I don't have an issue with self confidence
A repetitive lie I've begun to notice that I tell
It's like the pain in my chest when I see other people's success compared to mine
I ignore both

When I read other writing I start out feeling so much inspiration
Then I reflect back on my own and feel incompetent
Because I can't write what they write
I can feel what they feel through their words
Something I wish I could accomplish

It's jarring and frustrating
I keep judging myself
The very thing I've run from has become my life

I can't escape the judgmental ways of this world
not from my father
not from my mother
not from my brother, my sister, or anyone
not even from myself
Because like it or not, the judgment is me

It's soaked into my veins
Like an obsession, an addiction
I wish I could pray it away,
But I don't have any faith
There is no God to save my soul
To give me pity
To take my sins away

There is only scrutiny over my every move
Whether it comes from within or someone else
It's not something I can wash away with a prayer

When everything dies an angel plays a tune
When everything leaves me is it bad to assume
That hatred is what keeps me strong ?
Though I could be wrong...
First mother then father now even my grandpa
Have all disappeared...like the lirycs of a forgotten song
Another day ends in defeat, another time I end up beat
Whats the point of ever even trying ?
If I would say that I am okey I would be lying
Its fine to die...we are all the same
Here hold this determinded flame...
Its all I have left....
Will someone take my hand ?
Or did my life already begin to end,
Like my father who has pathetically killed himself
A Umi who is left without any friend
Is worth nothing at all, maybe this is the right time, to take my fall
I cant take this anymore, not the blood I bled,
My vision begins to slowly turn red
Is this what is called fate ? Is this what I get ?
But we are not our past...not our fears..
Please someone rest with me...
Let me breathe and set me free,
Even if this wretched world with all its flaws might be beautiful
I don't want to be part of it anymore,
I want to rise into the heavens and soar..
I want to be free
HELP ME

~ Umi

"We can't afford to be wrong on this issue."  
~ Francis Chan

With holy anguish hearts are crying
through feeble language urgently trying
to summon the sleeping now to wake
for souls' eternities are at stake

Dear Darling
What turns me on
Isn’t the thought of you
On that date
That you held me
At my waist
Pulling me to you
What turns me on
Is what your tongue
Can do to the moist heat
Between my legs
And I look forward
To a sensuous serendipity
When it’s least expected of you

me thinks a sonnet is very hard to write
putting it on paper doth require skill
one must show the ease of a carefree kite
whence applying each and every ink spill
there's no room for bad mistakes being made
the formatting should carry the right tone
as stated by Will who knew of poetic trade
penning many hundreds in iambic cone
one did dare Shakespeare's enduring trail
on attempting his fourteen line layout
oh yes the challenging road did prevail
depicting a time honoured rhyming rout
with couplet concise one shall fly away
leaving a poem of red roses in May