Good and bad
Worse I've had
You've been there
Always there

God you're gracious
Humbled and good
So AWESOME and MIGHTY!!
I've been smitten by you

Your love is higher
So high above the sky
It's the only love I could ever get high on
Without taking any drugs.

Love is patient
Love is kind
God's love is full
Not partial nor blind
To people who suffer
who are tortured or blind
He hears
He answers
He helps
If you believe
and have faith in His only Son.

My thoughts crept in deep
In mistakes and failures
At high steep
Demons and monsters
Doesn't come under my bed
It's inside my head.

Misunderstood and Misunderstandings
is the foothold of my reality
Labels and blames
You blame me
for your life in difficulty
Stop it !
Stop it !
I'm not to blame for your mistakes
I'm not the bully
who threw away my life in vain
You're the one who did
You're the one to blame.

Something is boiling
Boiling inside of me
Frustration and anger
Or fear of insanity
I hope it's nothing
and
I hope to keep my sanity
But something is boiling
Boiling in me

Tears of sadness
of lost hope and tragedy
Please, i hope
I keep my sanity
My fears are coming
I'm slipping out of reality
My voice is binded
By all your cruelty.

The end is near
but i feel clearer
because i know
that God is here
Knowing my name
Embracing all my shame
despite my imperfections
He is here to stay forever.

When life is hard
and you feel like you've give up
Don't be afraid
God will show the way
He'll walk with you
Hold your hand
and
always keep you safe
Don't be afraid
He'll be always there

Darkness had filled me
Yet
When darkness  stayed
Tinges of ray broke through
The rays that felt warm,  tender and pure
Though it was dark
I could see
Though i felt trapped
I was already rescued
Though i kept going back
He kept coming back
Rescuing me
From darkness
From chains
From my greedy self
He was that tinge of ray.

People say and sing
that words don't ****
I say that
cruel words
do ****
and
it hurts like hell.

Do not control me, mum
I am not a robot
Or your play toy thing
I am a human
With emotions
and free will.

Stop laughing
Stop pointing
Stop staring at me
Can't you see
I'm hurt
Beated
Lying cold on the floor
With nothing but guilt
Guilt of having to be me
Guilt that slowly consumes me
Guilt which isn't supposed to be within me

I am me
What's wrong with it
I'm weird
Calm
and strange in a good way
What's wrong with being myself
that i get pointed, laughed and rejected at
at the point of feeling guilty to be ME
Me who sometimes wishes to exist among people!

The real me
what is it
Is it defining a character
or
Is it knowing one's actions

My family and friends think they know me
but
how can that be
when i don't even know
the real
me!