It is 4:30 in the afternoon
And I tell you
This is my favorite time of day.
You ask why
So I point to the gold
Streaming in the window,
Bouncing off the dust.
And you kiss me.
Maybe 4:31 in the afternoon
Is my favorite time of day.

We were supposed to be together. Forever.
We are supposed to be together. Forever.
We were supposed to be over. Forever.
We are supposed to be over. **Forever.

14 and so naïve
I could have sworn
you were the one
made for me.

It was like happy was bursting upwards
and pushing on the inside of my cheeks--
a smile.
Not hardly forced

Cleaning up the mess of past years from the carpets
In my Hawaiian themed bedroom
half lime green, half baby blue
and all Haley.

I sent you a simple apology
for kicking your feelings
and hurting your heart

A part of me knew we weren't through
the day we had finished.
When your best friend kissed me
at the top of a closed in stairwell

I guess I'd missed that feeling
where your fingertips tingle
at the tiniest touch.

You wrote back
with open arms
even with that stomped up heart

You asked what my favorite day of summer had been
foolishly,
I'd responded “this one”

Back when we knew everything.
When parents taught us nothing
and schooling,
even less

I'd missed you
the brown eyes I'd been in love with,
more so--
infatuated with.

I didn't plan
just played games
that felt sincere.
Toyed with hearts
that felt like home.

I don't know how you did,
or why,
but I sent you an apology
and you replied.

You're kind of like yesterday's rain
You're gone but not completely
I can still smell you
And feel your presence
How you set foot
And left your mark
But only for a while
Before you leave for good
And come back again
Unexpected
And I hate how you
Just leave without saying
A simple goodbye
Just a reminder that
You were there
And that you'll be
Gone again

n.j.

the car oozes its rusty roars
as we make our way
out of this town, fleeing.

we held each other's hands,
you keep your eyes on the road
while i keep crying like an idiot.

to be perfectly honest, i didn't know
the real reason why there are tears,
it is because i am happy with you? or scared of this decision?

all i know is that i love you,
all i know is that i am scared,
all i know is that this is wrong.

but i continue, trying to prove
myself wrong. and for the past two years
i have never been so wrong in my life.

we were not brave souls, the ones you said.
we are young, hormonal, and
purely stupid.

our plans, my life, and yours
are wounded intricately
together.

you move, i move.
you breathe, i breathe.
you touch me, i touch you.
you stay, this time
I go.

it is impossible for you to understand
that we got scared of what's beyond.

but sometimes the people worth fighting for
aren't worth loving anymore.

Run.
You run and I run with you.
We run together not caring whats behind us. Though it cares about us.
Just run, to be free is to be with you.
But shouldn't it be the other way around?
How do we know our priorities aren't messed up?
Doubt waves a lazy hello as we run. I grasp your hand and run harder.
I'm with you and that's all that matters.
Head strong to take on anyone.
To be with you is to be free.

My hands are cold
And lonely like my soul
My lips are untouched
Craving for a kiss, wanting more
My body itches
Waiting for you to be by my side
My life is dull without you
Because you are the center
And love of my life

n.j.