at the front,
You must search if you want to see.

I'm what you need most,
When you've given up.
I'm an idea, a ghost,
When will you wakeup?

Look! The Lamb!
God's thrown down a rope.
Here I am:
My name is Hope!

4/7/2019

When to my face you confront,
Slow I am to speak.
My thoughts are not apparent,
My ideas you cannot seek.

But when through technology,
My stupidity sometime shows.
Repulsive terminology,
Erupts, I suppose.

Today I am puking nonsense,
Why don’t I shut my mouth?
All previous confidence,
Has decided to head south.

Where has my solid filter gone?
I’m not usually this way.
I feel no one could be drawn,
How long will this stay?

None of my poems have humor,
Why must I write with purpose?
This is such a ******,
Will I ever lose my serious?

7/16/2021

If I could speak to you
I’d tell you how special you are
I’d tell you that what makes you cool
Is that I can see the love of Jesus shining

If I could give you counsel
I’d tell you how valuable you are
I’d tell you how infinitely important it is
To wait patiently on God’s will for your life

If I could ask you a question
I’d want an answer from your heart
What is your pressing passion, I’d ask
What drives you, what things do you love?

If I could watch you
I’d want to see you smile
I’d want you to be safe and happy
I’d want to watch you live your dreams

If I weren’t so self-conscious
I’d be confident and encouraging
I’d want to be intentional and inviting
I’d want to be the person I’m meant to be

4/5/2019

In the middle of my transgression,
That trap I’ve fallen in before,
I cry out with desperation,
And I find an open door.
Could it have been there the whole time?

When there seems to be no progression,
It seems I can’t bear it any longer.
Where is the inert deliberation?
Somehow I must ignore the anger,
But how can I find good in the grime?

All I can see: my inward aggression!
That fuse always burning shorter,
Only accomplishing obliteration.
As I make myself a martyr,
I am sacrificed for an unknown crime.

Though my face gains new expression,
New is just another word for darker.
Inward digs the outward oppression,
It must die, but never can I conquer.
Death bells don’t seem to chime.

My focus is always my impression,
I exist to make me look better.
If it were up to my discretion,
All would fall into disorder.
Does it ever end, this eternal climb?

My story now in compression,
I couldn’t resist anymore.
My biggest fears now in suppression,
The door is the way out. Therefore,
Step though, I must. It’s showtime.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the end of all my repression!
All of me spilled on the floor!
There is no regression!
All of me, anyone can explore!
This exposed feeling is not sublime!

That open door, a misimpression?
Expectation missed, take it away, I implore!
My perspective, it doesn’t freshen,
My new life, why for it do I deplore?
Still I desire to go backwards everytime.

Is Your will bent for my depression?
Is Your love just folklore?
No! Doubt is sadly my profession,
Thank You for all that You restore,
You forgive my idiotic paradigm.

Maybe this was all to get my attention.
Though my soul feels sore,
I know I’m in a better position.
You’ve won, forget the score,
Although over time I worked overtime.

Results result from action,
What’s this all for?
Near extinction, is my confession,
But I’m no longer like that dinosaur.
I’m running out of words to rhyme.

In the end, I made the right decision,
It’s all so much more,
I’m thankful for my Implosion,
There’s less of me than before,
With you in side as my enzyme.

3/18/2021

You have good instincts.
Trust them not to betray you.
Trust them to carry you far.
Trust them to bring you close.
Trust them to keep you safe.

2/10/2022

You flipped on me like a coin
But to compare you to a currency
Would be to suggest that you actually
Could spend your time like it were money
Or that you would place value on our friendship

I held onto you like a rung on a ladder
But to compare you to such a useful tool
Would be to pose that I might have actually
Used you as if you were a piece of equipment
Or that I thought I could climb you to reach new heights

You left me like a turn signal
But to compare you to a direction
Would be to suggest that you actually
Had some purpose or mission or goal
Or that you had an inkling of the destination of your journey

8/23/19

Honestly, I really can’t believe it,
I know I can’t blame you, but,
No, I can’t ask you to stay.

Selfishness is no reason,
To ask you to reverse this conclusion.
Thoughts: with my mind they play.

Could I have done anything and changed,
How your anxiety ended up deranged?
But I know that’s a depressing thing to say.

I won’t wish you good luck,
I wish that phrase’d be struck.
Just don’t let your faith in God allay.

I pray God’s will in your life,
May He give you a love that’s bullet-proof.
Though we’ll think about you everyday.

You always smiled,
Even while your pain you beguiled.
Was there anything I did to betray?

Go, be a blessing to someone else,
This is God’s will, not just just an impulse.
We’d never ask you to disobey.

7/9/19

Procrastination looks good,
But only on paper.
In hindsight, I knew I could.

Suffocating in atmosphere,
My own thoughts – toxic vapor,
I can’t breathe through the fear.

But what am I fearing?
Strangers? A storekeeper?
Really? God, please start interfering.

My thoughts like a machine gun,
“No, no, no…” I’m captive by this kidnapper,
But We say “No,” to “No” – revolution begun.

Together, We make a plan to conquer,
Shake off this annoying stupor.
Into the darkness like a spelunker.

I can’t lie, it was dark,
But over time, the struggle will taper,
Because a blaze comes from a spark.

4/19/2019

Hello moon,
I see you from Plaster.
Like a little balloon,
Illuminating like a master.

You are a fake,
But still amazing.
The sun’s glory you take
For your own until its raising.

I view through the trees,
I can’t appreciate your detail.
You’re seen from all countries,
Yet not to the same scale.

You are so cold.
Golden like the sun,
But its fire, you don’t uphold.
But who am I? I’m just a person.

God made you for a purpose,
A celestial example you serve.
If the sun is Jesus,
To be the moon we have the nerve.

As the moon reflects the sun,
So I am a reflection of the Son.
A useful and true lesson,
A deep and meaningful comparison.

Moon, I like you.
A perfect circle in the sky,
You never miss your cue,
Never stop and ask, “why?”

I wish I were you, moon,
I wish I could follow unwaveringly.
I desire to be perfect – and soon,
The Lord will take me finally.

Thank you for this moment,
To sit back and observe.
I’m still in development,
Your wisdom, I will preserve.

6/17/19

"Oh, hello. No, not today, Lucy,
No, sorry, not even tomorrow.
You're just too goosey,
Your faulty logic, like a tornado.

"You live to see me slip up,
But I don't know you anymore.
I know you hated that breakup,
But I couldn't stand our civil war.

"We're done. Done, Lucy,
Yes, we are done forever.
I'm not into your kind of juicy,
There's no tie left to sever.

"Goodbye, I've got a new love,
Hah! You wouldn't understand.
I'm in love with the One above,
Oh, Lucifer. Your face, we backhand!"

8/28/2021

Look at all the green
And forget all the blue
You’re outside now
And it can’t touch you

8/27/19

Somehow I had it figured out that
If I made it as miserable for you
As it was for me
That then I would have happiness

I stepped into the scene
Chaos in the air as
I prepared to do the deed
Metaphorically raising the axe

But then I looked into your eyes
And saw a piece of myself
How could I let that happen
To another scared soul like me?

Jealousy runs love away from me
It’s hard to want the best for others
But if I knew what I wanted
Isn’t it also what they need?

Do unto others as you
Would have them do unto you
Why does that sound so easy?
Because all I want is a friend

Truth is, I’ve learned so much
But I learned the hardest way possible
I’d rather keep it all to myself
And watch you struggle like I did

Though it makes me feel better
It can only last so long
And it always ends with everyone
Hating me as if I had swung that axe.

4/30/2020

They liked you, so they were liked,
He injured you, so he was injured,
It was uncomfortable, so it was avoided,
She ignored you, so she was ignored,
It looked at you, so it caught your eye.

You thought it, so it was believed,
You hated him, so he was murdered,
You desired her, so she was had,
You wanted it, so it was robbed,
You felt too low, so you got too high.

When accused of wrongdoings, you lied,
But the evidence found openly decried,
So you’re behind bars – death row assigned.
A date with the electric chair, what a ride!
But you don’t care, might as well die.

With your stiff heart growing harder,
Your excitement gives you power.
It might hurt others, but you’re tougher.
It’s only electricity, you’ve been shocked before,
Just a little pain and it’s all over.

But when, at last, comes the day,
As you walk to the chair – that final domain,
You see another in your way,
Strapped in, ready to take the pain.
The guard offers to release your chain.

What will be your reply?
This can’t be happening, but it’s no lie!
You can go free or put up a fight.
You can take the second chance at life,
Or you can push him out and die tonight.

1/19/2021

As I walked in the forest one windy day,
I saw a group of birds on a branch.
As they huddled together in the cold,
They chirped from their place of safety,
And waited contentedly.

2/12/2021

God wove the fabric of reality with thread made of Love.
He created the pattern in His Image using a loom called Might.
The fabric was decorated with Holiness and scented with Purity.
It was displayed with Intelligent Design and Truth,
Set up behind windows of Beauty in a shop called Mercy and Grace.
He gave it to man for free to benefit His Glory.

Man stumbled upon this gift that had no Price.
He gazed upon it with eyes of Greed and Selfishness.
He stepped forward on shoes of Impatience.
Through the window went the rock of Pride.
He stole the fabric and called it Mine.
In a bag called Fraud, he covered the Truth with Lies.

Man claimed the beautiful fabric to be found by Chance.
He told a story about its Nature and called it Science.
He used it unsustainably to benefit his Comfort.
Man studied the fabric to replicate it as an Innovation.
He sold the knock-off fabric in a store called Modernism.
Sales brought in Profit, but the fabric was a poor Substitute.

One day God is coming back to reveal Reality,
He will tell the Story of History from a view outside of Time,
And God will enact Justice on those who denied His Gift and its Power.

12/12/19

As I sat on my porch one day,
I watched a bird in its nest.
As pushed its youngling out,
It fell from its place of safety,
And flew on out of sight.

4/13/2021

I went to the shoe store,
To buy myself some support.
I was looking for trail runners,
But I walked out with flip-flops.

Don’t get me wrong, they were great!
They didn’t have a tongue,
They were all sole with one Y,
I didn’t need anything more than that.

But I find that when I flip,
They’re the first ones to flop,
And I’m left with no backup,
After I’ve walked all over my shoes.

12/13/2020

Cold and tasteless.
Is the air.
Dry and lifeless,
Lightheaded is every breath.

Hot and sweaty.
Is my skin.
Weak and rapid,
Troubled is my heartbeat.

Muted and thirsty.
Are all smells.
Pacing and worried,
Ambivalent is my disposition.

Boring and tight.
Is this room.
Barren and absent,
Unproductive is every second.

5/8/2019
I used to think I was doing good,
Then came, something to compare myself to.
If you only understood,
That has its ups and downs as my goto.

In one hand, I know where I can grow,
But in the other, I’m such a failure.
I inevitably will either plateau,
Or crash, or find my savior.

There are three outcomes I see,
Only one seems favorable,
The other two look so unfree,
These facts are surely averrable.

Thank God I’m among such quality people,
His will is the best place I can stand.
Not just stand – run! Even up a steep hill.
He’s put me here and I’m guided by His hand.

I will always look pretty decent,
If I compare to the right ones.
This is not new – not recent,
A tradition, on and on it runs.

Balance, a difficult achievement.
Either I’m feeling low or high.
My mind feels no bereavement,
But my emotion, I can’t quantify.

Side by side, I always scrutinize,
Am I on level with their standard?
The oil tanker of my pride, capsize.
As I drown, drag me landward.

God, If I compare to you, though,
I fail every time, incessantly.
An inimitable aspect ratio,
I fear I am done – dreadfully.

So why do you reach down,
And cover me with righteousness?
Not a lie, your reputable renown.
Ignore those whose words are libelous.

You show mercy to the worst,
When we humble our pride.
None are too far accursed,
We are righteous, you decide.

3/20/2020

One against the world.
Fighting your change.
Would anyone care if you made it?
Wouldn’t they rather you fail?
Oh, they’d feel better about themselves.

One against yourself.
Fighting His change.
Would you care to let go?
Who are you even working for?
Your progress has to be between you and God.

One against your past.
Fighting your change.
Would it make a difference,
If you turned the boat around?
Could you even find your way back?

One against emotions.
Fighting their change.
Doesn’t the anger feel good,
When it wrecks your life?
Don’t you think you should hate hate?

One against a soul.
Fighting the change.
They need you, you know.
You aren’t what you’re meant to be,
It’s about time you changed course.

You’re almost ready,
So I’ll give you more time,
But I can’t promise it’ll last forever…